


Childcare

by fangs_for_the_memories



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Children, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-04-05 02:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 102,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangs_for_the_memories/pseuds/fangs_for_the_memories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a mishap involving the Alchemy Club turns most of the gang into children, Carmilla is left taking care of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thunderbolts and Lightning, Very Very Frightening

**Author's Note:**

> This was finished earlier in the week, but after 2x05, I figured I could hold off on posting a fluffy fic until angst popped up. Which was apparently a good idea because we got some angst in today's ep. Here's to tiding us over until Tuesgay, everyone! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang tries to cope with their newest situation, while a storm hits the campus.

The video begins with a small girl in frame, clearly sitting on some sort of booster seat.  She has light brown hair and determined eyes and is biting her lip. She doesn’t seem any older than five years old.  
“Hello viewers!”  She greets brightly.  “Laura Hollis, here.”

She fidgets in her chair a bit and speaks while twirling in her chair.

“I know I seem slightly different than the last time you saw me,” she continues.  “That’s because the Styrian Chemical Society club on campus was doing some research and the vapors mixed with something the Alchemy Club was working on and it all exploded into this massive cloud of weird stuff over the entire campus.”

Laura sighs and readjusts herself in her seat. “And whatever the weird stuff is, it’s turned us all into like, five year olds.  Classes are canceled for now.  Danny and Kirsch are off literally shoving each other around on the playground. LaF and Perry are in a shouting match in their room.  I’m sitting on a bunch of Carm’s old books.  And Carm, well––” She looks around behind her.

 

Suddenly a commotion is heard in the hallway, becoming louder as it approaches the room.  Carmilla appears, seemingly unchanged, with a small redheaded child sitting on her shoulders.

“LaFont _aine_ , get off Carmilla!  It’s not safe,” another redheaded child scolds, toddling after them.

Carmilla stumbles into the room, careful that the giggling child sitting on her shoulders doesn’t hit their head on the doorframe.

“Perry, you should try this, it’s so much fun!”

Laura shrugs at the camera.  “Carm doesn’t really seem to be affected.”

Carmilla plops down on the bed and LaFontaine climbs off of her.  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I signed up to be toting around little ginger children,” Carmilla snarks, lightly mussing up their hair.

LaF grabs their hair and runs away from Carmilla. “Dude, so not cool! Stay away from the hair.”

 

Perry crosses her arms and huffs. “How long are we going to be like this? I have chores to do, like dusting the room, and I can’t reach half of it.”

“Per, come on, enjoy it a little! We’re children again! Let’s run around like we used to and chase each other!”

The other redhead rolls her eyes. “When we used to do that, it was you chasing me, and I was always faster than you, so I’d have to stand and wait, and it wasn’t any fun for me.”

LaF giggles.  “Then don’t run so fast, silly!”

More footsteps rapidly approach the room and two more children run in, much to Carmilla’s chagrin.

A boy runs in first, laughing meanly, followed by a tiny redhead.  She’s smaller than the others.

“D-bear’s tiny, D-bear is _tiny_ ,” the boy chants.

The redhead tugs on Carmilla’s sleeve. “Fang face, Kirsch is being mean to me because I’m shorter than everyone else,” she whines.

“So I’ve heard,” Carmilla sighs. “And what am I supposed to do about it, miniature Xena?”

“Make him stop!” she pouts.

Carmilla sneers at her.  “Just because I’m the only one that didn’t shrink into a munchkin doesn’t mean I’m in charge of childcare.”

 

Danny’s pout grows and her eyes well up.

“D-bear is a tattle-tale,” Kirsch mocks.

Danny lets out a frustrated grunt. “That’s _not my name_!” she yells, chasing him around the room.

 

They go around the room a few times before they bump into the chair Laura’s sitting on and the books slide out from under her. She falls off the chair and hits her head on the desk, landing on the floor with a thud.

She promptly bursts into tears, crying hard. Carmilla rushes over and drops to her side.

Danny and Kirsch have stopped running around and are looking at Laura with apologetic looks.  “We’re so sorry, Laura,” Danny says softly.

“Yeah, we didn’t mean to,” Kirsch adds.

“Get the hell out of this room before I punt you across the quad,” Carmilla growls, holding the crying girl against her.

Laura’s cries haven’t died down yet as she nuzzles her face into the older girl’s shoulder.  “Carm–– it’s–– fine––” she gasps out between sobs.

Carmilla shakes her head.  “No, it’s not!” she says, fury in her eyes directed at the two itty-bitty offenders that injured her tiny girlfriend.

Kirsch looks terrified and starts crying first before Danny eventually joins in.

Carmilla sits there holding her head around the three crying children.

 

“You made them cry?” Laura whimpers. “You made them cry, Carm!”

Danny’s hysterical now and Kirsch is blubbering “I’m sorry” and “I’ll never call you D-Bear again.”

LaF is kicking their feet on the bed and shakes their head.  “Hoo, boy,” they breathe out.

Perry clicks her tongue.  “Carmilla, I understand this is a handful right now, but making those two cry isn’t a solution.”

“Geez, even at five years old you were just a little ball of logic, weren’t you?” Carmilla snaps.

“Yep!” the tiny redhead beams proudly.

“She wasn’t very popular in school,” LaF fake-whispers to Carmilla, who smiles at the glare Perry gives her best friend.

 

Carmilla takes a deep breath to calm down.

She looks at the two weeping children near her, who are slowly calming down, but still sniffling. “Look, I shouldn’t have yelled at you guys.”  She’s alternating between patting her and rubbing Laura gently until she has also completely calmed down. “I think everyone being in this room right now, it’s–– it’s just a lot of energy in here.  And if everyone just goes back to their rooms and does what the Alchemy Club says and waits for this to wear off, that’ll be for the best, okay?”

Perry nods and is the first to start leaving the room. “Come on, LaFontaine.”

LaF is more hesitant and waits in the doorway. “Any chance I can get one more piggyback ride befo––”

Carmilla shoots her a look.  “Don’t push it, Bio Major.”

They grin and follow Perry back to their room.

 

Danny and Kirsch are still standing there, looking ashamed.

“We really are sorry, Laura,” Kirsch says sheepishly.

Danny looks like she’s about to cry again as Carmilla slowly walks Laura over to her bed.  She has a pretty large gash on her forehead that’s bleeding and Danny quietly goes to the bathroom and wets a towel, handing it to Carmilla.

“Thanks,” the vampire grumbles.

 

Carmilla kneels down in front of Laura. Kirsch waves goodbye and Danny stands by Laura’s bed, wringing her hands.

“What is it?” Carmilla asks sharply, trying to be as gentle as she can be.

“Uhm,” little Danny says, biting her lip. “C-Can I hug Laura?”

Carmilla sighs and lets the girl through, and she runs over and wraps her arms around Laura.

“I’m sorry, Laura,” Danny says, muffled in her shirt.

“It’s okay, Danny,” Laura replies.

Danny pulls her small tear-stained face away. “You’re not mad?” she sniffles.

Laura shakes her head and grins at her friend. “Of course not!”

“Okay,” Danny says quietly.  “I guess I’ll let the vampire take care of you, now. See you in a couple days.”

 

Carmilla closes the door after she leaves and sits back on the bed and gently dabs at the cut.

Laura winces.  “Take it easy on my tiny head, Carm,” she whines.

Carmilla frowns and removes the cloth. “Sorry, cutie.”

“S’okay,” Laura says, taking the opportunity to crawl into Carmilla’s lap.  Carmilla smiles down at her and plants a kiss in her hair.

“Do you want a band aid for it?” she asks, resuming her efforts to clean the cut.

Laura shakes her head.  “My dad always said band aids make a Hollis weak.”

Carmilla laughs and Laura smiles at the rumbles she feels against her back.

“But if you kiss my boo-boo, I won’t object.”

The vampire does as asked.

“The bleeding’s stopped and the boo-boo has been kissed, cupcake.”

Laura yawns.  “Thank you, Carm.”

“How’s a nap sound, buttercup?”

Laura nods and yawns again.  Carmilla chuckles and scoops the girl up and positions her carefully on the bed so they can lie on it together without fear that she’ll accidentally roll over on top of her.  She walks over and turns off the camera and settles on the bed.

“You’re handling childcare pretty well,” Laura comments against Carmilla’s collarbone before falling asleep.

Carmilla doesn’t answer but smiles as she dozes off, as well.

 

* * *

 

 

“Carm,” Laura calls gently.  “Carm? Carm. Carm… Carm, Carm, Carm.  Carmmm?  _Carm_.”

“It doesn’t even sound like a word anymore,” Carmilla mumbles.

“It’s not a word,” Laura says, scrunching up her face. “It’s your name, silly.”

Carmilla doesn’t open her eyes and clamps her hand over Laura’s mouth.  “I need my beauty sleep, babe.”

Laura looks annoyed at the hand and licks the palm. Carmilla laughs and removes the hand. “You’re beautiful enough,” Laura remarks.

“Wow, charming even at this age,” Carmilla comments, finally opening her eyes.  “What’s up?”

Laura holds a glowing phone screen up to her girlfriend’s face.

“I’m not reading all these texts, hon. Summary?”

“Everyone’s too scared to fall asleep,” Laura says. “Is it okay if LaFontaine and Perry and maybe Danny and Kirsch sleep over?”

Carmilla sits up, her eyebrows furrowed. “You mean everyone is actually _asking permission_ to enter our room for once?  Man, you guys should be turned into toddlers more often.”

Laura giggles.  “They’re all still scared after you yelled at Danny and Kirsch earlier.”

“That’s the way it should be,” Carmilla teases proudly. “Why are they all afraid to sleep alone?”

 

As if on cue, a large thunder crash echoes through the room.

“That’s why,” Laura answers, slightly shaken. “The rain started a little bit after we fell asleep and the lightning and thunder started a couple minutes ago and now everyone’s freaking out.”

Carmilla sighs and lies back down. “Yes, they can come over.”

 

Within ten minutes, Carmilla is curled around Laura on her bed, while LaFontaine and Perry share Laura’s bed and Danny and Kirsch have sleeping bags on the floor.

Thunder booms, louder than before, and Danny squeaks on the floor.

“It’ll be okay, D-Bear,” Kirsch says, his voice wavering.

“Carmilla will protect us from the thunder,” Perry adds.

LaFontaine stirs.  “Actually, technically, Carmilla can’t––”

Laura shushes them.  “Carmilla _will_ protect us.” She nudges the vampire lying next to her.  “Right?”

Carmilla looks at the five pairs of eyes on her and tries her best at a warm smile.  “Yeah, I’ll protect you guys from the thunder.”

 

There’s a flash of lightning and everyone visibly jumps.

Carmilla smirks.  “Lightning, on the other hand…”

“Carm!” Laura scolds at the same time Danny starts crying on the floor.

“Kidding!  I’m kidding!” Carmilla insists.

“Tell tiny D-Bear that,” Kirsch comments.

“That’s not my name!” Danny yells through her tears.

Carmilla rolls over and stares down the two children on the floor.  “If you don’t cut it out and let me sleep, I’m going to snatch one of you up and eat you,” she snaps. “Understood?”

The two children nod and quietly settle back in their sleeping bags, and Carmilla lies back down.

 

Laura wiggles closer to Carmilla. “Carm, you’re not really going to eat one of them, are you?” she whispers.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Only if one of them injure you again, cutie.”

There’s more thunder and lightning, but everyone’s fears seem to have been settled.

“Aren’t you still scared?” Kirsch whispers to Danny.

“Yeah, but I’m more scared of the vampire on the bed next to me,” Danny whispers back.

“Good,” Carmilla says, having overheard with her vampiric hearing.  “Let’s keep it that way.”

Danny and Kirsch’s eyes widen and they stay quiet for the rest of the night.

 _I guess childcare isn’t so bad after all_ , Carmilla muses as she listens to the five children fall asleep, one by one.


	2. Big Meanie Buttface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura goes to the park with her friends, when a very angry Carmilla shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fic was totally supposed to be a one-shot to help cope with the angst earlier in the season, but then I had so many ideas flying around that now I'm just gonna post a chapter every time an episode feels too angsty.  
> And for me, if you look at ep 2.09 from Carmilla's POV, it's a bit angsty.  
> Enjoy!

“Hello viewers,” Laura greets her camera. She’s still in her five-year old body and is alone in the room.  She chews on her lip and hesitates before continuing.

“So, it’s been about a week… and we’re all still stuck like this.  The Styrian Chemical Society club is too busy dealing with some of its more immature members causing chemical explosions around campus, while the Alchemy Club can’t be disciplined enough to put their heads together to figure anything out.”

Laura sighs and holds her small head in her hands. “Carm’s being as patient as she can, but I think she’s starting to get fed up with being the only non-child around here.  Y’know, more so than usual.”

Danny bursts into the room with Kirsch not far behind her.  “Laura! Stop recording!”

Laura turns around.  “Oh, no, what happened now?”

The tiny redhead laughs.  “Nothing, silly.  It’s just that it’s a nice day out.  Perry and LaFontaine are already at the park and we’re going over and we wanted you to come!”

 

“Okay!”  Laura turns off her camera, slowly gets off her boosted seat and bounces out the door with the other two.

* * *

 

 

“KIRSCH, STOP PUSHING ME SO HARD!” Danny whines loudly from the swing seat.

Kirsch cackles behind her.  “D-bear is a fraidy-cat, D-bear is a fraidy-cat,” he chants.

Perry shrieks and runs out of the sand box, leaving a confused LaFontaine behind.  “Wilson Kirsch, you leave Danny alone right now,” she scolds.

She chases after him, but he does figure-8s around the swing set, pushing a terrified Danny again every time he passes by behind her.

Laura walks over from the slide and sits down with LaF. “Whacha makin’?”

“I’m _trying_ to make a mansion.”  The redhead huffs. “But the stupid sand is too dry to stay up.”

Laura shrugs.  “Why don’t we add some water to it?”  She stands and offers them her hand to help them up. “My mom and dad used to take me to the beach and we built sand castles all the time!”

The two toddle over to the fountain and fill some cups with water.

As they head back to the sand box, they find themselves faced with a glowering, angry vampire.

 

“Uh, hi, Carm,” Laura greets nervously. “What’s up?”

The tall brunette crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow.  “Oh, gee, I don’t know, mini-cupcake.  Maybe it’s because I come back to our room after going out on a walk to find my tiny quiche of a girlfriend has gone missing.”  She pulls out her cell phone.  “So I think, ‘Hmm, Carm, maybe you should try _calling_ your brownie bite.’ But guess who left their cell phone _in the room_?”

Laura smiles sheepishly.  “Carm, I didn’t--”

“And then I ask myself, ‘Mircalla Karnstein, what would your darling tart be doing right before she gets rushed out of the room? Maybe recording a video?’ And lo and behold, those watching your livestream have a better idea of where my girlfriend is than I do.” She cuts her eyes at the girl. “Would a text have killed you?”

Laura stammers.  “Carm, I--”

Carmilla grits her teeth.  “Or taking your phone?”  She chucks her phone near Laura, purposely missing but still close enough to make a point.

 

Laura’s lower lip trembles in a pout.

Danny and Kirsch come up behind her. Danny wraps her arms around Laura and scowls at Carmilla.

“Did you just throw a phone at Laura?” Danny yells.

“Stuff it, strawberry shortcake,” Carmilla snaps. “I was worried about her.”

“You were worried about her, so you threw your phone at her?” Kirsch asks.  “Man, and I thought bros were weird when they like girls.”

 

“Wait, you were worried about me?” Laura asks. “Why were you worried?”

Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose with her fingers, closes her eyes, and gives a long, exasperated sigh. “Seriously, cupcake? You’re a tiny five-year old with the personality of your nineteen-year old self.  Is your body even capable of pulling off your krav maga moves? Or even spraying the nozzle of the bear spray can?”

“But why would I need any of that? The entire campus is the same age as me,” Laura points out.

“Yeah, but what about _outside_ of the campus?  I’m a vampire and there are plenty of hunters and who knows what else that’s just looking for a way to get to me.  Who’s to say this whole thing isn’t a ploy to make you vulnerable to get to me?”

“Maybe it’s the whole ‘being tiny’ thing, but I still don’t get it,” Laura replies.  She looks around at her friends, who either shares her same confused look or shrug at her. “Why would me being vulnerable affect you?”

Carmilla shoot the others a look and they all leave immediately, except Danny.  
“I may be the smallest one here now, but if you throw another phone towards her, I will get a stepladder and punch you. In the face.” The short redhead does the _I’m watching you_ gesture and slowly walks away.

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes with a small smile and kneels down to get on eye level with Laura.  “Laura, if something happens to you— something worse than a weird chemical gas reducing you to a toddler— I would be inconsolable and never forgive myself.”

She takes Laura’s hands in hers and gently squeezes them.

“I’m so sorry I overreacted.  I was never going to hit you with the phone.”

Laura giggles.  “I know that, silly.  There’s no way your aim is that bad.”  She smirks. “I mean, if it is, then we have to work on your aim _and_ your temper, and that makes you a fixer-upper, and we can’t have that.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “I can promise you I will… _definitely_ … work on…”  She kisses Laura’s nose and grins mischievously.  “…my _aim_.”

She swoops Laura off the ground and carries her over to the swings and puts her on one.

“Wait, I was helping LaF with a sand mansion!” Laura protests.  They look over and Perry is helping LaF carry over more water.  They already have a small foundation built.

“I think they’ve got it covered, cutie,” Carmilla remarks, pushing Laura gently.

Laura pumps her legs.  “Fine, I didn’t want to build a stupid sand mansion, anyway,” she insists stubbornly.

Carmilla walks around and pushes the swing from the front.  “Who’s got a temper, now?”

Laura sticks her tongue out and the vampire laughs.

“I really am sorry for losing it before, hon.” Carmilla bites her lip. “That was wrong.”

“Well,” Laura says, wriggling her nose, “I’m sorry for making you worry.  It’s just that these pants pockets are so small that phones are annoying to carry around. I mean, I feel like five-year olds weren’t meant to have phones.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “I completely agree with you, babe.”

 

She feels someone tug on her shirt and she looks down to see two children looking up at her.

“Can you push us on the swings, too?” Kirsch asks. “Danny doesn’t push hard enough.”

“And Kirsch pushes too hard,” Danny adds.

Carmilla looks over at Laura.

“Don’t worry, Carm, I have some momentum going,” she responds, still pumping her legs.

Carmilla sighs and lifts Kirsch up on one swing, giving him a few hard pushes until he’s whooping and cheering.

She walks over and gets Danny onto a swing. “Still want to punch me in the face, Red?”

Danny nods emphatically.  “You bet.”

Carmilla nods and then flashes a quick grin. “Just making sure.”

 

She pushes Danny harder than she pushed Kirsch and laughs as the tiny redhead begins screaming and shrieking.

“Oh my god, Carm, _stop_!” Laura yells.  She starts to let her swing slow down so she can hop off, but Carmilla gives hers another couple pushes to keep it in motion.

Kirsch is laughing so hard he gets off his own swing and stands nearby, pointing and wiping tears from his eyes.

“Getmeoffgetmeoffgetme _off!_ ” Danny screeches.  “ _Stop pushing me, Fang Head!_ ”

Carmilla cups her hand around her ear. “Oh, what’s that? ‘Push me harder, Lady Carmilla?’” She gives the child a slightly stronger push and cackles when Danny starts crying, clinging onto the chains on the seat for dear life.

“HELP!” Danny screams.  Perry starts running over.

Laura manages to hop off the swing and tugs at Carmilla, joined by Perry.  “Carm, leave her alone!” Laura pleads.

Carmilla gives Danny a few more gentle pushes. “Whattya say, bud? Still want to punch me in the face?”

Danny is whimpering and sniffling. “No!  Okay?  I won’t punch you in your stupid, dumb face!”

Carmilla pretends to think hard and mull it over.

 

“Carm, please,” Laura begs.

“I’ll take it,” the vampire answers before slowing the swing down so Danny doesn’t fly off it. 

Danny runs into Laura’s arms and sobs into her shoulder.  “That big meanie buttface,” she grumbles.

Laura squeezes her.  “I know, but that big meanie buttface is my girlfriend,” she says, letting Danny go.  She looks at the aforementioned big meanie buttface.  “As punishment, I am not talking to you the _whole_ way home.”

Carmilla smirks.  “Oh, really?  But what about once we get home?”

“Maybe then.  But definitely not before.”  She crosses her arms and bunches up her face with the most defiant look she can muster.

The vampire picks up the tiny ball of rage. The two disappear in a puff of smoke and reappear in their room.

Laura huffs and looks offended at the loophole as she’s lowered to the ground.  “Carm, you are impossible,” she declares, plopping on her bed.

Carmilla laughs.  “Gotta get my kicks somehow.”  She lies down on her bed.  “Maybe now she’s so afraid of heights that when she turns back to normal she’ll always be twitchy.”

Laura throws up her arms in disgust. “First you scared her during the thunderstorm, now you scared her at the park.  What’s next?”

 

Carmilla thinks for a moment. “I could try scaring her at the zoo,” she replies slowly.

Laura glares across the room. “That was a rhetorical question. And don’t you dare, Carmilla Karnstein.”

She winks.  “I like a challenge, cutie.”

 


	3. King of the Jungle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Zetas, Summer Society, and Laura and her friends head to the zoo, hijinks ensue. Carmilla and Danny come to some sort of understanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad you're enjoying this! I'll just continue posting new chapters after we get an angsty episode in an attempt to keep morale up :)  
> I'll also be tagging any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "#Carmilla Childcare" (at http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/). There's currently two more chapters written and about a dozen more planned out.

“I can’t believe you’re actually coming along to the zoo,” Laura whispers to Danny.  “What if Carm tries to scare you again?”

Danny shrugs.  “The rest of the Summer Society won’t put up with it,” she replies. “If she tries anything, Mel would probably push her into the lion pit.”

“But she’s a giant cat, remember? Carm would probably enjoy that.”

“Enjoy what?” Carmilla asks, walking up to them.

Danny rolls her eyes and walks away. Carmilla starts to follow her to continue teasing her but Laura grabs her hand.

“Let’s go see the monkeys,” she insists, batting her eyelashes.

Carmilla sighs and lets the small girl lead her away from the main entrance.  “How did your parents ever say ‘no’ to you, cutie?”

“They didn’t,” Laura replies. “They just grumbled about everything. Sorta like you do.”

The vampire chuckles.

 

They go to the Baboon Reserve and the Birds of Prey exhibit, as well as Tiger Mountain, before they catch up with Perry and LaFontaine at Mouse House.

The pair is clearly bickering about something as the couple approaches.

“Laur,” LaF begins very seriously, “do you think they’d mind if I take one or two or several to use for experiments at the lab? Even if I ask first?”

“You can’t just _take mice from a zoo_ , LaFontaine,” Perry scolds.

“But some of these mice are super rare, Per!”

“I _know_ that! That’s probably why they’re here! To be _protected_!”

“Yeah, I don’t think you can take them. Sorry, LaF,” Laura responds.

Perry looks proudly validated, while her best friend pouts.

 

“Anyway,” Laura says awkwardly, “what have you guys seen?”

“Himalayan Highlands, Jungle World, and Congo Gorilla Forest,” LaF answers.  “They were all okay but I think the Zetas were by the World of Reptiles and are gonna be there for a while since it’s…”  They begin impersonating the members.  “…like, so cool how they’re dudes that are all reptile-y and stuff.”

Laura giggles and tugs on Carmilla’s hand. “Can we go there next?”

Carmilla smiles and nods.

The Zetas had since wandered from the World of Reptiles to the African Plains exhibit next to it.  A lion walks into view, and the boys start clamoring with excitement. It yawns and lies down in the pit below, resulting in disappointed sounds from the group.

Laura snickers.  “Wow, Carm, it’s you as a lion,” she teases.

Carmilla glares down at her.  “Watch it, Hollis, or I’ll feed you to them.”

Laura hugs her girlfriend’s arm and nuzzles her face into it.  “You wouldn’t dare.”

 

There’s a sudden commotion by the Mouse House. They glance over and LaFontaine is running away from a few guards with something in their hand.

Perry is grabbing her own hair, distraught. “Su— LaFontaine! Give them the mouse back, now!” She starts to chase after them and the entire group runs by after a very determined LaFontaine.

“LaFontaine, _no_!” Perry yells.

“LaFontaine, yes!” they scream back. “Don’t worry, Squeakers, we’re gonna be science buddies,” LaF whispers into their hand.

 

“Carm, can you…?” Laura whispers.

The vampire rolls her eyes but lets the girl’s hand go and runs fast enough to pass the guards, but not fast enough to seem supernatural.

Laura spots Theo and he waves at her. She walks over. “Hi, Theo.  Do you know where Kirsch is?”

He shrugs as they hear footsteps rapidly approach them. Laura spots Kirsch, followed by Danny and a very angry Mel.

“Pull her hair again!  I dare you!” the latter shrieks.

“Calm down, dudes!” Kirsch responds, hiding near Laura and Theo.

Danny is holding her pigtail. “That really hurt, Kirsch,” she whines. She frets at the fraying braid. “ _And_ you ruined it!”

 

Mel charges through, pushing Theo aside. “Apologize to her, booger brain!”

“Now, guys––” Laura tries to interrupt, but is ignored.

“It just looked so pull-able,” Kirsch says.

 

“Apologize!” Mel demands, getting very close to his face.

Theo pushes his way back over. “Leave him alone!”

Mel shoves Kirsch a bit.  “Tell him to leave Danny alone!”

“Guys, cut it out!” Laura warns urgently.

Theo decides to shove Mel from behind. Her jaw drops open and she pushes Theo back and is then shoved by Kirsch.  A huge shoving match ensues between the Summer Society and Zetas with Laura in the middle.

It starts to get particularly heated near the original quartet and Mel winds up a punch to hit Kirsch.

“No!” Laura yells and grabs her arm, but Mel shakes her off hard.

Laura loses her footing and stumbles backwards. Her foot gets caught on the rope surrounding the exhibit and she falls over it into the pit below, landing with a small thud.

 

“Laura!” Danny screams, and all the shoving and fighting immediately ceases.  The children all look around for a guard, but they’ve all left to go chase after LaFontaine.

“She’s not moving, bro,” Kirsch says, his voice cracking.

“Laura?  Can you hear us?” Danny calls down, trying not to burst into tears.

After a few moments, Laura finally stirs and sits up, but cries out in pain.

“What’s wrong?  What is it?” Theo asks.

“My ankle hurts,” Laura says, wincing.

“Be quiet, guys,” Mel says, loud enough for Laura to hear, but quieter than before.  She points at the lion, whose since woken up and now seems very interested in the girl down in the pit with him.

 

Laura lets out a yelp and tries to crawl backwards away from it and hits the wall.

“It’s like, a six foot difference,” Danny whispers. “We can’t get you back up here.”

The lion stands and regards Laura carefully.

“Guys, cut the rope and pull me up,” Laura whispers back.

The Zetas pull out knives and start working on cutting the rope around the exhibit.

“My little dude muscles are making this super hard,” Kirsch whispers, irritated.

“I know, man,” Theo says.  The knife, too big for his grip, accidentally flies out of his hand and into the pit below.

The lion snarls at the weapon now entering his arena and starts approaching Laura, who lets out a squeak.

 

Carmilla walks up to the group. “Well, I caught the mouse-stealing ginger and the guards are dealing them now––”

She stops when she sees a couple dozen of guilty faces looking back at her.

“…What?”

She scans the crowd.  “What’s going on?  Where’s Laura?”

Danny points at Theo.  “He did it!  He dropped the knife!”

The boy gasps and is taken aback. “Me?  It was Mel who tried to punch Kirsch and knocked her over!”

The girls start yelling back.

Mel scoffs.  “If Kirsch hadn’t pulled Danny’s hair, none of this would be happening!”

The Zetas are fired up now.

“You’re always starting stuff,” Kirsch yells.

 

“ _HEY!_ ” Carmilla finally yells.  The children stop bickering and stare up at the angry vampire.  “I don’t give a crap about what any of you are saying right now,” she states bluntly.  “Where. Is. Laura?”

 

“ _HELP_!”

Carmilla runs over to the edge of the pit to see Laura hopping around the pit on one foot as the lion stalks its prey.

“Kirsch pulled my hair, Mel stood up for me, there was a fight, Laura accidentally got knocked in by Mel, Theo dropped his knife, and n-now…”  Danny’s lower lip starts trembling.  “Now that lion is going to _eat Laura!_ ”

Carmilla sighs and looks around. “Not if I have anything to say about it.”  She grabs Danny and Kirsch. “Keep an eye out for guards, okay? Can you two imbeciles handle that?”

They nod emphatically.

 

Without further ado, Carmilla turns into a big, black panther.  Ignoring the gasps this elicits from the children, she leaps into the pit.

The lion roars at her, but the panther hisses and growls back.  A few seconds pass with Carmilla and the lion growling at each other before the lion finally bows and skulks back to where it had been resting before Laura tumbled into its pit.

Carmilla grabs Laura by the back of her shirt collar in her mouth and brings her back above, turning back into her regular form.

Laura is clearly still shaken and gripping onto Carmilla’s sleeve, not speaking.

 

Two guards come running over. “Did she fall into the pit?” one demands.

Carmilla glares at them.  “Yes, and no one was around to do anything about it, so I pulled her out.”

The other guard kneels by Laura. “Are you okay?” he asks.

Laura stares back at him wide-eyed, tears welling up, and sniffles a bit before replying.  “I hurt my ankle,” she mumbles.

“We’ll call an ambulance,” one of the guards responds.

 

Carmilla holds Laura close to her. “That’d be nice,” she answers stiffly.

Laura whimpers and nuzzles her face into Carmilla’s sleeve.

The guards leave to call the incident in.

“Laura, can we come with you to the hospital?” Danny asks, gesturing to her and Kirsch.

Laura rubs some tears from her eyes and nods. “Yes, please.”

Carmilla picks Laura up and begins carrying her to the entrance, walking slow enough so the two others can keep up with her.

 

“It might be a while for the ambulance, cupcake,” Carmilla says, giving Laura a soft kiss on the cheek.  “Do you want me to teleport you?”

Laura shakes her head.  “I think there’d be less questions if we just use the ambulance.”

“Okay, cutie.”  They walk past a few exhibits they hadn’t visited earlier. “How about the Big Bear exhibit?”

“ _No_!” Laura buries her face into Carmilla’s shoulder.  “No bears!”

Carmilla tries to calm her down by rubbing her back gently but the girl begins squirming, so she stops and puts her down on a park bench.  “Hey, hey,” she says soothingly to the hyperventilating girl.  “No bears, I get it.”

Laura’s hiccupping and gasping for air. “Promise, Carm?”

Carmilla nods.  “I promise.”

Laura holds up her pinky.  “Swear?”

Carmilla looks down at the hand for a second before linking her pinky.  “I swear,” she says with as much seriousness as she can muster.

Laura opens her arms for a hug, which Carmilla leans into.

 

One of the guards from before waves at Carmilla to walk over and tells her the ambulance is on its way.  She grumbles a ‘thank you’ and turns to head back to Laura before bumping right into Danny.

“What is it?” Carmilla asks.

Danny wrings her hands nervously. “Her mother was killed by a bear,” she blurts out.  “I think.”

The vampire raises an eyebrow. “You think?”

The small redhead shrugs.  “She sorta mentioned it once when I asked her what’s with all the bear spray, but she never brought it up after that and she didn’t go into much detail.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I just thought you should know. Like, a trigger warning or something?”

Carmilla looks pensive for a moment. “Thanks, Princess Merida.”

Danny scrunches up her face and giggles. “You’ve seen _Brave_?”

“Laura made me watch it,” she replies, rolling her eyes.

“Oh.  Well, I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“You should,” the vampire comments as they head back towards Laura.  “And I’ll deny it with my last undead breath if you tell anyone other than Laura, but I’m sorry for scaring you at the park the other day.”

“Did you just apologize to me?” Danny teases before stopping short. “Laura knows you’re sorry?”

Carmilla scoffs and continues walking. “Let’s not make a thing of it, okay? It’s just that Laura’s already tiny, I don’t need her actually thinking I’m the monster under her bed or whatever.”

The girl runs to keep up with her and motions zipping her lips closed.  “Your secret is safe with me.”

 

Carmilla looks down and regards her short companion. “Have I mentioned I hate children?”

Danny beams up at her.  “I’ll also take that as a compliment.”

“Of course you would.”

They reach Laura, who’s currently laughing at some goofy face Kirsch is making at her.

 

Carmilla sits down and gently pats her knee. “Ambulance should be here soon.”

“Okay,” Laura says, leaning her head on Carmilla’s arm.

Danny sits down between Kirsch and Laura.

Laura eventually pulls away.  “Carm?”

“Hmm?”

“What happened in the pit?”

“What do you mean?” Carmilla frowns.

Laura chuckles lightly.  “It was like you and the lion were having a conversation…”

“Oh.” Carmilla snickers.  “I told him if he didn’t leave you alone, I would go back up there and tell the guards to give him all his steaks well-done instead of rare.”

Laura laughs.  “Did you really?”

Carmilla smiles and plants a small kiss in her hair. “I guess that lion was really picky about his food.”

Laura grins at Carmilla.

“What?”

“I told you that lion was you,” Laura teases.

“I’m not picky about my food,” Carmilla insists.

“Okay, _sure_.” Laura holds her pinky up and makes her voice deeper.  “I don’t drink O-positive or A-positive blood types,” she mimics.

 

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “They’re so _common_ ,” she snaps.

Danny and Kirsch start laughing and she cuts her eyes at them, too.

“Maman raised me better than that,” she adds with a scowl.

Laura joins in on the laughter. “Nice to know she had such high standards.”

Carmilla’s scowl slowly turns into a smile and she pulls Laura closer to her.  “Yup. Only the best for me.”

Kirsch makes a gagging sound and Carmilla glares at him.  “Watch it, munchkin.”

Danny motions to him to cut it out and he does, albeit reluctantly.

 

“Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for saving me from the lion,” Laura says.

Carmilla grins.  “The only big feline in your life should be me, buttercup.”

Kirsch makes the gagging noise again and Carmilla looks over at him again.  “Do you want them to have to send a second ambulance here?”

He shakes his head.

 

A disgruntled guard escorts LaFontaine and Perry to the group, the former looking proud while the latter looks positively aggravated.

“This is ridiculous,” Perry grumbles.

“Did you guys get into trouble?” Laura asks.

“Worse,” Perry replies miserably.

LaFontaine holds up something in their hands, beaming. “I get to keep Squeakers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for following along, guys!


	4. Compensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following the zoo debacle, Carmilla escorts Laura, Danny, and Kirsch to an ice cream parlor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's short, but I figured we didn't get much angst this week, so it seemed proportional ;)  
> I'll continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "#Carmilla Childcare" (at http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/). There's currently four (much longer) more chapters written that need to be edited!  
> Thank you so much for the awesome feedback!! You guys are amazing.

“Is Kirsch meeting us here?” Laura asks, looking down at her friends.

Carmilla is carrying her instead of using the wheelchair since “it’s heavier than you are, cupcake.”

Danny nods.  “He seemed really excited about getting free ice cream.”

“Well, I figured it’d be a nice way to pay you guys back for coming with me to the hospital,” Laura says.

“And what do I get out of this?” Carmilla quips.

Laura frowns.  “You don’t want ice cream?”

“They’re getting ice cream for coming with you to the hospital,” Carmilla explains.  “I’m also carrying you.  Don’t I get extra compensation?”

The small girl in her arms looks seriously pensive and scratches her head.  “I have some gum in my pocket if you want…?”

 

Carmilla gives an exasperated sigh. “I was teasing, cutie.”

“Oh.”  Laura sticks her tongue out.

“Do you want to walk the rest of the way?” Carmilla snaps playfully.

Laura shakes her head emphatically, pouting.

“Didn’t think so.”

 

The trio makes it to the ice cream shop and finds Kirsch already inside, his face pressed against the refrigerator glass.

“Just lick the damn glass, why don’t you,” Carmilla remarks dryly.

Kirsch pulls his face away and, with a defiant look, sticks his tongue out and licks the glass.

“EW!  Kirsch!!” Danny screams, flapping her hands and scrunching up her face in disgust.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and leans Laura over the glass so she can see the flavors.  “Where’s Darwinism when you need it?” she grumbles.

“I don’t know that flavor,” Kirsch says, causing Carmilla to roll her eyes again, “but I was thinking of rocky road.”

 

Laura has her thinking face on.

“Babe, you look super cute, but you’re gonna pop a blood vessel or something.”

The girl frowns and Carmilla smiles and kisses her cheek.

“I don’t know if I want… Chocolate, or vanilla, or strawberry…”

“Get a large cone and get all three,” the vampire suggests.

Laura’s frown grows.  “I only brought enough money for Danny and Kirsch’s ice cream, and a small cone for myself.”

“I’ll pay for it,” Carmilla replies.

“You will?”  Laura beams at her.

“No,” Carmilla deadpans.  “Now walk back by yourself and get the money.”

Laura pouts at her.

“Oh, God, not a pout,” Carmilla says, gently putting Laura down.  “Relax, cupcake, I’m ordering and paying for you.”

Laura’s grin comes back and she throws herself into a huge hug with Carmilla.  “Thankyouthankyouthankyou––”

Carmilla sighs and ignores her, giving the order to the employee, who’s smiling at the bubbly child clinging to her customer.

 

Suddenly, Carmilla feels someone tugging on her shirt and looks down.

“What is it?” she asks the tiny redhead.

“I-I… I, uhm…” Danny chews her lip nervously. “I can’t see the flavors.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow quizzically.

“I’m too short to see the flavors,” Danny mumbles.

The vampire snorts.  “You are a pathetic little gumdrop,” she retorts, but doesn’t hesitate to pick her up and hold her over the glass.

“Okay,” Danny says after a few moments. “I know what I want.”

Carmilla continues holding Danny up. “Well, don’t tell _me_ , tell the worker.”

“Oh.”  Danny peers over at the woman, who’s chuckling softly.  “A small cup of cherry vanilla, please.”

Carmilla lowers her back down to the ground and looks at Kirsch.  “How about you, glass-licker?”

“ROCKY ROAD, PLEASE,” he yells over the counter.

 

Carmilla holds her head and pays for their ice cream and the children grab a booth in the back of the ice cream parlor.

About five minutes pass with them quietly eating their ice cream before Laura whispers a horrified “oh _no_.”

Carmilla perks up.  “What is it?”

She looks over to see Laura frantically trying to lick around the cone, but her tiny tongue is no match for the large surface area of melting ice cream.  Even worse, she is tilting the cone and the tower of three massive scoops of ice cream threatens to topple over.

“Carmilla, help!” Laura whines, frantically trying to keep the entire thing from falling or disintegrating.

The vampire can’t fight the smile that makes its way onto her face or the small giggle that escapes from her mouth.

“Alright, hang on, cutie.”  She gently takes the cone from Laura’s hand. “You lick that side, okay?” She keeps the cone vertical as they manage to prevent the ice cream cone from melting and then hands it back to Laura.

“Thanks for helping me save it from total meltage,” Laura says, bopping up and down in her seat.

Carmilla smiles and hands her a napkin. “Yeah, now you’re just wearing the carnage, buttercup.”

 

“I can’t believe how sickening they are,” Danny whispers to Kirsch, not hiding her disgust.

“I can’t believe she’s gonna actually finish that large cone,” he whispers back.


	5. C is for Cookie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Laura's attempt to make breakfast for Carmilla leads to an argument, Carmilla calls on Laura's friends to make it up to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep... we got a whole lotta angst in today's episode!   
> Since this was fic originally supposed to be a one-shot, I hadn't really planned on how OOC Carmilla would seem after a few more chapters of this, so I thought it'd make sense to acknowledge that she isn't totally keen on the situation, she is willing to put up with it :)  
> Updates related to this fic are on my tumblr under "#Carmilla Childcare" (at http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/). There's currently three more chapters written that need to be edited.  
> The feedback you guys have been giving me is absolutely amazing <3 Love y'all!

Carmilla is vaguely aware that her tiny bedmate crawled out of bed at a time before sunrise, but couldn’t be bothered to fully wake up to track her movements.

That is, until there is a large crash in the kitchen followed by a slew of muttering that slowly increases in pitch.

With a huff, the vampire rolls off the bed and staggers towards the kitchen.

“Stupid dumb stubby five year old fingers,” the girl mutters, up to her knees in towel paper, furiously wiping at the mess around her.

“What the frilly hell are you doing?” Carmilla groans. “It’s barely 5am.”

Laura pouts and stretches over the sink to try to get a sponge, but it’s out of her reach.  “I was trying to make you breakfast.”

Carmilla growls and reaches over and grabs the sponge and basically throws it at Laura.  “Go back to bed,” she grumbles.

Laura looks vaguely hurt and pouts. “But I was going to make you blood sausages since they’re your favorite,” she says quietly.

The vampire holds the bridge of her nose and closes her eyes, sighing deeply.  “I don’t want blood sausages, cupcake.  I don’t want breakfast.  Go back to bed.”

 

Laura stands there and looks down at the sponge in her hands.  “But I don’t wanna.”

Carmilla slams her hand against the wall, causing the girl to jump.  “Laura, I’m getting tired of this.  Go to bed.”

Laura’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion. “Tired of what?”

“This,” Carmilla spits out, gesturing to all of Laura. “I’m tired of being surrounded by children all the time.  I thought you all acted like infants before, but it’s been two and a half weeks of drowning in immaturity and uselessness and babies asking me to lift them up to the heavens because they’re too vertically handicapped to survive––”

“––This hasn’t been easy on any of us, either, Carm!” Laura interrupts.  “You think any of us are _enjoying_ this?”

The vampire rolls her eyes.  “‘Oh, boo hoo, Kirsch can’t drink as much beer as he likes. Danny can’t get work done for grad school here.  LaFontaine can’t go to the lab to cut up Squeakers.  Perry can’t clean anything more than four feet off the ground.’  Yeah, you’re all _really_ suffering.”

Laura’s pout is in full force now as she throws the sponge to the ground and clenches her fists.  “‘Look at me, I’m Carmilla Karnstein, I’m irritated because I’m surrounded by people who need my help and it’s such an inconvenience.’ Well, guess what, Carm? Being helpless isn’t too great, either!”

She stomps her foot, and for a moment Carmilla is concerned Laura will irritate her ankle, which has just finished healing, but Laura doesn’t seem like she’s injured it.

“We’re all struggling with this just as much as you are!  But if you’re having such a rotten time, then just _leave_!”

Carmilla narrows her eyes and purses her lips. “Fine!”

“Fine!”

 

Carmilla storms out of their room and heads outside. She walks for a bit before she sees a bench and plops down on it, crossing her arms and glaring daggers across the quad.

She hears two pairs of rapidly approaching footsteps but doesn’t bother to look up.  They slow down as they get closer and finally stop next to her bench.

“Hey, Carm-sexy,” Kirsch greets. His running mate elbows him and he mumbles, “I mean, Carmilla.”

Danny sits down on the bench next to the sulking vampire and nudges her.  “Whatcha doing out here?”

Carmilla stares down the small redhead next to her and doesn’t answer.

“D-bear and I are out jogging. Just because we’re tiny doesn’t mean we can’t be fit, y’know?” Kirsch says with a goofy smile.

Danny gives him a look to shut up.

“Did you already have the breakfast Laura made you, or is she cooking it now?”

 

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “How do you know about that?  I thought it was spur-of-the-moment.”

“Nah,” Kirsch replies, kicking a rock aside. “The little bro hasn’t shut up about it for almost a week now.”

Danny nods.  “Yeah, I mean, she’s been wanting to do something special since you’ve been so patient with this whole ‘turning into kids thing’ and since it’s your anniversary--”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.

Danny stops talking for a second and her mouth forms a small “oh.”  “Did… Uhm, did you forget it was your anniversary?”

 

Carmilla buries her face in her hands.

“Oof, that’s rough, bro,” Kirsch says.

Danny elbows him again.

“What?”  He shrugs.  “I mean, Carm-se… Carmilla here forgot it’s the anniversary of the day she came back from the not-dead and they kissed for the first time.  Meanwhile, Laura’s been thinking about it for weeks and she woke up early to cook for her and here she is, just sitting on this bench, alone, and––” He ignores all the glares Danny’s shooting him and interrupts himself.  “––Wait.  Why _are_ you on this bench alone?”

“You’re an idiot, Kirsch,” Danny says with a sigh. “But yeah, why are you on this bench?”

“Because I’m also an idiot,” Carmilla replies with a sigh.  “Do you think you can text the other two gingers to help us with something?”

“‘Help us?’  What are we doing?” Danny asks, pulling out her cell phone.

“Helping me make all of this up to Laura,” Carmilla answers.  The two give her a skeptical look and she cuts her eyes at them.  “You guys owe me, too.  It’s not just Laura I’ve been putting up with these past few weeks.”

“This is true,” Danny nods, writing up a text. “What do you have in mind?”

 

* * *

 

A few hours have passed by the time Carmilla returns to the room alone.

Laura is lying curled up in her bed next to LaFontaine. One look at her face tells Carmilla that she’s been crying.

“Oh, hey,” the redhead greets the vampire. “We’ve just been watching some _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_.”

Laura remains silent and rubs at her puffy eyes.

“Right,” Carmilla says.  “And now you’re leaving.”

LaF pouts.  “But we’re on the episode where Buffy and Faith are arguing about the murder and Faith is about to save Bu––”

“ _You’re leaving,_ ” Carmilla says sharply.

“Fine,” they grumble.  “But I’m not waiting to finish this episode.” LaF takes their laptop and closes it, promptly leaving the room.

 

Laura’s still sitting on her bed but at her friend’s departure, takes the pillow from resting against the headboard and lies it back down.  She puts her head on it and faces away from Carmilla in a huff.

The vampire sighs and sits on the edge of the bed. “Cupcake,” she says softly.

Laura doesn’t reply.

“Cupcake, what are you doing?” she asks, unable to keep the amusement from her voice.

“I’m napping,” Laura replies seriously.

“Oh, are you?”

“Well, I _would_ be, if some big grumpy vampire wasn’t _bothering_ me.”

Carmilla sighs again and attempts to think of something to say when she hears the small girl beside her sniffle.

 

“Laura,” she tries again, gently.

“I’m _not_ crying,” Laura insists sharply.  “I-It’s just…  It’s allergies, or something.”

“Right,” Carmilla replies, doing her best to keep sarcasm out of it, “well.  Since I’m the big grumpy vampire bothering you, I was wondering if we could talk about earlier?”

Laura sits up, exasperated, and crosses her arms with a pout.  “What about it?”

Carmilla takes a deep breath. “Look, I’m not a morning person. We all know that. But you were trying to do a really sweet thing for me, and I ruined it.  And on top of that, I forgot that it’s our anniversary.”

Laura’s unfolded her arms, so Carmilla takes the child’s small hands in hers.

“It didn’t even hit me when you were trying to make me blood sausages, which is ridiculous because that’s what you’ve done the past couple years.  I was forgetful.”

She tenderly tucks a loose strand of hair behind Laura’s ear.

“I’ve been getting frustrated with this whole situation and I forgot that it’s probably worse to who it’s actually happening to. It’s just that none of you are complaining, so I didn’t realize it.  And it was wrong for me to take out those frustrations on you.”

Carmilla pauses and looks at Laura expectantly.

“Can you forgive me?”

Laura’s pout is gone now, replaced with a neutral expression, which slowly grows into an all-out grin. “Of course, silly.”

 

Laura lets go of Carmilla’s hands and bounces into her chest, wrapping her arms around the vampire for a tight embrace. Carmilla melts into it and hugs Laura back, nuzzling her face into her hair.

“Thank you, cutie.”

“That was a pretty good apology, Carm,” Laura giggles. “A solid ten out of ten.”

Carmilla chuckles and pulls back. “It better be. Danny helped out with it.”

Laura’s mouth drops open and she laughs. “Danny helped you?”

Carmilla nods.  “Yup.  There were note cards involved and everything.”  She gives Laura a small peck on the cheek before standing and walking to the door.

 

She opens it, and wheels in a small table. On the table is a large frosted mound, with a very familiar blue structure on top.

“Oh, gosh, Carm, is that…?”  Laura hops off the bed and stares at the sight before her with a childlike wonder.

“It’s an upside-down bowl made of chocolate chip cookie dough with white frosting on top, with a TARDIS made of sugar cookies.”

Laura’s eyes widen as she stands there, speechless.

“Lift up the TARDIS, babe,” Carmilla whispers.

The girl tries but after a few failed attempts, she frowns.  “I can’t.”

 

Carmilla grins and lifts it up and an elongated rectangular prism lists beyond the top of the chocolate chip mound. “It’s bigger on the inside,” she says.

Laura starts squealing and bouncing up and down, babbling incoherently.

The vampire laughs and puts the entire cookie structure back.  “Do you like it? Perry did most of the baking. Kirsch was also supposed to help, but he kept trying to eat most of the batter.”  Laura still hasn’t calmed down yet, so Carmilla stands by patiently.

“But, uh… I came up with the idea.”

Laura throws herself at the vampire and squeezes her. “This is amazing,” she beams. “Happy anniversary, Carm.”

Carmilla smiles and kisses the top of her head. “Happy anniversary, cupcake.”

 

Laura pulls away to go back to marveling at her gift, still bouncing in place.

Carmilla sighs.

Laura looks back at her.  “What?”

“I’m really going to regret giving a five year old all this sugar, aren’t I?”


	6. The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla catches up with Laura & co. at the aquarium and the pair head to a museum, where things don't go as well as they hope. Fortunately, Laura's got a handle on situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, that was a doozy of an ep, huh? In my continued attempt to keep morale up, here's another chapter! It's a little less fluffy than some of the earlier chapters, but I think I wrote it when I was more focused on giving some more backstory on Carmilla and Laura.  
> Either way, I hope you enjoy it! <3

“I hope you don’t, get pushed into one of the shark tanks, Laur,” LaF teases.

Danny whimpers.  “I hope she doesn’t!”

Laura laughs and shakes her head. “I’m not getting near any fights today,” she replies.  “My ankle still hurts a little.”

 “At least things are harder to steal at the aquarium than at the zoo,” Perry says pointedly, looking at LaFontaine.

“Is that a challenge?” LaF asks, raising an eyebrow.

“LaFont _aine_ , don’t you dare!”

Kirsch has his face pressed up against the glass of one of the exhibits.

“You’re not going to lick _this_ glass, too, are you?” Laura jokes.

He pulls away and gives her the same defiant look as he had in the ice cream parlor before Danny clamps her hand over his mouth. “Nooooo, stop,” she whines.

He seems resigned and she removes her hand.

“The things I do for you,” she grumbles as he beams at her.

 

Arms suddenly sweep Laura of the ground and she squeaks before they place her back down.  She turns around and grins up at Carmilla.

“I told you that you didn’t have to come,” Laura insists.

She shrugs.  “I couldn’t sleep without you there.”  The ticket she had to buy to get in gives her away as Carmilla aims for flippancy but falls short, and Kirsch and LaFontaine are snickering, so she just rolls her eyes and gently leads Laura away.

“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t come with us. There were some kids from the glee club on the bus and they kept singing “Wheels On The Bus.”

“They’re not here, are they?” Carmilla makes a disgusted face.  Laura giggles and shakes her head.

 

Danny walks over to Laura and pulls her into a tight hug.  “The tug o’ war is starting soon, so Kirsch and I should be leaving,” she says.  Laura hugs her back and gives Kirsch a wave.

“We are so going to kick the Summers’ butts,” Kirsch taunts.

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Are _not_!”

“Are _too_!”

“R2D2!” LaFontaine calls out at them, forcing Perry to groan and bury her face in her hands.

 

“Thanks for not being like them, cupcake,” Carmilla whispers to Laura with a smile.

“Well, I would have a super grumpy vampire on my hands if I was like them,” Laura says with a grin.  “Joking,” she quickly amends.  “You’re the most patient vampire ever!”  She squeezes Carmilla.

“And you’re ever the charmer,” Carmilla replies, burying a kiss in her hair.

 

“Oh, shoot!” LaF yells nearby.

“What?” Perry asks.

“We forgot to feed Squeakers before we left!”

“Oh, LaFontaine, I’m sure she––”

“–– _He_ ––”

Perry sighs.  “I’m sure _he_ is fine.”

LaF pouts.  “But what if he gets hungry?  It already looked like that other mice in the exhibit were stealing its food, and you remember how that big kid stole my lunch throughout elementary school? I don’t want that for Squeakers, and––”

“––Alright, alright,” Perry sighs, dragging her best friend over to where Carmilla and Laura are standing.  “Carmilla, will you please teleport us back to the apartment? LaFontaine is worried their potentially bullied mouse is lacking food.”

Carmilla blinks at the redheads. “I swear, you two get more and more bizarre as time goes on.”

Laura grabs Carmilla’s hand.  “I’m done here, anyway.”

“How about, after we drop them off, we go to the museum?” Carmilla asks.

Laura beams up at her and nods emphatically. “Yes, let’s do that!”

Carmilla smiles and teleports herself and the three children back to the apartment building.

LaFontaine bolts down the hall, with Perry following and shouting her gratitude back at the vampire.

 

Carmilla and Laura teleport into an alley a block from the museum and enter.

“At least I get in for free,” Laura says. “So this whole, ‘being a child’ thing has its perks.”

“Oh, please,” Carmilla retorts, “you barely passed for an adult before.”

Laura pouts.  “Meanie.”

Carmilla laughs.

 

The first exhibit they wander into is an early Asian culture one, which they spend about ten minutes in, before continuing through the rest of the Asian area, which leads right into Europe’s. “How about we start in Western Europe and then circle around to Eastern Europe?” Laura asks. “That way you can spend more time in the latter.”

Carmilla smiles down at her.  “Sounds good to me, cutie.”

They wander around the Western Europe area for half an hour before entering the Eastern Europe one.  The museum is pretty empty.  They haven’t bumped into anyone in any of the exhibits, yet.

Laura lets Carmilla’s hand go as soon as they enter and heads towards the large figures of prehistoric people. “Whoa,” she breathes out. “They look so real. I wonder what they’re made of.”

Carmilla smirks and stands next to the small girl. “Didn’t you know, babe? They’re made of patches of aged human skin, like leather.”

Laura whimpers next to her.  “R-Really?”

“Yes,” Carmilla deadpans.  “And doesn’t it look like those eyes are real? I mean, they kinda move with you when you do, like they’re watching you…”

Laura covers her face and buries it into the vampire’s stomach. “Are they still watching me?” she asks, muffled.

Carmilla laughs.  “I’m just messing with you, hon.”

Laura pulls away and scowls up at her. She crosses her arms and huffs. “Carm,” she begins calmly, “we’ve already–– ESTABLISHED THAT YOU’RE A MEANIE, _OKAY_? You don’t have to _keep_ being mean!” And with that, the small girl storms away.

“Oh, sweetie, I was just teasing you.” Carmilla rolls her eyes with a smile and starts to follow after her.

 

An exhibit catches her attention and she stops short.

It’s a large room that’s a replica of a ballroom, true to scale.  While she knows it isn’t like the one she had in her own home, there are striking resemblances. They don’t make ballrooms like this anymore and seeing one evokes something within her.

She isn’t sure if it’s an overwhelming sense of nostalgia, or longing, but she stands captivated.  Images of her waltzing around her home flash through her mind. Memories of being forced to dance with suitors, only for her to reject them and dance with her girl friends instead, come rushing and she braces herself against a wall.

 

She doesn’t know how much time has passed when she finally snaps out of it.  She looks around for Laura, because that small ball of sunshine is exactly what she needs right now–– except she’s nowhere to be found.

“Laura?”  Carmilla’s voice cracks, and she wipes at her face and realizes she’s been crying. She sniffles and clears her throat. “Laura?  Where are you?”

She checks around the rest of the area, but the girl doesn’t seem to still be in the exhibit.  She pulls out her phone to call her, but of course there’s no reception.

Carmilla gives an exasperated sigh and pockets her phone.  She goes back and does a second round through both European exhibits, before continuing through.

Her earlier emotional moment seems to have left her vulnerable for fits of panic, because now she’s starting to worry. _What if someone kidnapped Laura?  What if it wasn’t just a human kidnapper?  What if a vampire hunter is making their move now?  What if Laura wandered into an exhibit and got hurt?_

 

As her hysteria starts to take hold, Carmilla turns a corner and is relieved to see a familiar small figure sitting down under a large dinosaur exhibit.  The small girl waves as the vampire rushes towards her.

“Hey, Carm,” Laura greets brightly. “What do you think these dinosaurs are made of?  Real bones? Do you think they’re glued in place? Like if I push on this one, would the whole thing collapse on top of me––”

The vampire wraps her arms around her and squeezes her tightly.

“––Oof!”  Laura instinctively hugs back for a few seconds, but then her eyebrows furrow in confusion.  “Carm? Is everything okay?”

“Mmhmm,” Carmilla says, not letting go.

“Okay,” Laura says slowly.  “That’s great.  Mind letting me go?  Oxygen is starting to… become a concern…”

Carmilla releases her and gives her a watery smile.

“Carm…”  Laura nudges her and gestures for her to sit down where she was sitting so they can be on a closer eye-level.  The girl rests her hands on Carmilla’s shoulders and looks on worriedly. “You look like you’ve been crying. What’s up?”

 

Carmilla doesn’t answer.

“Carm, I saw you staring at that replica of the ballroom.  Was it that?”

The vampire gives a small nod and pulls Laura closer, nuzzling her face into her stomach.  “I’m not sure what happened, but then afterwards I didn’t know where you went, and I got so worried.”

“I’m fine, Carm.”  Laura pats Carmilla’s head.  “Maybe we should go home?”

Carmilla smiles and pulls away. “No way, cupcake. We’ve barely been here an hour and a half.  Leaving a museum before two hours is like, a crime, or something.”

The small girls kisses her forehead. “Are you sure?”

Carmilla nods and points at a door. “Let’s try that one next.”

 

They enter the room and Carmilla feels apprehensive.

“Wow,” Laura notes.  “Must be some kind of experimental exhibit, or something.”

A sign reads, “The History of Film and Photography,” and the various technological advances through the decades fill the room. There’s a mounting camera and rotating camera, marked as “Do Not Touch,” examples of double exposure, reverse motion, and different methods to develop film.  As such, the exhibit was kept very dark.

Laura walks into the next room of the exhibit, and Carmilla tentatively follows her in, before realizing it was a complete mistake.

 

“I need to get out of here,” she whispers.

“Huh?”  Laura turns around.  Her eyes widen. “Carm, are you okay?”

The room is an example of a modern film developing room, and feels cramped and claustrophobic.  A red hue covers the room, which is otherwise dark.

“I need to get out of here,” Carmilla says louder. She whirls around and knocks something large over, and the wedge holding the door open slides out, leaving the door to slam closed.  Carmilla jumps from the sound and a nearby ladder falls over, blocking the door.

“ _I need to get out of here._ ”

Carmilla lets out a string of obscenities and backs up, hitting a table meant to place pictures after development.

 

“Okay, Carm, let’s just stay calm,” Laura says nervously. “Just, uhm, keep focusing on breathing.”

“I don’t need to breathe,” Carmilla growls, feeling herself start to shake.

“I know that,” Laura says gently, “but you do sometimes, and right now it’ll be something to help calm you down. Just, breathe with me, okay?”

Laura inhales and counts up to four on her fingers, then waits four more seconds, and then exhales slowly for four seconds. She counts up to another four on her fingers before inhaling again.

“Come on, Carm, do it with me,” she instructs softly.

Carmilla is shaking badly now, but tries her best.

“In, 2, 3, 4… Hold, 2, 3, 4… Out, 2, 3, 4… Hold, 2, 3, 4…” Laura counts slowly, breathing with the vampire.

Carmilla closes her eyes and continues breathing while Laura counts.

 

She loses track of time but eventually the shaking stops and she starts to open her eyes.

“Wait, don’t do it yet!” Laura yells out. “Just… keep breathing and ignore everything else.”

Carmilla hears some clattering and rustling but does her best to tune it out.

After a few moments, the noise stops. “I’m going to take your hand and then you can open your eyes, okay?”

Carmilla nods.  Laura grabs her hand and Carmilla’s eyes flutter open. Laura has managed to move the ladder away and wedged the door open.  The smaller girl leads the vampire outside and they reach a hallway, where Carmilla collapses on the stairs.

 

Laura quietly sits next to her and places her hand on her knee, squeezing gently.

“Where did you learn that?” Carmilla finally asks quietly.

“Learn what?  Opening a door?”

Carmilla turns to call her oblivious, but realizes Laura is teasing.

“It’s called square breathing,” Laura replies seriously. She shifts uncomfortably. “I had really bad anxiety after my mom got attacked and killed, and my dad was trying to find ways to help with it. This was one of the things that helped.” She leans her head on Carmilla’s shoulder.

“Remind me to thank your dad,” Carmilla says after a few seconds.

Laura laughs.

 

“Well, I think we can cut out of the museum before the two hour mark,” Carmilla remarks, standing up.

“Why don’t we go back to the aquarium?” Laura suggests. “You didn’t really get your money’s worth with your ticket.”

“Gee, buttercup, me going from one dark, cramped environment, to a dim, claustrophobic, _underwater_ one?  Sounds like a swell idea.”

The small girl rolls her eyes with a grin. “That’s not what I had in mind,” she insists.  “Just teleport us back there?  By the main entrance?”

 

Carmilla relents.  They leave the museum and return to the aquarium.

Laura grabs her hand and drags her through a few tanks and pools, before they stop at one outdoors.

“Sweetie, what are––”

Laura shushes her and points.

There are two otters drifting in a large pool, asleep. They are holding hands.

“I saw them earlier,” Laura explains quietly. She beams up at the vampire and squeezes her hand.  “It’s us!”

Carmilla tries to think of some sarcastic or witty comment, but all she can think of right now is how much she loves the little excited girl next to her.

“It’s an even better comparison if you consider the fact that they’ve been asleep this whole time,” Laura adds with a wink, and Carmilla laughs.  “It’s called a raft. They do it so they don’t lose each other while they’re sleeping.”

Carmilla buries a kiss in Laura’s hair and she giggles.

“Thank you so much, creampuff,” she whispers.

“You’re welcome.”  Laura glances up and swings their linked hands back and forth. “You feeling better?”

“Much better,” the vampire answers.

 

Suddenly, a group of kids run by, chanting,

“ _The wheels on the bus go round and round… Round and round, round and round… The wheels on the bus go round and round… All through the town_.”

“Oh no,” Laura whimpers.  “The glee kids.”

“Time for us to go,” Carmilla says without hesitation, teleporting them out.

 

Reappearing in their room after the eventful day, they fall asleep almost immediately, holding hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I just finished a monster of a 22-chapter fic, which means I can go back to focusing on producing some more fluff for this fic!! You guys have been awesome :)  
> I'll continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "#Carmilla Childcare" (at http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/).


	7. The Attachment Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura have the apartment to themselves and decide to settle in for a movie night. When Laura accidentally upsets Carmilla, she tries to make it right. Fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That episode was quite a doozy, hmm?  
> This is probably one of the fluffiest chapters as of late, and it's only got Carmilla and Laura in it! It also touches on how Carmilla's been as good with kids as she's been (a headcanon that this fic was built on) in order to not seem totally OOC.  
> Plus I totally wrote it while eating popcorn.

Carmilla yawns while Laura does the dishes and excitedly brainstorms aloud things they can do with their day.

“Oh, I know!” Laura says.  “We could watch a movie!”

Carmilla smiles and rises from the couch. “What did you have in mind, cutie?”

Laura bounces on the couch.  “I dunno.”  She grins and points at Carmilla.  “ _You pick!_ ”

Carmilla feigns extreme shock, grabbing her chest. “Me?  _I_ get to pick? Here I thought I was doomed to an eternity of _Doctor Who_ marathons, only to be interrupted with the occasional _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ or _Veronica Mars_ marathon.”

Laura laughs and throws a pillow at her, but Carmilla catches it.

“Golly, babe, what ever should I do with this newfound power?”  She sits down and smushes the pillow into the smaller girl’s face playfully.

 

“Have you had experience with kids?” Laura asks suddenly, taking the vampire aback.  She notices this and giggles nervously.  “It’s just…  you’ve been so patient with all of this.  And you’re fun.” Her eyes widen. “N-Not that you weren’t fun before…”

Carmilla recovers and chuckles. “I get it, I get it, munchkin. Don’t have an aneurism.”

Laura pouts and snuggles up against the vampire.

Carmilla takes a deep breath. “Sometimes, back during Ell’s time, the marks would have younger siblings.  I would play with them to get in better with the families and make it easier to slip into their lives.”

Laura snuggles closer.  “But didn’t that mean it was also harder to slip out of their lives?”

“Yeah, it did.”  Carmilla gives a dry laugh.  “But I tried my best to treat them like my marks, you know? Not get attached.”

The smaller girl recognizes the shift and pulls herself away.  “I-I’m sorry, I made you sad.”

“It’s fine,” Carmilla says sincerely, reaching out to Laura.

“No, it’s not,” Laura pouts.  She climbs off the couch and toddles off into their bedroom.

Carmilla waits a few seconds before getting off the couch and heads towards the bedroom.  “Honey, what are you––”

 

Laura bursts out and closes the door, blocking it with her tiny body.

“Well, clearly this is an impassable obstacle,” Carmilla comments sarcastically, gesturing to the tiny child before her.

“Back to the couch, you,” Laura huffs and crosses her arms.

“My, my, very demanding, aren’t we?”

“Thaaaaaat’s right,” Laura says, stomping her foot. “I am protecting this surprise with my very life.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Well, we can’t have you losing your life, can we?”

The vampire pivots and returns to the couch, smiling as she hears their bedroom door close behind her.  She peruses their movie collection while she waits for her company to return.

 

After a few minutes, the door reopens and Laura runs out, holding something behind her back.

Carmilla looks at her expectantly.

The small girl bites her lip and holds out a piece of paper to the vampire, who takes it.

“Sorry it looks so crappy,” Laura says, puffing out her cheeks.  “I’m still not completely used to my hands being so tiny, and I wanted to rush it so you wouldn’t be out here brooding as long––”

“––I wasn’t _brooding_ ,” Carmilla replies sharply.  Laura pouts at being snapped at, and Carmilla’s scowl turns into a grin. “I’m just teasing, hon. Relax.”

“Right.  Right, yeah.”  Laura lets out a breath. “Just look at the paper, already!”

Carmilla rolls her eyes but looks down at the paper and sees two slightly detailed stick figures holding hands. The shorter of the two has light brown hair, a light purple dress, and is all smiles.  The taller stick figure is dressed entirely in black, has curly dark brown hair and has two cartoonish fangs protruding her from lips, and a neutral face, other than two hearts for eyes.

There’s a hastily colored-in night sky filled with stars and the two stick figures are on a hill.  In the background is a blanket, accompanied by a crudely drawn champagne bottle.

 

“It’s us!” Laura declares, beaming up at the vampire.

“I can see that,” Carmilla replies gently, still staring at the drawing.

Laura pokes the back of the paper at the spot where her stick figure is standing.  “That’s me,” she continues, “holding your hand.”

Carmilla swallows hard.  “I can also see that.”

“Coz you said you couldn’t get attached to any kids before.  But _I’m_ attached to you,” Laura continues, poking the paper for emphasis.

Carmilla doesn’t speak for several seconds and Laura’s arm slowly drops back to her side.

 

When the vampire continues staring down at the paper, Laura quietly sits down on the couch.

“Wow, this was stupid, I’m sorry,” she says, running her hand through her hair.  “That was probably a total waste of your time waiting for that, right? I just thought it’d be a nice way to show you that your days of slipping in and out of people’s lives are over, y’know?”

“Laura…”

“I made one for my dad after my mom died and he put it up on the fridge and, I mean, I wasn’t expecting you to do the same, but you’re as important to me as my dad, so I just thought––”

“ _Laura_ ––”

“––it’d be cool for you to have one too, especially since my art skills haven’t really improved since, but now I see it was dumb and you can just throw it out or use the back for scrap work––”

“ _LAURA!_ ”

 

The small girl jumps and giggles nervously. “Yeah?”

“I love it,” Carmilla says softly.

“Oh.”  Laura watches as the vampire sits on the couch next to her and leans her head on Carmilla’s shoulder.  A few seconds pass before Laura pulls away.  “Carm, are… A-are you crying?”

The vampire sniffles and nods.

“I-Is it because I got the constellations wrong?” Laura pats Carmilla’s knee. “Because, uhm, I wasn’t really trying, but if you want me to fix them––”

“No, you dope,” Carmilla interrupts with half-sob, half-laugh.  She gives the girl a watery smile.  “God, you can be so _dense_ sometimes.”

Laura crosses her arms and huffs. “Really laying the love on thick here, Carm.”

Carmilla lets out another small laugh and pulls the small girl over to her.

 

“I’m crying because I’m touched. And because this drawing is so adorably you.”  She kisses Laura on the forehead.  “This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

“Oh.”  Laura snuggles into Carmilla side.  “Sorry, I think this whole ‘being a child thing’ makes me a little slower on the uptake,” she says.  “Which, according to you, I was already pretty slow at to begin with.”

The vampire squeezes her.  “It’s part of your charm,” she replies with a smirk.

Laura giggles and nuzzles her face against Carmilla.

“Laura,” Carmilla says gently. “I will always be grateful to you for accepting me–– all of me–– and making me feel like I belong…” She swallows hard. “Like I’m home.”

 

The small girl stares up at her with her mouth slightly dropped open, as if she wasn’t expecting the sudden honesty.

“Close your mouth, cupcake.  You’re letting in the bats.”  Carmilla winks and Laura giggles.

The vampire rises from the couch and walks to the couch.  Laura follows and gasps excitedly.  “Are we putting it on the fridge?”

Carmilla smiles and nods, putting the paper down to rummage through the drawers.

“Whacha lookin’ for?” Laura asks.

“Tape.”

 

Laura huffs and takes the paper off the counter and wanders over to the fridge.  “Carm, you don’t use tape, or it could melt onto the fridge.  You use a magnet!”  She swipes an extra magnet holding up a calendar and places it over her drawing.

Carmilla snorts and Laura looks up at her, confused.

“Cupcake, no one’s gonna see it down there,” she points out gently.

Laura looks at her drawing, slightly less than three feet off the ground.  “Oh.” She gives a sheepish grin and she removes the magnet, handing it and the paper to Carmilla, who places it at a higher position.

 

Laura peeks out the window near the fridge. “It’s raining,” she says. A loud boom echoes through the apartment.  “And thundering,” she adds.

“That’ll go great with the movie I picked, cutie.” She reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a small wrapped package.  “How about you make us some popcorn and I’ll get it started?”

“Okay!”  Laura grabs it and pops it into the microwave while Carmilla wanders over to the TV to begin the movie.

A couple minutes pass by while the popping slows down and the vampire hears Laura stop the microwave.

“Be careful not to burn your––”

“––Ouch!”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and wanders over to the kitchen area.

Laura grins up guiltily.  “I, uh…  The popcorn’s ready.”

Carmilla smirks and removes the bag from the microwave. She opens the bag to let the steam out.

 

“What movie did you pick?” Laura asks, as another crash of thunder reverberates through the apartment.

“ _Underworld_ ,” Carmilla replies.

Laura laughs and Carmilla shoots her a look.

“What?”

“You’re always complaining I’m picking a vampire-themed show or movie, but when it’s your turn, you pick a vampire movie!” Laura sticks her tongue out.

Carmilla grabs the tongue with her fingers and gently pinches it.  “My choice has absolutely nothing to do with my current state of being undead, you insufferable poptart.” She lets the tongue go. “It has everything to do with the fact that Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous.”

Laura scowls at her.  “I’m sure the leather doesn’t hurt, either.” She reaches up for the bag. “Now gimme the popcorn!”

 

Carmilla smirks.  “Now, now, where are your manners?”  She purposely holds the bag up higher.

Laura leaps for the popcorn and misses.

“Please give me the popcorn, Carm,” Laura grunts.

Carmilla lowers it and lifts it just as the small girl jumps again, just for her fingers to brush the bottom of the bag. “Too late, this is way too much fun.”

The vampire is cackling but won’t relent. Laura continues her attempts and pouts–– before suddenly getting an idea.

There’s a mischievous glint in her eye.

“What, cutie?”

Laura takes a deep breath.

 

“ _The wheels on the bus go round and round… Round and round, round and round… The wheels on the bus go round and round… All through the town,_ ” she sings.

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Nice try.”

“ _The wipers on the bus go "Swish, swish, swish… Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish"… The wipers on the bus go "Swish, swish, swish"… All through the town!_ ”

“Not gonna work.”

“ _The door on the bus goes open and shut… Open and shut, open and shut… The door on the bus goes open and shut… All through the town!_ ”

“Cupcake…”

“ _The horn on the bus goes "Beep, beep, beep … Beep, beep––_ ”

“Oh my god, this is Hell,” Carmilla groans, lowering the bag.  “I’m in Hell.”

Laura lets out a triumphant cry and snatches it, darting off to the couch happily.

 

“Come on, slowpoke,” Laura calls.

Carmilla groans again.  She walks over to the couch and looks at the small girl that’s already made herself comfortable in her seat.

“What?” Laura asks, smiling.

Carmilla pivots and purposely sits on the small girl, who starts squealing.

“Carm, get your big butt off me!” Laura grunts, pushing at the vampire. “You’re going to squish me and then I’m going to be _dead_.”

“At least then I’ll get the popcorn,” Carmilla comments, not budging.  “Then again, if you die, no one will buy the cupcakes…”

Laura lets out an exaggerated gasp. “ _You only like me for my cupcakes!_ ” she accuses sharply, before bursting out in a fit of giggles.

Carmilla rolls off Laura and into the seat next to her. “Yup, you’ve figured me out, Hollis. In my entire existence, the only thing I really felt like I was lacking was cupcakes.”

 

Lightning flashes through the apartment, accompanied by another loud crash of thunder.

Laura squeaks and huddles against the vampire. “C-Can we start the movie?”

Carmilla smiles, pulls the girl closer, and starts the film.  The opening scene shows Selene, the vampire warrior, perched on a building in a bleak rainstorm.

“You know how before I said that in my entire existence, the only thing I really felt like I was lacking was cupcakes?” Carmilla asks quietly.  She feels Laura nod next to her.  “That was a lie.”

“Well, _duh_.” Laura giggles. “Give me a little more credit than that, Carmilla Karnstein.”

Carmilla chuckles softly.  “Well, the only thing I really felt like I was lacking was…” She swallows hard but doesn’t finish the sentence.

Laura pokes Carmilla’s arm.  “‘Was,’ what?”

Before she can answer, a shootout scene begins in a subway station, and the noise distracts Laura from pressing further.

 

Thunder continues outside of their apartment and Laura wraps her arms around Carmilla, handing her the popcorn bag so she can get a better grip on the vampire.

“Open your mouth, babe,” Carmilla orders gently. Laura does as asked and Carmilla tosses some popcorn in.

“Thanks, Carm,” Laura says, mouth full.

Carmilla chuckles.  “No, thank you.”

“For what?”

“For attaching yourself to me.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Underworld was my favorite movie for a solid ten years and it seemed a shame that I hadn't mentioned it in any of my fics, yet)


	8. Video Games and Bee Do Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and the gang are playing video games when her father calls. Carmilla has a hidden agenda for plans with Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update after Thursgay! The ep didn't feel too angsty to me, though... And I was dealing with non-fluffy things in my life, so I didn't want to edit in the wrong mindset and wind up doing something like taking out fluff and adding angst.  
> But we got some angst in today's ep so... <3 stay strong, creampuffs!

“Stupid… colorful… _ROAD_!” Laura screams, falling off the video game’s racing track for the umpteenth time.

“Oh boy, Laur’s about to get so mad she’ll leak cream filling,” LaFontaine teases, entering their final lap.

“Did you pick _Mario Kart_ just so you could make me angry?” Laura snaps, turning her Wii mote like her life depended on it.

LaF stifles their laughter, watching Laura’s character fall off the track again.  “Maybe.”

Perry sits next to them, poring over the stack of games available in the Zeta house.

“LaFontaine, be nice,” she scolds absentmindedly, more out of habit than anything.

LaF completes their last lap and their eyebrows shoot up.  “Wait, I came in second? Who came in first?”

Danny waves their GameCube controller proudly in the air.  “Maybe if you left Laura alone,” she teases.

“Damn, Lawrence,” LaFontaine runs their hand through their hair, “no one’s ever beat me before.”

Perry makes a sound of discovery. “I want to play _Smash Bros_ next,” she declares.

“Of course you do,” LaF replies with a smile. “You might have to wait for a while, though.  Laura’s competing with a computer for last place.”

Laura sticks her tongue out but frowns as she comes in twelfth place.

“It’s coz I picked the green plumber,” she scowls.

“Sure, Hollis,” LaF comments. “ _Sure._ ”

 

Laura’s phone rings and her eyes widen when she sees who it is.  “Crap, it’s my dad.”

“Have you spoken to him since we went all _Rugrats_?” Danny asks.

“No, he’s been away on business,” Laura replies, biting her lip.  “ _Crap_.”

She starts to leave the room and hesitantly answers the call.

“She’s probably grateful that way she won’t get her ass kicked in _Smash_ ,” LaF teases, earning a glare from Laura on the way out.

“ _Language_ , LaFontaine,” Perry snaps, changing the games.

They roll their eyes.  “Ass, ass, ASS, ass, _ass_ ,” they chant.

“LaFon––”

“ASS, ASS, _ass_ , ass…”

“Why did Laura leave me in here alone?” Danny laments in the corner.

  

* * *

 

 

“Hey, dad,” Laura says into the receiver, trying to deepen her voice as much as possible.

“Laura?  Are you okay?”

“I–– uhh…”  Laura bangs her head against the wall in frustration.  She was never great at lying to her father. “Yeah, fine.  Why?”

“You sound like you have a sore throat,” he answers. “Did you catch a cold?”

Laura shakes her head.

“Laura, are you shaking your head?”

Laura hits her head against the wall again. “Yes.”

“Yes, you were shaking your head, or yes, you caught a cold?”

 _Holy fish sticks_. “Uhm, both?”

“Are you asking me, or telling me?”

 

“Shoot him, _shoot him_!” Theo’s yells echo from inside the room Laura is standing outside of and her eyes widen.

“I’m trying, but I think I’ll just melee him!” Kirsch screams back.

“What was that?” her father demands.

“I-It’s just…  I’m with friends and they’re playing video games,” Laura replies. Except now she’s panicking, and she forgot to deepen her voice.

“But why did it sound like children screaming? And what’s wrong with your voice now?” he asks.  “You sound like you did when you were five.”

“M-M-My voice?  It…  I… Uhm…”

 

Laura suddenly feels the phone being snatched from her hand and looks up to see Carmilla.

“Hello, Mr. Hollis,” Carmilla greets smoothly, winking down at her.  She lets out a chuckle. “Right, sorry. Hello, _Brian_.”

Laura strains to hear her father’s side of the conversation, but it is to no avail.

“Oh, no, that wasn’t Laura.  We’re helping baby-sit some friends’ young cousins and one of them thought it would be funny to pick up the phone and pretend they were her. … Oh, did it really sound like Laura at that age?  That must’ve been precious. … Yep, there are a lot of screaming kids here.  Bet you don’t miss that, huh? … Yes, yes, she’s fine, she just can’t come to the phone at the moment, but I’ll be sure to have her call you either later today or tomorrow, okay? … Sounds great, Brian.  Talk to you soon!”

She hangs up and hands the phone back to Laura.

 

“At least I’ll never have to worry about you lying to me, cutie,” Carmilla teases, giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Darn my honest soul,” Laura pouts.

Carmilla laughs and leans against the wall.

“Maybe I should be worried about _you_ lying to _me_ ,” Laura says suddenly, side-eyeing her playfully.

Laura pokes Carmilla’s side, as if suspecting her of something, and the vampire fights the urge to laugh.

The little girl’s eyes widen. “Oh, my god, Carm,” she gasps. “Are you… _ticklish_?”

“No,” Carmilla answers a little too quickly.

 

“You’re ticklish!” Laura yells.

“Who’s ticklish?” a voice from inside the room asks. Kirsch pokes his head out, joined soon by Theo.

“No one,” Carmilla growls.

“That means it’s her,” Theo whispers to Kirsch, who nods in agreement.

“What’s happening?” Danny asks, walking out of the other room.

“Carmilla’s ticklish,” Kirsch sneers.

Carmilla takes a threatening step towards the boys, who gulp.  “I am not!”

 

LaFontaine struts into the hallway without a word and looks up at the vampire.

The group is silent as they stare at LaF, who shares a look with Danny.

“Only one way to find out,” LaF finally says, followed immediately with them and Danny poking the vampire’s side.

Kirsch and Theo let out a whoop and go after the vampire as well, poking at her stomach and sides.

“Cut it out,” Carmilla snaps, squirming.

“The big ol’ vampire is _ticklish,_ ” Danny says gleefully.

The group of children has her up against the wall now and, while the vampire isn’t retaliating, she definitely isn’t enjoying the gang’s newest activity.

 

Laura stands slightly further away, not participating and noticing that Carmilla is clearly not comfortable and seems seconds away from snapping one of her attackers in half.

The small girl jumps up and down silently, waving her arms to get Carmilla’s attention.

The vampire glances over at her, still wriggling against the wall.

“Teleport behind me,” Laura mouths, pointing behind her.

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow but disappears in a puff of smoke, reappearing about a foot behind Laura, still clenching her sides.

 

The group spots Carmilla and starts to run towards her, but Laura throws out her arms protectively.  “If you want her, you’re going to have to go through me!” she cries defiantly.

The children stop their pursuit and look at each other.

“Works for me,” LaF says with a shrug.

Laura lets out a small squeak as they all run at her, tickling her sides, stomach, and neck.

She lets out loud laughter, trying to keep them back, away from Carmilla.

Laura’s friends soon manage to knock her over and pile on top of her.

 

Carmilla watches on, catching Laura’s gaze and giving her a grateful smile.  The tickling has ceased and the children are simply lying on the ground giggling.

After a few seconds, a small “harrumph” is heard. Everyone glances up and sees Perry.

“ _LaFontaine_ , you asked me to pause the game so you could come out here and tickle Carmilla, except now you’re not even doing that, and I’ve been sitting in there for _forever_.” She crosses her arms and LaF looks rather sheepish as they untangle themself and stands.

“Sorry, Per,” they say, running back towards the other redhead.

Perry holds her glare and starts muttering. “…made me come to the Zeta house… wouldn’t let me pick the first game… made me _wait_ … tickle a vampire… wish she had hit you until your poofy hair fell off your head…”

Carmilla smirks.

“Geez, Per, I said I’m sorry,” LaFontaine squeaks, their hands subconsciously shooting to cover their hair. “Leave my poof out of this.”

Perry rolls her eyes and drags them by the arm into the other room.

“Danny, are you coming?” Perry asks from inside.

Danny pushes herself off the ground and runs after them as if her life depended on it.

 

“She’s so scary,” Kirsch whispers to Theo as the boys get up.

“Dude, is there anyone in this group you’re not afraid of?”

Kirsch shakes his head, serious, and Theo laughs. He holds out a hand to help Laura up and she takes it.

“Want to join us for our next game?” Theo asks.

Laura politely shakes her head. “Thanks, but Carm and I have plans.”

They look over at the vampire, who flashes a fang at them, and they scramble back into their room.

Laura quickly says goodbye to everyone and rejoins Carmilla, who hasn’t left her spot in the hallway.

 

“Ready to go?” she asks, holding out her hand. Laura nods and grabs her hand.

“Make it so,” Laura says, beaming.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and teleports them in an empty parking lot.

“Remind me again why you wanted to go to a McDonald’s?” Laura asks as they walk towards the establishment.

“I have my reasons, cutie,” Carmilla replies, holding open the door for her.

 

Carmilla insisted on going in the middle of the day, so it’s relatively empty when they enter.

Laura still isn’t quite sure why they’re there, so she spaces out while they’re on line.

Eventually she feels a small nudge from Carmilla. “Our food is here, cupcake,” she says, holding the tray.

Laura nods absentmindedly and finds them a table. Carmilla places the tray down and Laura stares at it, puzzled.

“Why are there two Happy Meals?”

Carmilla doesn’t answer and opens both immediately, peeking into both boxes.  She makes a small “ah-ha!” sound and digs into one, pushing the other away.

Laura scowls over her unanswered question and tugs the rejected box closer to her, slowly taking out the food, but leaving the toy inside.

 

She hears some crinkling and slowly pushes over her box to see across the table.  She can’t quite make out what Carmilla is hovering over.

 _Why am I so short?_ “Carm, can you get me a booster seat?” Laura asks.

“Mmhmm,” Carmilla says, obviously not paying attention.

Laura huffs, climbs off her chair, gets herself a booster seat, and returns.  “Stupid useless vampire,” she grumbles.

Carmilla smirks at the tiny ball of rage across the table from her.

“What?” Laura demands, popping some French Fries into her mouth.

“Well?  Don’t you want to know why I dragged you here?”

Laura nods, keeping her scowl firmly in place.

Carmilla holds up a small plastic toy–– a minion from the _Despicable Me_ movies.  
Laura blinks, confused.  “Carm, you hate those movies, and you definitely hate those things,” she points out. “What the heck?”

Carmilla continues to smirk as she gives the toy a slight smack with her hand, and it spouts out something in minionese.

“Did you hear it?”

Laura frowns and shakes her head.

“Listen closely.”  Carmilla does the motion again.

Laura hears it and her whole face lights up. “Carm, you silly––”

She breaks out into loud laughter, and Carmilla joins her.

“Are–– you–– Are you telling me you dragged me to McDonald’s to get a toy that sounds like it’s saying ‘ _What the fuck?_ ’” Laura asks through tears.

The two are out of control now, with Laura grabbing her stomach.

Carmilla nods, not ashamed, almost in as much hysterics as Laura.

 

Her voice is raised, and families around them stare disapprovingly.  Some parents even cover their young children’s ears.

“What?” Carmilla demands, glaring at the other customers.  She smacks the toy again and mouths the words with it.

Laura hops off her booster seat and tries to place her hands over the vampire’s mouth.  Carmilla swats her away.

“You can get your kids a toy that says it, but when a five year old repeats it, you get your panties in a bunch?”

 

“Ma’am,” a voice says from behind Carmilla. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, now.”

Carmilla starts to tear into the female employee as well, but Laura shoots her a look.

“Yep, yep, we are going now,” Laura rushes out.

They collect their food and leave.

“I should go back there and take a bite out of one of them,” Carmilla growls.

Laura rolls her eyes and sits down on a bench outside. “Carm, just be glad they let you keep the stupid toy.”

She opens her box again and takes out her own toy, letting out a disappointed whine.

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow.  “What’d you get?”

“Clearly they were trying to get rid of some of their old toys,” Laura says.  She opens the bag and pulls out a small pink bear.  She starts shaking it.  “ _And_ it’s broken,” she pouts.

Carmilla frowns and takes the toy from her. “You silly little quiche,” she says, trying to stifle her laughter.

“What?”

Carmilla points at the bear’s chest, which has a small square that reads “ _Shake the Bear._ ”

“That’s its name, cutie.  Not a command.”

Laura blushes and she grins sheepishly. “Oh.”

Carmilla returns to laughing as hard as she was inside the McDonald’s, holding her stomach, while Laura looks on, unamused.

“I thought I was supposed to shake the bear,” Laura pouts.

 

Carmilla manages to calm down. She lets out one more snicker, before she looks around them, and teleports them back to their place. She watches as Laura bounces away from her and sets down the food in the kitchen.

“Hey, cupcake?”  Carmilla leans against the doorframe.

“Hmm?”  Laura walks by her and puts Shake the Bear down on the couch, giving the stuffed toy its own seat, before brushing past the vampire on her way back into the kitchen.

Carmilla gently grabs her arm to stop her.

“What’s up, Carm?” Laura asks, still bouncing in place.

“I don’t like being tickled,” Carmilla says, letting her arm go.

Laura giggles.  “Yeah, I noticed.”

“You did.”  They go sit and take their food back out.  “And I wanted to thank you for that.”

Laura is stuffing her face with fries. “Nffprblm,” she mumbles.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.

Laura swallows her food.  “No problem,” she repeats.

 

Carmilla places her hand on Laura’s–– the one that isn’t greedily stuffing her mouth with food.

The small girl’s eyes meet the vampire’s.

“I mean it.  Thank you.”  She bites her lip. “It meant a lot to me that you saw how uncomfortable I was and didn’t tickle me and if anything protected me.”

Laura beams at Carmilla.  “I may be tiny, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable of taking care of you, Carm.”

Carmilla laughs and rises from her seat, giving the girl a small kiss on the cheek.  “Yes, you are, cutie.”

 

She sits back down and a few minutes pass as Laura digs into the second Happy Meal.

Carmilla lets out a small burst of laughter before containing it.

Laura jumps at the sound and raises an eyebrow. “Carm…”

Carmilla averts her gaze.

“…Are you still laughing at me shaking the bear?”

Carmilla starts laughing again. “You’re such an idiot,” she gasps out.

Laura scowls, but it slowly turns into a smile while she listens to her vampire’s laughter.  She can put up with being teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) That "minion toy cursing" thing is totally a real thing that I discovered while writing this chapter.  
> 2) "Shake the Bear" was thrown into this chapter as an homage to my brother, who did the same thing. And I was in Carmilla's shoes, calling him an idiot. He asked me to put it into a chapter, so I did <3 Love you, bud!  
> 3) I figured if Laura talks to her dad often, I'd have to eventually address it.  
> Thanks for reading!


	9. Fair's Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to a Halloween fair, leading to plenty of shenanigans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was by far my favorite chapter to write so far. It's also one of the longest, but I couldn't find a good place to end it, so it just kept going on and on haha.  
> Enjoy!

Laura does a little jig in the middle of the room. “Halloween fair, we’re going to the Halloween fair, we’re going to––”

Carmilla clamps a hand over Laura’s mouth. “––to the Halloween fair, yeah, cupcake, I know.”  She’s had just taken a shower and walked out of the bathroom when she found the tiny child singing. Carmilla removes her hand after a couple seconds and Laura beams at her.

“I’m so excited,” Laura says, climbing onto the bed.

“Yes, I gathered that, cutie,” Carmilla smirks, toweling her hair.

Laura bounces on the bed and flops down, rolling around.  “Are we going to go on rides?”

“Of course.”

“Are we going to eat cotton candy?”

Carmilla frowns.  “I guess.  But not too much. After that anniversary gift from me, you were literally buzzing for three days straight from a sugar high.”

“Was not.”  Laura pouts.

Carmilla looks down at Laura and raises an eyebrow. “Were, too.”

“Was _not_.”

 _I can’t believe we’re doing this right now_.  “Were, too.”  Before Laura can continue, Carmilla tosses her damp towel at her.  “Hang this up for me, buttercup.”

Laura sticks her tongue out but does it. She comes back and pokes Carmilla’s shoulder while she’s changing.

 

“What?”

Laura grins mischievously.  “Was not.”  She giggles and leaps back onto the bed while Carmilla lets out a long exasperated sigh. “Are you––”

“Oh my God, if you keep this up I’m going to drop you off in the middle of Alcatraz instead of the fair,” Carmilla interrupts.

Laura continues, unfazed.  “Are you going to win me a big stuffed animal?”

Carmilla shrugs.  “If I do and then I stuff it in your mouth, will you be quiet?” She shoots Laura a grin and the small girl giggles.

“I make no promises,” Laura answers very seriously.

The vampire narrows her eyes. “Get dressed, hon.”

 

* * *

 

“Well, this looks stupid,” Carmilla grumbles as they walk into the fair.

“I think it looks fun,” Laura replies, frowning. Her Halloween costume, a cupcake, is wide and cumbersome.  Her pants are the wrapper, her top is a broad cupcake with frosting, and she has a hat that resembles a cherry.

“Of course you do.  You’re only seeing it from three feet off the ground.”

“Three feet and five inches,” Laura clarifies.

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Gee, that makes all the difference.”

 

“This looks stupid,” Danny mutters from behind them.

Carmilla crosses her arms but smirks. “Finally, mini-Twizzler and I can agree on something.”  She glances down at the small redhead.  “What are you supposed to be?”

Danny turns around and calls Kirsch over. “Does it make sense, now?”

“Oh, you guys are salt and pepper!” Laura realizes, giggling.  “How did you guys decide who was who?”

Kirsch gives a proud grin.  “I’m the salt because I’m salty––”

Danny covers his mouth, but the damage is done, and Carmilla lets out a chuckle.  “I look better in black, so I’m the pepper,” Danny interrupts lamely.

 

Bickering is heard nearby.

“LaFontaine, don’t come crying to me when your outfit has mouse droppings all over it,” Perry scolds.

“You’ll do enough crying over that for the both of us,” LaF teases.  “Don’t worry, Squeakers, she’s just angry coz we look awesome together.”

Laura waves at them and they walk over.

“Nice cupcake costume, Laur,” LaF comments.

Laura beams at them.  “Thank you!”  She looks at the two redheads.  “What are you guys supposed to be?”

Perry rolls her eyes and sucks her teeth.

Laura awkwardly moves her gaze from her to LaFontaine, who sheepishly answers, “We’re Mr. and Mrs. Little.”

Laura’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. LaFontaine is in a tuxedo and is wearing glasses with round frames and the lens missing.  Perry is in a red dress and her hair has been straightened and parted to the side.  “Huh?”

LaF frowns when Perry lets out an aggravated huff. They lift up a small white thing in their hands.  “This is Stuart.”

Laura focuses and it’s Squeakers in a small tuxedo, matching LaFontaine’s.

Carmilla facepalms.  “You guys dressed up as the couple from _Stuart Little_?”

Perry sighs.  “Y _eeeeeee_ p.”

 

LaFontaine scowls.  “Well, how about you, Drusilla?  What the hell are you supposed to be?”

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Down, Hugh Laurie and Carrot Top’s lovechild.”

Sensing the vampire’s patience is wearing thin, Laura chimes in.  “She’s a vampire.”

“Soooo, she’s herself?” Danny asks, scratching her head.

Carmilla starts to make a snippy remark when Laura speaks up again.  “Look, she’s here because this fair won’t let us in unsupervised, so she can be whatever the heck she wants to be, okay?”

Kirsch shrugs.  “Good enough for me.”

The gang heads towards the ticket booth.

“Thanks, cutie.”  Carmilla gives Laura’s hand a small squeeze and the girl beams up at her.

 

They manage to get into the fair with no problem, and soon scatter into pairs.  Danny and Kirsch race for the kiddie roller coaster since they don’t make the height requirement for a regular roller coaster.

“Rides or cotton candy first, hon?” Carmilla asks when they’re alone.

Laura grins.  “Bumper cars!”

Carmilla smirks as she’s all but dragged to the line for it.  “Sweetie, your costume is so big that I could toss you in there right now and you’d be sturdier than the cars.”

Laura swats her playfully.  “Better not piss me off, Carm.  I’m getting in my _zone_.”

“Oh, you’ve got a ‘zone,’ huh?” Carmilla whistles. “I’m _so_ scared.”

They get into the ride in no time and as soon as they start, Laura is maniacally ramming into the other children. One boy even starts to cry when she’s boxed him into a corner and is unable to get out.

Carmilla can’t contain her laughter as she watches the child ruthlessly bumping the other cars.  It becomes obvious that the other participants are afraid of her and begin driving away from her whenever she’s nearby.

Laura starts yelling out insults about them being cowardly and one girl actually parks herself in the middle of the arena, screaming to be let out so she can get away from this psycho.

 

The vampire is too busy laughing at the entire scene before her that she is completely unprepared for her own car to jerk forward.

“You think you’re exempt?” the tiny five-year old tosses at her.

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Watch it, Hollis.”

Laura backs her car up and bumps Carmilla again. “Come and get it, Karnstein.”

“You asked for it.”  Carmilla turns her car around and nudges Laura’s.

“You call that a hit?”  Laura sticks out her tongue.

Carmilla glares at her and drives away towards the other children.

 

“Hey,” she whispers to some children nearby who are cowering from the wrath of Laura.  “Who here wants some revenge?”

The kids nod at Carmilla eagerly and she smiles. She looks behind her and the girl is still terrorizing a small group.

“Everyone point your cars at her and wait for my signal,” she says.

Laura is finishing with her last batch of victims when her car is finally facing away from the group.

“Now!” Carmilla yells.

A dozen cars aimed at Laura slam into hers and she’s crammed against the wall, startled.  The alarm for the end of the ride rings.  Laura looks over and sees a grinning Carmilla and her mouth drops open.

“ _Traitor_ ,” Laura hisses when they leave the arena.

Carmilla throws her head back in a laugh. “You were _so_ asking for it, cutie.”

Laura pouts but it quickly fades. “Yeah… I was, wasn’t I?”

 

LaFontaine and Perry approach them, Perry looking even more upset than before.

“What’s up, guys?” Laura asks.

“The Ferris Wheel isn’t working,” Perry says dejectedly.  “The gondola at the top got stuck and they’re getting someone to come fix it but it probably won’t run for the rest of the night.”

LaF rubs small circles on her back and puts on a tentative smile.  “We could try that slow water ride?”

Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this.”

“Do what?” Laura asks.

“Just head towards the Ferris Wheel,” Carmilla mumbles, stomping off.

Laura tries to shrug in her cupcake outfit but it doesn’t really show so she just settles for a confused scowl and heads over with the two redheads.

 

By the time they reach it, the ride is running again. Carmilla is lounging nearby.

“Carm,” Laura says suspiciously, “what did you do?”

The vampire shrugs.  “I may or may not have teleported up there and fixed the gondola when no one was looking.”

Perry’s face lights up and she throws herself at Carmilla, wrapping her arms around her waist for a hug.  “Oh my goodness, Carmilla, you’re amazing, thank you!”

Carmilla gives her a few awkward pats on the shoulder. “Y-You’re... Welcome.”

The line is relatively short now, and Perry yanks LaFontaine to wait.

 

Laura toddles next to Carmilla and silently beams up at her.

“If you say a word, I’m ditching you for the rest of this,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura wiggles her eyebrows and continues grinning, but remains silent.

After a few moments, Carmilla gently nudges Laura. “Did you want to go on the Ferris Wheel, too?”

Laura nods and they get in line.

They hear a relieved sigh behind them a few moments later.  “Finally, a ride D-bear is tall enough get on,” Kirsch says as he and Danny approach. Carmilla stifles her laughter.

Danny crosses her arms and pouts. “You can go on rides without me, y’know.”

The boy frowns and doesn’t reply.

“What?”

Kirsch shrugs noncommittally.

“ _What_?”

He blows out some air.  “It’s not as fun without you, that’s all.”

“Oh.”  Danny blushes and smiles.  “You’re not such a bad salt to my pepper, you know that?”

Kirsch lets out a cheer.  “I’ll take it.”

 

The three groups make it onto the Ferris Wheel, alternating so Perry and LaFontaine, as well as Kirsch and Danny, get on the swinging gondolas, while Carmilla and Laura get on a stationary gondola between.

Laura removes her cherry hat. Carmilla raises an eyebrow quizzically. “It was getting hot in there,” the cupcake explains.

Carmilla holds Laura’s hand as the small girl awkwardly snuggles up against her arm.

“So maybe I didn’t think this costume through all the way,” Laura admits.  Carmilla swallows an “I told you so” and just hums in response.

 

They make it to about a fourth of the way through the rotation before there’s a clamoring in Danny and Kirsch’s gondola.

“Kirsch, stop rocking it so much!” Danny whines.

Kirsch scoffs.  “If you didn’t want me to rock it, then why are we in this one and not staple-nary one?”

“‘Stationary,’ you mean ‘stationary,’ you _idiot_!”

Kirsch scowls and rocks their gondola harder as Danny yelps.

 

“I’ll be honest, the only reason I agreed to getting in a stationary gondola was because I was afraid you’d rock ours,” Laura admits quietly.

Carmilla pretends to be highly offended. “I thought you knew me better than that, sweetheart.  How dare you.”

Laura pulls away and frowns.  “I’m sorry, Carm!  It was stupid, I shouldn’t have thought that.  I shouldn’t have––”

Carmilla pats her leg gently. “Laura.”

Laura’s face slowly breaks into a smile. “You were teasing me, weren’t you?”

Carmilla nods.

 

Perry’s high-pitched voice starts to shriek in her gondola with LaF.

“LaFontaine, you stop swinging this gondola _this instant!_ ”

“Make me!” LaF starts giggling.

“I will throw Squeakers from this ride if you don’t stop!”

“No, you won’t!”

 

Carmilla buries her face in her hands. “I can’t take this anymore.”

She disappears in a puff of smoke and reappears shortly after.

Laura bites her lip.  “What did you do?” she asks hesitantly.

Suddenly, whooping and cheering are heard in a gondola nearby.  It starts rocking more than ever before.

“I put Ginger One and the puppy in one gondola, and the other two in the other,” Carmilla replies.

Laura giggles.  “You smarty-pants.”

“I like to think it’s one of my best traits,” Carmilla says with a smirk.

“Thank you, Carmilla!” Perry calls out from the gondola behind them.

“Yes, thanks, Fang Face!” Danny echoes.

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Don’t mention it.  Seriously.”

 

Laura and Carmilla’s gondola reaches the top and the sun is starting to set.  They look at it in silence for a few moments.

“It looks beautiful,” Laura breathes out.

Carmilla smiles.  “It does.”

Laura glances over.  “Have you ever done this before?”

The vampire quirks an eyebrow. “Watched a sunset?”

“From the top of a Ferris Wheel?”

Carmilla smiles and shakes her head. “Laura, you’re showing me there are so many firsts I still haven’t had, even after all these years.”

Before Laura can respond, the moment is interrupted when there’s a loud fiasco below them.

 

“Squeakers, wait, we won’t shake it anymore! Come back––”

“Oh, dude, Squeakers is totally gonna jump!”

“No, Squeakers, don’t be scared–– no, _no_ , _NO––_ ”

Carmilla sighs as LaF and Kirsch let out a bloodcurdling scream.  “Be right back, hon.” She disappears in another puff of smoke and reappears on the ground below, managing to catch the plummeting rodent.

She teleports back up and hands her back to the two trembling children.

LaF looks like they’re about to burst into tears. “Y-You even saved her tuxedo.”

Carmilla fixes them with a glare. “Keep a better grip on your pet, or it’ll end up in the whack-a-mole booth.”

 

The rest of the ride goes smoothly and soon Carmilla is walking a cotton candy-eating Laura around the games and prizes area.

“Let me know when you spot something you’d like, cutie,” Carmilla says.

They walk past a few booths before something catches both of their eyes.  Laura nudges the vampire.  “I know you see it,” she says smugly.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Carmilla states adamantly.

Laura points at a stubby stuffed black panther.

“Oh, _that_?” Carmilla asks innocently.

Laura scoffs.  “Yes, _that_.  Can you try winning that for me, Carm?  Please?”

Carmilla adopts a positively apathetic and bored expression before she glances down at her tiny companion.  “I dunno…”

Laura pouts and gives her puppy eyes, batting her eyelashes.  “ _Pretty please_?”  She points at her cherry hat.  “Pretty please, with a cherry on top?”

Carmilla’s drops her façade and smiles. “We’ve got to put that face of yours to better uses, Hollis.”

Laura beams up at her and giggles. “I can think of no more noble an act than winning me that stuffed panther.”

 

Carmilla strides over to the station, which is a “High Striker” game.

“How much for that panther?” Carmilla asks.

A snotty, bored-looking teenage boy is running it. “Test your might,” he recites flatly. “For the prize you want, you’ll need the max setting on the Strength-O-Meter.  You get three tries.”

“You got this, Carm,” Laura whispers, taking a bite out of her cotton candy.

“Many have tried, little have succeeded,” the teenager continues hollowly.  “Good luck and here is your weapon.”  He hands Carmilla a hammer.

Carmilla swings down once, and the marker on the Strength-O-Meter barely reaches the half-point.  She doesn’t want to get it on the first try and draw attention to herself.

“Oh, so close,” the teen says snidely.

Laura narrows her eyes at him.

Carmilla takes another swing, and the marker goes slightly higher, but not enough to reach the maximum tick mark.

“Well, what can I say?  Maybe if you came back here with a strong _man_ ––”

Laura darts up to the boy with her bunched up face. “––Listen, you butt face! She’s stronger than any man and she’s gonna win me that panther, so just shut up!” 

“Listen, _dud_ muffin, this little girl won’t hit the mark, you won’t get your doll, so maybe you should stop putting all your faith in her, because––”

A loud _ding_ echoes as Carmilla hits the maximum mark and some bystanders applaud her. Carmilla remains silent but grins smugly at the teenager, who’s clammed up.

Laura, having regained her composure, blinks innocently at him.  “One black panther, please,” she says sweetly.

The teenager glares at her but hands her the stuffed animal.

“Thank you, sir,” Laura continues, as saccharine as ever.  Carmilla smirks as they start to walk away, but Laura pivots and heads back to the teenager. “And I’m totally a stud muffin,” she adds, before walking away again.

 

“You _sure_ told him.”  Carmilla snickers until they’re far enough away to let out some all-out laughter. “Cupcake, you are too much.”

Laura grins.  “Well, _you_ told me to put my face to better use.”  She nuzzles her face into the panther.  “Thank you so much, Carm! I love it.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “Oh, do you?  Better be careful, Laura.  I might get jealous.”

“Don’t be silly.”  Laura giggles.  “You’re definitely my number one black cat.”

Carmilla swoops Laura off the ground and carries her as best she can, given the costume.  She kisses Laura on the cheek.  “And you’re number one cupcake.”

Laura lets out a sigh.  “I’d better be.  This costume is a pain in the tushy.”

 

Running footsteps approach them from behind and Carmilla whirls around to see LaFontaine and Perry.

“Guess what Per did for me,” LaF says, beaming.

“What?” Laura asks.  Perry is standing there silently, blushing.

“She won me this airplane at the bottle toss!” they exclaim, holding up the prize proudly.

It’s a moderately sized model airplane. In the seat is none other than Squeakers, still sporting her tuxedo.

“Since Stuart Little had a plane,” Perry says quietly.

LaFontaine looks like they’re on top of the world. “You like Squeakers, don’t you, Per?”

The other redhead narrows her eyes. “Don’t make me regret this, LaFontaine.”

 

Carmilla leans in to whisper into Laura’s ear. “She’s totally gonna regret this.”

Laura nods immediately.  “Oooh, yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates related to this fic are on my tumblr under "#Carmilla Childcare" (at http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/). There's currently two more chapters written that need to be edited.  
> The feedback you guys have been giving me is absolutely amazing <3  
> Thanks for reading!!


	10. Of Apples And Haunted Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura drags Carmilla to go apple-picking and to a haunted house with the gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, how's everyone doing after _that_ episode?  
>  There were originally another two chapters in front of this one, but after watching [that Ellen DeGeneres video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEVrYx8-lys) of the haunted house, I just knew I had to stick this in after the Halloween fair chapter.  
> As always, thank you for reading! <3

Laura gasps excitedly.  “I see a really nice one, Carm!”

The vampire sighs.  “ _Really_ , cupcake?”

The small girl, perched on Carmilla’s shoulders, nods enthusiastically.  “Come on! Lift me up higher!”

“The stupid apple isn’t going anywhere,” Carmilla grumbles.

“It’s not a stupid apple.  It’s a beautiful apple,” Laura beams.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and gestures with what she’s holding in her hands.  “Yeah, well, we have three huge paper bags of ‘beautiful apples,’” she teases.

Laura lets out a huff.  “Fine, fine.  We’ll just abandon that _gorgeous, amazing, awesome_ apple up there and never let it go to its full potential…”

“I have half a mind to bury you up to your neck in this orchard and laugh as apples fall off the tree and hit you in the head, cutie.”

She can almost hear Laura’s pout.

“You’re always saying you want me to eat something other than cookies and chocolate,” the girl points out.

 

Carmilla lets out an exasperated sigh. “Okay, okay, enough with the guilt trip.” She puts down the bags and gets closer to the tree.  Laura manages to stand on Carmilla’s shoulders, grabbing onto a tree branch.

Perry clicks her tongue, approaching the couple. “She’s going to crack her silly head open.”

“Fine with me,” the vampire says, shrugging nonchalantly.  “At least then I don’t have to stop for any more _beautiful_ apples.”

“I heard that,” Laura yells down, scowling, leading to a small chuckle from Carmilla.  Laura is a few branches higher now.

LaFontaine, walking behind Perry, shakes their head. “Ignore Per.  She’s just being really picky about what apples we get.”

The other redhead crosses her arms. “Well, excuse me for not wanting to settle on quality.”

 

“I dunno, the cupcake picked some pretty nice ones,” Carmilla says.

“Thank you!” Laura shouts out.

“Maybe it’s just because you’re too short to see the good ones,” Carmilla teases, leading to an exaggerated huff from Perry.

“Psst, Carm,” Laura calls down. “Catch!”

Carmilla rolls her eyes as an apple falls down at her, not even bothering to look up as it lands in her hand.

“Whoa,” LaF whispers, impressed.

“Yeah, well, it only took us two dozen apples to get that trick down,” Carmilla scoffs.

“Uhm, Laura, do you need help climbing down?” Perry frets. 

“I got it, I got it,” Laura insists.

Carmilla rolls her eyes again. After a few seconds, she counts out, “1… 2… 3…”

A loud snapping sound is heard, and Laura falls off the branch she’s dangling from.  Carmilla turns slightly and holds her arms out, catching Laura and placing her back on her shoulders.

“You guys take trust falls really seriously,” LaF comments as the four continue walking through the orchard.

 

A few moments pass before Laura lets out another excited gasp.

“No.”

“But, Carm––”

“No.”

“But it’s a _beautiful_ ––”

“ _No_.”

“But it’s right––”

Carmilla stops short and crosses her arms. “I don’t care where it is, no more apples.”

Laura lets out a small whine.

Carmilla scowls, which lasts for all of five seconds before she groans.  “For the love of Johnny Appleseed, where is it?”

Laura giggles and points.

 

Rapid footsteps approach and the group turns to see Danny and Kirsch maniacally running towards them.

“Mine, _mine_ , it’s mine, it’s _mine_!” the small redhead screams.

“Nooo _OOO_ ooo,” Kirsch cries out.

A shoving match ensues as they brush past the others.

Laura gasps.  “Carm, they’re going for my apple!”

The vampire rolls her eyes, sighs, and gently removes Laura from her shoulders.

In a blur of movement, she reaches the apple and plucks it, holding it above the two warring children.

“Sorry, this one’s been claimed for Laura,” Carmilla sneers.

Danny pouts.  “Lauuuura,” she whines.  “Using Carmilla to help you is _cheating_.”

Carmilla’s eyebrows furrow in confusion as she approaches Laura.  “Wait, are you saying that the only reason we’ve been going after every ‘beautiful’ apple we see is because you’re competing with these two?” she asks her.

Laura nods, giving her a sheepish grin.

Carmilla kneels in front of Laura with an unreadable expression.  “I am so proud of you, creampuff,” she smirks.

 

She swiftly picks Laura back up and settles her on her shoulders.  “Let’s kick their ass.” Carmilla picks up the bags and they rush off.

“H-Hey!  Cheating!  That’s cheating!” Danny blurts out, rushing after them.

“Can’t hear you, peanut,” Carmilla shouts back over her shoulder.  Laura turns and sticks her tongue out at Danny and Kirsch.

 

* * *

 

“Are we really about to do this?” Perry asks. “I hate haunted houses. I never get scared.”

“Same, dude,” Kirsch sighs.

Carmilla shrugs.  “That’s why we’re standing at the entrance like a bunch of idiots while the actual idiots are in the waiting area ‘getting pumped up,’” she sighs. “At least this is better than picking apples.”

Laura, Danny, and LaFontaine finally come to the entrance.

“It’s about time,” Carmilla grumbles. “Did you three find your nerves yet?”

Laura pouts.  “Come on, Grumpy, let’s go.”

“Are we going in pairs?” Perry asks. “The pathway is wide enough for three people across.”

Carmilla grins.  “How about we put the scaredy-cats in the front?”

Laura scowls up at her and Kirsch gestures for a high five from Carmilla, who reluctantly stoops down and gives him one.

The person waiting to let them in grins at Carmilla and her band of children as they finally start to enter.

 

LaFontaine swallows hard.  “Per, if I don’t make it out of this, tell Squeakers I love her.”

“Oh, LaFont _aine_ , cut it out.”

“Carm,” Laura whispers.  “If _I_ don’t make it out of this, you’re allowed to put my yellow pillow in one of my t-shirts, okay?”

“You’re too kind,” Carmilla states flatly.

Danny, Laura, and LaFontaine begin walking in, with Kirsch, Carmilla, and Perry behind them, respectively.

 

Right away, actors start springing up in front of them. One is in a mask, showing bone and muscle. Another looks like a burn victim. Both are howling. The three children in front jump.

They make a turn into a room and a lumbering actor covered in moldy looking bandages lunges at them. LaF yelps and they press on further, only to be stopped by a large book case falling in front of them. The group warily steps over it.

The next passageway is uneventful. The room after is a quick scare, with two manic actors chasing them around, wielding chainsaws.

By now, Kirsch is as jumpy as are Danny is, and he begins whimpering. “I’m gonna pee myself!” he shouts.

“You'd better not!” Danny yells back. “You're pressed right up against me!”

Another actor, simply limping towards them, makes Kirsch whine. He grabs Danny by the shoulders and pushes her forward, using her as a shield. “RUN, DUDE! RUN!!”

He pushes her right past two more actors and into the next room.  Her arms are in front of her, defensively flailing as she yells at him to stop.

 

“Wait!” Laura calls.  She starts to run after them but an actor, dressed as a half-beast, half-man, reaches for her. He accidentally grabs her shoulder and she instinctively curls her hand into a fist. She punches him square in the nose.

He lets out a loud groan and backs away from her.

“O-Oh, gosh, I’m s-sorry,” Laura apologizes frantically.

LaF and Perry run by Laura, and Carmilla grabs her and tugs her away.

“Come on, cupcake, before he decides to actually eat you.”

Laura nods and they dart into the following area.

Unlike the previous ones, lit either by candlelight or flashing lights, this one is completely dark. Even Carmilla can't see in it, but she feels Laura’s hand pull out of hers.

 

After a few seconds, “Continue forward into the next area,” echoes a sinister, raspy voice through the room. A dim exit sign flashes and the vampire shrugs, heading for it.

She pushes the door open and turns around, but only Kirsch and Perry follow her in.

“Where are the others?” Carmilla asks, frowning.

“I don't know,” Perry replies. “Shortly after we went into that room, LaFontaine pulled their hand from mine.”

Carmilla scowls and looks around the room. “Well, they didn't just disappear.”  She's getting worried now and peers back into the previous area. She didn't hear Laura or the others being taken. She squints but doesn't see any other doors in the darkness.

“Bro, where’s D-bear and the other two?” Kirsch frets. He looks as if he's about to burst into tears at any second. “I'm freaking out!”

Perry wrings her hands together. “There has to be some logical explanation for this.”

The vampire bites her lip. “Let's just continue and figure it out later.”  If memory serves her correctly, the layout they were shown before entering indicated they only have one more room to go.

 

The two children seem reluctant, but they proceed onwards. The hallway is empty, so they go straight into the next room.

Carmilla waits for the two children to enter first. Perry’s screaming catches her attention before she looks to see what is causing it.

Laura, LaFontaine, and Danny are all lying on the ground, covered in blood.

“It’s just a prank,” Carmilla drawls, although the sight has shaken her more than she’s willing to admit.

Perry is the first to move, running to LaF, and dropping to their side.  Kirsch moves next, shaking Danny.

“Dude,” he cries, his voice cracking. “D-Bear, wake up!”

“LaFontaine, stop playing around, right now!” Perry scolds.

Carmilla walks next to Laura. She can’t make out a heartbeat over the ambient sounds blaring from the haunted house’s loudspeakers, and it’s too dark for her to be sure if Laura is breathing.

The vampire nudges Laura with her foot. “Laura, if this is a joke, it’s not funny.  So you’d better get––” She shares a nervous glance with Perry and Kirsch.

 

A group of actors springs up behind them, and they all scream.

Suddenly, all the lights turn on and Laura is the first to break into giggles, eventually joined by LaFontaine and then Danny.

“D-Bear, bro, you totally got me!” Kirsch chuckles and playfully shoves her.  “Almost gave me a heart attack!  But it was _cool_.  Like, a _cool_ heart attack.”

Perry scowls at LaFontaine, fussing over the fact that they “voluntarily laid down on the dirty ground and will definitely have to take a shower because who knows what’s been tracked through the haunted house with the amount of traffic they’ve gotten.”  Otherwise, she doesn’t seem upset.

Laura looks at Carmilla, who doesn’t seem to be having any sort of reaction whatsoever.

 

The actors who did the last scare come up to the group.

“I hope this was okay,” one says to Carmilla, who he’s assumed to be in charge of this group of kids.  “They asked one of the helpers in the waiting room if they could do this in the last room.”

“We figured, no harm, no foul, so in the last room we snuck them out a fake panel in the wall that connects these two rooms,” another continues.

Carmilla glares down at Laura, who gulps. She presses her lips in a thin line and storms out the exit.

“I… I, uh… I’ll go talk to her,” Laura mumbles. She waves goodbye to the actors. “Thanks for helping us out and letting us be a part of it.”

 

The tiny girl stumbles out, looking for Carmilla.

She pauses when she sees the actor she punched earlier holding a tissue to his bloody nose.  “If you’re looking for your friend, she ran off that way,” he says, pointing.

“Thank you!” Laura says, beaming up at him. “And sorry again about your nose.”

“It was a good shot,” he says, chuckling.

Laura has to run to catch up to Carmilla, who stops several feet away from the haunted house when Laura finally reaches her and grabs her wrist.  “Carm––”

Carmilla whirls around, fury in her eyes. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she demands. “I’ve told you that I’m already on edge with you being so small and vulnerable, and then you go and pull this stunt?”

 

Laura pouts.

“Don’t pout at me,” Carmilla growls. “In what universe did you think it’d be a possibly good idea to wander off and then pretend to be hurt?”

The others have exited the haunted house by now but maintain a safe distance.

Laura wrings her hands.  “I-I just…  We––”

“What?  You wanted to scare me?  Don’t you remember the whole ‘going to the park without a phone’ incident, or the ‘getting separated in a museum’ thing?”

 

Danny steps forward.  “Carmilla, Laura wasn’t trying to––”

“This doesn’t concern you,” the vampire snaps.

Laura sniffles, drawing Carmilla’s attention back to her.

“Stop crying and _answer me_ , Laura,” she says sharply.

Laura takes a shaky breath and slowly meets Carmilla’s eyes.  “I wasn’t trying to scare you.  At least, not in that way,” she mumbles.

“Then what _were_ you trying to do?”

“It’s just… I already felt bad that I dragged you along to go apple picking this morning when you clearly didn’t want to be there, and then you started complaining about the haunted house because you’re a vampire so you can sense most things coming…”

Laura’s voice cracks and she clears her throat before continuing.

“So I thought if I could give you a proper scare, then you would have a good time at the haunted house, too.” She shrugs, tears forming in her eyes. “I just didn’t want you to feel left out.”

 

Carmilla’s face softens and she can’t think of anything to say.  An awkward silence forms, which Laura of course puts an end to.

“I didn’t think that you’d get that scared or freaked out, I just thought you’d find it fun and get a good laugh at what a dork I am, and the fact that it was cool of those guys let three kids join in and I’m sorry I went too far––”

Carmilla presses a finger against Laura’s lips and shakes her head.  “I-It’s fine,” she says, taking a deep breath.

Laura mumbles something against Carmilla’s finger that sounds like, “Rrrrrry?”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and removes her hand.

“Really?” Laura repeats.

“Yeah.”  Carmilla nods.  “I think I overreacted. I just…  If something happens to you…”

Laura tackles her in a hug and Carmilla lets out a small “oof.”

 

“I’m sorry I ruined your day _and_ night, Carm,” Laura says softly.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Hon, you didn’t ruin anything.  I had plenty of fun picking apples.  And, for the record, I was enjoying the haunted house, too.”

Laura’s eyebrows furrow and she looks skeptical. “ _Really_?”

“Yes.  If I _really_ wasn’t enjoying myself, I would’ve left or said no from the start.”  She grins down at the small bunched up face staring up at her. “I just complain to tease you, cutie.”

“Oh.”  Laura huffs.  “Girls are so complicated.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I've only got about five-six more ideas for this fic, but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> You guys are awesome!!


	11. Just Keep Swimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes swimming but has to revamp their plans when the weather doesn't cooperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I was in a bad place or something when I originally wrote this chapter, but when I went through the draft, it had so much angst in it LOL. I fixed it up but it still doesn't feel as on-par with the fluff in some of the other chapters.  
> I kept bumping it down the schedule for this fic, but after today's ep, I have no idea how I feel and if it was angsty... so consider this a bit of a filler chapter that's setting up the next couple chapters and will become more relevant when the fic ends? :P

“I don’t do the whole swimming thing, buttercup,” Carmilla drawls while watching the little five-year-old bustle around the apartment, packing towels and sunscreen.

“You don’t have to swim, Carm,” Laura replies.  “You could just read by the side of the pool.”

The vampire rolls her eyes.  “And risk getting this first edition wet?  I don’t think so.”

“I’m just saying,” Laura plops herself on the bed next to Carmilla, “the weather forecast for today looks amazing.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow but doesn’t respond.

Laura huffs and hops off the bed, returning with the stuffed black panther.  “Bagheera wants you to go.”

“Bagheera is a stuffed panther and doesn’t have the sentient capabilities to desire me to do anything,” Carmilla comments, not taking her eyes off her book.

Laura bites her lip and blows out some air.  “Fine.”  She places the stuffed animal where she was sitting.  “Baggy, I want you to keep Carm company, okay?”

Carmilla glances down at her new companion, glances at Laura, who’s grabbing her bag, and then glances back at her book, fighting a smile.

Laura gives a small wave.  “See you in a bit, Carm!”

Carmilla waves back and waits for the door to close.  “Well, Baggy, I guess it’s just you and me, now.”

  

* * *

 

 

Laura removes her t-shirt and shorts to reveal a yellow swimsuit.  Danny has a similar orange one, since they went shopping together.

“I can’t believe the Dean had a pool right outside her apartment this entire time,” LaFontaine says, entering with Perry in their own matching swimsuits.  The former’s design has small microscopes, while the latter’s has cookies.

“Carm says that they used to keep mermaids in here, but that stopped being a thing decades ago,” Laura says.

Danny frowns as she peers into the pool.  “That’d explain why it’s so deep.”

“Everyone here can swim in deep pools, right?” Perry frets.

The group gives affirmative answers, when loud rapid footsteps approach.

 

“ _CANNONBALL!_ ” Kirsch shrieks, flinging himself into the water, splashing the girls, who squeal and laugh.

Danny jumps in next and immediately splashes him.  “You brozo!”

He flashes her a grin and splashes her back.

Soon the entire gang is in the water, splashing each other.

 

They start off playing Marco Polo.  Laura is the best, knowing just how to keep her movements silent in the pool.  Kirsch is the worst, making loud splashing noises no matter how hard he tries.  He eventually just settles for being the distraction, so when whoever is “It” is getting close to the others, he works hard to keep them safe.

The game finally ends after Danny climbs onto Kirsch to hide from LaFontaine, which Perry calls cheating, and LaF walks themselves right into the edge of the pool, at which Perry declared the game was becoming too dangerous.

 

LaFontaine and Laura soon start a race up and down the pool, which eventually turns into a relay race involving Kirsch and Danny, officiated by Perry.

Danny and Kirsch win, and the prize is that they get to pick the next game.  Shortly after, Mel and Theo show up.

 

Kirsch grabs a volleyball he borrowed from the Zeta house, and they set up a game of three-on-three, using a net from the Summer Society, and switching out one player every so often to officiate.

It gets a little difficult to make sure Perry and LaF are always playing together, Mel is never playing with Theo or Kirsch, and Theo is never playing with her or Danny, but they manage.

 

In fact, the group is having so much fun that they fail to realize the sky darkening until there’s a boom in the distance.

Kirsch is currently the officiator, and it isn’t until the sudden heavy downpour starts that they realize they should get out of the pool.  There’s huge flash, accompanied by a loud boom, and everyone jumps, eyes wide.

“We should get out of the pool,” Perry rushes out.  “That sounded really nearby––”

There’s a second brighter flash and louder boom echoes as the group heads out of the water.  It’s getting colder now that the sun is blocked by huge clouds, and the wind is picking up.

Danny and Laura are the last one to get out of the pool, having been the farthest from the edge.

“Laura,” the small redhead gasps out, “I think–– I’m too tired to make it back.”

The other girl’s eyes widen.  “Hang on, Danny.”

Laura throws Danny’s arm over her shoulder and swims harder.  The others are out of the pool and are waiting with bated breath.

 

Laura makes sure Danny is out of the pool first before she lifts herself out.

Perry, LaF, Theo, and Mel are already heading back towards the apartment.  Kirsch and Danny enter right after them, but a large gust of wind blows the door closed right before Laura can reach it.

The sky flashes again and another boom reverberates before a loud cracking sound takes its place.  It feels oddly close by and, in her periphery, Laura sees a blur and realizes something is falling in front of her.  She backs up, watching as a large tree branch falls down, wedging the door closed.

 

* * *

 

 

Carmilla smiles as she finishes the last page in her book.  It’s been a nice peaceful few hours, although far from quiet.  She could hear the splashes and laughter from the pool outside.

From what the vampire could gather, there had been an extensive game of Marco Polo and she’s pretty sure there was eventually some kind of ball being hit back and forth.  Carmilla stands and stretches before placing the book back in its bookcase and taking a sip from her cup, strolling over to the window.

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.  _Why’s there such a big, weird-looking storm cloud headed this way?_

There’s some thunder and lightning as she watches everyone scramble out of the pool.  The wind is picking up.  She can feel the temperature dropping even from inside.

Laura and Danny are the last to leave.  Then, for some reason, Danny suddenly stops and Laura is carrying her the rest of the way.

Carmilla lets go of a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding when Laura finally makes it out of the pool.

Suddenly, she hears her name being yelled out downstairs, but before she rushes over, she can see what’s causing it from the window.  Lightning had struck a tree right by the door, and a branch was now wedging the door closed–– _keeping Laura outside_.

She quickly teleports outside and grabs the small, shivering child, teleporting her right back into the apartment.

 

“Th-thanks,” Laura says through chattering teeth, nuzzling her dripping face into Carmilla’s chest.

The rest of the group runs upstairs and finds Carmilla rubbing Laura to try to warm her back up.

“Are you okay?” Perry asks.

Laura nods, her shaking slowing down a bit.  Everyone collectively lets out a sigh of relief.

“What should we do now?” Kirsch asks.

“It's too dangerous for you guys to go back now,” Laura points out as Perry and Danny get her towels.

LaF shrugs. “We can try playing tag down in the basement?”

Carmilla is wrapping a towel around Laura and patting her dry.

“I wanna play,” Laura pouts.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “Cupcake, you’re still freezing.  You almost got killed by a falling tree branch.  And now you want to play tag?”

Laura coughs a bit and frowns.  “Yeah, I guess running around isn’t the best idea.”  She visibly deflates.

Carmilla lets out a long exasperated sigh.  “How about you guys go down to the basement and play tag, and when Laura’s feeling better, she can go downstairs and join you guys in playing something a little less physically demanding?”

 

“We can play hide-and-seek,” Perry suggests.

“Let’s just play that!” Kirsch shouts excitedly.

Mel pats him on the shoulder.  “You go first, broniac.”

He immediately turns around and starts counting.  “30… 29… 28…”

The others run out of the room, scrambling for hiding spots.

When he finishes counting down, he darts out in search of the others.

 

Carmilla goes to get a change of clothes for Laura.

“You really scared me there, munchkin,” she says, handing them over.  "I thought the branch fell on you."

“I’m sorry,” Laura says before she takes them into the bathroom to change.  “I didn’t mean to.”

Carmilla sighs and runs her hand through her hair.  She can hear the girl cough softly in the other room before she re-enters.

Laura walks over to Carmilla and gives her a quick peck on the cheek.

“Did you at least have fun?” the vampire asks, pulling Laura into her lap.

Laura nods and smiles.  “I’m the best at Marco Polo.”

“Wow,” Carmilla replies flatly.  “With that title, you’re now eligible to be my trophy wife.  Or trophy cupcake.”

Laura scrunches up her face.  “No sympathy for your soggy creampuff, huh?”

Carmilla laughs dryly before giving her a small squeeze.  “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Carm, you can’t have a heart attack,” Laura giggles.

 

The vampire narrows her eyes at her.  Before she can give a snarky reply, voices come from the staircase.

“You’re just missing one more person,” Danny says.

Kirsch nods as he walks into the room.  “Oh!  I found the last person!  I found Laura!!”

Danny rolls her eyes.  “Kirsch, Laura isn’t playing right now,” she says exasperatedly, swatting him.

“Oh.  Right.”

Laura tugs on Carmilla’s sleeve.  “Can I play now?”

“Well, you haven’t coughed for a while…”  She boops the girl on the nose.  “Just avoid trees, poptart.”

Laura lets out a squeal, pulls Carmilla in for a quick hug, and then follows Danny and Kirsch out of the room.

 

Carmilla sighs and returns to the bookshelf, pulling out another book and lying back down.  She frowns when she feels like she’s missing something, and looks around the room to figure out what it could be.  Her eyes land on a stuffed black panther and she scoffs at herself.

“Come on, Baggy, let’s see how good ol’ Descartes is doing today,” she says, plopping the stuffed animal on her lap before opening the book.

A few minutes go by before footsteps race into the room.  Carmilla doesn’t bother to glance up from the page.

“What’s up, baby carrot?”

Danny pads over to Carmilla and lowers her voice.  “Don’t tell anyone I’m here, okay?”  She runs off to a small closet behind the vampire and ducks into it.

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  A couple minutes pass before Laura walks into the room.  “Have you seen Danny?” she asks.

Carmilla wordlessly points towards the closet.

Laura cackles and throws open the door, yanking out the small redhead.

 

“ _Carmillaaaaa_ ,” Danny whines with a pout so big that it’s rivaling one of Laura’s.

“ _Daaannyyy,_ ” Carmilla mocks before she shrugs.  “That’s what you get for trapping my cupcake out in that storm,” she deadpans.

Danny’s eyes widen and Laura’s mouth drops open.

“ _Kidding_ ,” Carmilla insists, closing her book and putting it aside.  “No hard feelings, Strawberry Shortcake.”

Danny lets out a sigh of relief.

“Come on, let’s go find the others.”  Carmilla gestures towards the door.

Laura beams up at her vampire.  Danny lets out a small whoop.

“Oh sure, _now_ you’re not against me helping Laura,” Carmilla retorts, smirking at Danny’s sheepish grin.

 

Laura had already found Kirsch and LaFontaine.  Kirsch had since found a very grumpy Mel, who insisted cheating was involved.

“All that’s left is Perry,” Danny says.  LaFontaine gestures to the gang to head into the kitchen.

“I think she’s in the closet,” they whisper.

Carmilla’s lips curl into a smirk.  “Stay here,” she tells everyone before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

A few seconds pass by before a high-pitched, “ _EEP_ ” comes from the closet and it bursts open.  The redheaded child trips and lands on the floor before scrambling into LaFontaine’s arms.

Carmilla is cackling and Laura nudges her playfully.

“That was unnecessary,” Laura says.

“ _Well_ , on that note,” Perry says pointedly, “it seems like it stopped raining and thundering.”

Mel claps her hands together.  “Alright, I’m out,” she says.

Theo and Kirsch quickly follow suit, saying their goodbyes and hugging Laura gently before leaving. 

 

Danny lingers behind and gestures that she wants to speak to Laura alone.

“What’s up?”

Danny rocks on the balls of her feet and sways back and forth a bit before replying.  “I… I-I just feel bad you got stuck out there because of me.”

Laura scoffs.  “That wasn’t your fault.”

“Hollis, you were carrying me and got slowed down.”

Laura shrugs.  “I guess, yeah, but––”

“Mind if I weigh in on this?” a voice asks from behind Laura.

 

The girls look at Carmilla.  Laura bites her lip.  “Carm, I’m not sure if…”

“I saw the whole thing from the window,” Carmilla interrupts, staring straight at the small redhead.

“Oh?”  Danny shifts uncomfortably.

“Yeah.”  Carmilla takes a deep breath.  “And, having seen the whole thing from the window…”

She kneels in from of Danny and places an awkward hand on her shoulder.

“I can confidently say it wasn’t your fault.”

Danny’s eyebrows shoot up and her eyes widen.  “Really?”

“Yep.”  Carmilla nods.  “But don’t get used to this, short stack.  Get going.”

Danny flashes her a quick smile, pulls Laura in for a small hug, and walks out of the building.

 

“D’aww, you softie,” Laura gushes.

“Hush, you.”  Carmilla narrows her eyes at the smaller girl.  “I think Baggy is in our room missing our company.”

Laura snorts but starts to head back to their room anyway.  “I thought, ‘Bagheera is a stuffed panther and doesn’t have the sentient capabilities to desire us to do anything,’” she mocks.

Carmilla scoops her up and smiles at the squealing girl in her arms.  “Well, after a few hours of bonding with my mini-me, I might’ve changed my mind.”

Laura giggles.  “If Baggy is really your mini-me, then that means you _are_ a softie.”

“Keep it up, hon, and Bagheera could mysteriously wind up in the donations bin.”

Laura lets out a dramatic gasp and climbs out of Carmilla’s arms, running to the stuffed animal.  “You wouldn’t!”

“ _Just you test me_ ,” Carmilla teases.

Laura places Baggy next to the vampire defiantly, challenging her.

Carmilla rolls her eyes with a grin and scoops Bagheera and Laura closer to her before opening her book.  Laura smiles and lays her head on Carmilla’s chest, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I originally had Laura almost drown? I must've been in a weird mood when I wrote it haha.  
> I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas! They're already being incorporated into later chapters. I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Thanks for being amazing, y'all <3


	12. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of the previous day, Laura winds up catching a cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Since that episode was probably _way_ more than any of us were prepared for, angst-wise, _and_ we have this grueling five-day break ahead of us, I'll be posting two chapters to try and keep morale up! There's this one... and then I'll try to update again over the weekend.  
>  <3

Laura sneezes with such a force she almost knocks herself off the bed.

“Bless you!” LaFontaine’s voice rings out from the staircase.

“Thank you,” Laura replies nasally.

“Do you want me to––”

“LaFontaine, don’t you _dare_ go into that room without protecting yourself!”

“Per, I’m just gonna check if she needs more tissues––”

“You can _ask_ her from out here!  We don’t need anyone else getting sick!”

LaFontaine sighs.  “Laur, do you need more tissues?”

Laura giggles at the bickering redheads outside of her room.  “Actually, yeah I––”

 

A cloud of black smoke appears and Carmilla steps forth, clutching several plastic bags in her hands.

“I’ve got cold medication, tissues, cough syrup, oranges, tea, honey, and lemons,” Carmilla says, putting down the bags.

“Ix-nay on the tissues, thanks,” Laura calls out.

“Okay,” LaF replies, quietly being ushered away by Perry.

“We’ll be back with soup in a bit,” Perry adds.

 

Carmilla frowns at Laura.  “You sound worse than when I left.”

Laura sneezes again and the recoil causes her to bonk the back her head against the wall.  “Ow,” she pouts.

Carmilla chuckles softly and pulls the girl into a hug, burying a kiss in her hair.

“Who knew getting stuck out In a freak thunderstorm could be so detrimental,” Laura says flatly.  She launches into a coughing fit and Carmilla rises to give her some space and dig through the plastic bags.

“Yeah, next time, just leave Lawrence behind to drown,” the vampire deadpans.

“Or, better yet, I just shouldn’t back away from the falling branch and let it fall on me and kill me,” Laura adds.

Carmilla glances back at her with widened eyes.

“You started this whole dark humor thing,” Laura points out innocently.

“I didn’t think you’d go along with it,” Carmilla admits.

 

Laura sneezes again and dramatically flops forwards, landing face-first into the bed with a groan.  “Carm, I think I’m dying.”

The vampire smirks as she starts unpacking the bags.

Laura phone rings and she scowls at the caller ID before answering.

“Hey, dad…  Yeah, I know I sound funny––”

Carmilla turns to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

Laura coughs and moves the phone away from her for a few seconds.  “…I’m sick,” she says pathetically.

Carmilla pulls out the cold medication and cough syrup, setting aside the other items, while Laura’s eyes glaze over at whatever monologue her father is giving on the other end.

Laura sneezes again.  “Dad, I know, but we had this huge thunderstorm the other day that wasn’t in the forecast–– … Well, yeah, I was outside, because _it wasn’t in the forecast_ –– …Dad, I know… _I know_ … But we were right outside the building in the pool––”

Laura sighs as her father cuts her off again and bunches up her face as she picks at the edge of her blanket.

 

“Of course I remember how to swim,” she eventually says.

Perry knocks quietly on the door and Carmilla gets the bowl of soup from her and places it on the table.

Laura has another small coughing fit. “Dad, my friend Perry just made me soup, and Carmilla got me medicine and stuff for tea.  Can I just call you back when I’m done being sick and I’ll actually be able to focus on this lecture?”  She kicks her legs, annoyed, waiting for her father to finish his end of the conversation.  “Okay, love you, too. Bye.”

Laura sighs and drops backwards, pushing a pillow against her face.

 

“At least now we got your dad off your back and we can keep using this as an excuse until this age regression thing stops?” Carmilla offers.

Laura makes a muffled sound against the pillow. Carmilla snickers and starts to remove the pillow but Laura clutches onto it tighter.

“Cupcake, if you keep holding it against your face, you’re gonna suffocate.”

Laura makes no movements.

Carmilla bites her lip and grins. “Laura… did you sneeze with the pillow against your face?”

Laura and the pillow attached to her face make a motion that indicates nodding.

 

Carmilla chuckles, trying to contain it from reaching full-blown laughter.

“Not… Funny…” Laura mutters, still muffled.

“No, not at all,” Carmilla deadpans. “How about I guide you to the bathroom so you can wash your face, poptart?”

Laura and the pillow nod again, so Carmilla guides her into a sitting position and places a hand on her back to walk her to the bathroom.

Laura eventually walks back out, looking sheepish while clutching the pillow, sans pillowcase.

 

Carmilla gestures for her to come over to the bed.

“Open up,” the vampire commands.

Laura takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Well, it really bothers me that my dad is so overprotective.  I mean, how was I supposed to know that there would be a thunderstorm yesterday when none of the forecasts indicated there would be one?  And why would I get into a swimming pool if I couldn’t remember how to swim?  Besides, people catch colds all the time, especially when living in close proximity to others, which we do. I get that he’s worried about me since I watched my mom get mauled to death by a friggin’ bear during a camping trip, but not everything out in the world is out to get us, and I can’t keep living in his world where everything is––”

The small girl only stops her tirade because it’s spurred on a huge coughing fit, so Carmilla rubs soothing circles on her back until it finishes.

“I meant, open your mouth, spaz,” Carmilla finally clarifies.  “I was going to give you your medicine.”

“Oh.”  Laura blushes.

“But we can talk all about everything that’s bothering you afterwards, if you want.”  Carmilla gives her a soft, warm look.

Laura shakes her head.  “I, uh… I think I’m good.”

 

Carmilla gives her a soft kiss on the cheek and holds out a small medicine cup with a thick red liquid in it.

Laura frowns at the offensive odor. “I don’t want to drink that.”

The vampire rolls her eyes.  “Open your mouth, cutie.”

Laura grins mischievously and purposely tightens her lips, shaking her head.

 

Carmilla cuts her eyes at her. “Come _on_ , Laura,” she coaxes.  “Heeeere comes the TARDIS for a laaaanding…”

Laura tries to stifle a giggle.

Carmilla braces herself for what she’s about to do.

“Shhhwhhhhshhhhwhrrrrrshhhwhhhhshhhhwhrrrrr…” she tries, imitating the TARDIS engine sound.

Carmilla smirks when Laura finally lets a giggle escape and takes the medicine cup in defeat, downing the liquid. The small girl lets out a groan and bunches up her face.  Carmilla hands her a small cup of water to drink.

“You’re so silly, Carm,” Laura chuckles.

“You think that’s silly?” Carmilla asks, standing up to make tea.  She flashes her fangs at Laura and proceeds to speak.  “Thee thells thee thells by the thee thore.”

The small girl flops on her side, laughing loudly. Carmilla retracts her fangs and smiles, watching the little bundle of joy slowly try to recompose herself.

 

Carmilla sits the tea aside to brew and walks over, giving Laura a light kiss on the cheek.

“That’s better,” the vampire says warmly.

“What’s better?”

Carmilla shrugs.  “You were looking all sad and droopy before.  Just wanted to make you laugh.”

“Well, it worked,” Laura says, giving her a side hug.

Carmilla presses a kiss to Laura’s forehead and frowns. “Cupcake, you’re hot.”

“Gee, Carm–– I mean, thanks for the compliment–– but isn’t calling a five year old hot kinda creepy?”

Carmilla scoffs.  “I meant that you have a fever, Hollis.”

Laura beams back at her.  “I know what you meant.  And yeah, I guess I do feel warm…”

“I’ll be right back with some kind of fever reducer,” Carmilla says, rising from the bed.

 

She disappears in a puff of smoke and reappears in the apartment less than ten minutes later with another plastic bag.

Carmilla’s eyebrows furrow in confusion when she arrives to an empty bed.  “Laura?”

The small girl shuffles back into the room, looking worse for the wear.  “Carm,” she mumbles weakly, “I need you to help me find it…”

Carmilla puts down the bag and kneels down by the girl, her face filled with worry.  “Find what, cutie?”

“My nose,” Laura replies, sniffling. Her nose is red and swollen. “I sneezed so hard just now I think it flew off.”

Carmilla isn’t sure whether to laugh or pout at her, and winds up biting her cheeks trying to fight the grin making its way onto her face.  She gently boops her on the nose.  “Found it.”

“Don’t laugh, Carm, I’m serious,” Laura says, leaning her head against the vampire.

Carmilla jumps at how hot Laura’s head has become. “Okay, ” she soothes, gently shifting Laura away from her and leading her back to the bed.  “Let’s take care of this fever.”

 

Laura flops onto the bed and groans. “I’m overcooking.”

Carmilla laughs, ripping into the box of medication she just bought.  “I know, cupcake. I know.”

“I’m never ever, ever, _ever_ going outside _again_ ,” Laura continues dramatically.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Carmilla deadpans, sitting down next to her and handing her the pills.  “Take these and then go back to sleep,” she says, handing Laura her TARDIS mug to drink the tea.

Laura nods, blinking groggily as the cold medication from earlier is kicking in, and does as she’s told.  “ThankyouCarm,” she slurs out.

Carmilla chuckles softly, tucks her in, and sits in a chair nearby, opening a book to read while she watches Laura pass out.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, Laura rubs her eyes. Her nose feels less runny, and her throat seems to be less sore.  She rolls over and glances at the chair, which Carmilla is now asleep in. Her head is propped on her arm holding up her cheek and she’s snoring lightly.

Laura smiles and rolls out of bed, walking over with a pillow and one of the smaller blankets on the bed. She tucks the pillow and moves the vampire’s head so it’s resting on the pillow, and drapes the blanket over her.

Carmilla mumbles something unintelligible, and Laura gives her a light peck on the cheek.

Laura’s getting hungry and wants some of the soup Perry dropped off earlier, but before she leaves, she returns to the bed and grabs Bagheera.  She places the stuffed panther on the chair’s armrest and scribbles out a note that says, “Thank you for taking care of your cupcake!”

 

Carmilla wakes up ten mintues later and grins when she realizes she has a pillow, a blanket, and a sleepmate that she didn’t have when she fell asleep.  She gets up and makes her way to the bed, before falling asleep in it.

Laura returns, having finished the soup and the next dosage of cold medication, and wriggles her way into the vampire’s embrace as she goes back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only got about five-six more chapters for this fic written out that need to be edited, but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!!


	13. Beach Bums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The entire gang goes to the beach, where Laura is exceptionally clumsy and Carmilla is exceptionally patient and tolerant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two of this week's super-effort at throwing fluff at the fandom after episode 22 haha!<3  
> Enjoy!

Carmilla flips a page in her book before peering over it when she hears a grunt from Laura nearby.

The small girl has fallen–– again–– but she’s back up in no time, running after the small beach ball.  She throws it back towards her friends and gives a dorky wave. Carmilla merely smiles at her in return.

After a few minutes, Laura, wearing the same bathing suit she had on in the pool, comes bopping over and snuggles against the vampire, who’s hiding in the shade under a tree.

Carmilla considers burying a kiss in Laura’s hair, but she sees sand in it and thinks better of it.  “You’re warm, cutie,” she says softly.  “Are you sure you’re not still sick?”

Laura nods.  “It’s just from being in the sun, Carm.”

“Hmm.  Still, are we not questioning the fact that it’s pool-and-beach-weather during November?”

Laura shrugs.  “Danny and I asked the meteorology club about it, but they’re also too distracted by the nice weather–– aside from the occasional spontaneous thunderstorm–– to figure anything out.”

 

Danny runs up to them. “Hey, Laura, Kirsch and I are about to go swimming in the ocean.  Are you coming?”

“Yep.” She stands up. “Just gimme one minute.”

Danny nods and darts off again.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“Well, I know you said if you don’t want to be somewhere with us, you’d leave…” Laura bites her lip. “But if you _do_ decide to leave, I wouldn’t blame you,” she adds with a grin.

“I’m not going anywhere, creampuff,” Carmilla says warmly.

“Okay, bye!” Laura squeaks, toddling off to the water.

Carmilla smiles at hearing Laura’s laughter as she gets into a splash war with Danny, and Kirsch and continue with other shenanigans for almost an hour, eventually joined by Perry, and LaFontaine.

 

A chorus of voices calling Carmilla’s catches her attention and she looks up to see all of them frantically gesturing at her to come over.

She sighs, closes her book, and wanders over.  When she’s within earshot of them, she stops and crosses her arms.  “What is it?”

“Join us!” Laura yells out, grinning.

Carmilla scoffs, feigning extreme disgust at the mere idea.  “I don’t have a swimsuit or bikini on,” she replies, watching as the small girl bobs closer to shore.

“Go back to the apartment and get it,” Laura says, tripping a little on the sand once she’s out of the water.

“I don’t have one, cutie,” Carmilla drawls.

Laura pouts and sighs. “It’s not as fun without you there.”

Carmilla looks at her, amused.  “Well––”

 

“Heads up!” Mel calls.

Laura makes no attempts at movement and a beach ball flies right at her, hitting her in the face with a loud _smack_.   She clutches at the side of her face and bites her lip, letting out a small whimper.

Carmilla immediately kneels and gently removes Laura’s hand.  There’s a large red welt forming.  The others come running out of the water.

“How’s it look?” Laura asks, tears forming.

Carmilla sucks in a breath. “Ooh, it’s, uhm–– It’s certainly…”

“It _hurts_!” Laura wails, bursting into tears.

Carmilla hugs her. ”Yeah, it looks pretty painful, cupcake.”

“I said, ‘Heads up,’” Mel points out, crossing her arms.  The group turns and glares at her.  “What? I did!”

“She still has a head cold, you idiot,” Carmilla hisses.  “And she probably has ocean water in her ear.”

 

Mel scowls, but Danny elbows her.  “Fine, I’m sorry! Geez.”  She scoffs.  “I’ll go ask one of the vendors for some ice or something.”

She turns and leaves.

“Are you okay?” LaF asks.

“It just hurts but I’ll be fine, thanks,” Laura replies, sniffling.  “You guys can go back in the water.”

The others slowly move back into the ocean.

 

Laura lets out another whimper and Carmilla sighs, sitting in the sand and pulling the girl down to sit in her lap.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” she remarks dryly.

“It’s not my fault I have such a fat head,” Laura mutters.

“Yeah, well, now it’s just getting fatter.”  Carmilla smirks and lightly taps Laura on the nose.

Laura huffs. “I’m going to look like a lollipop.”

“Mmm,” Carmilla hums. “But a very cute lollipop.”

Mel returns and unceremoniously hands Laura a bag of ice before mumbling an apology and heading back to join the others.

Carmilla gingerly holds it against Laura’s face.

 

“You can go back to reading your book,” Laura says after a few moments.

“At this point I’m pretty sure your clumsiness is at a level where if I leave you with this bag of ice, you’d find a way to get frost bite,” Carmilla comments.

Laura bunches up her face and glares at her vampire.  “Meanie.”

Carmilla shrugs and gently removes Laura from her lap so she can stand up.  She hands the confused child the bag of ice. “Fine, if you don’t want me here…”

Laura gasps and drops the ice in the sand.  “No! No, I was joking!”

Carmilla grins and turns to leave, but stops when she feels small arms wrap around her.

“Don’t go don’t go don’t go…”

Carmilla chuckles as Laura doesn’t stop.

“I don’t know…” she continues teasing.

Laura giggles but continues begging, “Don’t go don’t go don’t go…”

 

Carmilla smirks. “I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now…”

Laura stops talking and scoffs. “‘Attacked?’  You have no idea what feeling attacked is,” she says. She turns her head towards her friends. “Guys!  Now!” she shouts as she lets go of Carmilla.

Carmilla’s eyes widen as Laura, Danny, LaFontaine, and Kirsch run out of the water and grab Carmilla, dragging her into the water before she has a chance to resist.

 

She’s waist-deep in the ocean by the time they release her, and her mouth drops open as she glares down Laura, who gulps.

“Okay, poptart,” she growls. “You wanted me in the water?” She gestures around her, her wet t-shirt and shorts clinging to her.  “You got me in the water.  Now are you prepared to deal with the consequences?”

Laura opens her mouth to respond, which is when Carmilla expertly times splashing her. Laura sputters and spits out water. The vampire gives her a few seconds to recover before splashing her again.

Laura yelps as she’s hit in the face with more water, but quickly retaliates.

“I guess her face is feeling better,” Mel grumbles to Danny.

Laura and Carmilla both hear her, and without a moment’s hesitation, turn and splash her.

Mel, for her part, looks highly offended, but not more so than Danny, who was hit as an innocent bystander.

“Rude!” the small redhead shouts out, splashing Laura back.

Carmilla avenges her tiny human, then Kirsch wades over and avenges Danny–– and that’s all it takes before there’s all-out war in the ocean.

 

For a few minutes, everyone is splashing each other, and Carmilla even gets another lucky strike on Laura, who gasps a _whyyouuuuu_ before rushing and tackling the vampire into the water.  They’re both completely breathlessly laughing as Carmilla playfully pushes Laura off her.

LaFontaine nudges Perry, who’s been standing on the side.  “Why aren’t you joining?”

Perry frowns. “I understand we’re children, but that doesn’t mean we have to _act_ childish.”  She looks over at Carmilla, who’s standing nearby, still wrestling a giggling Laura. “Besides, Carmilla is going to catch a cold.”

This catches Carmilla’s attention, and she turns around to face Perry.  “Nuh uh, Red,” she says, grinning.  “If I’m participating in this foolishness, so are you.”

Perry starts to object, but before she can, Laura, LaFontaine, and Carmilla all splash her. It takes a few moments of protesting and insisting that splashing was pointless before she finally retaliates. Soon enough, she’s laughing as hard as everyone else.

 

The group eventually tires itself out more or less and decides it’s time to leave the water.

They wander back to the tree they had placed their large beach blanket under and start drying themselves off with towels.

Laura turns to hand Carmilla one, but finds herself startled by the sight of Carmilla _shaking water off of herself like a cat_. She’s basically gyrating in place and twisting slightly.

Laura bursts out in laughter and the others look to see what’s causing it.  When they see the vampire still drying herself off, they join in the laughter.  Carmilla scowls at them, but within moments, she’s dry.  Only her slightly damp clothes betray that she’s been in the water at all.

“You’re all just jealous at how much more effective my method is,” she growls.

Laura rolls her eyes. “Whatever you say, _Catmilla_.”

  

* * *

 

 

The sun is starting to set and the group has decided it’s time to call it a day.

“Wait, wait!” Laura calls, crawling from her spot near Danny and Kirsch towards Carmilla, who’s about to stand up.  “We need to take a selfie!”

The vampire rolls her eyes. “Do we?”

Laura holds out her phone and Carmilla stares down blankly at the device.

“I am not taking a selfie with you.”

“Why not?” Laura whines. “It’s our first beach day together!”

“Because you are a child. Literally.”  Carmilla huffs.  “Whenever we get this all fixed, I don’t think we’ll be all too happy with reminders that we spent this long with you being pint-sized.”

Laura scowls at her. “I don’t care what you say,” she says, holding out her arm.  “I’m taking this picture with both of us in it.  Whether you’re looking into the camera is you prerogative.”

 

Laura has to shift a bit to get both of them in frame, but her foot slips, and she winds up snapping the picture as she falls into the sand.

Carmilla manages to catch the phone as it falls from Laura’s hand.

Laura pushes herself up with a groan.  “Sure, save my phone,” she mutters.

Carmilla looks at the screen and lets out a snort, which turns into laughter.  “I’m so happy I did,” she gasps out.

She turns the phone so Laura can see the most recent picture taken, which is slanted and shows a blurry, screaming Laura and a startled Carmilla in the background.

Danny walks over and breaks out into giggles.  “This picture is the epitome of your relationship!”

Laura tries to maintain her scowl, but it doesn’t last long, and she winds up laughing as hard as the other two before Carmilla saves it as her phone’s wallpaper.

“And now it looks like we’re both trapped in my phone,” Laura giggles.

“You dork.” Carmilla rolls her eyes but is still chuckling. “Come on, let’s help fold up this huge blanket.”

 

Perry and LaFontaine already have two corners.  Kirsch, Theo, Mel, and Danny are collecting the rest of their things.

Carmilla and Laura grab the other two corners and slowly, the four try to fold it up. There’s a mix-up, and while Carmilla and Perry have got their half done, LaF and Laura have somehow messed up.

“What did we––” Laura contorts herself to figure out where the mistake was, but trips again and takes the whole blanket with her.

She pushes herself back up and realizes she’s been engulfed in darkness.  And she can hear laughter–– a lot of it.

Carmilla’s laughter is closest to her.

“Carm, why is everyone laughing?” Laura asks.

She hears a phone camera shutter sound.

“What was that?”

“Oh, uhm… Nothing, nothing…” LaF answers.

“Laura, honey, you’re standing under the middle of the blanket,” Carmilla replies, snickering. “You look like a small confused child trying to be a ghost for Halloween and failing miserably.”

 

“Oh.” She giggles.  “Can you help me get out?”

There’s no answer for a few seconds.

“Hello?” Still no answer. “Hellooo _oo_?”

Laura huffs and picks a random direction and starts moving that way.  When she finally emerges, she doesn’t see anyone.

 

She stands there for a bit, trying to get her bearings when two hands wrap around her waist.

“Boo,” Carmilla whispers into Laura’s ear.  Laura jumps and spins around and everyone is clumped behind her.

Laura giggles and playfully pushes her.  “ _Not funny_ ,” she says, feigning anger.

Carmilla holds up Laura’s phone and opens the camera roll, swiping from the failed selfie earlier, to a picture of a large blanket lying flat on the sand, with a small bump in the middle.

“I dunno, it seems pretty funny to me,” Carmilla smirks.

“Wow, I’m so photogenic,” Laura remarks dryly.

Carmilla chuckles and kisses her on the cheek.

 

She doesn’t tell Laura that she also sent all of her friends copies of those pictures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Mdok, who commented on Chapter 10 with the idea of Carmilla shaking water off of her as a cat :)  
> I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	14. Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla gets sick after that trip to the beach, chasing away everyone that tries to take care of her except Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how I feel after 2x23... but today's my birthday ^-^  
> So I thought I'd thank you all for getting me through another year by throwing more fluff at the fandom <3  
> Stay awesome, peeps :D

“Thanks for coming with me, guys,” Laura says to Kirsch and LaFontaine.  “There’s no way I could’ve carried all this stuff myself.”

“We’re just lucky we still have cold medicine leftover from when you got sick,” LaF points out.  “They don’t let kids buy that stuff.”

Kirsch huffs. “Not being able to buy alcohol on your own _sucks_ , bros.”

Laura nods and frowns.  “It also sucks that all of our attention spans are so short that the Alchemy club and the Chemistry Society and the Meteorology club can’t figure anything out.”

Kirsch rushes to hold open the door for Laura and LaFontaine to enter the apartment building.

 

Before they can get any further, Perry storms up to them.  “I don’t know if it’s because my rage is stuffed into this tiny body,” she fumes, “but I _cannot_ deal with Carmilla when she’s like this!” She storms past them out the door, muttering incoherent things as her voice reaches octaves only dogs can hear.

Laura bites her lip and leads the other two upstairs, gesturing to wait in the hallway when she peers into the room and sees various objects strewn about.

“I swear to God, if that’s you again, you cherry with legs––”

“––Whoa, whoa, Carm, it’s just me,” Laura says, putting the bags down and holding her hands up in the air.

She watches as Carmilla’s face softens. Her nose is red and swollen, and her eyes are sunken.

“Cupcake,” she greets, her voice nasally. “Ugh, don’t leave me alone with her anymore.  She kept saying, ‘I told you staying in those wet clothes at the beach would make you sick.’” Carmilla’s voice goes up several octaves during her impersonation.  “Like that’s really what I need to hear right now.”

 

Laura gives a small chuckle and sticks her head back into the hallway, giving Kirsch and LaF a small nod that it’s safe to come in and drop off the stuff.  They do so, before quickly scampering back out.  Laura trails behind them.

“Thanks again, guys.  I’ll take it from here.”

Kirsch shakes his head and laughs. “You’re a brave soul, Laura.”

LaF nods in agreement.  “If she managed to chase off even Perry…  Man, Hollis.  Good luck.”

Laura gives them a small wave before walking back in to unpack the bags.

She places a new box of tissues next to Carmilla on the bed and starts heating some water for tea.

“When’s the last time you fed?” she asks.

“Whenever the last time you fed me was.” Carmilla sniffles and lets out a small cough.  “Gingersnap kept getting all squeamish on me.”

Laura giggles and heads to the fridge to get out another blood bag.  She crawls onto the bed and twists to help Carmilla feed from it.

 

“I feel like an invalid,” Carmilla groans when she’s finished the blood pack.

Laura laughs and pulls a tissue from the box, dabbing at a drop that’s at the edge of Carmilla’s lips.  “Well, you’re the prettiest-looking invalid I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks for the compliment,” Carmilla replies dryly. “You’re saying that as if you’ve seen a bunch of invalids.”

Laura swallows hard but remains silent as she rolls off the bed, disposing of the blood bag.

She goes to stop the water heater and start brewing the tea.

Carmilla sneezes again and flops back down, grumbling.

Laura walks out of the room for a few moments before returning with the cold medicine.  “Time for your next dose, sicky.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “Not really fond of your nicknames, cutie.”

Laura rolls her eyes and bounces back on the bed. “And I’m not fond of being so tiny that I can’t feed you or give you the medication by just standing next to the bed,” she snaps back.  “Stop complaining and take your medicine.”

“You’re bossy when I’m sick,” Carmilla notes.

“I’m always bossy,” Laura replies. “ _You’re_ just more whiney when you’re sick.”

Carmilla chuckles and chugs the medication from the medicine cup.

The medicine kicks in relatively quickly and she doses off. 

 

She isn’t sure how long she’s been asleep for, but she’s suddenly woken up by a sudden weight on the bed and someone else frantically shaking her.

Carmilla assumes it’s Laura, so she leans forward and presses a kiss against the girl’s cheek.  Her eyes snap open when the girl starts screaming bloody murder. She stares at a tiny, angry redhead in front of her.

“Ew!  Ew!! Carmilla kissed me!  _Ew_!  I think I’m gonna be sick––”  Danny does some dry heaving–– “Ugh!  _Ugh_!!  Someone has to sterilize my face _right now!_ ”

“What is it?” Carmilla grumbles, ignoring the hysterical child in front of her.

Danny narrows her eyes at her. “What the hell did you do to Laura?” she demands.

 _That_ gets Carmilla’s attention.  “What?”

Danny gestures towards the other side of the bed, and Carmilla sees Laura sleeping.  Kirsch and LaFontaine look less angry than Danny, but more distraught.

“We found the little dude passed out in the middle of the living room floor,” Kirsch explains.

 

Laura stirs slightly and opens her eyes slightly, before they droop closed again.  She mumbles something incoherently.

“What did you say?” LaF presses lightly.

“Carm… cold medication dose…” Laura says weakly.

LaF shakes their head.  “Laur, when was the last time you ate?  Or slept?”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “She hasn’t slept in this bed the whole time I’ve been sick,” she realizes, mentally slapping herself.  “I’ve just been drifting in and out and I didn’t notice. How long have I been sick?”

“A few days,” Danny answers.

“When was the last time you ate?” LaF repeats.

“Yesterday?” Laura replies barely above a whisper.

“That’s what we thought,” LaF says, sighing and rolling their eyes.  “Perry’s coming with some soup for the both of you.”

 

As if on cue, Perry appears with two large containers. LaF, Danny, and Kirsch quickly set up two small collapsible tables and manage to carefully feed Laura.

Carmilla lets out a sigh of relief when Laura finally manages to fully wake up and sit up to feed herself. The others leave, but not before Laura asks Perry to bring in Carmilla’s cold medication.

“You’re an idiot,” Carmilla says, taking a sip of her blood pack.

Laura frowns.  “Am not.”

“Are too,” Carmilla sneers.  “Laura, I appreciate you taking care of me while I’m sick, but not when it’s detrimental to your own health.”

“I know,” Laura admits.  “But you kept waking up right when the next dose would be, or it’d be time for more blood, or I’d need to get you something from the store…”

“Why didn’t you ask your friends to help?” Carmilla asks softly, noticing that nowhere in Laura’s answer did it sound like the girl was blaming her for her own weakened condition.

“I tried, but…”  Laura bites her lip. 

Carmilla sighs.  “But I kept chasing them away.”

 

Laura nods slowly.  “But I mean, you’re my girlfriend.  I’m supposed to be able to take care of you when you’re sick.” She shrugs.  “I’m pretty sure it’s in the Girlfriend Code.”

Carmilla looks over at Laura and gives her a small smile.  “Well, there should be an addendum to that section, specifying that if you’ve been turned into a small child, then it is not necessary to continue going above and beyond.”

Laura laughs softly but still seems pretty frustrated with herself.

“Laura, hon,” Carmilla says, pulling Laura closer to her side, “you’re an amazing girlfriend.  And you’re going to continue being an amazing girlfriend. But not if you drop dead from starvation and sleep deprivation, okay?”

Laura nods and gives Carmilla a small peck on the cheek.

Carmilla chuckles and lets her go, scooping up more soup–– except she sneezes right as the spoon is nearing her lips, and the soup splatters upwards, all over her chin and shirt.

 

Laura clicks her tongue.  “You’re a mess,” she teases, pulling out tissues and dabbing at Carmilla, who just grins sheepishly.

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ mess.”

Laura rolls her eyes with a giggle, shoveling a spoonful of soup into her mouth.  Carmilla starts to warn her, but she’s too slow, and by the way Laura’s eyes widen comically, the soup was way too hot.

Laura starts frantically flapping her hands and groaning.

“S-Sp-Spit it out!” Carmilla shouts.

Laura raises an eyebrow but does as told, and soup dribbles down her chin.  “Ah burr mah mauf, Crm,” she whines pitifully.

Carmilla smirks and reuses the tissue Laura had plucked earlier, wiping her chin.  “Now who’s a mess?”

Laura cuts her eyes at her.  “But I’m your mess?”

Carmilla laughs.  “Yes, you are, cutie.”

 

Footsteps enter the room and Perry lets out a disgusted gasp, followed by a frustrated groan.

“I leave you two for a few seconds and you’ve spit my soup all over the bed like it’s some scene from _The Exorcist_!  I can’t believe this mess!  How am I supposed to change the bed when you’re both basically bedridden?  And there are just tissues _everywhere_! Have you not heard about using a _garbage_ can before? You know?  Like, Oscar the Grouch’s _home_?––”

“Watching her do this normally is already pretty amusing,” Carmilla whispers to Laura, but loud enough for Perry to overhear. “Watching her do this while stuck in a five-year-old body is even funnier.”

Laura giggles.  “Do you think if we get her mad enough, her hair will pop off?”

“It _would_ make an excellent mop top,” Carmilla remarks.

“ _Excuse me_ ,” Perry cuts in sharply, her voice growing even more shrill. “Are you two _quite_ done?”

“No,” they answer at the same time. She looks at them exasperatedly, at a loss for words.

 

Carmilla lets out a cough but doesn’t bother covering her mouth, purposely aiming it towards a horrified Perry. She even goes so far as to prolong her coughing fit.

“ _Lauuuura,_ ” Perry yells out.  “Make her _stop_!”

Laura frowns downward.  “I, uh, think I spilled some soup on the pillow, too, Per.”

“ _You two are IMPOSSIBLE!_ ” Perry roars, storming back out of the room.

Carmilla and Laura break out into hysterics, holding their stomachs in laughter.

“More soup, please!” Carmilla calls out.

“And some soda!” Laura adds.

They’re both surprised when an aggravated Perry shouts back, “What flavor?!”

 

A little while later, Perry sends Danny and Kirsch up with the soup and soda, declaring that she has reached her limit with them.

They walk in to find the couple asleep on the bed, Laura curled up against Carmilla, who has an arm draped lazily over Laura.

 

Perry eventually comes back, armed with gloves and a mask, and cleans around them, leaving Carmilla’s next dose of cold medicine on the nightstand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [Saiori](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiori/pseuds/Saiori) for giving me the idea back in the comments section in Chapter 10 :D  
> I've only got about 5-6 more chapters for this fic written out that need to be edited, but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	15. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang heads over to a nearby pet store to play with the animals while LaFontaine goes shopping for Squeakers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I know some of us feel like we're in a bit of a rut right now with the show :/  
> I wasn't gonna do an update coz that ep was pretty angst-free but I was skimming on my dash after traveling for four+ hours today and saw some disgruntled peeps and it all seems to be festering to the point where y'all are taking it out on each other or otherwise suffering  
> SO in order to continue with the whole point of this fic, I'm posting an update <3  
> Enjoy!

Carmilla squints when her brain registers that a sliver of sunlight is hitting her in the face.  She takes a deep breath and rolls over to avoid it, happy that her cold seems to finally be over.

Laura is asleep next to her, her chin pressed against Carmilla’s shoulder, her hair splayed across her face, and her mouth half-open.  She’s snoring softly and mumbles something before rolling over.

Carmilla chuckles softly.

Laura and her friends had been stuck in their five year old bodies for a little over a couple months now, but they seemed to be making do with what they were given.  Truth be told, sometimes Carmilla’s frustration with the whole thing still flares up, but when she sees Laura’s big smile, or feels her tackle her into a hug, it dies down pretty quickly.

In fact, it’s almost as if the entire experience has reinforced how much Carmilla loves Laura, and how much Laura loves Carmilla.  Laura is still the same girl who accepts Carmilla for who she is, but pushes her to be the best she can be.

Carmilla’s lips twitch into a smile.

 

And as quick as the smile appears, it disappears when Laura rolls over again and smacks Carmilla right in the face.

Carmilla mouth drops open in mild shock as Laura continues sleeping, giving no sign that she’s the least bit aware she just whacked her vampire.

The petty, vindictive side of Carmilla takes over, and before she can stop herself, she raises her own hand and taps Laura on the cheek.  It’s a light pat, and Laura continues snoring.

Carmilla smirks as she does it again, a little harder this time–– still no response.

“What the cheeky hell?” Carmilla mutters. She curls her hand back and lets her hand fly harder, and this time the contact is accompanied by an audible _whap_.

Laura makes a small snorting sound, wrinkles her nose, smacks her lips together, and then goes right back to snoring.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow and continues staring at Laura in disbelief.  She briefly considers pulling out the yellow pillow from under Laura’s head and using that to hit Laura with next.

 

Laura’s cell phone alarm starts ringing and her eyes open slowly.  She rolls over and shuts it off.

“Oh, sure, _that_ wakes you up,” Carmilla grumbles, shifting onto her back.

Laura rolls back over to face her. “Hmm?” she asks sleepily.

Carmilla shakes her head.  “Nothing, cutie.”

Laura frowns and places a hand on her cheek. “Wow, I must’ve slept on one side for too long, or something.  My cheek is sore.”

Carmilla tries to stifle a snicker, but Laura catches it.

“ _Carm_ ,” she says suspiciously, “what did you do?”

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla huffs and crosses her arms. “I’m not going in there, Laura.”

“B-But we’re all going in,” Laura says, confused. The weather is still uncharacteristically warm for November, so Laura picks at the fraying ends of her shorts. “Why are you just going to stand out here by yourself?”

“I don’t like animals,” Carmilla growls.

“Carm,” Laura giggles.  “You can turn into a big black cat!”

“And I’m territorial, and an animal purist, and I don’t play well with humans, let alone with animals below my threshold for greatness,” Carmilla snarks.  “Therefore, I don’t like animals.”

“Fine,” Laura sighs.  “Your loss for not being able to see the _adorable_ kittens and puppies.”

 

Laura goes inside with the others and Carmilla stands outside scowling for a couple minutes before Danny bursts out of the store, grabbing Carmilla’s arm.

“What?” she sneers.

“You have to come in quick!” Danny says urgently. “One of the huge rescue dogs bit Laura! They’ve already called for an ambulance––”

Carmilla doesn’t let her finish as she rushes into the store.

 

Danny slowly enters behind her, trying not to visibly shrink under the vampire’s glare.

Laura is perfectly unharmed, giggling as she’s surrounded by a large litter of kittens.

“She made me do it,” Danny insists before leaving them alone.

“It was the only way to get you in here and keep you from brooding out there,” Laura replies, giggling at the mewling ball of fur rubbing itself against her.

“I wasn’t brooding,” Carmilla grumbles.

“Yeah, sure,” Laura states flatly. “Just like this kitten isn’t adorable.” She holds up an exotic shorthair kitten and it mews at Carmilla.  “Besides, the storeowners were saying that you were scaring away potential customers.”

 

Carmilla lets out a resigned sigh and sits down near Laura, watching as the kittens swarm the small girl.  “Where are the others?”

“LaF and Perry are checking out mice accessories for Squeakers.  Danny and Kirsch are with the puppies.”

A small black kitten, the only one in the litter, pads over towards Carmilla and doesn’t hesitate before curling up in her lap. It nuzzles its face against Carmilla’s knee.

Laura walks over to Carmilla and giggles. “Aww, Carm!”

Carmilla frowns and scoops up the small creature and brings it to eye level.  “Listen, you tiny hairball––”

It reaches out a paw and pats her on the nose before it begins purring.

“Ooh, you’re soooo terrifying,” Laura comments, laughing.

 

Carmilla scoffs and plops the kitten back down on the ground, groaning when it simply inches closer and snuggles up against her again.

“See?  Isn’t this better than being outside alone?” Laura says smugly.

“No,” Carmilla grumps.

Laura rolls her eyes but stands up and holds out her hand.  Carmilla stares at it with a raised eyebrow.

“Let’s go check out the puppies,” Laura says.

Carmilla bites her lip and looks down at the tiny feline pressed up against her.  “I think I’ll stay out here,” she states.

Laura starts to tease her but thinks better of it and heads off to join Danny and Kirsch.

 

She walks in and finds a pile of puppies on top of a laughing Kirsch, and Danny playing fetch with a few others.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Danny says, tossing Laura the ball.  “Kirsch and I have to go to some hot dog-eating competition between the Zetas and Summers.” She gives Laura a small hug and looks at Kirsch expectantly from the doorway.

“Dude, we’re gonna totally beat you,” Kirsch says, gently nudging the puppies off of him.  “Zetas love eating some wieners.”

Danny and Laura share a look. Laura shrugs, giggling.

“Do you even listen to yourself when you speak?” Danny demands, shoving him a bit.

He grins at her.  “No, but it doesn’t matter as long as you do.”

Danny lets out a frustrated groan and yanks him out of the room.  After a few seconds, she pops her head back in.  “By the way, there’s a huge older puppy, almost-dog in the corner but apparently it doesn’t enjoy visitors as much.  Just warning you, because a couple times it barked suddenly and scared me.”

“Thanks, Danny,” Laura says, tossing the ball gently at the puppies, which yip and lightly push each other to get the ball.

 

She spots the dog in the corner and makes a mental note of it so she doesn’t accidentally toss the ball that way.

At least ten minutes pass, and Laura finds herself swarmed by puppies, climbing over each other to bark playfully at her. The ball is barely fazing them as they’ve taken to just pushing their way up her leg.  Laura is giggling constantly, trying to make sure each puppy gets the same amount of attention.

In fact, she’s so engrossed in dividing her attention equally that she doesn’t notice the large pit bull that was in the corner has become curious from the girl’s unbridled laughter and has wandered over.

It isn’t until she feels it nudge its nose against her lower back that she turns and beams at it.  “Hey, there!”

It cocks its head to the side and nudges her again. She tries to turn to play with it, but the other puppies are still clinging to her, so she awkwardly twists and gently ruffles the pit bull.

This time, while nudging her, it uses more force. This, combined with the other puppies attached to her, cause her to lose her balance and fall forward.

 

The puppies manage to clear out of the way, and Laura lands ungracefully with a grunt.  Being in shorts, she manages to scrape her knee upon landing.

Carmilla’s at the doorway in an instant, still holding onto the small black kitten she had been bonding with when Laura left.

“I smelled your blood and got worried,” Carmilla explains quickly, hushed.  An employee enters right afterwards, staring at the scene before her.

“Oh my,” the woman says, concerned. “This is so strange. That dog doesn’t normally interact with visitors, especially not children.”

Laura rolls herself over and is about to push herself up when the pit bull lunges forward and licks her face. “Oof,” Laura grunts out.

“Are you okay?” the woman asks.

Laura giggles.  “Yep.  I didn’t notice her coming up behind me and she sorta just toppled me over.”

The woman smiles as she watches the dog continue snuggling up to the small girl, who’s laughter seems to be encouraging the dog.

 

LaFontaine comes up from behind them and grins at seeing Laura pinned beneath the large dog.

“Uhm, excuse me, but I’ve picked the sleeper and hideout I want for my pet, Squeakers,” they say to the employee. “Can you show us your selection of chew toys, now?”

“Oh, _LaFontaine_!” a disgruntled Perry groans down the hall.  “This is ridiculous!”

“How would _you_ feel if I took away all your cleaning supplies, Per?” LaF snaps back. “I don’t want Squeakers to be lacking in _anything_.”

The woman stifles some laughter and gestures back down the hall.  “Yes, I can show you the chew toys.”

Carmilla waits until the three go into another room before smirking down at Laura, who’s finally liberated herself from the pit bull.

 

“I wanna keep her, Carm,” Laura says softly.

Carmilla feels a lump form in her throat. She had known Laura would eventually ask for _something_ in this pet store, and she thought she’d be prepared to turn her down, but Laura seemed to really have a connection with this dog.

Laura turns and looks at Carmilla with wide puppy eyes. “Or get that kitten you’re getting attached to…”

Carmilla looks down at the adorable purring mass in her hands and swallows hard.  “Laura…”

“But we can’t, I know,” Laura says, still petting the dog and the puppies around her.

Carmilla was _not_ prepared for this.  “You do?”

Laura frowns and shrugs.  “I’m not _that_ oblivious.” She sighs.  “We’re still living at Silas and we’re still attending classes at Silas.  Silas–– where things like a massive fish god eats virgins and dorm buildings can collapse and crazy vampire hunters can brainwash people and the entire student population gets turned into children–– happen.”

Carmilla’s heart breaks at the look of defeat on Laura’s face.

 

“We can’t bring a pet into all of that. We can barely keep ourselves safe. Bringing a pet we love into our home and risking something happening to it…  It seems wrong, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Carmilla nods, needing a moment to steady her voice. 

Laura looks so small, engulfed in a pool of puppies, but to Carmilla in this moment, Laura has never seemed bigger.

Carmilla clears her throat.  “We, uh, could always get you a pet rock,” she says, attempting to lighten the mood.

It works and Laura smiles.  “I don’t know if I’m read for such an awesome responsibility.”

“Just a suggestion, cutie,” Carmilla replies.

 

“Hey, guys, she’s ringing us up,” LaF calls as they walk towards the front of the store.  “Are you good?”

Carmilla and Laura share a look before Carmilla answers, “Yeah, we’re fine.”

Laura hugs the pit bull goodbye and quickly pats the other puppies before rising and walking towards Carmilla, who shifts the kitten to one hand and scoops Laura up with the other.

“How’s your knee?” she asks, kissing Laura on the cheek as they head towards the front.

“There’s certainly less of it,” Laura answers gravely.

“Okay, drama queen,” Carmilla drawls. Laura giggles and kisses Carmilla back on the cheek.

 

Carmilla gently places the small kitten back with the others. “Bye, Beelzebub,” she whispers. To her credit, Laura doesn’t react, except with a small smile.

Carmilla turns around and stands with Laura while LaFontaine is at the cash register.  “Hey. Laura?”

“Hmm?”

“Things may be crappy and unsafe right now,” Carmilla begins slowly.  “But one day, when we’re done at Silas, we’ll get our own place away from here, and we can get a lonely pit bull, or a tiny black kitten, or whatever else you want, okay?”

“Sounds great, Carm.”  Laura beams up at Carmilla and hugs her.  “But all I _want_ is you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter was inspired during some late-night headcanon rambling with [ravnreeyes](ravnreeyes.tumblr.com) :)  
> Also, I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas here and on tumblr! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!  
> 


	16. Tag! No Taksies Backsies!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When another thunderstorm leaves the gang trapped in the apartment, they try to find ways to keep themselves entertained, including chasing each other around. Carmilla _just_ realizes she's losing her reputation as a badass vampire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes just started for me again in full force, as well as work and meetings and a senior thesis... which means my brain didn't quite process today's episode. _But_ I'm getting the vague sense people were upset ;)  
>  So here's an update. I edited to the best of my ability hahaha. Enjoy! <3

“I am not helping you put this together, LaFontaine,” Perry asserts.  There’s a crash of thunder outside and lightning streaks across the sky.  “I already can’t believe you spent so much money yesterday on a pet rat.”

“ _Mouse_ ,” LaF corrects, trying to jam two pieces of a wheel together to assemble it. “And Squeakers isn’t _just_ a pet mouse.”

Danny lets out a snort.  “I _would_ get stuck here during a thunderstorm to have to pick between you two bickering or Elvira and Laura upstairs.”

Perry opens her mouth to reply when screaming and yelling are heard as small footsteps echo in the staircase.

Suddenly, there’s frantic banging at the door, followed by Laura’s desperate pleas of, “Let-me-in, let-me-in, _let-me-in_!”

Danny is the closest to the door and opens it, her mouth dropping open.

“LET ME IN!” Laura shouts, pushing past a startled Danny and slamming the door closed behind her.

 

“Hollis…” LaFontaine says, staring at Laura while Danny and Perry try to stifle their laughter.  “What… the… hell…”

Laura is barricading the door with her tiny body, panting heavily.  She has two pigtails, tied with small pink bows.  One is more sloppy than the other, as if Laura torn away in the middle of the process.

“Oh, cupcake,” Carmilla calls through the door, her tone all too sweet.  “You should let me fix that second one.”

“Carmilla used her vampire speed to put pigtails on me!” Laura wails.

There’s a snicker on the other side of the door. “Doesn’t she look adorable, though?”

Danny and Perry are still giggling when the former nods. “This is quite a cute look on you, Laura,” Danny agrees, ignoring a glare from her.

“You’re not helping, Danny.”

 

A small cloud of black smoke appears in the room, showing a very amused Carmilla.  “Aww, buttercup, you look so endearingly edible.”

Laura narrows her eyes at the vampire. “You’re impossible,” she snaps, pulling out her pigtails.  She throws open the door and storms out, trailed closely by Carmilla.

They stay in silence until they reach their room, where Laura goes straight for a package of cookies.  She takes one out and chews it forcefully, still scowling.

Carmilla chuckles and takes a cookie for herself. A few more moments of silence pass before Carmilla sighs.  “You’re not really mad at me, are you?”

Laura scoffs before flashing her a grin. “Of course not.”

Carmilla lets out a small sight of relief before reaching for a cookie at the same time as Laura.  They both peer into the package and see that there’s one cookie left.

“Dibs!” Laura calls out.

Carmilla scoffs and grabs the cookie anyway.

“I said, ‘dibs,’” Laura growls.

Carmilla sneers at her.  “Vampires are above such _powerful_ human laws.”

Laura bunches up her face and pouts. Carmilla laughs and is unprepared when Laura quickly slaps the cookie out of her hand and catches it with a triumphant cry, running for the door.

 

“You sneaky little poptart,” Carmilla says, actually impressed.

Laura giggles and sticks out her tongue before darting up the stairs, this time heading for the solarium.

 

She’s not surprised when she sees that Carmilla has already “beaten” her up there, having teleported.  Laura already has the cookie broken in half and grins at her, handing her the bigger half before plopping herself down on one of the couches.  Lightning streaks across the sky outside.

“You gave me the bigger half,” Carmilla notes, setting aside her cup of blood.

“Yup.”

“You should take the larger half, cutie.”

“Sorry, Carm,” Laura says, biting into her piece, “no taksies backsies.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes and strolls over. Laura watches her warily, but is unprepared when Carmilla shoves the other half into Laura’s mouth and laughs as the girl chokes a bit, crumbs flying out.

Someone clears their throat from behind them, and they turn to see a very disappointed, disapproving Perry.

“Did you know,” she says slowly, “that every year, almost four thousand perfectly healthy people die from choking on food?”

 

Carmilla lets out a snort.  “Well, I wouldn’t call Laura _perfectly healthy_ so…”

“Hey,” Laura huffs.

“Anyway,” Perry says, “we’re going downstairs to play in the basement, if you want to join.  Danny invited Kirsch and he should be here soon.”

She turns and leaves and Laura finishes chewing the cookie that was rudely shoved into her mouth before offering Carmilla what is remaining of her half.

Carmilla grins and takes it as they head towards the elevator in the solarium.

“Ah, I forgot my blood,” she says when they call the elevator.  “Hold the door for me.”

Laura smirks and steps inside, pressing the button to close the door.  They start to close and Carmilla’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise from across the solarium.

“Consider it revenge for the cookie!” Laura shouts out.

A puff of smoke appears in the elevator as the doors close.  Carmilla sneers down at Laura.

Laura crosses her arms.  “Dammit.”

“Takes a lot more than that to get rid of me, cupcake.”

 

Laura grins mischievously and spontaneously decides to press _every_ single button in the elevator.

“Oh. My. God.”  Carmilla buries her face in her hands as the elevator goes down one floor and the doors open.

 _Ding_.

She taps the button to close the door and the elevator goes down another floor.

 _Ding_.

Carmilla sucks her teeth and doesn’t even bother pressing the button.

“You started it,” Laura grumbles when the elevator goes down to the first floor.

 _Ding_.

“You’re killing me, Hollis.”

They see a drenched Kirsch running through the front door and his eyes widen.  “Wait, bros! Hold the eleva––”

The doors close on him as Laura and Carmilla share a guilty look before bursting into giggles and they go down to the basement.

 _Ding_.

 

They step out and Carmilla gives Laura a light smack on the shoulder.  Laura giggles and watches as Carmilla chuckles softly and heads to sit on a couch in the corner.

Kirsch slowly descends down the steps. “Thanks for holding the elevator, dude,” he says pointedly to Laura, who gives him a sheepish grin.

“Sorry about that,” she apologizes.

He shrugs and gives her a warm smile.

 

A game of tag starts, with Laura volunteering to be ‘it.’ She manages to get LaFontaine first when they jump in front of a tag meant for Perry.

“Tag!  You’re it!” she giggles.

Perry gives LaF a grateful smile and laughs as LaFontaine barely misses tagging Kirsch.  He grabs Danny and shoves her towards LaFontaine, but she manages to stop her own momentum before they tag her.

 

Laura and Danny are an equal distance away from LaF, and they both realize this at the same time and run away. LaF quickly judges that Danny’s legs are shorter so therefore she’s slower than Laura, and chases after her. After a few seconds of circling around the basement, LaFontaine tags Danny.

It takes a lot longer for Danny to pass on the title of being “it.”  She misses Laura a few times, doesn’t come close to reaching Perry or Kirsch, and finally gives up going after LaFontaine.  She finally manages to quickly whirl around and tag Kirsch.

“Finally, D-bear,” he teases. She growls something at him and his mouth drops open.

“Language,” Perry teases lightly.

Danny doesn’t seem too amused, but she doesn’t reply.

Kirsch goes after Laura but she moves too suddenly and swiftly for his lumbering attempts, and LaFontaine and Perry are now working together as a team, nullifying any attempts he makes to tag either one of them.

He finally manages to make a lucky swipe and tag Danny.

“Ugh!  _Again_?”  She’s quickly growing agitated.

Laura notices and looks uneasy. “Uhm, maybe we should stop pla––”

“––Shut it, Hollis.  We’re continuing,” Danny growls.

 

Carmilla looks over towards Laura, cocking an eyebrow. Laura shrugs.

It takes a few minutes for Danny to finally tag Perry after she bumps into Laura, but it does nothing to improve her mood. Perry quickly tags Laura.

After failing to tag Kirsch a few times, Laura moves to tag LaFontaine, but Perry yanks them out of the way and Laura winds up tagging Danny again.

“ _Seriously?_ ” she shrieks.

Kirsch gulps.  “Look, D-bear––”

“I’m sick of this!” Danny yells.

“We can stop playing,” Perry states calmly.

“Not the _game_ ,” Danny retorts, tears forming.  “I’m sick of being ‘Tiny Danny’ who’s…  Too slow at playing tag and-and too short to see ice cream flavors, a-and too small to push her own swing.  Too tiny to get on rides at a fair and too stunted to pick the good apples at the orchard… Too weak to get out of the pool on her own…” Her voice has been cracking and tears fall. She wipes her wet cheeks and stomps her foot in anger.  “And now I’m _crying_.”

 

Carmilla rises from the couch and heads for Danny.

“You.  Come with me.  Right now.” She takes the redhead by the arm as gently as possible and pulls her into the staircase, out of earshot from the others.

Danny is hiccupping a bit.

“Lawrence, cut the crap,” Carmilla says, hushed.

“Go to hell, Fang Face,” she says, her voice shaking but the anger coming across just fine.

“With this whole _The Shining_ ‘Come and play with us’ nightmare I’ve been trapped in over the past several weeks–– and don’t think the fact that the child’s name was Danny is lost on me–– I’m pretty sure I’m already there,” Carmilla snaps.

Danny huffs and crosses her arms, still sniffling.

 

“Look, you stubborn little carrot,” Carmilla says sharply, “I don’t like you.  You’re way too overbearing and righteous and everything I despise in young humans.”

She takes a deep breath.

“But you’re strong.  You’re stronger than the other two gingers and you’re stronger than most people your age.  You’re definitely stronger than I was as a mortal.  I assume that’s why Laura likes you at all.  Hell, it’s the only reason I put up with you.” She gestures at all of the young girl. “Yeah, you’re stuck in a tiny, itty-bitty body at the moment.  But, inside, you’re still the towering human string bean giantess that I know and hate. So cut out this sniveling, mucous-y, whining crap.  Otherwise the only winning facet to your existence is gone and I won’t have any reason not to dismember you limb by limb as the cupcake begs me to stop.  Okay?”

 

Danny’s eyes widen and she clears her throat with one more sniffle.  “Yeah. Okay.”

Carmilla sighs.  “You’re ‘it?’”

“Huh?”

“Right now, in the game.  You’re ‘it?’”  Carmilla rolls her eyes.

Danny nods.  “Mmhmm.”

Carmilla sighs again and stoops down low. “Climb onto my back.”

“What?”

“What, are you hard of hearing now, too? Did you shrinking make your ears pop so hard from the change in altitude that your eardrums exploded?” Carmilla cuts her eyes at Danny. “ _Climb onto my back_.”

Confused, Danny does as asked.

 

Carmilla walks back towards the group. “Who’s ready to continue the game?” she asks flatly.

Kirsch blinks.  “But that’s chea––”

LaFontaine elbows him and he stops speaking.

“Yup, we’re ready,” Perry adds hastily.

Laura beams at Carmilla and she shoots Laura a wink.

Carmilla spends a minute or so making a show out of chasing the others around with Danny’s arms wrapped around her neck. The redhead giggles when Carmilla spends slightly more time cornering Kirsch and scaring him than she does the others.

 

Carmilla finally tags Laura, knowing that she’s the only one who definitely won’t object to the fact that Carmilla is, effectively, helping Danny cheat.  As expected, Laura takes it in stride and spends a couple minutes chasing after Carmilla in vain.

Danny finally leans over to whisper in Carmilla ear. “Let Laura tag us.”

“Your wish is my command, ginger snap.” Carmilla slows down and Laura, out of breath, tags her.

The game stops after that, since everyone is getting tired, and the thunderstorm has died down outside.

Perry drags LaF upstairs to bake some cookies after bidding Danny and Kirsch goodbye.

Kirsch hovers in the doorway while waiting for Danny.

“Thanks again,” the small redhead says to Carmilla.

The vampire shrugs.  “You were stressing Laura out.  Couldn’t have that,” she says, fooling no one.

“Mmhmm,” Danny hums, not convinced. She hugs Laura and leaves with Kirsch.

 

Laura hugs Carmilla, who gently pats her on the head.

“What was that for?”

“For being a softie and helping Danny.” Laura giggles.

Carmilla smirks.  “You mean I didn’t fool anyone or manage to salvage my reputation?”

“Sorry, Carm,” Laura says.

“Darn.”

Laura pulls away and hesitates for a few seconds before poking Carmilla in the arm.  “Tag! You’re it!”  She runs back to their room, her laughter echoing.

“You can’t be serious!” she calls after her, smiling and shaking her head.

“Sorry, Carm,” Laura yells back, “no taksies backsies!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've only got six more chapters for this fic written out that need to be edited, but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	17. My Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura's appendix bursts one night, leading to a few drug-induced conversations the following day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was originally supposed to go like, six chapters down the line, but it turned out a bit light on the fluff. Since the past couple episodes weren't _terribly_ angsty and I have enough chapters to last us through the rest of the season, I'm stockpiling the fluffier ones for _**the giraffe shirt**_ era. Either way, hope you enjoy it!

Laura wakes up screaming in pain.

Carmilla, who had been in the solarium, is at her side in an instant.

Laura is still crying and whimpering and Carmilla has to take a deep breath to calm herself down first.

“Laura, what is it?” Carmilla asks urgently. She goes to smooth the hair off Laura’s face, and pulls her hand back.  “Oh my god, you’re burning up!”

Laura starts shivering.  “M-My stomach,” she gasps out.

Carmilla frowns and removes the blankets and lifts Laura’s shirt.

“Wh-Wh-What is it?”

Carmilla bites her lip.  “Cupcake, I’m gonna just gently poke your stomach, okay?” She waits for a nod from Laura before she does and Laura yelps.

“Ow!  _Carm_!”

Perry and LaFontaine come running into their bedroom.

 

“What’s going on?” Perry asks, eyes wide.

“Carmilla’s poking my pain,” Laura whimpers.

“I think she has appendicitis,” Carmilla says, resting her cool hand on Laura’s forehead.

“Fever, chills, stomach pain?” LaF reels off. Carmilla and Laura nod. “Yup, that’s it, alright.”

Carmilla sighs and carefully sits on the bed beside Laura.  “I’m going to teleport you to the hospital, okay?”

Laura lets out another pained whimper before nodding.

Carmilla turns to look at Perry and LaFontaine. “I’ll come back for you guys once we get her situated there?”  They nod at her.

“Carm?”

“Yes, cutie?”

Laura bites her lip.  “I’m scared.”

Carmilla swallows hard, her heart breaking a bit at the fear in Laura’s voice.  “Me, too,” she admits softly.  “But I’ll be with you the whole time, okay?”

Laura nods and then winces again.

Carmilla carefully picks her up. “Let’s get that nasty thing out of you.”

  

* * *

 

 

Danny and Kirsch knock on the doorframe of the hospital room, finding Perry and LaFontaine sharing a chair, watching an unconscious Laura as Carmilla paces the room.

“How’s our girl?” Kirsch asks.

Carmilla sighs.  “Her appendix burst and they got it out with no problems, so we’re just waiting for her to wake up.”

Danny sits down on an available chair and scooches over so Kirsch can sit next to her.  “Does her dad know?”

“No, because then he’d want to come visit,” Carmilla replies, gesturing at the tiny girl before them. “It’s not like when this is all over, he’ll be able to _tell_ her appendix is missing.”

 

Laura stirs on the bed and her eyes slowly open.

“We’ll go get the doctor,” LaF offers, getting off the chair, followed by Perry.

Carmilla gently taps Laura on the nose. “How are you feeling, cutie?”

“Mom?” Laura asks groggily, looking up at the vampire.

Carmilla blinks at Laura, taken aback. “Uh…”

Laura giggles.  “Jus’ kiddin’, Carm,” she says dopily.  Her eyes widen and she lets out a gasp.  “You look like an _angel_.”

“First time I’ve gotten that,” Carmilla comments.

“The sunlight is making you glow,” Laura continues in awe.  “You look like a whitelighter from _Charmed_ or like a higher being from _Angel_.  All you’re missing is the donut above your head. And the wings. Oh, man, I could go for some chicken wings right now.  Hey, what do you think came first, the egg, or chicken wings––”

 

The doctor steps into the room, followed by Perry and LaFontaine.

“Well, I see someone is very much awake,” he comments.

Laura looks around the room.  “Is he talking about me?” she asks, very seriously.

“Yes, cupcake,” Carmilla replies, smirking.

“Oh.”  Laura grins.  “Yes, I am very much awake. I am also Laura.”

The doctor chuckles.  “Hello, Laura.  I’m your doctor.  We took out that bad appendix that was causing you pain.”  He flips through a clipboard and checks the monitors.  “Your heart rate seems fine.  I’m going to check your temperature now, okay?”

Laura nods and waits as he inserts a thermometer into her mouth.  It beeps and he removes it, looking at the reading.  “Good. And now I need you to breathe for me when I ask you to, okay?”

“Does that mean I have to hold my breath when you _don’t_ ask me to breathe?” Laura asks.

 

Danny lets out some laughter and covers her mouth.

“No, honey,” the doctor answers, amused. “You can breathe whenever you want. I’ll just ask you to take deeper breaths.  Okay?”

Laura nods and does as asked when the stethoscope is pressed against her back and chest.

“Very good,” the doctor comments. He looks at Carmilla. “Now, she can only have liquids for a few hours, but by dinnertime, solid food is fine.  Try to keep her from moving too much for a few days and make sure the wound remains closed.  If it opens, or if any complications arise, please come back immediately. Any questions?”

“I have one,” Laura says, raising her hand.

“Yes, Laura?”

“Have you _seen_ Carmilla?” she asks, gaping up at her.  “She’s an angel.”

He laughs.  “Yes, I’m sure she is.”

“She’s _glowing_!” Laura continues as Carmilla tries to fight back a smile. “I’m so lucky she’s my girlfriend.”

Carmilla’s smile fades and her eyes widen.

“Oh ho-ho,” the doctor chuckles. “Children, am I right?”

Carmilla gives him a polite smile and nods. “Yep.”

“We’ll wait for the anesthesia to wear off and then a nurse will be in shortly with the discharge papers.  Get well soon, Laura.”  He waves goodbye and leaves the room.

 

Laura giggles and tugs at the hem of Carmilla’s shirt for a few seconds.

“What is it, cutie?”

“Ierno,” Laura mumbles.  “I just feel like pulling on it.”

Carmilla chuckles as Laura continues aimlessly tugging and looking around the room.

“How long do I have to be here?”

“Until the drugs wear off,” LaF answers.

Laura continues tugging on Carmilla’s shirt. “How will we know when that is?”

Carmilla looks down and gently pulls her shirt out of Laura’s grasp.  “We’ll know.”

 

“Can I have some water, please?” Laura asks, unfazed by the loss of the fabric in her hand.

Perry pours some water and places a straw in the cup, handing it to Carmilla, who holds it in front of Laura.

“Straws are so weird,” Laura remarks after taking a sip.  “They’re like, cup extensions. Or, like, smaller cups, with the bottom cut out.”

Perry stifles some laughter.

“Actually, cups are pretty weird, too,” Laura continues.  “Because they’re just bottles without caps.”

Everyone is trying to contain their laughter now.

“Guys… that wall clock is dead,” Laura says, her eyes wide.  “It’s like… showing us its own time of death!”

This is the last straw as Danny lets out a loud burst of laughter, and everyone follows.

 

Laura stares up at Carmilla, who’s also chuckling. “What’s everyone laughing at?” she asks innocently.

Carmilla shakes her head, grinning. “Don’t worry about it, buttercup.”

“Oh, okay,” Laura says lightly.

Carmilla smirks and sits on the bed. “What would you like to do on your days of rest, hon?”

Laura bunches up her face in thought. “Can we watch _Agent Carter?_ ”

“Whatever you want.”

“And _Buffy?_ ”

Carmilla nods.

“And _Doctor Who?_ ”

“Yes, yes, and yes.”

Laura beams at her, but her face slowly changes until a small pout forms.

“Hey,” Carmilla says softly, gently poking Laura’s shoulder.  “What’s the matter?”

 

Laura bites her lip and looks down at her hands. “Well, I’m only supposed to be on bed rest for a few days, right?”

“Mmhmm…?”

“That’s not enough time to watch all of that,” Laura says, wringing her hands together.

“ _Laura_ ,” Carmilla chuckles, making the girl look back up at her.  “We can watch all of that stuff together any time, not just when you’re sick…”

Laura perks up.  “Really?”

“Yes, silly child,” Carmilla smirks.

“Damn, I really hit the jackpot with you!” Laura shouts, and everyone starts laughing again.

“And don't you ever forget it,” Carmilla replies.

LaF peers into Perry’s lap and sees her phone has been recording the past several minutes.

 

“Psst,” they whisper. “How much did you get?”

Perry grins. “Pretty much everything from when Laura said Carmilla is glowing.”

  

* * *

 

 

Laura snuggles against Carmilla’s shoulder and yawns.

“I think we should stop this marathon, cutie,” Carmilla suggests, preparing for some long-winded rambling protest.

To her surprise, Laura simply agrees.

“Really?  No fight, cupcake?”  Carmilla furrows her eyebrows. “Are you feeling okay?”

Laura shifts uncomfortably.  “Uh… yeah…”

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Laura…”

“My tummy hurts,” Laura finally admits quietly.

 

“Like, hurts, or _hurts_ -hurts?”

“Not as bad as when my appendix ‘sploded,” Laura quickly clarifies.  “But it hurts.”

Carmilla frowns.  “Why didn’t you say something?” she asks, rising to get a bottle of painkillers from the counter.

Laura shrugs.  “Figured I’d done enough damsel-ing for one day.”

“You weren’t locked in a tower guarded by a dragon, sweetie,” Carmilla remarks dryly, “your appendix burst.”

“I know,” Laura says, taking the pill from Carmilla and swallowing it.  “But you spent all day taking care of me and watching after me.”

Carmilla gently picks Laura up and carries her to the bed, tucking her in.  “It was my pleasure,” she says sincerely.  “Especially when you were doped up and kept complimenting me.”

Laura giggles, her previous look of drugged up stupor ghosting her face.  “That’s because you’re my vampire in shining, leathery armor.”

 

Carmilla walks around the bed and lies down next to Laura.  “Am I?” she asks, amused.

“Yup,” Laura slurs out, hugging Carmilla’s arm. “My vampire–– that saved me a bajillion million times…”

“That’s a lot of times,” Carmilla comments seriously.

Laura gasps.  “It sure is!”

Carmilla laughs.  “How’s the pain?”

“Gone, gone, _gone_ ,” Laura sings.  “Thanks to yo _uuuu._ ”

“Go to sleep, cutie,” Carmilla says softly, chuckling.

Laura squeezes Carmilla’s arm tighter and smiles against it.  “Goodnight, Carm,” she mutters sleepily. “My angel.”

 _What’s with her sudden fixation in calling me an ‘angel?’_ “Laura, I’m not an––”

“––Just like my mom…” Laura mumbles, drifting into light snoring.

Carmilla’s breath catches in her throat as she stares at the small sleeping form wrapped around her arm.

“Good night, Laura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [riverskys](http://riverskys.tumblr.com/) for the idea! (It was actually "laughing gas" but I figured this was close enough)  
> Also, I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas here and on tumblr! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!  
> 


	18. Camp, Camp, Camp It Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes camping, leading to Carmilla and Laura trying to keep the others entertained and ending in a feathery war zone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I know the last chapter kinda ended on a bittersweet note, but it worked well as a segue into this chapter.  
> I also wanted to thank you guys for all the amazing feedback here and on tumblr!! I've been feeling really rotten the past few weeks and you're all part of the tiny shining ball of happiness in my life right now <3  
> This was one of my favorite chapters to write, so I hope you guys like it, too :)

“Cupcake, do you need help?”

“Nope,” Laura grunts.

“Because it looks like you need help…”

“I’m good, Carm.”  Another grunt.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Am not.”

“Are, too.”

“Am not–– ouch!”

Carmilla sighs and leans against a tree, watching the wiggling lump buried under a pile of tent parts try to liberate itself.

 

“Aren’t you going to help her?” Danny frowns, walking to stand next to her.

“She insists she doesn’t need it,” Carmilla answers flatly.  “Even though she totally just _cut herself_.”

“Did not,” Laura insists, hopelessly wandering around underneath the tent.

“Did, too.  And before you argue, I can smell it, cutie.”

“What if the cut gets infected?” Perry frets, watching from the tent she and LaFontaine just finished setting up. Kirsch is proudly admiring the tent he set up by himself, which he’s sharing with Danny.

LaFontaine snorts.  “Or what if the blood attracts bears?”

“ _Bears?!_ ” Laura cries.  Suddenly, her efforts to free herself from the mess of a tent become more desperate. The attempts are increasingly wild.

LaF’s eyes widen.  “Oh, uh…  Crap…”

“Bears?” Laura repeats as she begins hyperventilating.

 

“Good job, you idiot,” Carmilla growls. She goes over and lifts a part of the tent and Laura comes charging out, grabbing onto her.

“There are bears here?” Laura whimpers.

“Shh,” Carmilla soothes, rubbing her back gently. “There are no bears here, Laura.” She shoots LaFontaine a pointed glare and they shrink a little.

“Sorry, Laur.  Was just teasing.  Absolutely no bears in the area.”

Laura lets out a sigh of relief amidst a few sniffles and takes a shaky breath.

Carmilla buries a kiss in her hair. “Look, buttercup, why don’t you and the others start making dinner or s’mores or popcorn or whatever and I’ll set up our tent, okay?”

Laura nods slowly, taking another deep breath. “Thanks, Carm.”

 

A half hour passes and Perry has managed to whip up a nice stew from whatever Danny, Kirsch, and Carmilla had caught earlier. Laura and Danny are working as a very efficient team, making s’mores, while Kirsch and LaFontaine eagerly cheer on the popping kernels.

Laura toddles over to Carmilla with an oozing s’more. “I put extra marshmallow in it for you!” Laura beams.

Carmilla smirks and takes it, eating the messy treat while sitting on the ground and leaning back on a tree. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

Laura grins and joins her on the ground, snuggling up against her.

“Feeling better?” Carmilla asks. She feels Laura nod at her side. “Wanna talk about it?”

Laura shrugs but takes a long, shaky breath. “My parents wanted to take me camping when I was seven.  My mom and I were supposed to meet my dad at the site so we were driving there during the late afternoon.” Her voice catches in her throat and she chokes back a sob.  “A rabid bear rammed the car and then attacked us and I watched it kill her. My dad found me covered in blood––hers and mine–– still inside the car.  The bear had given up trying to get me and left by then.  Since I was so young and stuck in the hospital recovering for a while, I sorta... missed her funeral.”

She sniffles when her voice cracks and she wipes her nose on her sleeve.

“It’s a stupid thing to get this upset over, years later, I know.”

Carmilla pulls away and stares at her with furrowed eyebrows.  “No, it’s not,” she says, softly but firmly.  “It was a terrible, horrible thing that happened to you.”

Laura doesn’t reply and she looks like she’s about to cry again, so Carmilla pulls her into a hug.

“Thank you for finally telling me,” she whispers.

 

“The stew is ready to eat!” Perry calls over.

Laura nuzzles her face against Carmilla’s shoulder before standing, hand out for the vampire to take.

“All this crying’s made me hungry,” she says with a wink.

Carmilla laughs softly and follows her back to the others.

Dinner goes by quietly, with only the fire crackling being heard over the children eating while Carmilla sips her blood from a cup. Perry insisted that LaFontaine bring out the first aid kid for Laura’s cut.

“Stop playing with it,” Carmilla chides.

Laura raises an eyebrow.  “Huh?”

“Your Band-Aid,” Carmilla says, gently slapping one of Laura’s hands.  “Stop fiddling with it.”

Laura sticks her tongue out.

“You’re giving me gray hairs, cupcake.” Carmilla rolls her eyes and gives a long, exasperated sigh.

Laura giggles.  “Carm, that’s just dirt.”

“You do realize you cause me to roll my eyes so far back in my head that I can see my brain cells die?”  Carmilla narrows her eyes in a glare as a giggling Laura rises to get popcorn.

She brings back two bowls, one for Carmilla. Laura places them both on the ground and resumes fiddling with her Band-Aid.

“Oh, my god, would you cut it out?” Carmilla growls playfully.

“You’re just trying to keep me from dying so I keep feeding you s’mores and popcorn,” Laura teases.

 

“Well, what else are you good for?” Carmilla teases.

Laura throws some popcorn into her mouth. “I’m your trophy cupcake, remember?”

Carmilla chuckles.  “You do pick up tricks really well.”

Danny snorts.

“I’m being totally serious,” Carmilla comments. She signals for Laura to stand.

Laura, already understanding what Carmilla has in mind, steps a couple feet away from her.  Carmilla gestures for her to move back another foot or so.

 

Carmilla arches one popcorn kernel into the air, and Laura expertly catches it in her mouth.  The vampire smirks as they repeat this a few more times, with her slowly making the throws more fancy and at different angles.  Laura manages to catch each one with her mouth.

“Oh my god,” Danny says exasperatedly. “Is this what you two do when you’re alone?”

Kirsch scoffs.  “How difficult could that be?”  He picks up some popcorn.  “D-bear, open your mouth.”

She scoffs but obliges, and he throws a fistful of popcorn into her face.

Danny blinks at him and growls.

“Ooo-okay, so…  _Slightly_ more difficult than I thought it would be,” he chuckles sheepishly.

 

“I think it’s very impressive,” Perry grins.

“Yeah, what else ya got?” LaF asks.

 

Carmilla shrugs as Laura walks back over to her.

“Oh!” Laura says, pulling Carmilla down a bit, “we could––”

Carmilla nods at whatever Laura’s whispered into her ear and picks her up off the ground.

They disappear in a cloud of black smoke and Carmilla reappears after a couple of seconds.

“Where did the little dude go?” Kirsch asks.

“Patience,” Carmilla replies. After a few seconds, she holds her hands out and Laura lands in her arms, giggling.

 

“D-Did you just…”  Perry sputters and is unable to finish her question.

Kirsch elbows Danny excitedly. “Whoa!” he exclaims.

“Oh, man, you teleported Laura up into the sky?” LaFontaine asks, impressed.

Laura’s still giggling when Carmilla lowers her to the ground.

“Yeah, Carm teleported me up there,” she says, pointing.

“I-I can’t believe…”  Perry is still stammering.

“How high up did you go?” Danny asks in awe.

Carmilla shrugs.  “A little over 150 feet off the ground?”

LaF guffaws.  “Assuming Laura is about 40 pounds, it had to have been like, 160 feet!”  They walk over to Carmilla and Laura, hands raised.  “Hardcore!”

Carmilla and Laura smirk and give them high fives.

“ _THAT WAS SO DANGEROUS!_ ” Perry blurts out.  She nervously runs her hand through her hair.  “I-I’m going to clean up now that we’re done dinner,” she mumbles.

 

“We got bored one night so we tried it out from like, 20 feet off the ground and just slowly started increasing the distance. I absorb most of the impact.  It’s not like her neck would snap,” Carmilla points out.

Laura nods.  “Perry, it’s fine, Carm and I have done it before.”

“That doesn’t make it _better_ ,” she snarls.  “You could’ve broken your silly little neck the first time!”

She huffs and continues grumbling to herself as Carmilla tosses more popcorn into Laura’s mouth.

LaF raises their hand.  “I call next!”

“Ooh!  Ooh! Me after!” Kirsch yells out.

Carmilla lets out an exasperated sigh and Laura bites her lip and shrugs.  Carmilla looks down at LaFontaine.  “Fine,” she grumbles. 

 

* * *

 

 

Laura is tucked into Carmilla’s side.

“You did a pretty good job with the tent,” Laura whispers.  The group had gone to bed about half an hour before, but Laura wasn’t sleepy.

“You set the bar pretty low, cutie,” Carmilla teases.

She can actually hear the girl bunch up her face. “I withdraw my previous compliment,” she huffs.

Carmilla laughs.  “Yeah, you _sure_ showed me.”

Laura gently pulls away from Carmilla and sits up. “Don’t test me, Carm,” she says, narrowing her eyes playfully.

“I’m _so_ scared, cupcake.”

Laura smirks and, in one swift motion, pulls the pillow out from under Carmilla’s head and smacks her in the face with it.

 

The pillow falls away, showing a very offended Carmilla.

“Oh ho-ho, you asked for it,” she sneers, snatching the pillow from Laura’s hands and whacking Laura in the shoulder.

Laura giggles and grabs the spare pillow, blocking her face as Carmilla whips her pillow out again.

They start trading blows, their laughter growing. Carmilla uses her pillow as a battering ram, knocking Laura over and landing on top of her.

“Carm, I’m gonna suffocate!” Laura exaggerates.

“No mercy,” Carmilla states, making herself comfortable atop two pillows and the wriggling girl, chuckling.

 

Suddenly, a third pillow flies through the opening in their tent and hits Carmilla in the back.

Carmilla’s mouth drops open as she and Laura both turn to find the new attacker–– a very grumpy-looking Perry.

“ _Some of us are trying to sleep,_ ” she growls.

Carmilla pushes herself off the ground and glares down at her.  Laura stands up as well, still clutching onto her pillow as she hands Carmilla hers.

Carmilla shifts to look down at Laura, a small grin growing.  Laura’s grin quickly matches Carmilla’s as they both raise an eyebrow.

“No mercy, right, cutie?”

“No mercy, Carm,” Laura affirms. They both turn towards Perry, whose eyes widen a split second before they both chase her out of their tent, wielding pillows.

 

“ _LaFontaine_!” she cries, tearing around the extinguished fire pit. “You were right! I pissed them off!”

LaF pops their head out of their tent and starts laughing before tossing Perry their pillow.  “That’s all the help you’re getting from me, Per.”

Laura and Carmilla swing their pillows into Perry, who manages to defend herself pretty well.

“You will cut this out.”  She blocks another hit from Laura.  “R-Right now,” she says before running away.

LaFontaine is laughing uncontrollably as Carmilla continues flicking her pillow at Perry, while Laura flanks her.

Danny sticks her head out of her tent and sleepily squints at the scene before her.  “Holy Hera,” she breathes.  “Kirsch, can you believe this?––”

She turns around and finds that her tent mate is sleeping soundly.

“––And of course you’re asleep. Of course.”

 

She peeks back outside to see that LaFontaine and Perry are now squaring off against Laura and Carmilla.

Danny grabs her pillow and smacks Kirsch with it in the gut.

“Whuh?  Huh?”

Danny smirks.  “Wake up, brozo.  There’s a war going on outside.  And you’re my partner.” She dashes out of the tent with her pillow and joins the fray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally did _not_ sit here at 3am one night doing the physics to make sure I didn't accidentally _**Gwen Stacy**_ Laura in this chapter with that little stunt. But I figure if Carmilla absorbs half the force of Laura falling, lil' Hollis would be fine ;)  
>  Anyway-- I've got five more chapters for this fic written out that need to be edited, and five more planned but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	19. Water You Doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Zetas and Summers decide to set up a major water-balloon/water-gun event and Laura takes advantage when Carmilla inadvertently joins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I feel like I should mention here that I _love_ that reading this fic has caused some of you to connect with me on tumblr and if you do ever wanna hit me up there, feel free to shoot me a message (coz I'm crap with checking my notifications/activity feed).  
>  Also, for the anon that was asking about the physics from the last chapter, I'm not sure if my answer got lost in my sea of posts, but [here](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/post/128237187097/hi-i-got-redirected-here-from-ao3-how-did-you) it is!  
> Stay awesome, you cuties! <3

Carmilla is lounging on the couch. She had woken up to an empty bed and some long-winded texts from Laura about where she had gone. To be honest, she basically skimmed them just to make sure Laura wasn’t in danger.  All she gathered was that the girl went to the mall with some of her friends.

She had gotten herself a glass of blood and is contemplating taking a shower or maybe strolling around in her cat form when the door slams open.

A drenched Laura stumbles in and almost trips over her own feet when her wet pant legs get stuck together.

“Jesus Christ, cupcake,” Carmilla remarks, rolling off the couch.  “Did we have another weird thunderstorm, or something?”

Laura shakes her head.  “Didn’t you read my texts?”

Carmilla bites her lip.  “Uh…”

“Skimmed them, huh?”  Laura giggles.  “We’re having a water fight!”

 

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.

“The Zetas are handing out water guns and the Summer Society made water balloons and LaFontaine, Perry, and I got caught in the middle of it all on our way back.”  She holds out a small plastic bag.  “I’m about to change out of these jeans and into something more fit for running, but I wanted to give you this.”

Carmilla takes the bag while Laura goes to change. There’s a box inside, which she takes out and opens.

“Cutie, I already have a leather jacket,” Carmilla points out gently.

Laura giggles and walks back over. “Lift it, silly.”

Carmilla does and finds a slightly smaller leather jacket underneath.

“And lift that one.”

Carmilla furrows her brows together but does as asked, finding a much smaller leather jacket.

“Is this some kind of bizarre version of Russian nesting dolls?”

“No, Carm,” Laura laughs and takes the medium-sized leather jacket.  “This one is mine. The biggest one is yours. And the tiny one is for Baggy.”

Carmilla scoffs.  “You… bought a leather jacket… for our stuffed black cat.”

“Well, actually…”  Laura plucks up the smallest jacket.  “Right now it’s for five-year-old me.”  She holds it up against herself.  “I just won’t be trapped in this body forever hopefully, so when I wear the other jacket, Baggy can get this one.”

 

Carmilla stares at Laura with an unreadable expression.

“You think this is stupid,” Laura says sadly, pouting.

“No,” Carmilla replies immediately, smirking. “I think it’s adorable that we have matching jackets.”

Laura’s pout quickly fades and she beams at Carmilla, tugging at her for a hug.

“Bagheera is going to be the most bad-ass stuffed panther in Styria,” Laura asserts as she pulls away.  She drapes the leather jacket over Baggy.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Yeah, Mr. Gordo better watch out.”

Laura gasps excitedly and grabs Carmilla for another hug before giving her a peck on the cheek.  “You remember Buffy’s stuffed pig’s name!”

Carmilla comes as close to blushing as she can while biting her lip.  She finally rolls her eyes and playfully swats Laura.  “Don’t you have some water fight to get to?”

 

* * *

 

Carmilla sighs, trying to focus on her book, but Jeremy Bentham's  _An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation_ just can’t distract her from the loud war occurring outside.  She’s already gone to the window several times, watching with a smile as Laura engages the others with both water balloons and the various Super Soaker guns readily supplied.

Perry has also found an abandoned portable water slide hidden in the old floor don headquarters.

She rises and goes to the window again, but this time, Laura’s nowhere to be found.  Carmilla scans the entire area a few times to confirm she’s nowhere in the quad before teleporting down and grabbing LaFontaine.

 

“Uh… Hi, Carmilla?”  They raise an eyebrow at the vampire gripping their shoulder. “’Sup?”

“Where’s Laura?”

They shrug.  “Last I saw, she was with Danny and Kirsch.”

Carmilla grumbles a ‘thank you’ and looks around for the trio.  Feeling like she’s picking cabbages, she snatches one of the Zeta brothers–– _Leo?  Teddy?_ –– by the wrist.

“Hey…  You,” she begins.

“Theo,” he sighs, annoyed.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Where’s Kirsch?”

He shrugs.  “I saw him with Lawrence and Laura a few minutes ago.”

She lets out an exasperated sigh. “Where?”

He points by some benches and she lets him go, heading over to the completely unoccupied benches.  There are just a bunch of unopened packages of water balloons and some empty water guns.

 

“Oh, hey, Carm,” a voice calls out from behind her. She whirls around and sees Laura carrying a large container, way too big for her.  “A little help?”

Carmilla lets out a small sigh of relief and picks it up with ease and places it down on the bench.

“Whatcha doin’ here?”  Laura beams up at her.

“I… Uh…”

Laura takes Carmilla’s hand and gently tugs her back the way she came.

“I couldn’t see you from the window and I got worried,” Carmilla admits softly.

Laura lets out a small chuckle but decides not to tease her too much about it.  “Please tell me there were no casualties during your inquisition?”

“So, you want me to lie to you?” Carmilla smirks.

Laura sighs.  “I swear, I can’t take you anywhere.”

“Then where, pray tell, are you taking me right now?”

“Danny, Kirsch, and I were getting more water for everyone,” Laura replies.

Carmilla sighs.  “And I just got roped into helping.”

Laura nods emphatically.  “Yup!”

  

* * *

 

 

Laura hands Carmilla another two canisters filled with water and Carmilla uses her vampire speed to quickly screw them onto the gun. “Next.”

“Man, they’re beating us!” Kirsch whines. “Come on, D-Bear! Refill faster!”

Danny whimpers when she drops another canister on the floor, spilling water everywhere.  “I can’t work under these conditions!”

Laura and Carmilla turn to look at the screaming redhead.  “Ooookay,” Laura says, going over, while Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Why don’t you guys carry this bucket over for the water slide?”

Danny’s eyes wander to the case of water and nods. “Fine,” she grumbles.

 

They watch as Danny and Kirsch argue about who’s slowing who down while they carry the case across the squad.

Laura looks down at the puddle of water on the ground and clicks her tongue.  “What a waste of water.”

Carmilla scoffs and gestures at the rest of the quad. “Yeah, because shooting it at each other, and rubbing your ass on it while taking advantage of reduced friction are so much better,” she comments dryly.

Laura grins mischievously.  She inches closer to the pile of refilled water guns beside her.

“Don’t even think about it, Hollis,” Carmilla warns.

Laura’s eyes flash defiantly and she slowly picks up the water pistol.

“Laura… I swear…”

A stream of water hits Carmilla in the face and ceases after a few seconds.

 

Carmilla scrunches up her face, sputters a bit, and opens her eyes slowly.

“Whatcha gonna do about it, Karnstein?” Laura taunts.

In a flash, Carmilla lifts up an entire crate of water, filled to the brim with water, and turns it over so that its emptied right over Laura.

“H-Holy fish fingers and custard,” she stammers out, spitting out some water.

Carmilla wastes no time in grabbing some filled water balloons nearby and lobbing them at Laura, who squeaks after the first two and runs away.

“Get back here, you walking quiche,” Carmilla yells out, cackling.

 

Laura yelps and tries to hide among the warring Zetas and Summer Society members, but winds up getting shot with water cannons in the process.

She finally escapes and bumps right into Carmilla, who empties an entire water gun at the back of the fleeing girl. Carmilla chases after her, laughing so hard at the desperation oozing from Laura that she completely misses her footing on the grass as she catches up to Laura.

Carmilla lets out a string of curses as she plants the other foot on the slip-n-slide, loses her balance completely, and falls.

Laura, completely oblivious to the slipping vampire behind her, is knocked clean off her feet as Carmilla slides right into her. She lets out a surprised shriek as she and Carmilla clumsily roll through the entire slip-n-slide.

Laura stops rolling first, but Carmilla has more momentum and goes farther, colliding right into Laura and landing on top of her.

 

Carmilla tries to regain her bearings as everyone approaches them warily, before she hears a coughing girl beneath her.

“Carm, I can't breathe,” Laura strains.

The vampire’s eyes widen and she rolls off Laura.

“Crap, are you okay?”  Her nose picks up on the faint scent of blood.

Laura winces. “I think I skinned my elbow.”

Carmilla squats and examines the area Laura points at. “Yeah, there is definitely slightly less elbow.”

Perry huffs nearby. “Inside! Both of you! We don't need Laura getting that infected and you catching another cold!”

LaF nods. “I'll have to agree, guys. I'm pretty sure the people at the grocery store are starting to think I'm a five year old that really enjoys buying soup ingredients.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes but nods. “Come on, cupcake.”

 

Laura grabs her hand and they quickly head inside. Carmilla changes her clothes and dries off while Laura dabs at her elbow with some alcohol.

She comes back out and gratefully takes a dry outfit Carmilla has pulled out for her to change into.

“What's the damage, cutie?” Carmilla calls into the bathroom.

Laura enters and sighs. “I think I'll survive,” she proclaims dramatically, flopping down on the chaise. “You're not mad at me, are you? For shooting you in the face?”

“No.” Carmilla smirks. “That was almost worth me dragging my ass out there when I thought you went missing.”

Laura giggles. “Glad to hear it.”

Carmilla lies down next to her. “Maybe we should invest in a cowbell for you,” she teases. “It would make my life a lot less stressful.”

Laura narrows her eyes.  “Do I look like Christopher Walken to you?” she retorts, yawning.

 

“Right now, you look like you need a nap,” Carmilla replies, grinning.

“ _Your face_ needs a nap,” Laura teases, laughing.

“Yeah, okay, you _definitely_ need a nap, you dork,” Carmilla responds, lifting Laura and placing her so her head is on the pillow, before tucking her into the blankets. She starts to leave the bedroom when there’s some grunts of discontent from behind her.

 

“Caaarrm,” Laura whines.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “Lauuuuuraaaa.”

“Come nap with me,” Laura giggles.

Carmilla checks her initial urge to head straight over and instead crosses her arms.  “Give me one good reason.”

Laura sits up and huffs.  “ _Fine_. Leave me here with my _wound_ that _you_ caused while I bleed to death in our bed.  See if I care.”

Carmilla chuckles and walks over, plants a light kiss on Laura’s skinned elbow, and walks over to get into the bed on the other side.

Laura lets out an excited squeal and snuggles up against her vampire once they both get comfortable.

 

“Carm?” Laura asks after a few moments of comfortable silence.

“Yeah?”

“I bought those matching leather jackets to thank you. For being so good with this whole thing.”

Carmilla smiles.  “Oh, did you?”

Laura nods against Carmilla’s shirt. “I just wish I could do more. To thank you.”

Carmilla lets out a small dry chuckle. “Laura, this is happening to _you_.  You don’t have anything to thank me for.”

Laura yawns again.  “But you’re like, the bestest, bestest girlfriend _ever_.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

“But that deserves more than a stupid leather jacket,” Laura pouts, stifling another yawn.

Carmilla shifts a bit and looks down just to verify that she can, in fact, see the girl’s lower lip jutting out. “Hon, there’s a much longer explanation for what I’m about to say, which is best left to when you’re not drifting off to sleep on me––”

“––I’mnotdriftingofftosleeponyouCarm––”

“Mmhmm,” Carmilla hums, unconvinced by her drooping eyelids. “Look, just…  Trust me when I say the thanks I’m getting from this whole situation far outweighs any gratitude I could feel from getting a new leather jacket.”

 

Carmilla gives her a wink.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the leather jacket. It _is_ a very nice leather jacket.”

“Carm, I have no idea what you’re saying,” Laura frowns.

Carmilla chuckles.  “Go to sleep, Laura.  Gotta rest up that elbow of yours.”

Laura nods sleepily.  “Yeah…  Elbows are… the knees of arms…”

Carmilla smiles as Laura’s breathing evens out and turns into light snoring, feeling like the bestest, bestest girlfriend _ever_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas here and on tumblr! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter :D


	20. Snow Day But Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When an unprecedented snowstorm occurs, the gang spends the day playing in the snow and ice skating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm shifting chapters around as I go to adjust to our fluff needs from the episode-angst levels LOL. This one was originally meant to happen a few chapters down the line and a couple lines had to be taken out, so if it feels a little rough, I'm sorry! But this one had more Danny in it than the original update and I figured we all needed more of our tiny redhead after today :)  
> (There's another reason, but I'm keeping that close to the vest)  
> Stay strong, creampuffs!! <3

Carmilla wakes up when she feels the girl next to her shivering.  “Cupcake?” she asks groggily.

Laura’s shaking is worsening and Carmilla can hear her breathing is definitely irregular.

“Laura?” she tries again, more urgently. “Wake up.”

“C-Co-Cold,” Laura stutters out.

Carmilla’s eyes widen and she removes her half of the blanket from herself and wraps Laura up in it.  She fetches a few more and does the same again, until Laura looks like a little pigs in a blanket and her shivering is slowly stopping.

“Th-Th-Tha-Thanks,” Laura says, her teeth still chattering.

Carmilla kisses her gently on the cheek and rises, walking over to the window.

 

“What the freezing hell?”  Carmilla resists the urge to rub her eyes. “There’s at least two feet of snow on the ground.”

“Really?”  Laura is facing away from the window and tries to roll herself over, but gives up after a few seconds.

“This is so bizarre,” Carmilla comments, staring out at the frozen campus.

There’s some rustling behind her, followed by a yelp and a loud thump.  She turns to see Laura, still wrapped up in the blankets, lying on the floor.

Carmilla walks over and kneels next to her, grinning. “Did you just roll yourself off the bed?”

Laura huffs and bunches up her face. “Who told you to swaddle me so tightly? I’m like, the world’s tightest burrito.”

“Also the world’s clumsiest burrito,” Carmilla teases.

 

Their phones buzz at the same time.

“Guess your friends have also discovered our winter wonderland,” Carmilla sighs, retrieving her phone.

Laura giggles.  “What are they saying?”

“The ginger twins want to build snowpeople. Tiny ginger is slowly making her way over to have a snowball fight.”

Laura lets out an excited gasp. “Snowpeople and a snowball fight?” She lets out a frustrated grunt when she fails to escape her blanketed prison.  “Help me out, Carm?”

Carmilla smirks and stands, taking a picture on her phone and chuckling.

“ _Carm_!”

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla sits on a bench after she’s cleared the snow off, arms crossed and taking in the peace around her. She smirks as she pretends to ignore the crunching footsteps approaching behind her.  Small hands with mittens cover her eyes.

“Guess who,” a small voice whispers in her ear.

“Hmm.  Ginger Two?”

“No,” she giggles.

“The puppy?”

“No!”

“Ginger One?”

The hands are removed and Laura strains to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Ah.  Tiny Ginger,” Carmilla says, earning her a small smack on the shoulder.

“Wanna come see our snowpeople?” Laura asks, beaming at her.

Carmilla stands and gestures for her to lead the way. “How can I say no to that face?”

 

They walk to a small clearing and Carmilla is actually impressed that the three children managed to build six snowpeople.

There’s a group of four clumped together and Carmilla smiles at how different they all are.  Some have buttons for eyes, some have carrots for noses, and a few have extra scarves and hats on them.  Others have twigs jutting out from them or rocks pushed into the snow.

 

“They look nice, cutie,” Carmilla says, trying to imagine what it looked like when the children were building them, considering they were about the same height.

“Thanks!” Laura grins and tugs her slightly farther away.  “And _this_ …”

Laura gestures proudly at two snowpeople, slightly shorter than the others.

“…is us!”

Carmilla takes them in.  One is slightly smaller than the other, covered in Laura’s black sweater from their first Christmas together, and there’s a cookie wedged into the sleeve of it.  The other one has the red Grumpy Cat sweater and has twigs masterfully arched to resemble Carmilla’s eyebrows.  The sweaters’ sleeves are tied together, as if they’re holding hands.

She doesn’t realize how long she’s been staring at them until Laura clears her throat beside her.  “Do you like them?”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Oh, cupcake, they’re perfect.”  She bends down and kisses Laura on the cheek.

 

Someone makes a retching sound behind them and Carmilla turns to look.

“Sorry,” Danny says, grinning. “There’s only so much cute a girl can take, y’know?”

“Whatever, peanut.  I’ll leave you guys to your snowball fight and I’m taking _my_ cuteness with me.”

“To be fair, I think I’m the one in possession of the cuteness,” Laura insists.

Carmilla scoffs.  “I’d agree but I don’t want it going to your head.”

Laura sticks out her tongue and laughs as Carmilla heads back to her bench.

 

* * *

 

Carmilla smiles as she watches the snow continue to fall, listening to the snowball fight continue behind her, even though an hour has passed.  From what she can surmise, it was Laura and Danny against LaFontaine and Perry.

Once again, she hears Laura’s footsteps behind her. Except this time, they’re accompanied by someone else and they don’t go all the way up to the bench. Instead, they stop a few feet away.

And then she feels a hard, cold, wet mass hit the back of her head.

Carmilla turns around slowly, arching an eyebrow at the two children standing behind her.

 

Laura’s grin is huge, while Danny points at her, looking as if she’s regretting walking alongside Laura now.

“She did it!” Danny squeaks.

Laura’s grin grows as Carmilla stands from the bench, brushing the snow off her hair.  “You sneaky little snickerdoodle,” she grumbles.

Laura giggles, but her eyes widen when her brain registers that Carmilla is barreling towards her.  Danny is already running away from the charging vampire when Laura lets out a yelp as Carmilla tackles her into a nearby snow bank.

Carmilla smirks and gets off the small girl and offers her a hand to get up.

Laura stands up on her own, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She scoops up more snow and shoves it in Carmilla’s face, cackling as she runs around her.

 

“So that’s how you wanna play it, huh?” Carmilla forms a snowball and lobs it at Laura’s back.  Laura stumbles a bit from the impact, but quickly recovers and makes her own snowball. Her aim is completely off and it lands next to Carmilla.

Laura continues running heading towards a tree.

She turns to gauge Carmilla’s location just as Carmilla lets another snowball fly, and it hits her in the face.

Carmilla realizes something is wrong as she’s releasing it, smelling blood immediately after Laura grabs her face and winces.

“Crap,” Carmilla curses, rushing towards her. “Was there ice in that one?” She gently removes Laura’s hands and examines the small cut.

“Am I horribly disfigured?” Laura teases.

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Yes, you’re a regular Quasimodo.”

“Does that make you my Esmeralda?” Laura giggles.

“Would that mean Tiny Ginger is Frollo?” Carmilla smirks.

 

Laura gasps and pushes Carmilla gently. “Don’t be so rude.”

“Oh, yeah?  What are you going to do about it?”

Laura throws herself at Carmilla, who allows herself to be tackled to the ground.  Laura’s laughter is contagious and soon Carmilla is laughing, too.

Someone clears their throat nearby and they glance over to see LaFontaine, Perry, and Danny watching them.

“What’s up?” Laura asks.

“Kirsch texted to say the ice rink in town is open,” Danny explains.  “Wanna go?”

 

* * *

 

“You sure you’re okay just sitting over here?” Laura asks, pouting.

Carmilla nods.  “I’m good.”  She flips a page in her book on a bench facing the rink.

“Okay,” Laura says, slightly deflated, heading towards the ice.

Carmilla spends the next hour alternating between reading and glancing up to watch Laura and the others circle the rink or chase after each other.

She’s lost in her book again when she realizes someone’s sat down next to her.  She looks up from the book.

“Tiny Xena,” she greets, her eyes returning to the page.

 

“You know she’d be having more fun if you were out there, right?” Danny asks, swinging her legs back and forth.

Carmilla sighs and glances up. Laura is playing some version of tag with Kirsch and Theo and is throwing her head back in laughter. “She seems to be having plenty of fun without me.”

Danny cocks her head to the side. “Are you jealous?”

“No,” Carmilla scoffs.

“Because if you are, then why don’t you just go out there and play with her––”

“I am _not_ jealous,” Carmilla growls.

“Then what’s the problem?”

Carmilla slams her book closed. “You!  You are my problem.”

“I don’t believe that,” Danny states indignantly.

 

They sit there in a tense silence, glaring at each other.

Suddenly, Danny’s eyes widen. “Wait.  Can you even ice skate?”

Carmilla blinks and then opens her book again, ignoring her.

“Oh my god, you can’t skate,” Danny says, lowering her voice.

“Shut up,” Carmilla snaps.

Danny shrugs.  “We can teach you if you want––”

“ _No_ ,” Carmilla interrupts sharply.

Danny jumps a bit and pouts.

Carmilla sighs and takes a deep breath. “Laura was going to teach me.”

“Oh.”  Danny furrows her eyebrows together.  “Laura knows?”

“Yeah,” Carmilla replies.  “And she was going to teach me how to ice skate, but it’s a little weird for a five year old to be teaching a teenager how to skate than, say, a nineteen year old showing her girlfriend.”

“I could see that,” Danny replies, biting her lip. “Sorry for pushing.”

“Pretty sure you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t,” Carmilla says dryly.

 

Danny gets off the bench.  “For what it’s worth, I meant what I said. She’d be having more fun if you were out there.”

Carmilla regards her with her usual apathy before her face softens slightly.  “Thanks, Lawrence.”

Danny smiles and turns to head back to the rink.

  

* * *

 

 

“I’m going to make some hot chocolate. Do you guys want any?” Perry asks, opening the door to the apartment.

Laura shakes her head.  “I want to stay out here for a little while longer.”

Perry and LaFontaine wave goodbye before heading inside.

Laura and Carmilla circle around the apartment for a bit, watching the snow floating off the rooftops and trees.

“Did you have fun, cupcake?” Carmilla asks.

Laura nods emphatically.  “And next time, you’ll be out there with me.”

“Yeah.  Falling flat on my ass,” Carmilla replies flatly.

Laura giggles.  “I would pay to see that.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Of course you would.”

 

Laura stops short and throws a snowball at Carmilla’s butt.

Carmilla glances at her own behind before staring at Laura in shock.  “What the…”

“Just getting you ready for when you fall while ice skating,” Laura explains innocently, batting her eyelashes.

Carmilla clenches her jaw and cuts her eyes at Laura. “Did you learn _nothing_ from earlier?”

Laura squeals as she runs from Carmilla, who checks to make sure there’s no ice before she hits her with a snowball.

Carmilla cackles and winds up another snowball, and Laura ducks behind a tree.  The snowball hits the tree with a loud _thwack_. It knocks the snow loose from the branches, and before either can react, Laura is covered in three feet of snow.

Carmilla breaks into a fit of laughter, clutching her stomach at the sight of Laura’s head popping out from the snow.

 

Laura’s eyes widen when she sees Danny, Kirsch, and Theo approaching.  “What are you guys doing here?”

“Uh… I gave LaF my phone to hold onto at the rink and forgot to get it back from them,” Danny says, trying to process what she’s looking at. “You okay?”

Carmilla, having regained her composure, adopts a grave expression.  “This year, I lost my dear cupcake, Laura.”

Laura huffs.  “Quit telling everyone I’m dead.”

“Sometimes I can still hear her voice,” Carmilla continues somberly, making her voice crack.

 

Danny tries to stifle some laughter.

“LaFontaine is inside,” Laura says through clenched teeth, glaring at Carmilla.

“Thanks, Laura,” Danny says.  “Good luck with… whatever’s going on here.”

 

“You’re the worst,” Laura comments.

Carmilla chuckles and walks over to her.

“I don’t know why I put up with you,” Laura continues.

“Says the one who hit me with snowballs _twice_ today when I wasn’t looking,” Carmilla comments dryly.

Laura giggles.  “At least neither of them had ice in it.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Carmilla frowns.

She starts trying to dig Laura out.

“This is gonna take forever,” Carmilla groans.

She backs up a couple paces.  The air around her shifts and in her place is a black panther. She uses her paws to quickly and efficiently dig Laura out of the pile of snow.

 

Laura dusts herself off and smiles at the large feline, throwing her arms around its neck and squeezing her lightly in a hug. “Thanks, Carm.”

The big cat purrs and rubs its cheek on Laura’s coat, before pacing in a circle and settling into a spot on the ground.

Laura sits down next to her and snuggles up to her side.  “You’re so warm and fluffy,” Laura says, sighing contentedly.

Carmilla continues purring as Laura settles in further, staring up into the sky.

 

“One day, Carm, we won’t have to deal with all this crap from Silas, and we’ll have days like today, where we can just goof off and relax and chase each other around,” Laura says, her voice sounding far away.  “And I’ll teach you how to ice skate, and afterwards we’ll have hot chocolate, and be wrapped up together in blankets we can’t get out of, and be surrounded by a pet or two.”

She yawns.

“And it’ll be just you and me… in love…”

Laura’s voice trails off as she falls asleep and Carmilla’s paws pull her closer, wrapping her in warmth, imagining the picture Laura has just painted for her.

 _That would be nice_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holla at [Half_Blood_Slytherin_Creampuff](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Half_Blood_Slytherin_Creampuff/pseuds/Half_Blood_Slytherin_Creampuff) for asking for a Catmilla appearance!  
> Also, I've got four more chapters for this fic written out that need to be edited, and four more planned but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept more ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	21. Baby-Sitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Alchemy Club decides to start testing its theories on how to fix the situation, while Carmilla and the gang get stuck with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the fluffiest chapter (and longest) to date. This was the one that was originally supposed to go up Tuesday, but I had a feeling Thursday episode would wreak havoc on our emotions, which is why I bumped it. And for all of you that helped drag me back out of my depression over the past few days, thank you so much :)  
> Enjoy!!

Carmilla pours herself a glass of blood but frowns when she draws back the curtain and realizes the sun is high in the sky. She can’t remember the last time it was this late in the day and Laura was either nowhere to be found or hadn’t even bothered to tell her where she was.

 _I mean… it_ is _only noon… But still…_

As if on cue, the front door bangs open and a chorus of children shouting out Carmilla’s name echoes through the apartment. Carmilla strains to listen, but Laura’s voice isn’t one of them.

Danny and Perry are the first through the door.

“To what do I owe this… mild displeasure?” Carmilla asks flatly.

Perry wrings her hands nervously. “So…  T-Try not to freak out…”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow.  “And why would I freak out?”

Perry looks nervously over at Danny before LaFontaine bursts into the room behind them.  “Did you tell her what happened to Laura yet?”

 

Carmilla’s eyes widen and all pretenses at an apathetic façade fade away.  “What happened to Laura?”

“W-W-Well, the Alchemy club decided to get its act together and try to figure out what’s going on… and they were testing something out when Laura popped by to see how it was going…”  Danny gulps.  “The experiment ran slightly out of control…”

“ _What happened to Laura?_ ” Carmilla demands sharply, taking a step towards the three redheads, who visibly shrink.

 

“Dudes, be quiet,” Kirsch says softly, walking in with a small bundle in his arms.  “You’re gonna make her cry.”

“Make _who_ cry?” Carmilla asks, ready to rip the children limb from limb.

“The cutest lil’ bro to ever bro,” Kirsch answers, placing the bundle of blankets in his arms down on the chaise carefully.

Carmilla looks down in disdain to see a small baby, barely a year old.  “What is that?”

Perry takes a deep breath.  “That’s Laura.”

The baby in the blanket perks up and blinks slowly at its surroundings before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

 

“ _What_.” Carmilla stares at the others, her mouth open.  “What the _hell_ do you mean, ‘that’s Laura?’”

Kirsch gasps.  “Language!”  He covers Laura’s ears.

“Whatever the Alchemy club did, it just continued reverting ages, and Laura got caught in the mist they were testing out,” Danny explains.  “And now she’s stuck as a baby.”

“For how _long_?” Carmilla hisses.

LaF shrugs.  “They said a few days.  But they also said the same thing when we got turned into kids, so…”

“We managed to find some clothes and supplies from the daycare on campus,” Danny says.

Baby Laura fusses a bit and rolls over in her blanket. Satisfied with herself, she slowly pushes herself up and teeters near the edge of the chaise.

Carmilla rushes over and edges her back towards the middle of the piece of furniture, letting out a sigh of relief.

 

“This is just _great_ ,” Carmilla growls.  Laura takes the opportunity to crawl into Carmilla’s lap and throw her arms up in victory, and Carmilla’s face softens slightly.

“Anyway,” Perry says, smiling warmly at the sight before her, “LaFontaine and I were going to get more baby food and milk for her. And Danny and Kirsch were going to buy diapers and baby clothes and other stuff.  Will you be okay watching her?”

“Do I have a choice?” Carmilla asks, but there’s no edge in her voice as she looks down at the baby in her lap gazing up at her.

They wave goodbye to Laura, waiting for Kirsch as he gives Laura one last gentle hug and a, “We’ll be back in a bit, dude-baby.”

 

The silence that follows is quickly broken by a babbling Laura.

“Wow, you really _did_ always ramble, cutie,” Carmilla retorts, carefully removing Laura from her lap and placing her on the floor.

Laura blows a spit bubble and pops it, giggling and repeating the motion.

Carmilla chuckles and sits down beside her, watching as the baby rolls herself sideways before settling on her back. The vampire lightly tickles her stomach and hesitates before blowing a raspberry against it.

Laura is laughing and Carmilla’s pretty sure she’s never smiled this wide in her life, watching the baby slowly go back to babbling to herself.

Carmilla stands and tries to find something Laura can play with when she hears it.

“C-C-Ca…”

She turns and looks down at Laura, making the same exact bunched up, determined face that she knows and loves.

“C-Ca-Carm…”

“Yep, that’s my name, cupcake. Use it and don’t abuse it,” Carmilla grins, returning with a wrapped U by Kotex tampon, handing it to Laura.

“Carmmm. Caaarm…”

Carmilla smirks and watches as Laura fiddles with her new toy.

And then Laura starts gumming at it.

In a flash, Carmilla snatches it from her. “No!  No biting!” Carmilla commands, throwing the tampon across the room.

 

Laura’s eyes widen.

“Wait.”

A whimper escapes.

“Don’t pout.”

Laura pouts at Carmilla.

“D-Don’t…”

Laura bursts into tears, her mouth growing to a size that threatens to engulf her entire face.  
“…cry.”

Carmilla sighs and places Laura back in her lap, gently shushing her.  “I’m so, so sorry. So stop crying, Laura,” she says pitifully, almost begging.  She clamps her eyes shut and tries to stop her own panicking.  “I barely know what to do with you when you’re crying as an actual person. Please, please stop crying.”

 

She isn’t sure if it’s the desperation in her voice, but Laura does indeed cease crying almost immediately.

“Carm?”

Carmilla’s eyes snap open and she looks down to see Laura’s wide eyes staring up at her.  They’re still puffy and red, but they’re definitely Laura’s.

The vampire lets out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding and gently kisses Laura on the head.

Apparently the baby is completely over what just happened and crawls away from Carmilla.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, buttercup,” she grumbles, watching as a determined Laura makes her way around the room.

Carmilla grabs Laura’s phone and dials Danny.

 

“Hi, gingersnap,” Carmilla greets when the call picks up.  “While you and the puppy are out, can you pick up some stuff to baby-proof the place? Just in case.”

“Uh, this is Kirsch?”

Carmilla takes a deep breath to stop herself from commenting on the inflection.  “Okay, well, that doesn’t change anything, does it?  Except for the ‘gingersnap’ part.”

There’s a few seconds of silence before Carmilla feels her free hand ball into a fist.

“Which part is confusing you?” she snaps.

“You… want us to… baby poop the place?”

Carmilla sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Can you please put the redhead on the phone, please.”

There’s some rustling before Carmilla hears Kirsch mutter, “She’s grumpy or something,” and Danny’s voice comes on.

“Hey, sorry, I was trying to figure out which diaper brand was better.  What’s up?”

“We need to baby-proof the place,” Carmilla replies simply.

“Oh.  Okay! Is that all?”

“Yes,” Carmilla says, and then hesitates. “And hit the puppy for me.”

“Will do,” Danny says with a laugh before hanging up.

 

Carmilla sighs and looks down and her heart stops when Laura is nowhere in sight.  She curses under her breath.

“Cupcake?  Where did you crawl off to––”

A loud crash is heard nearby and Carmilla rushes over to it.  Laura was crawling near where Carmilla had placed her glass of blood down before and bumped into the desk, knocking it to the ground.  Shards of glass surrounded the area, and a startled Laura stares at the mess before crying again.  She’s covered in blood.

“ _Crap_! Crap, are you–– Is–– Is the blood yours?”  Carmilla drops down next to her and quickly checks the hysterical baby for any cuts, but all the blood seems to be from the glass.  She quickly whisks her away from the broken remnants and brings her to the bathroom.

 

The front door opens.

“Carmilla!  We’re back!” Perry calls.

She walks into the apartment, following the sounds of the wailing child, before stumbling upon them in the bathroom.

“What the––”  Her mouth drops open as she places bags on the ground. “We’ve been barely gone for an hour! How is Laura covered in blood?”

“I can explain,” Carmilla growls, wetting a towel.

“No!  _Gross_ , Carmilla,” Perry snaps. “You can’t just use a white towel to wipe that up!”  She clicks her tongue and leaves quickly returning with some baby wipes from the daycare center.

LaFontaine trails behind her and laughs at the scene. “Wow, Per, you weren’t kidding.”

They quickly take a picture and send it to Danny and Kirsch, captioned, “Baby’s Day Out,” quickly adding, “Laura shouldn’t be allowed near Carmilla’s food.”

 

Perry quickly wipes the blood off of Laura, who slowly calms down.

Carmilla sulks in the corner.

“Don’t feel so bad,” LaF says, trying to console her. “It’s not like any of us were prepared for this.”

Carmilla sighs and runs a hand through her hair. “Laura’s going to get killed by falling objects because of me.”

Perry sighs.  “We’ll just, uhm, be more careful, right?”  She gently pokes Laura’s shoulder.  “Won’t we?”

Laura giggles and claps her hands.

“And if it’s any consolation,” Perry continues, disposing the dirtied wipes, “Laura hasn’t stopped staring at you this whole time.”

LaF nods.  “Yeah, man!  Looks like Laur loves you, no matter what age she is.”

The edge of Carmilla’s lips twist upwards as the now-clean baby on the bathroom counter gives her a gummy smile.

  

* * *

 

 

Danny and Kirsch soon return, and Perry enlists the former to help her and LaF baby-proof the apartment.

Carmilla lounges on the chaise, watching Kirsch play with Laura on the floor.

“How are you so good with babies?” she asks.

Kirsch waves some plastic keys in Laura’s face and she grabs at them, giggling when he gently pulls them away. “I’ve got a baby sister,” he replies. “I mean, she’s not a baby, anymore. But there’s like, a fifteen year difference.”

Carmilla hums in response.  “I guess that’s also where that weird protective instinct you had for Laura came from?”

Kirsch shrugs.  “All I know is, Laura reminded me of my sister the moment I met her. Spunky.  Takes no poop from anyone.”  He rolls a ball towards Laura, who pounces on it.  “Right, little dude?”

 

Danny walks in with a few jars in her hands and places them down on the ground.

“Da-Da,” Laura babbles, beaming at the redhead.

“Oh, her father is just going to _love_ that,” Carmilla comments dryly.

Danny chuckles and produces one jar and a small spoon. “Are ya hungry, Hollis?” She looks down at the jar. “This one is banana apple mango.”

“It looks like barf,” Kirsch scowls.

Carmilla sighs.  “If Laura wouldn’t eat fruits when she’s an adult, what makes you think she’ll eat them as a baby?”

“Because it’s either this or she starves,” Danny quips. “It’s not like we can let her gum at a cookie.”

Laura perks up.  “Cookie?”

“Oh my god,” Carmilla groans, burying her face in her hands.  She sits on the chaise and watches the scene unfold before her.

 

After a few failed attempts of feeding Laura, complete with her stubbornly spitting the food right back out, Danny goes for a different jar.

“Okay, you annoying little infant,” Danny hisses, “how about herbed chicken with pasta?”

Kirsch frowns.  “Don’t call Laura annoying!”

“Whatever,” Danny snaps back, scooping up some of the food.  Laura clamps her mouth shut and refuses to open it.

Danny lets out a frustrated yell and pinches Laura’s nose.

Kirsch’s eyes widen.  “D-Bear!”

Laura finally opens her mouth and Danny shoves the spoon in.  The baby lets out a disgruntled sound and Danny pulls the spoon out with a triumphant cry. Laura narrows her eyes, a look they’ve seen before in her adult self, and spits the food right into Danny’s face.

 

Danny slams the jar down on the ground, making Laura jump.  “ _LISTEN, HOLLIS––_ ”

“D-Bear, calm down––”

Laura starts crying harder than ever before.

“Dammit!” Danny squeaks.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and plucks the baby off the floor and places Laura in her lap.  Laura squirms and buries her face into Carmilla’s shirt, still carrying on.

“Shh, shh,” Carmilla says softly and soothingly, rubbing Laura’s back.  “The crazy deranged redhead won’t bother you again, okay?”

Danny huffs and crosses her arms.

 

Kirsch picks up an unopened jar. “How about sweet potatoes?” He opens it and hands it to Danny.

“Yes, that sounds way more up your alley, right, cutie?”  Carmilla gently bops Laura up and down in her lap, smiling as Laura’s whimpers slowly die down and turn into giggles.

Danny hesitantly scoops up some food and brings it towards Laura.

“Babe, can you do us all a favor and eat some of this, please?” Carmilla asks softly.

Laura babbles a bit before indulging her and opening her mouth.  She swallows the food and Danny lets out a sigh of a relief before Laura finishes the entire jar.

 

Perry enters with LaFontaine and lets out a happy sigh. LaF grins.  “Okay, the apartment has been baby-proofed––”

Perry lets out a blood-curdling scream. “ _WHAT IS THIS UNHOLY MESS?_ ”

Danny looks around at the baby food splattered around the room and gulps sheepishly.  “Uhm…”

Danny, Carmilla, and Kirsch slowly look over at Laura, who waves at Perry and spits up some of her food.

Danny chuckles nervously.  “Would it be mean for me to blame it all on Laura?”

  

* * *

 

 

“Hollis, I’m giving you to the count of three to get your cute little butt back here,” Carmilla demands, not moving from where she stands.

Baby Laura had been fed, the apartment was cleaned, and Kirsch oh-so-generously changed Laura’s diapers for Carmilla. And then the group had left to go to bed because even though they were doing it together, taking care of a baby was _exhausting_.

Which left Carmilla alone with a baby determined to elude sleep any way she could.

 

She had tried simply picking Laura up and plopping her into the makeshift sleeping area they’d made for her, a nest filled with pillows and blankets on the floor, but the moment Carmilla turned away, Laura managed to climb out and crawl away.

So, Carmilla did what any practical baby-sitter would do, and she went out and bought a balloon filled with helium and tied it around Laura’s wrist so she could track her movements.  It limited Laura to the open space, but the floating red orb seemed to be mocking Carmilla’s failure at capturing the infant.

After that, Carmilla tried plucking Laura up and carrying her back, but they never made it.  Laura kept going slack and slipping out of Carmilla’s grasp. She wanted to tighten her hold on the baby, but didn’t for fear she would hurt her.

And thus began a massive chase, leading to Carmilla following after Laura, trying to coax her into her arms–– and failing miserably.  And apparently Carmilla had tied the balloon around Laura’s wrist too loosely, because it soon slipped off and the balloon bopped against the ceiling, taunting her.

 

“One…”  Carmilla glares down at the baby, who is quietly and defiantly sitting across the room.  “Two…”

Laura makes no movements and cocks her head to the side, blinking sweetly at Carmilla.

Carmilla swallows hard, slowly losing her resolve. “T… T-Two… and a half…”

Laura giggles and claps her hands together.

“Oh, to Hell with this,” Carmilla grumbles. She walks right past Laura and flops down on their bed.  Laura looks startled as Carmilla’s head hits the pillow and she leaves her leg hanging off the bed.  “If and when you feel like going to bed, you know where it is, cutie.”

A few seconds pass before she can hear Laura crawling around.  There’s a light tapping against her foot.

Carmilla huffs and sits up, looking down to see Laura poking her on the ground.

“What is it?” she asks, trying to keep the edge from her voice.

“Carm!” Laura shouts gleefully, lifting her arms.

 

Carmilla raises her eyebrow.  “Are you saying you want to sleep up here with me?”

Laura squeals before flopping onto her side and giggling.

Carmilla smiles and lifts her up, carefully placing her on the bed.  “Some rules. Pay attention, okay?”

Laura blows a spit bubble and places both hands on Carmilla’s knee before squeezing it.

“Okay.”  Carmilla taps her on the cheek.  “One: no crawling around. Two: if you need something, wake me up first. Three: we’re sleeping in tomorrow.  Four: I get to be the big spoon for once.  Any questions?”

Laura lightly pats at Carmilla’s knee.

“Good.”  Carmilla gently lies Laura down and turns off the light, lying down next to her. She stares into Laura’s eyes. That stubborn fire is already there, but just beyond that, Carmilla can see something else.  It’s something stronger than fondness.  It’s like an unconditional, pure love.

“Carm, Carm, Carm,” Laura babbles before yawning.

Carmilla grins and kisses her lightly on the nose, laughing when Laura scrunches up her little face.  “Goodnight, cutie.”

“G’night, Carm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shoutout to my [brother](http://ccc7ccc.tumblr.com/) for suggesting the balloon idea for this chapter!! <3 Love you, bud!  
> And the part with Laura crawling away from Carmilla to avoid bedtime was apparently something I did as a baby LOL  
> You might've also noticed that the fic now has a finite number of chapters, but that's always subject to change :D  
> I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas here and on tumblr! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay strong, cuties <3


	22. Maggy Burdee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby!Laura hijinks continue when Carmilla has to leave the apartment for a day, leaving the group of five year olds to deal with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, baby!Laura was supposed to be just one chapter... but you guys loved her so much and I had such a blast writing her that this extra one came pretty naturally.  
> (I was going to update in the morning but insomnia struck, so...)  
> Also, it currently appears this fic is going slightly canon-divergent with the inclusion of a fan-favorite character that wasn't in this story before...  
> Hope I did all your prompts justice! :)

“Stop pouting,” Carmilla says, aiming for strict and falling way short.

Baby Laura blinks at her innocently, her lower lip jutting out and trembling.

“I’m only going to be gone for one day,” Carmilla says gently.

Laura crawls across the bed away from the headboard and into Carmilla’s lap, nuzzling her face into her shirt and whining.

Carmilla almost melts on the spot. “Cupcake, it’s Mattie’s _birthday_.  After… everything, I’m not letting her spend another birthday alone ever again.”

This seems to get Laura’s attention as she pulls away, but her pout remains.

“Look, your friends are gonna take good care of you, cutie.”

Laura shakes her head.  “Carm.”

Footsteps echo through the apartment, followed by chatter.

“See?  That’s them now.”

 

Perry and LaFontaine enter first. “We’re ready for Laura-sitting duty,” LaF declares.

Kirsch snickers.  “‘ _Duty_ …’”

Danny rolls her eyes.  “Aren’t you relieved to know Laura will be in such capable hands?”

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow.  “I dunno, out of all of you, Kirsch was doing the best with her.”

He does a fist pump.  “In your _face,_ Lawrence!”

Baby Laura tries to imitate the motion and babbles, “Da-da!” followed by a raspberry.

“Great, I’m getting it from the little hyperactive potato, too,” Danny grumbles.

Laura cuts her eyes at her and actually lets out a huff.

 

“Is she not letting you leave?” Perry asks.

Carmilla sighs.  “No.”

Laura wraps her arms around Carmilla’s forearm and babbles something.

“I’m gonna assume that means, ‘Don’t go,’” LaF comments.

Carmilla phone rings and she awkwardly reaches for it while not prying Laura off her arm.  She answers the video call.

 

“Sis, where are you?” Mattie’s voice. “Birthday shindigs among sisters are difficult to manage where there are no sisters and no shindigs.”

Carmilla tilts her phone so Laura is in frame.

A look of grimace crosses over Mattie’s face. “What is that?”

“Well, Mattie,” Carmilla says with a shrug, “this is Laura.”

Laura grins at the phone and some drool ends up on Carmilla’s sleeve.

“Ugh,” Mattie groans in disgust. “I know it’s been a while since I’ve been around humans, but I thought five year olds were a _little_ more evolved than this.”

Carmilla laughs.  “No, there was a–– something happened and it turned Laura into a baby.”

Mattie raises an eyebrow.  “You’re not canceling on me, are you?”  She’s clearly aiming to sound threatening, but Carmilla’s known her long enough to sense the pain seeping through.

 

Carmilla gently kisses Laura on the head. “Buttercup, do you _really_ want me to leave Mattie alone on her _birthday_?”

Seemingly properly shamed, the baby detaches herself from the arm and looks up at Carmilla.

“Thank you,” Carmilla says warmly, giving her arm a light pat.  She looks at the phone in her hand.  “Be right there, Mattie.”

Mattie chuckles warmly.  “Fantastic.  See you soon, my little monster.”

Carmilla turns the camera back towards Laura. “Say, ‘Happy Birthday, Mattie!’”

Laura lets out a loud giggle. “Haggy burrdee Maggyyyy!”

Carmilla glances at her phone and Mattie looks amused before she hangs up the call.

 

“I promise, I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” She leans over and kisses Laura on the cheek.

Laura gives her a toothless smile and waves. “Carm!”

Carmilla gives her a soft smile. “Bye,” she says, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

 

Laura sits on the bed, eyes wide, and the others turn to look at her in concern as an awkward silence follows. A few seconds past before her smile slowly fades.

“Oh, honey, she’ll be back as soon as she can,” Perry consoles.

Laura lets out a whimper and shakes her head. “C-Carm?”  Her lower lip trembles.

“Crap, she’s gonna cry,” Danny frets.

Kirsch pushes his way to be right in front of Laura, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue.

Laura shakes her head again and sobs. “Wan’Carm!”

Perry rubs her back.  “I know, sweetie, I know.”

 

“Why don’t we play dress-up?” LaF suggests, grabbing Danny and Kirsch to follow them out.

 

* * *

 

A couple hours later, Laura is covered with a sunhat that fits around her entire head, shades all too large for her face, a few necklaces dangling around her, and a purse slung around her waist.

Clearly, the weight of the hat, sunglasses, and necklace are too much for baby Laura’s neck strength, because she keeps tilting forward.  Kirsch is sitting nearby, gently keeping the flopping infant upright by pushing her head back when she leans too far.

“This seems less fun than I thought it would be,” Danny frets.

Laura makes a panicked sound and Kirsch nudges the increasingly-horizontal girl from face-planting into the chaise.

“Maybe because the point of dressing up a baby is nullified by the fact that we know how grown-up Laura would look in these,” Perry points out.

Laura flops forward and makes a muffled sound against the inside of the sunhat.  Kirsch gets her upright again, laughing.

LaF lifts it and glances at the pouting baby below it. “Wassamatta, frosh?”

“Carm?”

They shake their head.  “Not yet.  Sorry, kiddo.”

Laura sighs sadly and starts gumming at one of her necklaces.

Perry gently pulls it out of her mouth and takes them away from Laura.  “Maybe some food will improve her mood?”

 

* * *

 

“Food is _not_ improving her mood!” Danny yells, ducking as some projectile baby food soars past her head.  The entire room is covered in splotches of baby food and formula.

Laura’s cell phone rings and everyone’s eyes widen when Kirsch reads Carmilla’s name off the caller ID.

Laura ceases her tantrum.  “Carm?”

Perry grabs it and leaves the room, answering it nervously.  “H-H-Hello?”

“Hey,” Carmilla voice answers. “Just, ah, checking up on everything.”

Perry tries to steady her voice. “Everything is fine.” It doesn’t work.

“How;s my mini-cupcake?”

“Uhm––”

 

“ _Hollis, you spit that piece of lint out!  Right now!_ ” Danny’s voice echoes into the hallway.

Perry closes her eyes and hopes Carmilla didn’t hear that.

“What was that?”

“Well––”

 

LaF’s voice is the next to cut into the hallway. “Kirsch, grab her! She’s heading for that stack of baby food jars––”

There’s a loud _crash_ , followed by Laura’s wailing.

“Carmilla, I’ll have to call you back,” Perry says urgently, hanging up.

Perry darts back into the room, finding Danny and LaFontaine trying to figure out how to even begin cleaning this mess, while Kirsch holds a crying Laura.

“Shh, baby-dude,” Kirsch tries desperately. “You’re good, you’re fine, you’re okay.”

Laura’s cries are slowing down to sniffles. “Wan’Carm,” she chokes out.

“I know you do, bro,” Kirsch says softly. “Believe me, I think we all want her right now.”

“But Hollis,” Danny says gently, poking Laura in the arm, “if you keep making a mess and stuff, Carmilla will have to come back here and leave Mattie.  You don’t want that, do you?”

Laura sniffles again but shakes her head. “Maggy burdee?”

“Yes, Mattie’s birthday,” Kirsch says.

 

LaF cautiously walks over with a jar with some baby food left in it.  “Can we try this again, Laur?”

They bring the spoon over and Laura frowns but opens her mouth.  She whines but swallows the gunk.

 

Laura’s phone rings again and Perry answers it.

“ _What happened_?” Carmilla demands, amidst some rustling.  “I’m coming back.”

“Don’t!” Perry yells.

Carmilla sighs.  “Is Laura okay?”

“Yup!” Perry answers cheerfully. She brings the phone over to Laura. “Say hi to Carmilla, Laura.”

Laura eyes the phone and for a second, Perry considers that she may have made a mistake.

To her immense relief, Laura smiles and lets out a squealing giggle.  “Caaarm Maggyyyy burrdee!”

Perry brings the phone back to her ear. She doesn’t miss the way the smile drops from Laura’s face immediately.  “See?”

Carmilla breathes out a sigh of relief. “Fine.  Keep up the good work, Raggedy Ann.”

There’s a click and the group looks back down at the sad Laura before them.

“Miss Carm,” she says quietly.

  

* * *

 

 

“I don’t get it,” Danny whines. “We’ve tried singing, dancing, playing games… what else could possibly cheer her up?”

“Baba,” Laura says softly from her spot on the floor.

“She wants a bottle?” LaF asks. “Is that what you want?”

Laura shakes her head.  “Baba.”

“We don’t know what ‘Baba’ is, sweetie,” Perry replies gently.  “Is it a food?”

“Uh-uh.”  Laura frowns.

“Do you want a ball?” Kirsch offers.

She shakes her head again.

Danny sighs.  “Is it a toy?  Or a game?”

“Ba… _ba_ …” Laura says slowly, apparently hoping this would work.

 

“Maybe we should call Carmilla,” Perry suggests. “She’s still not coming back for a while and Laura’s looking more morose as time goes on.”

“And what?  Ask her if she knows what Laura’s Baba is?”  Danny runs a hand through her hair.  “Dammit, this is so frustrating.”

Laura lets out a whimper.

“Dude, cut it out, you’re upsetting the baby bro,” Kirsch whispers.

“Man, Laur, why did you have to get caught in that Alchemy Club business?”  LaF clicks their tongue.

Danny rolls her eyes.  “Let’s not victim-blame here.”

They throw their hands up in the air. “This is just so infuriating! We’re already stuck in our five-year old bodies, and now _this_?”

“Calm down, honey,” Perry says gently.

LaF scoffs.  “Why should I be calm when we’re here with a _baby Laura_ who can’t even tell us what she wants?”

 

“She _wants Carmilla_ ,” Danny growls.  “Who left us here with her friggin’ baby girlfriend to go be with her _sister_.”

“But, it’s her birthday,” Kirsch points out.

“Mattie’s literally had over a thousand birthdays,” LaF responds with an aggravated huff.

Perry frowns.  “But ever since that whole thing with Lophii, Carmilla––”

“––Doesn’t wanna miss a moment with her, yeah, yeah, we know,” Danny says dismissively, her voice rising. “But missing this one to be with Laura wouldn’t have been the end of the world!”

Kirsch looks around him.  “Uh, dudes…”

Perry takes a step towards Danny, narrowing her eyes. “That’s not what I’m saying!”

“Dudes…?”

Danny glares back at Perry.  “And what are you saying?”

“ _DUDES_!”

They both look at Kirsch.  “ _What_?”

“Where’s Laura?”  Kirsch gestures around the floor.

Perry lets out a loud gasp as LaF curses under their breath, running a hand through their hair.

“ _Crap,_ ” Danny squeaks out.

 

* * *

 

It’s about an hour later when Carmilla reappears in the middle of the room, only to find the entire apartment in disarray. Upon her entrance, four pairs of eyes dart to her, only to immediately avert to the ground.

“What’s going on, tidbits?”

No one moves a muscle.

“ _What’s going on_?” she repeats sharply.

Perry wrings her hands nervously. “Well, uhm…  We seem to have…”

“We misplaced Laura,” LaF finishes.

 

Carmilla raises an eyebrow and takes a threatening step towards them.  “What the _hell_ do you mean, you misplaced Laura?”

Kirsch gulps.  “Well, the little bro was on the floor one moment, and the next…”

“We’ll find her,” Danny blurts out.

“How long has she been missing?” Carmilla demands.

“ _How long?_ ”

“An hour,” Danny mumbles.

“ _AN HOUR?_ ” Carmilla’s voice booms through the apartment.

 

“Look, she couldn’t have gotten far,” LaF says, their voice shaking.  “She’s in the apartment. Somewhere.”

Carmilla closes her eyes, pinches the bridge of her nose, and takes a deep breath.  “Where have you guys searched?”

“The bedroom, the kitchen, and now this living room,” Kirsch reels off.

“You all need to leave before I tear you limb from limb,” Carmilla bites out.

“Look, I understand you’re angry, but can’t this wait?” Perry offers cautiously.  “We have no idea where Laura was.  All we know was she was sitting here, asking for her Baba–– whatever that is––”

“I know where she is,” Carmilla says simply, and stomps out of the room.  The sound of her footsteps ascending the staircase echo into the living room.

“That could’ve gone worse?” Danny offers with an anxious grin.

 

* * *

 

Based off what they told her, and off a hunch, Carmilla went to the solarium.

 _Bingo_. Right where they'd left Bagheera, or, as baby Laura kept calling her, "Baba."

Baby Laura had somehow crawled up the stairs, made her way to the top floor, and was on one of the large chairs, curled around the stuffed panther Bagheera, sound asleep.

“Way to give everyone heart attacks, cutie,” Carmilla drawls.  She leans down and starts to scoop Laura and Baggy up, but the former stirs and her eyes slowly open.

“Carm?” she babbles.

Carmilla smiles.  “Hey.”

Laura blinks the sleep away and she focuses on the vampire in front of her.  Her entire face lights up with a smile.  “Carm!”

“Yep,” Carmilla answers, teleporting them into the bedroom.  She kisses Laura on the forehead.  “Missed you, cupcake.”

Laura waves the stuffed panther in Carmilla’s face. “Ca… Ca…”

Carmilla’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What?  Are you trying to say my name?”

Laura shakes her head and shakes Baggy again. “Ca…”

“Ca…” Carmilla imitates, trying to figure out what Laura’s attempting to convey.  “Ca… Cat?”

Laura nods.

“You want me to turn into a cat?”

Another nod, this time more enthusiastically.

Carmilla chuckles and lays Laura down on the bed. For a moment, Laura thinks Carmilla won’t oblige, but within a few seconds, a large black cat pads around the bed.

 

Laura playfully grabs at Carmilla’s swinging tail. Carmilla lets out an instinctive growl, but this doesn’t seem to faze Laura in the slightest as she crawls over to where the large cat has settled in and rests her tiny head against it.

Carmilla starts purring and gently nuzzles closer so that she’s wrapped around Laura.

  

* * *

 

 

Mattie teleports in with a phone in her hand. “Hey, sis, you forgot this––”

She freezes at the sight of baby Laura in a sea of black fur, as Carmilla purrs, asleep, as well.

“Oh, _god_ ,” she says, disgusted and rolling her eyes.  “I could’ve gone a whole other century without seeing something this revoltingly saccharine.”

The black cat opens one eye and glares at Mattie, who chuckles as she drops the phone on the bed.

“Goodnight, you big sap,” she comments before teleporting out.

 

The baby lying against her shifts a bit and then settles into a new position.

As great as birthday shindigs with her friend and sister for the past few centuries were, Carmilla finds herself grateful for the tiny form pressed against her.

“Lub Carm,” Laura murmurs softly in her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to [noneqaf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/noneqaf/pseuds/noneqaf), Himi, and [blueaoineechan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blueaoineechan/pseuds/blueaoineechan) for the encouragements to add this chapter, complete with baby!Laura, Catmilla, and Mattie! Also thanks to my brother for suggesting I have baby!Laura toppling over constantly LOL <3  
> Also, I've got three more chapters for this fic written out that need to be edited, and five more planned but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept more ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	23. Call Me, Beep Me, If You Wanna Reach Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a small debacle while food shopping, Laura finds herself in need of a new phone-- and in the middle of a iPhone vs Android debate, one that Carmilla is not ready to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, here endeth the era of baby!Laura. But in its place is some more requests from you lovely, amazing people!  
> I do realize this chapter wound up slightly light on the fluff, so if you find yourself in need of more, feel free to check out [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4828109) other childhood AU one-shot fic I just posted.  
> Enjoy!!

“Psst.  Carm? Psssssst.”

Carmilla groans and throws the pillow over her head, letting out a string of curses before her brain registers what she’s hearing. She jumps and sits bolt upright, staring at the girl next to her bed.  “Laura!”

Laura, back in her five-year-old body, beams at her, flashing teeth that were not there the night before. “Good afternoon, sleepyhead.”

Carmilla grabs Laura and pulls her close.

Laura giggles into the hug for a few seconds before letting out a strained, “Carm… Can’t… breathe…”

Carmilla immediately lets her go and runs a hand through her hair.  “Sorry. It’s just… you had me worried.”

Laura laughs and climbs onto the bed.

 

“Yeah, I woke up right as the sun was rising in this body and I tried to wake you up then, but you _really_ sleep like the dead.  So I went over to the Alchemy club and they said me reverting back into this body is actually super helpful for them figuring out what’s going on in the grand scheme of things.”  She stretches and grins. “ _Gosh_ , it’s nice to be able to speak again.”

“I dunno, you said my name _just_ fine,” Carmilla teases.

Laura chuckles, hugging Carmilla. “Anyway, I bumped into the others on my way back, and we need to go food shopping.  Wanna join?”

Carmilla smirks.  “Anything we can do together that doesn’t require me feeding you or changing your diapers is fine with me, cutie.”

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla groans.  “Ugh, why did I agree to come along, again?”

“Because it was better than feeding me or changing my diapers?” Laura grins at the vampire pushing the shopping cart.

“––How _dare_ you say fruit roll-ups are better than fruit-by-the-foot?!” Danny demands from behind them.

Kirsch stomps his foot.  “They are!”

Perry and LaFontaine run by the shopping cart.

“LaFontaine, we are not buying cheese that’s _that_ expensive for Squeakers! Come back here!”

“No!  Squeakers deserves the best!”

Carmilla buries her face in her hands. “Cupcake, I think sometime during this trip, my brain cells just jumped out of my ears to find greener pastures.”

 

Laura giggles and grabs another package of cookies to throw into the shopping cart.  She looks up and her eyes light up at something on a higher shelf. Laura turns to ask Carmilla to get it, but before she can, Carmilla reaches up and grabs two boxes of hot chocolate mix and tosses them into the shopping cart.

“Thank you, Carm!”

Carmilla turns to see they had left Danny and Kirsch bickering half an aisle behind them.

“I’ll get them,” Laura says, knowing Carmilla is reaching the limits of her patience.  “We’ll meet you and LaF and Perry at the cash register.”

“Thanks, cutie.”

 

Laura walks back and finds them arguing by a stack of cans.

“Canned chicken noodle soup is _nasty_ ,” Danny hisses.

Kirsch shakes his head.  “Nuh uh!  Maybe you’re not making it right!”

Danny lightly shoves Kirsch.  “You drive me crazy!”

Laura steps over warily.  “Guys, if you’re done here––”

Kirsch shoves Danny back, slightly harder than she shoved him.  “Hard to drive you crazy when you’re _already_ crazy!”

Danny lets out a frustrated yell and shoves him again, much harder.

Laura groans.  “Stop, guys–– let’s just go to the cash register––”

Kirsch shoves Danny again and in a flash, they’re both pushing each other and screaming.  Danny finally gives an extra hard shove and Kirsch stumbles backwards into Laura, who completely loses her balance and crashes into the large pile of canned soup behind her.

The entire display topples over on top of Laura and Kirsch, with the former taking the brunt of it.

 

“What the _hell_ are you two doing?” Carmilla growls, lifting Kirsch and basically tossing him aside so he’s away from Laura.  She glares down at him and Danny.

Danny gulps.  “I–– We––”

“We didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand,” Kirsch says quietly.

Carmilla takes a threatening step towards them. “You two little snot-nosed brats––”

“Carm, don’t,” Laura groans nearby and Carmilla stops and pivots to face her.

Her face softens and she helps Laura up. “But they––”

“––Are going to help me restack this whole pile of cans, and you’re gonna pay for our stuff and we’ll meet you outside, okay?”

Carmilla’s eyes glance down at the bruises starting to form on Laura and scowls.  She takes a deep breath.  “Fine.”

 

A middle-aged woman approaches them. “Oh, my!  Is your child okay?”

Carmilla and Laura share a look.

“She’s not my child,” Carmilla says through clenched teeth.

The woman cocks her head to the side. “Oh, sorry.  Sisters?”

Carmilla and Laura shake their heads, the former seeming like she’s ready to hurl one of the cans on the floor at the woman’s head.

“I’m fine, ma’am,” Laura says sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

The woman chuckles.  “Okay, dear,” she says, walking away.

“ _That_ was awkward,” Kirsch comments.  Carmilla shoots him a dirty look and he visibly shrinks.

“ _Clean this up,_ ” she snarls, and Kirsch nods frantically.

 

After ten minutes, the group steps outside in silence, with Carmilla still cutting her eyes at Danny and Kirsch. She ushers them into an abandoned alley and grudgingly teleports everyone back to the apartment.

“Uhm, this may be a bad time to mention it,” Laura says softly, tugging on the hem of Carmilla’s shirt to get her attention, “but when I fell in the store, I sorta… broke my phone.”

Perry clicks her tongue.  “I can’t believe that thing survived us running through the mountains for an entire winter, just to crack under a pile of canned goods while food shopping.”

Carmilla sighs and shrugs.  “Fine.  Let’s get rid of your Nokia and buy you a nice Samsung Galaxy.”

Kirsch lets out a loud, horrified gasp. “No!  The little dude is totes getting an iPhone 6!”

Carmilla scoffs.  “Dream on, meatball.”

“I… I, uh… I agree with Kirsch,” Danny offers.

“Need I remind you which two idiots were the ones who caused the canned food disaster in the store to begin with?” Carmilla snaps.

 

LaFontaine clears their throat. “Not to… argue with the angry vampire,” they say slowly, “but we _all_ have iPhones.”

Carmilla shoots them a glare. “And you’re also all imbeciles. Does that mean Laura should be an imbecile, too?”

“I think what they meant was that it’d be easier for all of us to be in a group chat if we all have iPhones,” Perry points out delicately.

“It’d also be easy if you all left Laura and me alone, but that doesn’t seem to be happening either, does it?” Carmilla retorts.

Danny huffs.  “Carmilla, we’re just saying it’d be easier––”

“––There is nothing easy about switching to an Apple product!” Carmilla growls.  “She’d need an Apple ID, and deal with iCloud, and the stupidity of My Music––”

“––It’s better than her enslaving herself to Google!” LaFontaine yells.

“Plus she doesn’t even get to do emojis!” Kirsch asserts, smiling when Danny nods emphatically in agreement. “At least, not the _good_ kind.”

“Ooh, emojis,” Laura whispers excitedly, mostly to herself, since everyone seems to have forgotten whose phone they’re even discussing amidst this phone operation software war.

 

“I mean, who the hell uses FaceTime?” Carmilla rages on.

“Well, who the hell uses Hangout?” Perry demands, her voice raising enough octaves to _really_ piss Carmilla off.

Carmilla charges right up to the child, looking ready to tear her limb from limb and before beating the other children with said limbs. “Google Hangout allows you to send and receive both Hangouts and text messages, both SMS and MMS, and switch easily between message types.  Your group chats can go up to a hundred people.  _And_ Hangout allows you to use photos, maps, emoji, stickers, and animated GIFs.  Video calls go up to ten friends.  It allows you to call any phone number in the world and all calls to other Hangouts users are free.  _Plus_ it works with Android, iPhones, _and_ the web!”

Laura sighs.  “Okay, guys, let’s––”

LaF wedges themselves between Perry and Carmilla, scowling.  “Calm _down_ , Larry Page,” they growl.  “Back off, or––”

Laura wrings her hands.  “I’m serious, take a deep breath or––”

“Or _what_? _You’re_ the ones trying to make _my_ girlfriend get an operating system dumbed down for the masses, and––”

“ _HEY_!” Laura finally bellows out, slamming her small but strong fist against the table. “ _Cut it out!_ ”

 

Carmilla backs away from the two angry children and turns to face her tiny girlfriend, sheepish.

“Did it occur to _any_ of you that this is _my_ phone we’re talking about, so _I_ should be the one that makes the decision?” Laura continues yelling.

Everyone grumbles some form of an apology. Laura takes a deep breath and sighs.

“Look, I’ll decide at the store, okay?” She glances around the room. “Without _any_ further input.”

The group nods and Carmilla quietly takes Laura’s hand and teleports them into an alley next to the nearby town’s store.

Which is when Carmilla realizes she’s made a grave mistake when a torrential downpour starts.  Laura jumps when a crash of thunder echoes through the alley and instinctively grabs onto Carmilla, who is so startled that she accidentally drops her own phone–– right into a puddle.

 

Carmilla lets out a string of curses and fishes it out of its watery grave before taking Laura’s hand and yanking her under a nearby awning.  The sky flashes with lightning and Laura jumps again.

“S-Sorry about your phone, Carm,” Laura whimpers, burying her face into Carmilla’s side.

“Shh,” Carmilla says softly, rubbing Laura’s back soothingly.  “Don’t worry about it.”

“Those diapers would really come in handy right now,” Laura deadpans.

Carmilla laughs and pulls Laura closer. “You dork.”

The rain eventually slows down a bit and the thunder indicates that the storm is slowly moving away.

 

“How’s your phone?” Laura asks, detaching herself from the vampire’s side.

Carmilla scowls at the useless waterlogged brick in her hands.  “Pretty much in the same state as Angel at the end of his show, season three.”

Laura giggles.  “Now who’s the dork?”

Carmilla glares at her playfully. “Let’s go get new phones, Hollis.” She holds out her hand and Laura takes it.

They enter the store and a worker approaches them. “How may I help you today?” she asks Carmilla, who glances down at Laura.

“We’re here to replace two phones,” Carmilla explains, taking the shattered Nokia from laura and producing her own broken Samsung.  “Did you make a decision yet, cupcake?”

Laura nods.  “I, uh…  I’ll have to go with an iPhone. Sorry, Carm.”

Carmilla smiles warmly at her. “Then I guess I’ll need an iPhone, too.”

Laura’s mouth drops open.  “Really?”

Carmilla shrugs.  “I could always download Google Hangout on the iPhone.”

Laura tries and fails to contain her smirk. “Sure, Carm.  Sure.”

 

* * *

 

“I’m so tired,” Laura yawns as they reappear in their apartment.

“Too tired to play with your new phone?” Carmilla teases.

Laura nods and flops onto the bed. “Yes.”

Carmilla lies down next to her.

“Having your body bounce back and forth between being five-years old and one-year old takes a lot out of you,” Laura comments, wriggling closer to her vampire.

Carmilla plants a kiss in her hair. “I can only imagine, cutie.”

Laura shudders.  “I can’t believe that woman in the store thought you were my mother. Or sister.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “What?  Did you want to tell her we’re girlfriends?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you,” Laura giggles.

 

A silence falls over them and Laura sighs. “Carm, I know I keep thanking you, but… I know this isn’t what you signed up for.”

Carmilla pulls Laura closer so the girl’s head rests on her chest.  “I don’t remember signing up to date you,” she says dryly.

Laura laughs softly and clears her throat. “That’s because you’re old and your memory is failing you,” she replies very seriously.

“You flatter me,” Carmilla states flatly, but smiles.

 

Laura yawns again.  “Carm?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna abuse the heck out of the heart-eyes emoji when we text.”

“I look forward to it, Laura.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to [Saiori](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiori/pseuds/Saiori) for the idea with Laura getting an iPhone and to [riverskys](http://riverskys.tumblr.com/) for Hollstein having to deal with someone in public addressing the age difference!  
> I'm glad to see some of you guys chipping in with ideas here and on tumblr! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay strong, cuties <3


	24. A Little Off Track

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura plays around with her new phone as she tries to reconnect with her father. Carmilla takes her to an amusement park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little light on the fluff, but I really want to make sure I can touch on everyone's prompts before I start wrapping up this fic :D Hope you all enjoy it!

Carmilla flips a page in her book when her phone buzzes.  She looks down, ignores it with a roll of her eyes, and goes back to reading.

“Psst,” Laura whispers from across the room. “ _Psst_ , Carm.”

Carmilla continues reading, pretending she can’t hear her.

“ _Carm_ ,” Laura says urgently.

“What?” Carmilla sighs.

“Aren’t you going to answer my FaceTime request?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

Carmilla puts down her book and narrows her eyes in a glare.  “ _Because_ , cupcake, we’re in the same room. Talking.  Right now.”

Laura picks up her phone and points at it. “But I wanna FaceTime you.”

Carmilla sucks her teeth and goes back to reading, not dignifying Laura’s request with a response.

 

The phone stops buzzing and Carmilla lets out a sigh of relief.

And then it buzzes again.

And again.

And–– after a few seconds–– again.

“Psst, Carm.”

Carmilla slams down her book. “ _What_?”

“Look at your texts,” Laura says, grinning widely.

Carmilla looks at her phone.  There are three text messages, both from Laura. One has two heart-eye emojis, and one just has a “ _Hi_ ,” followed by the heart emoji.  The last reads “ _Hello_?” followed by a sad-faced emoji.

Carmilla stares at Laura.

“Oh, come on, you’re not gonna respond to those, either?”  Laura pouts.

Carmilla cuts her eyes at her. “ _Fine_ ,” she relents.

 

She sends a reply that says, “ _Bye, Felicia._ ”

Laura’s pout grows.

  

* * *

 

 

There’s a knock on the doorframe. Carmilla doesn’t glance up from her book.  “Laura’s sleeping,” she grunts.

LaF shrugs and walks over to the bed anyway, poking the sleeping form.

Laura lets out a groan.  “What?”

“One app for changing your voice back to your adult self’s, at your service,” LaFontaine declares proudly.

Laura sits up, yawns, and rubs the sleep from her eyes. She slowly focuses on the phone in LaF’s hands and a smile brightens up her face.

“Oh, gosh, LaF, you’re the best!”

LaF shoots Laura a wink and hands the phone over. “And don’t you forget it, frosh.”

Laura hugs them and waits until they leave before quickly unlocking her iPhone and calling someone.

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow but remains quiet.

 

“Hey, dad!” Laura beams.  “Sorry I haven’t called in a while.  It took so long to get over that cold because we just kept passing it around.”

There’s a long pause as Laura’s smile fades and she starts sighing.

“Yes, dad, I’ve been taking my vitamins, but–– Well, yeah, we all live in the same apartment, so of course we’re in close proxim–– ”

Laura curls her hand into a fist.

“Yes, we’re all fine now,” she says through clenched teeth. “Anyway, I––”

Her eyes widen and she runs a hand through her hair.

“Uhm, yeah, I got a new phone. That was part of the reason why I wanted to call you.  The old one broke.” Laura closes her eyes for a few seconds. “I fell and it was in my pocket and broke.”

Her eyes clamp tighter as she takes deep breaths.

“Dad, I’m telling you the truth, I swear–– I just fell and it broke! You know how clumsy I am.”

 

Laura sits for a long time listening to the other half of the conversation before flopping onto her back, letting out the occasional “uh huh” and “mmhmm.”  Suddenly she sits bolt upright.  “Facetime? Now?”  She gulps.  “Uhh…”

Carmilla smirks and raises her voice, as if calling to her.  “Hey, cutie, are you ready to get going?”

Laura glances over and gives her a grateful smile. “Hang on, Carm!” she calls back. She mouths a ‘thank you’ before her smile drops off her face again.  “Yeah, dad, we’re uh… We’re going out to a small amusement park nearby.”

Laura lets out a small growl and punches the pillow lying nearby.

“Yes, dad, I’ll be safe,” she grumbles. “Talk to you soon. Bye.”

She hangs up and lets out a loud frustrated grunt and she throws the phone towards the wall.

 

In a flash, Carmilla is up and catches the phone. “Wow, cupcake, I knew you’d hate the iPhone, but not this much,” she retorts.

Laura huffs.  “That was even worse than usual!  I just wish he’d stop treating me like a little kid.”

“Buttercup, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but…”

Laura shoots Carmilla a glare.

“I know what you meant,” Carmilla clarifies. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be teasing you right now.”  She places Laura’s phone on the nightstand and sits down beside her.  Laura leans her head against Carmilla.

“He just makes me so angry,” Laura sighs.

Carmilla pats her knee.  Then she stands up so fast that Laura almost falls over. “I have an idea,” Carmilla says with a grin.

“What?”

“Let’s do what you told your dad we’re doing. Let’s go to a small amusement park nearby.”

Laura beams at Carmilla.

 

 

“So which ride would you like to go on first, creampuff?”

Laura glances around.  She looks past the merry-go-round, the pendulum ride, the water ride, the train ride, and the drop tower.  Her eyes land on the go-kart area and light up.  Laura points and squeals excitedly.

Carmilla chuckles as they approach it and read the signs.  “Looks like you can actually do this,” Carmilla says, “as long as you have an adult present in the car with you.”

Laura tackles her in a side-hug.

“Uhm, who said I was willing to accompany you?” Carmilla teases, laughing when Laura pouts.  “Come on, silly, let’s get in line.”

Laura fidgets while standing. “Thanks for this, Carm.”

Carmilla boops her on the nose. “Don’t mention it.”

A teenager clears his throat nearby. “You guys ready to go in?”

Laura nods before grinning up at Carmilla.

 

Carmilla smirks as they’re let into the track and get into a bright yellow car. 

“It’s perfect for you, huh?”

Laura points at the black stripes along the side. “It’s perfect for _us_.”

Carmilla gets in and pats her lap. Laura climbs into and settles in, giggling when Carmilla buries a kiss in her hair.  The track is filled now, and the light goes from red to yellow as the revving starts.

“Ready to burn rubber, sweetheart?” Carmilla asks, buckling them in.

Laura nods enthusiastically.   “Ready, Carm.”

The light turns green and the cars growl out past the starting line.  Immediately, Carmilla can feel the determination coming off Laura in waves.

 

It starts to manifest itself not long after as Laura swerves before there’s even a turn, aiming for the nearest car. She doesn’t hit it, though, but she gets close enough that the other car slows down.

“Whoa, Paul Walker, calm down,” Carmilla says gently.

Laura continues driving and, during the first turn, turns too closely to the barrier.  The back of their car taps the pile of tires, and it gets knocked over, causing a bunch of loud thumps and screeches as the cars after them hit them.

They make the turn and Laura continues down the stretch dangerously close to another driver.  “Yo, gimme some space, spaz!” a boy around ten years old yells over.

“I’ll give you something, alright,” Laura snaps, edging closer.  He tries to speed up but when that doesn’t work, he also drops back.

“Laur, as much as I love you bullying kids twice your size, this isn’t bumper cars,” Carmilla points out.  “Cut it out.”

They make another turn, but Laura seems to make a purposely-wide turn, edging the car turning with them out of the track and into the side.

This is the final straw, as a buzzer sounds. Except Laura doesn’t stop the car.

“Cupcake, pull over,” Carmilla says, an edge entering her voice.

Laura ignores her.

 

Finally, Carmilla sighs and uses her hand to carefully push Laura’s leg off the pedal and holds it as she presses on the brake with her own foot.

Laura unbuckles herself and leaps out. “What the hell was that for?” she demands.

The teenaged boy from earlier approaches them. “I’m sorry, but I’m gonna have to ask you to––”

“––Leave.  Yeah, yeah,” Carmilla interrupts, grabbing Laura by the arm and gently tugging her along.

Laura finally pulls her arm free with a scowl when they’re outside.

“What is going _on_ with you?” Carmilla asks.

Laura crosses her arms and glares at the ground.

 _“Laura_.”

Laura slowly brings her eyes up to look at Carmilla.

“What is going on?”

“Is it…”  Laura cuts herself off with a shake of her head.

“What’s the matter?” Carmilla asks softly.

Laura swallows hard.  “Is it wrong of me that sometimes I wish my mom hadn’t died, _just_ because it changed my dad into such a paranoid freak?”  She shrugs. “I feel like I’m dishonoring her memory just because sometimes that feels like the worst thing that happened that night.  It wasn’t losing her, it was like losing _both_ of my parents.”

 

Carmilla frowns and kneels so they’re at eye level. “Laura, there is nothing wrong with you or how you feel, okay?” she says softly.

Laura sniffles.  “But––”

“No ‘buts,’” Carmilla says, pulling Laura into a hug. “A terrible thing happened to you and you’ve come out of the other side as a strong woman–– albeit a tiny, tiny woman. If your dad makes you feel any different, then that’s on him.”

Laura nods against Carmilla’s embrace. “Okay,” she says, her voice cracking.

Both of their phones buzz and Laura pulls away, checking it.

“It’s the group text,” Laura says, quickly wiping away her tears.  “They must’ve seen my Snapchat of us in front of the park and want to join us.”

Carmilla pulls out her own phone and frowns at it.

“I’m not sure I want anyone else to be around me right now,” Laura says slowly.

Carmilla nods and unlocks her own phone. “Leave it to me, cutie. At least now with the iPhone group chats, my ‘no’ will reach them quicker.”

Laura giggles.

Carmilla finishes typing out her message and pockets her phone.  Laura looks down at hers when it buzzes.

 

_**Broby Dick:** D-bear and I want to join Carmilla and Laura at the amusement park!_

_**LaFAndTheWorldLaFsWithYou:** Yeah, Per and I would love to do the same!_

_**Carm** : No. If I see any of you here, I will teleport you into the middle of the go-kart track and laugh as you get run over by a 165-lb car._

_**PerIlous** : Well, that wasn’t very nice._

 

Laura giggles.  “ _Carm_ …”

“Cupcake, you _said_ you didn’t want them here––”  Carmilla says, starting to defend herself.

“Thank you,” Laura finishes sweetly. “I mean, I know you didn’t do it for me, but––”

“Yeah, yeah,” Carmilla cuts in, clamping her hand over Laura’s mouth.  “How about we go on that slow water ride through a tunnel or something?”

Laura nods, making no motion to remove Carmilla’s hand from her mouth.  Their phones buzz and Laura glances at hers.

_**PerIlous** : Laura, have you seen the news or spoken to your father today? He made a pretty tough arrest this morning.  Child predator._

 

Laura’s eyes widen.  “I _knew_ something was up during that call,” she mumbles.

Carmilla gives her a small pat. “Maybe you should…?”

Laura nods, quickly texting Perry her thanks before dialing her father.  She gives Carmilla a side hug.

 

“Hey, dad,” she says as cheerfully as possible. “I, uh…”  She takes a deep breath.  “I just wanted to say… that I hope you never stop worrying about me, okay?”

A few moments pass before she giggles.

“ _Yes_ , I’m having fun with Carm.”  Laura laughs again and Carmilla smiles.  “Bye. Love you, too, dad.”

 

Carmilla kneels down and kisses Laura on the cheek. “You okay?”

Laura nods.  “I just forget sometimes that he lost her, too,” she says quietly. “And that I’m his kid and he doesn’t want to lose me, too.”

Carmilla pulls Laura into a hug for a few seconds before rising and taking her hand.  “To the Tunnel of Love?”

Laura beams at her.  “To the Tunnel of Love.”

They get into a ride and Laura snuggles up to Carmilla’s side.

She pulls out her phone and opens Snapchat.

Carmilla puts up minimal fuss when taking the selfie and laughs when Laura puts the heart-eye emoji text in it before sending it out.

 

She also puts up minimal fuss when Laura sends her a FaceTime request that night as she roams around as a giant cat. She holds the phone in her mouth when she stalks around the forest as the girl on the other end giggles in bed.

Laura eventually drifts off to sleep, so Carmilla changes back and hangs up on her.  She grins as she types out a quick text to Laura––

––“ _Bye_ ,” followed by the kiss-blowing emoji.

Maybe the iPhone wasn’t so bad, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to to [Saiori](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Saiori) for a bunch of ideas for Laura's phone shenanigans and to [Vanessa](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/38984135) for the go-kart prompt!  
> Also, I've got one more chapter for this fic written out that needs to be edited, and four more planned but I'd like to keep it going if I can... which means I'd be more than happy to accept more ideas from you guys! Feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	25. Cast Away Your Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura tries to plan a surprise for Carmilla, which ends in typical Laura fashion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Just wanted to thank everyone who's been reaching out to me on tumblr. You are all so amazing and the support on there and on here has been a large part of motivating me to keep this going after every episode! <3

“Pleeeeeease?”

“Laura, no.”

“Pleasepleaseplease _please_?”

“ _Cupcake_.”

Laura tugs at the hem of Carmilla’s shirt.

“Cut it out, you’re gonna stretch it out,” Carmilla growls, swatting her hand away.

“Oh no,” Laura deadpans.  “What ever will you do without _this_ black t-shirt when you have a million others?”

Carmilla narrows her eyes at Laura and grabs her phone, shoving it into her pants pocket.

“Can I please come with you, Carm? Please?  Pretty please?  With a cherry on top?”

“I hate cherries,” Carmilla says as Laura grabs her wrist, batting her eyelashes at the vampire.

“C _aaaaaaa_ rm.”

“La _uuuuuur_ a.” Carmilla gently removes Laura’s hand. “This is a lecture in New York City about the potential hereditary effects of large traumatic events and their implications,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighing. “They’re not gonna let a five year old into the venue.”

 

Laura tugs Carmilla into an awkward hug, leaning her head against Carmilla’s waist.  “But how long will you be gone?” she whines.

“Three hours, max.”  She lightly pries the clinging girl from her side and gives her a kiss on the cheek.  “Just go play with your friends or something.”

Laura sighs and pouts.  “ _Fine_.”

Carmilla chuckles and takes a step back. “And try not to get into any trouble.”

Laura nods, still pouting.

“Goodbye, Laura.”

Laura stops pouting and rushes into another hug, nuzzling her face into Carmilla’s stomach before letting go and backing away. “Have fun, Carm,” she says, beaming at her.

Carmilla smiles and gives a lazy wave before disappearing in a loud of smoke.

 

Perry pops her head in and looks around the room. “Is she gone?” she whispers.

Laura nods.

“And she doesn’t have any idea?”

Laura grins.  “None.”

 

* * *

 

Carmilla teleports back into the room a few hours later, glancing around to find that Laura is nowhere to be found.

LaFontaine knocks on the doorframe. “Carmilla?  Is that you?”

“No, it’s the tooth fairy,” Carmilla replies sarcastically.

Perry appears behind them.  Both look equally nervous.

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow.  “What?”

The two children exchange a nervous look.

“ _What is it?_ ”

Perry gulps.  “It’s Laura…”

Carmilla takes a step towards them. “What about her?”

Perry laughs nervously.  “Uhm… She…”

“…Broke her arm…” LaFontaine finishes. “She was–– uh, doing something, and she fell pretty far.  Danny and Kirsch took her to the hospital.”

Carmilla swallows hard.  “Is she okay?  How long ago was this?”

“A couple hours ago,” Perry answers quickly. “I’m sure she’s fine. Just a broken arm.”

“What was she doing when she fell?” Carmilla asks.

LaFontaine shrugs.  “She, uh… wasn’t here when it happened.”

 

Carmilla sighs, grumbles something about being grateful at them, and teleports out to an alley across the street of the hospital closest to the campus.  She enters it and walks up to the reception desk.  The lady smiles at her.

“Is there a Laura Hollis here?” Carmilla asks, trying and failing to keep her voice steady.

The lady starts typing on her computer.

Carmilla taps her foot impatiently, biting her lip. “She should have a broken arm?”

“Ah, yes,” she says.  “I remember her.  Quite a cutie!”  The woman clicks the mouse a couple times.  “Are you her mother?”

 _Not this again_. “No.”

The woman smiles, seemingly waiting for the screen to load.  “Sister?”

“No.”  Carmilla checks the urge to grab the woman by her collar and throttle her. “What room is she in?”

“Oh, she was discharged about an hour ago,” the woman says, her eyes returning to the screen. She looks back at Carmilla. “Wait, are you Carmilla?”

Carmilla nods.

“Laura left a note for you on her way out,” she says, producing an envelope.

Carmilla takes it and mumbles a ‘thanks’ before leaving the hospital and opening the envelope.

 

“ _Carm,_

_Sorry about all this running around you’re probably doing! I would’ve texted you but I fell on my phone and broke it and Danny’s battery died while we were at the hospital. I hope you’re not too worried. And that you were nice to that reception lady.  I liked her. She gave me a cookie._

(A bunch of cross-outs blur the page)

_Danny is telling me to hurry up and finish this note so just meet us here, okay?_

_Love,_

_Cupcake_

_P.S. I forgot to write the address.  Hee hee._ ”

 

Carmilla glances at the address scribbled at the bottom of the page.  It was a warehouse near campus.  _Why is she there?_

She teleports to the front of the building and spots the back of a particularly small redhead.

“Where’s Laura?” Carmilla demands immediately, making Danny jump.

“Uh… she’s…”

“How did she break her arm, anyway?”

Danny laughs nervously and leans on the door. “Look, why don’t we go inside––”

“Tell me what happened,” Carmilla growls.

Danny taps on the door and after a few seconds it opens a sliver, and Laura slips out.

 

She has a cast on her arm and a few bandaged cuts on her face.  Her lip is also split and slightly swollen.

“Hey-a, Carm!”  Laura tries to grin at her but winces when it tugs her lip in the wrong way.

“Laura…” Carmilla says, deflating a bit at the sight of her.  She quickly finds her rage, though.  “What the hell happened? I was barely gone four hours!”

Laura stiffens a bit at the yelling. “How about we go inside and talk about this?”

Carmilla starts to protest, but Laura looks so pitiful and ready to cry, so she relents and waits as Danny opens the door.

She and Laura step through and Carmilla peers into the dark room.  “Laura, wha––”

 

Suddenly, the lights flicker on. Laura, Danny, LaFontaine, Perry, Kirsch, Mel, and Theo shout out, “ _Surprise_!”

Perry wheels a cake in front of Laura, who stands behind it.

“Happy Birthday, Carm!” she yells out with a smile.

Carmilla stares at the scene before her, mouth open. “What…”

“When Mattie called from Morocco the other day to see how things were here, she also told me that your vampire birthday was today,” Laura explains brightly.  “She said she’d be here but she also said you tend to get more broody around your birthday and that she’s not as good at handling that as I am. And _then_ she said some not-so-nice things–– threats, we’ll call a spade a spade–– about how if I were to mess up your birthday celebration she’d come here and skin my ‘tiny ass and use it as a lamp shade.’”

 

Carmilla continues to stare at Laura, not moving from her spot in the doorway.

There’s a large banner hung up in the rafters that reads _Happy 337 th Birthday, Carmilla!_ with cartoon cupcakes and a black cat painted on it. Black balloons and streamers fill the space.

Her eyes wander back over to the tiny girl behind the cake, seeing Laura’s smile falter.

“Oh, no.  I did, didn’t I?  I messed it up,” Laura pouts.

Carmilla tries to make herself speak, to tell Laura she didn’t, but the words won’t come.

So, of course, Laura starts rambling.

 

“I just really didn’t want to mess up your birthday party.  And it didn’t have anything to do with Mattie threatening me.  Although it’d be really nice if she didn’t use my tiny ass as a lampshade. I just really wanted to celebrate you for everything you’ve done for me and my friends so I asked her when it was, except I never took into consideration that maybe you didn’t even _want_ to celebrate it and instead I just had my friends lie to you to get you here and you were probably worried the _whole_ time when I stupidly fell from the rafters trying to hang up that banner and Perry and LaFontaine had to send you to the hospital even though they knew I left already––”

“Laura.”  Carmilla kneels in front of Laura and grips her shoulders, cutting her off. “You didn’t mess _anything_ up, okay?”

 

Laura takes a deep, shaky breath, and nods.

“Can we sing you ‘Happy Birthday?’” she asks quietly.

Carmilla smiles.  “Of course, cutie.”

LaFontaine eagerly lights the candles–– three question marks–– and Laura beams at Carmilla.

The kids start chiming in one by one, disharmonized and discordant.  “ _Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday, Carmilla, Happy Birthday to you!_ ”

“Make a wish!” Laura squeals. Carmilla smiles and waits a couple seconds before blowing out the candles.

Perry makes quick work of cutting the cake so that everyone gets the same sized piece, except Carmilla’s, whose slice is almost twice the size of everyone else’s.

 

She and Laura settle down on a slightly sagging couch.

“What’s with the warehouse?” Carmilla asks, taking a bite of her cake.

“The Zetas use it for partying,” Laura answers.

She struggles to stab a piece of her cake while keeping the plate in her lap with one hand, so Carmilla puts down her fork and gently does it for her.

“Thanks, Carm.”

“I can’t believe you broke your arm over this,” Carmilla sighs.

Laura sighs.  “Sorry if I got you all worried.”

Carmilla gives her a one-armed hug, carefully avoiding the broken arm.  “So what exactly happened?”

 

“Well, I made a show this morning of being super clingy that way you wouldn’t suspect anything,” Laura begins.

Carmilla chuckles.

“I was going to leave a note saying to meet us here. But then I was trying to hang up the banner with Danny and her side was too low so when I went to lower mine I leaned too far and I fell and crashed onto one of their old beer pong tables.”

Carmilla doesn’t comment on Danny’s part in all this. “Explains the cuts.”

Laura grins sheepishly before continuing. “Yeah, so, Danny and Kirsch took me to the hospital, but we weren’t sure we’d make it back in time, so I asked LaF and Perry to get ready to stall you at the apartment after they brought the cake over here.”  She takes a bite of said cake.  “It wound up not being necessary, but then they were stuck in the apartment with no way of getting here before you for the surprise, so…”

“You had them send me to the hospital,” Carmilla finishes.

Laura nods.  “You _didn’t_ hurt that lovely receptionist, did you?”

“No, cutie.”  Carmilla smirks.

 

Laura lets out a sigh of relief. Perry wanders over with a small plastic box.  “Found them, Laura,” she says, smiling.

“Thanks!” Laura grins, putting down her cake and popping open the box with her hand.  “I was going to have everyone sign my cast,” she explains.  “But since you’re the birthday girl and artist, you get the blank canvas first.”

Carmilla grins and finishes her cake before getting to work on the cast.

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla regards the badly-wrapped, trident-shaped package before her.  “Gee, I wonder what it is,” she says flatly.

Kirsch elbows Theo, raising an eyebrow with a grin. “See, dude?  NO idea.”

Theo sighs and buries his face in his hands.

Carmilla unwraps it and looks at them expectantly.

“You’re an honorary bro of the Zetas, now!” Kirsch declares proudly.

Carmilla gives them a polite smile. “Thanks.”

“Happy Birthday!” they shout and make their way back to a couch.

 

Danny and Mel approach her with their present next, having not bothered to wrap it.

“And here is a bow and arrow from the Summer Society,” Danny says, flashing Carmilla a smile.

“And why we’re all basically arming a vampire, I won’t comment on,” Mel adds.

Carmilla flashes a fang.  “Think of it as payment for me not eating all of you.”

Mel scoffs, mutters a “Happy Birthday,” and walks away. Danny produces a small box and hands it to Carmilla, who opens it.

“It’s a key,” Carmilla says, confused.

Danny grins at her.  “I know you can teleport and stuff, but if you ever want access to the Summer’s house, just use it on the front door.  It’s our way of saying you’re always welcome there.”

“You’re always welcome at the Zeta house, too!” Kirsch calls out.  “We just don’t have a lock!”

Carmilla chuckles.  “I don’t know what to say.  Thank you.”

“Happy Birthday, Morticia,” Danny says warmly, returning to her seat.

 

LaFontaine comes over next as Carmilla watches them carefully.

They hand her a small rectangular box. Carmilla opens it and pulls out a black plastic cup with a built-in straw.  “At the base of the straw is a filter for cleaner drinking, in case the blood is ‘bad’ or has some kind of bacteria or whatever,” LaF explains. “I’m also working on a way to flavor the blood using that cup but I’ll need you to help out with those taste tests.”

Carmilla smirks.  “Thanks, Gingie.”

They give her a thumbs-up.

 

Perry’s next and hands her a large, flat box. Carmilla opens it and pulls out a pair of black leather pants.  “Cool,” she comments.

“Stick your hand inside,” Perry commands.

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow and does as asked, her eyes widening as a smirk forms.

“It’s leather on the outside and fabric on the inside,” Perry explains.  “That way you look badass as always but can be comfy while doing it.”

Carmilla finds herself chuckling. “Alright, alright, Red. Not bad.  Thanks.”

“Happy Birthday, Carmilla,” she replies pleasantly, rejoining LaFontaine in their couch.

 

Laura quietly walks over, carrying a box with her good arm as Danny helps her.  Her cast is now covered in marker ink, showing an impressive illustration of a starry night sky in a galactic swirl of colors.  Signatures are scattered through the cast in a metallic marker.

They set the box down and Laura gives Danny a grateful nod.

“So… promise you won’t call me stupid,” Laura begins, placing her hand on the top of the box so Carmilla can’t open it yet.

“Oh, this is going _swell_ ,” Carmilla retorts.

Laura pouts.  “Promise!”

“I promise,” Carmilla says, rolling her eyes.

“Okay.”  Laura takes a deep breath.  “Okay. Well, I went back into the pit where the Lustig was––”

“––You did _what_?”

Laura flinches.

 

“We all went with her,” Kirsch asserts. “Just to make sure nothing happened to your little dude.”

Carmilla scoffs.  “You’re a proud little lemming, aren’t you?”

He nods enthusiastically and Carmilla buries her face in her hands and sighs.

“Look,” Laura cuts in.  “I–– _We_ –– went to the pit and the anglerfish god is still dormant.  They waited outside just in case while I climbed in, _carefully_ , that way I could get you _these_.”  She opens the box, showing a bunch of dusty and old, but still intact books.

Carmilla is unable to stop her mouth from dropping open. “Laura…”

“I, uhm…  Well, I found as many of the books you had in our old dorm as possible. I also got the yellow pillow and some clothes I found there, but those aren’t in the box.”

“They’re in the laundry,” Perry adds.

“Yeah.”  Laura gives her a nervous smile.  “Happy Birthday?”

 

Carmilla hasn’t moved or said anything for a while and just stares into the box at her books, many of which are treasured first editions.

Laura swallows hard.  “Okay, you’re right, this was stupid and dumb, so I’m just gonna…” She starts to close the box and Carmilla kneels down beside her, placing a hand over Laura’s.

“Stop.”

Laura looks at Carmilla and blinks back tears.

“Laura, I…”  Carmilla’s voice cracks and she clears her throat.

Perry stands and ushers the others to leave them alone in the warehouse.

 _I’ll have to remember to thank her for that later_ , Carmilla thinks.

 

“Laura, I have no words for how grateful I am you did all this for me,” Carmilla says softly.  “The celebration itself was more than enough, but then the cake, and the banner…”

She gestures at Laura’s broken arm.

“And now, this–– a box full of books that could _not_ have been easy to get? Books that I held near and dear to my heart, that I never spoke about… because what are material things when I have you?”  A few tears roll down Carmilla’s cheeks.  “But you got them anyway.”

Laura gives her a watery smile. “You’re not mad I climbed down into the pit?  Or that I freaked you out after breaking my arm?”

 

“No, babe,” Carmilla chuckles. “And none of this was stupid or dumb. And neither are you.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”  Carmilla pulls Laura into a hug.  “Thank you so much for all of this, cutie.”

Laura giggles.  “Happy Birthday, Carm.”

“I’m not quite sure what I ever did to deserve you,” Carmilla whispers.

“Uhm, you stomped into my room and said, ‘ _Carmilla. I’m your new roommate, sweetheart._ ’”

Carmilla laughs.  “Shut up, cupcake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to [thedrummerthatwrites](http://archiveofourown.org/users/thedrummerthatwrites/pseuds/thedrummerthatwrites) for the idea that Laura tries to convince Carmilla not to go to some lecture and that once Carmilla leaves, things go awry.  
> I've got one more chapter written after this that needs to be edited and three more planned out, so we're set for the rest of this season haha.  
> Additional thanks to all of guys chipping in with ideas here and on tumblr! I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay strong, cuties <3


	26. (Cat)Nip It In The Bud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Carmilla finally snaps and yells at everyone, LaFontaine comes up with an idea that leads to a very amused Laura watching after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, hope you're all hanging in there!  
> I've still got a few more prompts to go through and then there's the last chapter to wrap everything up ^-^ You guys have been amazing.  
> Also, FYI, Danny _is_ in this chapter briefly, so do what you will with that information :)  
>  I may or may not have written this chapter while sleep-deprived to make it seem Carmilla’s weird ass lines feel more authentic LOL  
> Enjoy!! <3

Carmilla sighs.  She’s not sure what it is about today, but she’s more on edge and in a worse mood than she’s been in a while.  And the children screaming–– definitely not helping.

LaFontaine was in a particularly annoying mood, purposely tracking in dirt from outside around the apartment. Perry was following them, spraying Clorox behind them and wiping furiously, but all her attempts were made in vain as LaF simply went outside to restock on dirt.

Kirsch and Danny were fighting over who should get the TV remote next and more than once the device had flown across the room and landed near Carmilla, who glared at the children with enough anger to practically melt them on the spot.

But the squabbling and bantering continues, with Theo and Mel’s added presence only exacerbating things.

Now, Mel is yelling at Kirsch for picking on Danny just because, “you’ve got a broner for Lawrence.”  And Theo is throwing a Frisbee around the apartment, purposely aiming so that it almost grazes people without actually hitting them.

 

Laura plops herself down next to Carmilla. “Hey, Carm, can I borrow your phone?”

Carmilla grits her teeth as the Frisbee floats by them. “Why?”

Laura grins.  “That’s for me to know and for you to dot, dot, dot…”

LaFontaine runs into the building with a pile of dirt and throws it into the air, cackling as Perry lets out a blood curdling “noo _oooo_ o!”

“No,” Carmilla replies curtly.

Laura pouts.  “But _why_?”

Danny and Kirsch start a tug-of-war over the remote control again, swatting at each other with their free hands.

“Because you have your own damn phone, which we _just_ replaced _again_ ,” Carmilla snaps.

“I’m not gonna do anything bad on it,” Laura swears. “Cupcake’s honor.”

Carmilla sighs exasperatedly. “Laura––”

 

Theo throws the Frisbee too close to the wall and it bounces off it, crashing into a vase and sending it plummeting to the ground. It shatters, startling Danny, who lets go of the remote, and it soars across the room and hits Carmilla in the head.

The din suddenly stops as the children focus on the very angry vampire.

“That’s _IT_!” Carmilla yells, rising from the chaise and slamming her book against the wall.  “Nap time, everyone, _now_.”

“But, dude, it’s only three in the afterno––”

“ _NOW_!” Carmilla shouts, picking up a piece of the broken remote control and whirling it close to Kirsch’s head.  “I don’t care _where_ you are, lie down on your side and _go to sleep_.”

It takes a couple of seconds for the children to recover from the shock of seeing Carmilla totally lose her cool, but Laura is the first to do as commanded, and the others soon follow.

Carmilla stomps out of the apartment and slams the door behind her.

 

Danny starts to sit up, but Kirsch tugs her back down. “Bro, don’t do that–– what if she comes back?  She’s totally raging her beans right now.”

“Stop trying to make that a thing,” Danny hisses back. “’Raging her beans’ will not be some inside joke between us no matter how hard you try.”

LaF sighs and sits up from their spot on the floor near the pile of dirt.  “I’ve never seen her so angry before.”

Perry shrugs.  “We _were_ being really noisy and disruptive.”

“She almost took Wilson’s head off,” Theo points out, clutching his Frisbee fearfully.

“Like he didn’t deserve it?” Mel asks.

Laura sighs and sits up.  “Okay, clearly Carm’s a bit on edge,” she frets.

“Wait, Laur,” LaFontaine begins, running a hand through their hair, “Carmilla does stuff like rub her cheek on you, shake water off like a cat, and purrs, right?”

Laura nods.

They smirk.  “I have an idea.”

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla stands outside the apartment door. Losing her temper like that was a bit embarrassing and, to be honest, sitting under her favorite tree on campus had done nothing to make the shame or whatever residual annoyance she felt go away.  There is something else at the root of the matter, and she has no idea what it was. But hiding from it and from Laura probably wouldn’t solve anything.

 _Probably_.

She takes a deep breath and opens the door, listening in the doorway.  She isn’t delusional enough to think everyone _had_ actually gone to take a nap after she’d left, so she’s a bit confused when the entire apartment is completely silent.

She slowly makes her way upstairs and finds Laura on her laptop.

“Hey, cutie,” Carmilla greets tentatively. She hopes her little outburst earlier didn’t freak Laura out too much.

Laura looks up from her laptop and grins. “Hey, Carm.”

Carmilla lets out a sigh of relief. “I, uh… about earlier…”

Laura closes her laptop and gets off the chaise, grabbing Carmilla by the hand and leading her to sit down. “Don’t worry about it,” she says warmly, kissing her on the cheek.

“I feel like you deserve an explanation,” Carmilla says softly.  “Although I’m not sure how good it’d be, because I’m not even sure myself why it happened.”

Laura giggles.  “I’m pretty sure it’s all the stress of dealing with half a dozen kids for the past few months.”

 

Carmilla chuckles softly.  “Maybe.”

Laura pats her knee reassuringly before hopping off to leave the room and coming back with a plate of baked goods. “Perry, LaF, and I made these.” She offers the vampire the plate. “Want some?”

Carmilla sniffs the air and smiles. “These smell better than usual.”

“Is that a ‘yes?’” Laura asks smugly.

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a playful glare and picks up a muffin.  She devours it in seconds and her eyes widen.  “Wow, these are _amazing_!  What’s in them?”

“Can’t give away our secret ingredient,” Laura smirks.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow but her appetite trumps her curiosity as she eats a couple cookies and another muffin. Pretty soon, the entire plate is empty.

 

“Feel better?” Laura asks.  There’s something extra in her voice, but Carmilla can’t be bothered to place it.

In fact, Carmilla can’t be bothered to do much–– except slump down to the floor and roll around on the carpet. “Mmm, _much_ better,” she says, a dopey grin on her face.

Laura tries to suppress some laughter.

Carmilla flops over on her side and raises her head lazily.  “What did you _dooooo_?” she asks lightly.

Laura bites her lip and chuckles. “LaF had the idea to buy some catnip. Perry and I baked it into those goodies.”

“Wh _yyyyy_?”

“It was to take the edge off,” Laura explains carefully.  “I was afraid that the pressure of taking care of me was getting to you and I just wanted to help.”

“I’m not taking care of you,” Carmilla huffs. “You’re the one taking care of me.”

Laura raises an eyebrow.  “Huh?”

“You bring _light_ into my life, Laura.  You’ve got such drive and determination and you see the world in so many colors. And you _care_.”

“You care, too,” Laura points out carefully, sitting next to the vampire on the floor.

“Thanks to _you_ ,” Carmilla giggles, tapping Laura on the nose.

The sound of Carmilla _giggling_ is contagious and makes Laura laugh too.

 

Carmilla lays her head in Laura’s lap and after a few seconds, starts purring.

Laura runs her fingers through Carmilla’s hair. “Feeling calmer?”

Carmilla nods and Laura can feel her smile. Laura grins and leans her head against the side of the chaise.

 

“Sorry for yelling earlier,” Carmilla says quietly.

“Carm, you’ve been wearing yourself thin,” Laura replies gently.  “Speaking as someone who, once upon a time, literally had the weight of the world on her shoulders, you don’t need to take on so much.”

Carmilla rolls over so she’s staring right up at Laura. “I love you.”

Laura smiles.  “I love you, too.”

 

Carmilla titters and rubs her back on the ground, rolling off Laura’s lap and rubbing her fingers on the carpet. “Whoa,” she breathes. “It’s so carpety.”

“That it is,” Laura chuckles.

Carmilla pouts.  “It’s also kinda ruggy.”  She continues to stroke the carpet and nuzzles her face against it. “Hello, Carpet-Rug.”

Carmilla rolls over and fans herself out, moving her arms up and down.

“I’m making an _angel_ , Laura,” she whispers.  “A _carpet_ angel.”

“It looks really good, Carm,” Laura says sweetly.

 

Carmilla’s mouth drops open and she gasps loudly. “Did you know the ceiling was that color?”

Laura peers upward.  “White?”

Carmilla squints.  “Is that what it is?”

“What else would it be?”

“White doesn’t sound like the right word,” Carmilla says seriously, rolling so she’s lying on her stomach and kicking her legs and staring into Laura’s eyes.  “It’s like a creampuff color.”

“Are you saying I’m the same color as the ceiling?”

“ _No_!” Carmilla yells out urgently.  “Laura, you’re like the color of sunshine and beauty and cuteness–– like if they all exploded and crashed into each other.”

“Okay.  Cool,” Laura says, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

 

Carmilla cocks her head to the side. “Hey, Laura,” she whispers.

“Yes, Carm?”

Carmilla takes a deep breath. “Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left?”

Laura’s heard this joke plenty of times when she was a child, but decides to play along.  “Repeat.”

Carmilla lets out a dramatic sigh. “Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left?”

“Repeat.”

“Pete and Repeat were in a boat. Pete fell out, who was left…”

 

* * *

 

Carmilla rolls over to find Laura tucked into her side on the bed.  Judging from the sunlight, it’s early morning.  She has fuzzy memories from the night before, but she does remember that Laura and her friends spiked her baked goods with catnip.  And that this is the most relaxed she’s felt in a long time.

“I swear to Cookie Monster if you tell me that stupid Pete fell out of a boat again, I’m breaking up with you,” Laura grumbles.

Carmilla laughs.  “You’re the one who gave me cat drugs, cutie. And kept playing along.”

Laura opens her eyes groggily and smiles. “Figured it was the least I could do.”

Carmilla kisses her on the forehead. “I meant everything I said, you know. You bring light into my life and take care of me as much as I take care of you.”

Laura nuzzles herself closer to the vampire. “Did you also mean what you said about the carpet being carpety and ruggy?”

 

Carmilla scoffs.  “Of course.  It’s the perfect combination of carpet and rug.”

Laura laughs and yawns.  “Silly… Carm…”

Carmilla waits a few seconds before shifting a bit. “I also meant it when I said I love you,” she says softly.

“I should hope so,” Laura says, stifling another yawn. “Coz I meant it when _I_ said it.”

Carmilla grins.  “Hey, Laura?”

“Hmm?”

“Why _did_ you want my phone yesterday?”

Laura chuckles.  “I wanted to change my contact name on your phone to the cake emoji.”

“Well, now I’m even _more_ sorry I yelled at you,” Carmilla deadpans.

“You can make it up to me later,” Laura mumbles, “by changing it yourself.”

Carmilla hums.  “Your wish is my command, buttercup.”

Laura nods.  “Now, go back to sleep, Carm.  The only way I was able to get you to go to bed was by playing ‘chase the cupcake.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to to [Himi](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/37209798) for the idea that Carmilla loses her cool and tells them all to take a nap. And thanks to [riverskys](http://riverskys.tumblr.com/) for the prompt of Carmilla with catnip! There's also an inside joke with [Kswan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kswan/pseuds/Kswan) included in here :P  
> If you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I don't bite... much  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	27. Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets closer to finding out what is (or what isn't) causing this entire mess, while dealing with the new hormonal mess they've been thrown into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all survived that doozy of a finale!  
> And thus begins the slow wind-down of this fic...

Laura turns on the camera and clears her throat. “Hello, viewers. I know it’s been a while since the last update, but most incidents of the Alchemy club’s attempts to fix this entire semester’s… _situation_ … were isolated and didn’t seem to call for a wide-scale information session.” She clears her throat again. “Until now, that is.”

Laura drums her fingers on the table.

“They made a couple attempts and one turned me into an infant for a few days, so clearly that didn’t work. But whatever they’ve just tried has affected the entire campus, and it seems to be getting them closer to the correct solution.”

She takes a sip from her TARDIS mug.

“As I’m sure many of you are aware of… the Alchemy club has somehow managed to turn us all into teenagers.  Not all the way back to our regular selves, but like–– fourteen years old?”  Laura sighs. “Which, for some of us, wasn’t the best time of our lives.”

 

Carmilla bounces into the room. “Speak for yourself, cutie!”

“And, for some of us,” Laura says with a grin, “it was _before_ we got a chip on our shoulder.”

Carmilla practically skips up behind Laura and gives her a wide hug, resting her chin on Laura’s shoulder.  “Now I’m the chip on your shoulder, grumpy-wumpy.” She taps a button and the broadcast ends.

“ _Carm_ ,” Laura giggles, “I wasn’t done yet.”

Carmilla pouts.  “Okay, but you’re like, almost you-sized again, and I’m all human and teenager-y, so can we enjoy this?” she asks.

Laura nods and gives her a peck on the lips. Her phone rings but she glances down at the caller ID and silences it.  Carmilla frowns and starts to ask about it but is interrupted as Danny enters the room and trips over a chair leg.

 

“Damn, I forgot how long my limbs are,” she grumbles.

Laura glances over.  “Wow, you really did hit your growth spurt weirdly, huh?”

Danny rolls her eyes.  “Yeah, well, if you think _I’m_ having a weird time adjusting, wait til you see Kirsch–– or, rather, _hear_ him.”

Laura and Carmilla share a look before shrugging.

After a few seconds, Kirsch quietly enters the room and sits down.

“What’s up, Kirsch?” Carmilla asks sweetly.

“Not much, how about y-ou?”  His voice cracks on the last word and he blushes, covering his mouth.

Danny bursts out into laughter and playfully punches him.

“D-bear, st-op laughing a-t me!” he whines, his voice alternating between a deeper tone and a high one.

Carmilla giggles and everyone jumps at the sound.

 

“Damn, yo, this is too weird for me,” Danny declares, standing back up.  She taps Kirsch on the shoulder.  “Come on, Human Recorder, let’s race around the quad again now that my legs aren’t stubby little limbs.”

Kirsch grins and nods, not trusting his voice.

Carmilla tugs Laura over to the couch and snuggles into her side, grinning.

“I really like seeing you this happy, Carm,” Laura says softly.

Carmilla chuckles and buries her face into the crook of Laura’s neck.  “You make me happy.”

“I do?”

The surprise in Laura’s voice shocks Carmilla, but before Carmilla can address it, Laura’s phone rings again and she ignores the call.

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together. “Who is––”

Laura leans forward and kisses Carmilla, cutting her off.

Carmilla pulls away and starts to ask again, sighing when she sees LaFontaine enter the room.

 

“Have either of you seen Perry?” they ask flatly.

Laura turns to face them.  “No.”

LaF sits down and looks absolutely morose.

“Hey, are you okay?”  Laura asks, walking across the room and sitting next to her friend.

LaF shrugs.  “I haven’t seen Per since we got turned into teenagers, that’s all. I guess I’m worried,” they answer monotonously.

 

Perry walks in and glances around. “Oh, okay.  I thought it was just me,” she says, chipper as ever. “I was vacuuming the basement and then suddenly the floor seemed farther away.”

LaF sighs.  “Why bother?”

“‘Why bother,’ what, sweetie?” Perry asks sweetly.

“Why bother vacuuming?  It’s just going to get dusty again.  It’s pointless.”

“Okay, what is _up_ with you?” Laura demands.

“Oh, LaFontaine was a bit on the sullen side during their teenage years,” Perry explains, giving LaF a side-hug.

 

“ _Everything_ feels pointless,” they murmur, leaning their head on Perry’s shoulder.

“I know, I know,” Perry says, patting them. “How about we go over to your lab now that you make the height requirement again and you can see if that makes you feel any better?”

They frown at her.

“Oh, come on.  I was there when you had your epiphany in high school, LaFontaine,” Perry says, grinning.  “When you realized that science explains the world around you and gives everything purpose, it put a light into your life.”

LaFontaine shrugs.  “I think it was more my hormones balancing out, Per.”

“Well, it couldn’t hurt,” Perry declares decisively. “And, who knows? Maybe we’ll figure something out. Let’s go.”

They wave at Laura and Carmilla before leaving.

 

Carmilla sighs contently.  “It’s so nice to see a long, true love like theirs that exists on so many levels.”

Laura quirks an eyebrow at her.

“What?”

“It’s just… weird seeing you all sunshine and rainbows,” Laura answers.

Carmilla smirks and leans in, giving Laura a peck on the lips.  “And it’s weird seeing _you_ all down in the dumps. Why so glum, chum?”

Laura giggles.  “I know you somehow got stuck as a teenager with the rest of us, but I really like seeing you so carefree.”

“And you’re deflecting,” Carmilla notes, wrapping an arm around Laura.  “Who’s been calling you?”

 

“Wow, now I know what you mean when you call me annoying for being so nosy,” Laura says dryly.

Carmilla narrows her eyes at her playfully, but her eyes betray her level of concern.  Laura stays quiet for a few more moments and she thinks her question might just go forever unanswered before Laura sighs.

“Today’s the anniversary of my mom’s death,” she mumbles quietly.  “My dad’s been calling me to see if I’m okay.”

Carmilla’s eyes widen.  “And are you?  Okay?”

Laura shrugs and gently pulls out of Carmilla’s embrace.

“Look, I might be more sunshine-y than I usually am, probably because I’m not feeling all cold on the inside or low-key craving blood,” Carmilla says carefully, “but I feel like there’s more going on here than you’re saying.”

“It’s my mom’s anniversary, Carm,” Laura says flatly.

“I know,” Carmilla says.  “But there’s something else.  Ever since we woke up in our teenager bodies, you’ve been acting weird.”

 

Laura swallows hard.  “It’s just… I…”  She sighs and stands up, pacing.

Carmilla watches her patiently.

“I looked in the mirror, okay?”

Carmilla cocks her head to the side, confused.

“I looked into the mirror and saw the Laura Hollis that hadn’t grown into herself yet.  The Laura Hollis that didn’t have any sense of self-worth because her mom was dead and her dad was too busy protecting her and not encouraging her or empowering her.  The Laura Hollis whose teeth were too big for her small mouth and whose nose was too prominent and who was made fun of for being too tiny or too large in all the wrong ways…”

Her voice cracks and Carmilla rises, starting to go to hug her, but Laura steps away.

“…And I keep thinking, what if I’m still that girl? What if that Laura Hollis never went away, and the girl who tried so hard freshman year to be better than all that failed, because I’m right back here, anyway?”

Carmilla shakes her head.  “Laura, you’re the most empowered and confident person I’ve ever met.  And it’s not some act you’re putting on, or it would’ve faded a long time ago. It’s a real, natural drive and fire that you have, and it’s why I love you.”

 

Laura drops back down in the seat beside Carmilla. “Really?”

Carmilla nods.  “I’m gonna chalk up all this foolish self-doubting to teenage hormones, because the idea that you’d even think that you’re anything but my hero is too much for my little human brain to comprehend.”

Laura laughs and playfully swats her shoulder.

“Ouch,” Carmilla whines dramatically. “I’m mortal now, you know.”

Laura grins and presses her lips against Carmilla’s before pulling back.  “I guess I’m going to have to be _really_ delicate with you now.”

Carmilla pouts.  “Well, not _too_ delicate.”

 

* * *

 

Laura yawns and stretches, watching Carmilla sleep peacefully.  Even in her slumber, Carmilla has a small smile that Laura’s never seen before when she was unconscious.  In spite of how happy Carmilla insists Laura makes her, it always seems like the toll of immortality is most prevalent during Carmilla’s sleep.  But now, even with the weird happenings on campus, Carmilla looks so serene and _young_.

That is, until their door bangs open and LaFontaine bursts in.

Laura jumps and Carmilla groans and rolls over.

“We figured so much out!” they beam, and Laura can’t help but smile at seeing them look less empty than when they left.

Perry slowly enters after them and sits down, trying to catch her breath.  “Danny… and Kirsch… are on their way,” she pants out.  LaFontaine sits down beside her and hugs her.

“So the Alchemy club are working off several avenues of thought,” LaF begins.  “When they turned you into a baby, they just wanted to see how manipulating the particles in the air would work.  When they realized they were going the wrong way, they apparently tried altering components so the effects would go the opposite direction.”

“But that can’t be what happened here,” Laura replies. “Because it also worked on Carmilla and turned her into a teenager.”

LaF nods excitedly.  “Exactly!”

Laura furrows her eyebrows together. “I don’t get it.”

 

“Have you ever heard, ‘Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth?’”

Laura nods.

“Whatever is causing this to continue and messing with the science behind things, it’s not because of anything the chemical society or the alchemy club did,” LaF explains.  “I checked it and their concepts are sound, yet the results don’t make sense. They may have caused it initially, but I think they were right–– we should’ve stopped being kids after like, a few days.  Something _else_ is causing us to stay like this.”

Carmilla finally sits up.  “What does that mean?”

LaF runs a hand through their hair. “Okay…  In science, there are some reactions that can occur, but occur so slowly that they might as well never happen at all.  Unless, we introduce something that can speed up the reaction–– a catalyst.”

“So, you’re saying that whatever the chemical society and the alchemy club did in the beginning–– it was a catalyst?” Laura asks.

LaFontaine nods and gives a fist pump. “Hollis gets it!”

 

As if on cue, Danny and Kirsch walk in, carrying a small, clear bowl.  Danny trips over the chair leg again but manages to keep the bowl from spilling. Something small, barely visible is floating around in it.

“What is that?” Laura asks.

Danny places the bowl down on Laura’s desk. “Not my problem, that’s what it is,” she says smugly.  Laura gives her a quizzical look and then glances at Kirsch.

“It’s lo-phii,” he replies, his voice cracking again.

Laura and Carmilla’s eyes widen.

LaF grins.  “Whatever is causing all this…  It’s powerful enough to have shrunk Lophii into a guppy.”

 

* * *

 

Laura rests her hand on Carmilla’s waist, deepening the kiss.  Carmilla smiles against her lips and pulls Laura closer, chuckling when Laura lets out a small squeal.

“You’re such a distraction,” Laura giggles.

Carmilla grins.  “Your dad can wait, cutie.”

“Carm, he keeps asking for pics of us.”

Carmilla shrugs.  “Send him a picture of us making out.  I’m sure he’ll stop after that.”

Laura rolls her eyes and pulls away, angling the phone for a selfie.

Carmilla grudgingly obliges and smiles, her entire face lighting up.

“This is the last time I’ll ever get you to smile in a picture, isn’t it?” Laura teases.

Carmilla laughs.

Laura starts editing the picture on her phone before turning it towards Carmilla.  “What do you think?  Do I look like a convincing twenty-one year old?”

“I’m not sure you looked like a convincing twenty-one year old when you _were_ in twenty-one year old body, cupcake.”

Laura cuts her eyes at her.  “No more kissing for you.”

Carmilla smirks and pulls Laura back towards her. “But you’re so irresistible.”

“And you’re impossible,” Laura fires back, before leaning in for another kiss.

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla wakes up, suppressing the urge to groan. The slight cravings for blood have returned, and she can feel the centuries etched into her being.

“Hey-a, Carm,” Laura says brightly. “Are you all broody and vampire-y again?”

Carmilla huffs and cracks one eye open. “Guess so,” she grumbles at the five year old.

Laura giggles.  “Yeah, Danny came in and vowed revenge on that chair leg she kept tripping over. And Kirsch is happy his voice isn’t cracking anymore.  And Perry–– well, nothing really changed there.”

Carmilla sits up and motions to Laura for a hug, but Laura slides back off the bed.

“Speaking of things not changing…” Laura holds up the bowl with the tiny Lophii swimming around in it.  Its small fangs are protruding from its mouth and the lure dangling from its head is the size of a pea.

“Why didn’t it change back?” Carmilla asks, watching as the small fish stares at her through the bowl.

Laura shrugs.  “But LaF wants to keep it so they can maybe run some tests or something on it.”

“Of course they do,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura puts the bowl down and rummages through a small plastic bag, pulling out a small canister.

“Open wide, lophii!”

 

Carmilla’s mouth drops open.  “Are… you feeding the anglerfish god?”

Laura nods and continues sprinkling fish food into the bowl.  “Hope you’re hungry!”

Carmilla buries her face in her hands and lets out a groan.  “When you said that you hoped we’d have pets one day, this wasn’t what I had in mind, buttercup.”

Laura wanders back to the bed and settles into Carmilla’s side.  “Look, if we’re gonna have our first pet, it might as well be the deity that brought us together,” she states.

“Fine.” Carmilla scoffs but tugs Laura closer. “I can’t believe you ever doubted your own self-empowerment and self-confidence.”

Laura giggles and grabs Carmilla’s shirt in her fist. “Thank you again for handling me being down in the dumps during my mom’s anniversary, Carm.”

“No problem, sweetheart.”  Carmilla lies back down and gently pulls Laura to join her.

Laura yawns and tucks herself in closer to Carmilla.

 

“Hey, Laura?” she asks drowsily.

“Yeah?”  Laura mumbles back, her voice just as sleepy.

“Your mom would be so proud of the strong woman you’ve become.”

After a few seconds of silence, she hears Laura sniffle. “She also would’ve loved you,” Laura says, nuzzling her face against Carmilla.  “Not as much as I do, though,” she quickly adds.

Carmilla chuckles and listens as Laura’s breathing evens out, hoping more than ever that she could protect the girl in her arms from any more damage that the world throws her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this prompt was actually one of the first ones I got for this fic, and it was such a goodie and had so much potential for plot advancement that it wound up getting buried way late in the fic. Sorry about that, [carmillacarter](http://archiveofourown.org/users/carmillacarter/pseuds/carmillacarter)! But thank you so much for the idea! <3  
> Also quick shoutouts to [blueaoineechan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/blueaoineechan/pseuds/blueaoineechan) for the concept of throwing a quick thing about Laura's mom's anniversary in there, and to [tryke14](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tryke14/pseuds/tryke14) for asking for a baby lophii :D  
> We're entering the last few chapters of what I have planned for the fic now, but if you've got some prompt you'd like to request, feel free to hit me up in the comments or on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) :)  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!


	28. The Replacement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Carmilla heads out for a day to pick up some stuff for Lophii, Mattie comes to watch over Laura... although it winds up being Laura who watches over Mattie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun to write! Sorry it took so long-- I've got four midterm exams next week, so that's been sucking up a lotta time... but after that, hopefully I'll be good to go back and getting more chapters up :)

Laura crosses her arms and scowls. “This isn’t fair.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Laur. Carmilla has to go,” LaF states bluntly.

“Just because my vampire girlfriend doesn’t have to worry about pressure depth and nitrogen narcosis doesn’t mean we can send her on every single errand related to Lophii,” Laura sighs.

Carmilla smirks.  “Look, cupcake, this is considerably less perilous than diving after a sword that could burn me alive.  I don’t mind going to get this stuff.”

Laura pouts and walks across the room, hugging Carmilla and resting her cheek against her waist.  “But _I_ mind.”

Carmilla chuckles and gently pries Laura off her so she can bend down and kiss her on the cheek.  “Think about it this way–– how hard could this be to get, buttercup?”

Laura bunches up her face and shrugs.

“My only concern is that things seem to be escalating around here, and it’s all exacerbated when I leave my favorite cupcake alone,” Carmilla frets.

“ _Carm_ ,” Laura says, her pout returning, “I’m your _only_ cupcake.”

Carmilla grins and pats her on the head. “That’s true.  Which is why I need to make sure you stay that way.” She pulls out her phone. “Time to call in the cavalry.”

  

* * *

 

 

Mattie appears in a puff of smoke, clad in a short black dress and red heels.  “Hi, sis,” she greets warmly, pulling Carmilla in for a hug.

Carmilla hangs on for a second longer before pulling away.  “Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

Laura walks into the room and jumps a bit at their guest.  “Oh, hi, Mattie,” she says cheerfully.

Mattie glances down at the child. “Well, she seems to have progressed _a bit_ since the last time I saw her.”

Laura frowns.  “I was a baby the last time you saw me.  I’m not a baby now.”

“Ah, details,” Mattie says dismissively.

Laura starts to make a remark back at her but Carmilla cuts in.  “I shouldn’t be gone too long, okay?”

Mattie nods.

“LaF is out getting more blood bags,” Laura says, sitting down on the chaise.

Mattie smirks.  “Oh, but I was so looking forward to something a little more… from the tap.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes.  “Mattie…”

“Relax, Carm.  I won’t eat your little truffle.”

 

Carmilla sits down next to Laura. “I’ll have my phone on me the whole time.  Call if you need anything?”

Laura nods and wraps herself around Carmilla’s arm. “You really don’t have to do this, though.”

“I know,” Carmilla smiles.  “I want to.”  She kisses the top of Laura head and gives Mattie a quick wave before teleporting out.

Laura presses her lips together and drums her fingers on the chaise as Mattie raises an eyebrow.

“Soooooo,” Laura begins awkwardly. “Kill anyone lately?”

Mattie groans and walks out of the room.

  

* * *

 

 

“Hey,” Laura greets when Mattie walks out of the bathroom, toweling her hair dry. “Wanna watch a movie with me?”

Mattie rolls her eyes and walks past her. “No.”

Laura deflates a bit. “It's a _scary_ movie.”

“See above re: No,” Mattie snaps. “I'm not Carm. I'm just here to make sure you don't crack your silly egghead open.” She tosses the towel at Laura. “I'm going to sleep.”

Laura huffs and puts the towel back before settling into her chair again and starting the movie.

 

Half an hour into the movie and an entire bowl of popcorn later, Laura is hugging Bagheera tightly when her phone rings and she jumps.

“H-H-Hello?” Laura stammers, frantically pausing the scene of a bloody handprint appearing on bedsheets.

“Laura? You okay?”

Laura takes a deep breath and clutches Baggy tighter. “Mmhmm.”

Carmilla chuckles on the other end. “Cupcake, are you watching a scary movie?”

“Maybe,” Laura says guiltily.

“Well, I assume that means everything is going fine, then?”

Laura pouts. “I miss you. When are you coming back?”

“One of the guys I was supposed to meet up with got lost and turned around and went home,” Carmilla growls. “He rescheduled for tomorrow so I'm at a motel now. I'll meet with him after the other guy.”

 

Laura starts to respond, but a loud crash from the bedroom makes her jump.

“What was that?” Carmilla demands.

Laura bites her lip and wanders towards the noise carefully. She pokes her head in through the doorway and sees Mattie thrashing in her sleep.

“Hey, Carm, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Don’t worry about it.” She hangs up and slowly approaches the seizing vampire.

_This is dumb, Hollis. So, so, so dumb._

 

Laura reaches out and pokes Mattie’s arm. “Hey,” she tries gently. She places her whole hand on her shoulder. “Mattie, wake up. You’re just dreaming. You're just—”

The vampire’s eyes snap open as she snarls and she slaps Laura’s hand off her shoulder, grabbing her by the neck.

Laura gasps for air as Mattie’s grip tightens, her eyes wild.

“Mattie,” she rasps. “It’s me.”

It takes a few seconds before Mattie blinks and sees Laura— _really_ sees her—and immediately lets her go.

Laura drops to her knees, coughing and wheezing.

 

“What the— what were you— _how_ —”  Mattie is breathing heavily and looks down at the girl on the ground. “A-Are you…?”

Laura finally pushes herself up from the floor and climbs onto the bed. “Are you okay?” she asks, her voice hoarse.

“Am _I_ okay?” Mattie’s mouth drops open. “Are _you_ okay?” She gingerly removes Laura’s hand and glances at the large bruise forming.

Laura shrugs with a wince. “I'm not the one who was having a nightmare.”

Mattie scowls and sighs.

“Wanna talk about it?” Laura offers sweetly.

 

“I want to talk about whether I damaged my sister’s stunted pet,” Mattie snarks before her face softens. “…It was a nightmare.”

Laura shifts closer. “Do you want to talk about that?”

Mattie shakes her head and looks confused at Laura’s persistence.

Laura bites her lip. “Okay, that's fine.”

She slips back off the bed and leaves the room.

 

Mattie lets out a shaky breath and tries to steady it for a few minutes before she can hear a beep in the distance and the sound of Laura’s footsteps returning.

“Here,” Laura says, entering with her TARDIS mug. “I heated up some blood for you.”

Mattie glares at Laura.  “Microwaved blood?  How plebeian.”

“Okay, sorry, Gordon Ramsay, how about you take a sip before getting all bourgeoisie on me.”

Mattie scoffs.  “I’d never stoop that low.”

“Take it, Matska Belmonde, or you’ll be wearing it!” Laura snaps, all but thrusting the mug at Mattie, who grudgingly takes it.

She takes a sip and her eyes widen.

Laura grins smugly.  “How is it?”

Mattie laughs dryly.  “Not bad, _you_. Not bad.”

“Carmilla taught me how to make it exactly 98.6 degrees and not have that post-microwave taste,” Laura says proudly, sitting back on the bed.

 

Mattie takes another sip as concern and worry flashes across her face.  She quickly allows her usual air of amused apathy to return.  “And how is your throat?” she asks in a disinterested tone.

Laura shrugs.  “I’ll survive.  I’m super sturdy.”

“You know,” Mattie says with a smirk, “once upon a time, you would’ve demanded I be strung up for doing such a thing.”

Laura blushes and massages her throat. “Well, once upon a time, you wouldn’t have let go unless Carmilla said something.”

She hops back off the bed and leaves the room for a few minutes before returning with her own mug, filled with tea.

 

Laura settles back on the bed and sips the tea. “For the record, I never would’ve actually had you strung up for strangling me.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I could’ve and I didn’t.”

Mattie sighs and nods.  “To be fair, I definitely wouldn’t have let you go if Carmilla hadn’t stepped in.”

Laura lets out a laugh but it irritates her throat so she sips more tea.

Mattie’s eyes soften again and she looks down into her mug, taking a deep breath.

 

“It was a nightmare about dying. And being brought back.”

Laura inches closer.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s no big deal,” Mattie insists immediately. “I’ve been having them the past couple years.  I just didn’t have anyone around that could tell me that I was also thrashing around in my sleep.”

Laura places a hand on Mattie’s knee reassuringly. “I’m sorry,” she repeats, more gently and warmly.

Mattie hums nonchalantly and takes another sip. “Well, I’m sorry about your throat.” Her eyes rest on the darkening bruise. “It looks like it hurts.”

“It’s really not a big deal, Mattie,” Laura says sincerely.  She gets off the bed. “Well, I just came in to make sure you were okay.  I’ll let you get back to sleep now.”

“Doubt I’ll be so lucky,” Mattie sighs. She taps her fingers against the mug for a few seconds, contemplating before speaking again. “Since I don’t think I’ll be able to fall back asleep anytime soon…  Does that offer to watch a movie with you still stand?”

Laura beams at her.  “Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Laura isn’t quite sure when it happened, but at some point the movie had ended and she wound up curled up against a sleeping Mattie’s side before she fell asleep on the chaise, as well.

It isn’t until they hear someone clearing their throat that they both wake up confused about the position they are in. Mattie closes her eyes again.

“Gee, Laura, and here I was thinking I was the only vampire you snuggled with,” Carmilla comments dryly, putting down two large boxes.

Laura looks sheepish.  “We weren’t snuggling,” she pouts.

Mattie grins and holds onto Laura, tightening her embrace around the small girl.  “Sorry, Carm, you’ll have to find yourself a new profiterole.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes and practically pries Mattie’s arms off of Laura until the small child can wriggle out. Laura giggles and wraps her arms around Carmilla’s neck in a hug.

“Missed you.”

“Clearly,” Carmilla says flatly, maintaining her scowl until Laura pouts.  She kisses Laura on the cheek and smiles.  “I missed you, too, Hollis.”

Laura squeals and leans back in for another hug, when something catches Carmilla’s eye and she pulls back, holding Laura by the shoulders to get a better look at it.

 

“What happened to your neck?” she asks, her eyes wandering over to Mattie.

Laura gulps and laughs nervously. “Uhm, would you believe I tripped and fell?”

“Laura…”

Laura bites her lip but doesn’t answer.

“ _Laura_ …”

“Oh for the love of _God_ , I did it,” Mattie says, sitting up with a huff.

Carmilla’s mouth drops open.  “Mattie!”

“Not on purpose, you whelp,” she replies, rolling her eyes.  “Your tiny suicidal snickerdoodle came in while I was having a particularly _lovely_ dream and almost got her windpipe crushed trying to wake me up.”

Carmilla’s eyebrows furrow together.

“Remember how we were on the phone last night and we heard a large crash and I told you I’d talk to you tomorrow and not to worry about it?” Laura asks, wringing her hands together.

Carmilla gives a curt nod.

 

“Mattie was having a nightmare so I went to wake her up and it…  It didn’t go too great,” Laura says sheepishly.  “But at least I got her awake?”

Carmilla gives an exasperated sigh.

“I apologized to her, if it’s any consolation,” Mattie states. 

Carmilla gives Mattie a small glare before rolling her eyes.  “Fine. But no more throttling my girlfriend.”

“But she made such funny noises,” Mattie whines playfully.

Laura bunches up her face and huffs as she leaves the room.

 

“So, what’ve you got there, sis?” Mattie asks.

“It’s some kind of special glass for the anglerfish. It got turned into this little pitiful guppy, but one night when Laura was feeding it, it jumped out of its bowl and bit her.  So this is to keep it from doing that again.  Or until we can find some virgin plankton to feed it instead of my girlfriend. The glass is like a one-way mirror or something.”  Carmilla starts unpacking the boxes.  “Laura didn’t tell you?”

“We didn’t really have conversations,” Mattie shrugs. “At least, not until I gave her neck a few squeezes.”

Laura re-enters with two mugs of blood and hands them to the vampires.  “Cut out the sassing,” Laura quips.

“Or what?” Mattie teases, amused.

“Or you won’t get the TARDIS mug,” Laura replies with a grin.

“Oh, my.  I’ve certainly learned my lesson,” Mattie responds sarcastically.

Carmilla scoffs.  “Excuse me.  I leave for one day and come back to not only find myself replaced as Laura’s snuggling vampire, but also as your squabbling sister?”

“Aww, is my little monster jealous?” Mattie smirks, giving her shoulder a lighthearted punch.

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a glare. “No,” she grumbles.

“Carm’s jealous, _Carm’s jealous_ ,” Laura taunts.

 

Carmilla pouts and picks up Bagheera, playfully chucking it at Laura’s head.  Mattie uses her vampire speed and winds up in front of Laura, catching the stuffed animal.

Laura and Carmilla’s eyes widen.

“It would simply be a shame for a plush little thing like this to wind up on the floor dirty,” Mattie explains, fooling no one.

“Uh huh,” Laura says, skepticism dripping from her tone.

“Whatever, Hollis,” Mattie says, placing the stuffed panther on the chaise as she sits down beside it.  “Now, unless my memory is failing me, didn’t you say there was a sequel to that movie we were watching last night?”

Laura nods emphatically.  “Yup!  Two sequels! I’ll go get them ready to watch,” she says, tugging Carmilla to sit next to Mattie.

“Oh, _god_ ,” Mattie sighs.

Carmilla crosses her arms and smirks. “You started it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [riverskys](http://riverskys.tumblr.com/) for the prompt of Mattie watching over Laura while Carmilla is out!  
> If you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I don't bite... much  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> 


	29. Shadows in the Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Carmilla storms off after an argument with Mattie, she returns to find Laura having a nightmare, so they work to cheer each other up. Meanwhile, the Alchemy club is still tinkering with things, which affects Perry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took so long! In the past couple weeks I had five midterms, two presentations, a paper, and four homework assignments (on top of the usual six hours of work and 30 hours of classes and three meetings) so this kinda fell to the side. But it's long and I hope you enjoy it :D #SaveCarmilla!!

Laura frowns down at the game board and scratches her head.  “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know losing without cheating is a new concept to you, Hollis,” LaFontaine says smugly, “but this makes _perfect_ ––”  They cut themselves off and focus down at the board.  “––wait…”

Danny huffs and throws her cards on the floor. “This _doesn’t_ make any sense!”

Laura squints at the board and cocks her head to the side.  “I _think_ you put two rooms and a person but no weapon, LaF.”

They scowl at Laura and cross their arms. “Whatever.  This is a dumb game, anyway.  The movie was better.”

“You’re just saying that because you have a crush on Lesley Ann Warren,” Danny scoffs.

“Is that why you picked to be Miss Scarlet?” Laura asks with a giggle.

“This wouldn’t be happening if Per joined us instead of raking the leaves or whatever she’s doing out there,” LaF grumbles.

“Uhm, yeah, coz she wouldn’t have _not_ picked a weapon card,” Danny teases and Laura snorts.

 

As if on cue, there’s a knock at the door and the trio turn to face it.  Their eyes widen and their mouths drop open.  Laura’s the first to find her voice.  “P-P-Perry?” She lets out a gasp. “ _Perry_?”

A shorter, elderly version of Perry slowly hobbles into the room.  LaF moves the quickest to her side, helping her sit down.

“Oh, you’re such a sweetheart,” Perry says, the lines around her eyes crinkling as she smiles.  “Also, pick up all these clothes off the floor, it looks filthy in here.”

Laura frowns but starts plucking up the articles of clothing.  “What the heck happened?”

“I’m not quite sure _what_ the Alchemy club did, but this is ludicrous,” Perry rasps out. She seems to be in her seventies. “I was raking the leaves by where the Lustig used to be–– is _no one_ _else_ concerned about the state of this campus?–– when _this_ happened to me.”

Danny sighs.  “Gotta hand it to those idiots.  We told them they’re not the ones causing our continued children-ness and they’re _still_ at it.”

 

LaF looks at Perry, worry in their eyes. “How are you feeling?”

Perry clicks her tongue.  “Right now my main concern is that we need to vacuum this room. Except someone else has to do it–– my arthritic back and hands can’t handle this.”  She lets out a large yawn and covers her mouth sheepishly. “Goodness, I apologize. That was terribly unladylike of me.”

LaF runs a hand through their hair. “Alright, Per, it’s getting late so let’s go to bed, okay?”

Perry looks like she’s about to resist at first, but then thinks better of it.  “Fine,” she says, allowing LaF to help her up.  “But I was serious about vacuuming.  Our bedroom is cleaner _even though_ we have Squeakers running around up there.”  LaF grins and Perry narrows her eyes at them.

The two of them start to head out but Perry stops in the doorway.

“Oh, and Laura, I wouldn’t bother staying up for Carmilla.  She and Mattie seemed to be having some sort of argument outside and then Carmilla stormed off.” She waves goodbye and slowly heads up the stairs behind a patient LaFontaine.

Danny tries and fails to stifle a yawn. “Yeah, I’m probably going to go, too, Hollis.  This was fun. Next time, we don’t let LaF pick the cards, yeah?”

Laura giggles and nods, hugging Danny goodbye.

 

She grabs her phone and looks down at it. No missed texts or calls from Carmilla. She sends a message asking, “ _Hey, Carm?  You okay?_ ”

Half an hour passes before Laura starts to feel her eyelids droop, so she heads to bed, placing the phone next to her on the pillow. She lies there for a bit, rolling around. Finally, she climbs back out of the bed, grabs Bagheera, and hugs it as she falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

Carmilla walks into the apartment, still trying to calm herself down.  She loves Mattie–– _God_ , she swears she does–– but that old vampire sure knew which nerves to hit and which buttons to press. But then again, didn’t all siblings?

She pauses by an outlet and plugs her phone in, since it had died shortly after she had stormed away from Mattie, and then walks towards the bedroom.  Carmilla stops short when she hears Laura whimpering as she tosses and turns.  She quickly darts into the room, staring at Laura as she thrashes in her sleep and starts crying out.

“Laura!”

Carmilla rushes to her side and gently tries to shake her.  It doesn’t work so Carmilla carefully shakes her harder with hands on both shoulders.

“Laura, it’s just a dream.  Wake up.  Wake _up, Laura_.”

Laura squirms out of Carmilla’s hold and gasps as her eyes fly open.  She starts hyperventilating and looking around, eyes wide and panicked.  “I–– Where––”  Laura’s breathing is so erratic that Carmilla’s afraid she might pass out.

“Laura, it was just a dream, okay? You need to slow your breathing down, cutie,” Carmilla says, cautiously reaching out and pulling Laura to her.

Laura nuzzles her face against Carmilla and whimpers again.

 

Carmilla wraps her arms around the tiny girl. “Just breathe with me, cupcake.” She slowly does the square-breathing technique Laura showed her back in the museum and after a while, Laura breathing finally resembles something normal.

Laura sniffles and pulls away, letting out a shaky breath.

“Wanna talk about it?” Carmilla asks softly.

Laura shrugs.

“It was just a dream, Laura.”

“No, it wasn’t.  Or, at least, it didn’t feel like one…”  Laura shakes her head and pouts.  “It felt like those dreams I was having, back with the whole Lophii-and-the-Dean thing freshman year.”

Carmilla frowns.  “Maybe keeping Lophii here isn’t the best idea.”

“No, it’s not Lophii,” Laura insists. “It was something else. Something bigger and darker.” Her voice cracks and she sniffles again. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Carmilla watches Laura as she stares down and picks at the edge of the blanket until she’s sure Laura won’t speak again. She stands up from the bed and grabs a few pillows and the blanket off the bed.  “I’ll be right back, okay?”

Laura gives a small nod but still won’t meet Carmilla’s gaze.

 

A few minutes pass and Laura finally decides to speak again.  “Carm?” she calls out.

“Patience is a virtue, sweetheart,” Carmilla calls from the next room.  A few more minutes go by before Carmilla steps back into the room and holds out her hand.

Laura furrows her eyebrows but slides off the bed and grabs Carmilla’s hand.  “What’s going on?”

“See for yourself,” Carmilla says with a small grin, gesturing to a structure she erected in the middle of the room.

 

Laura giggles.  “Carmilla Karnstein, did you just build me a pillow fort?”

“I’m offended,” Carmilla states flatly. “The fact that you would call this beautiful edifice before you a ‘fort’ is just demeaning.”

“Oh, _I’m sorry,_ what would _you_ call it?”

“The Hollstein Castle of Fabric Envelopes With Soft Stuffing And Sheets,” Carmilla answers seriously.

Laura laughs and Carmilla’s grin grows wider.

“Well, come on, creampuff.  Our extravagant abode awaits.”  She gestures for Laura to go first.

Laura takes a moment to truly appreciate The Hollstein Castle.  It’s at least eight feet tall and takes up most of the room.  It’s made of piles of pillows and has blankets strewn over it.

 

Laura squeals and runs in through the ‘entrance,’ and she finds two mugs of hot chocolate inside the structure. Carmilla enters behind her and playfully nudges her.  “Like it?”

“Sometimes,” Laura says as she sits down next to her mug, “it actually grosses me out how sweet you are.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes and glares at her. “Careful, Hollis. I could start taking down The Hollstein Castle piece by piece and hitting you with it.”

Laura giggles and takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “Thank you, Carm.”

Carmilla smiles and sits down across from Laura and takes a sip from her mug, too.

 

A few moments of silence pass by before Laura shifts a bit.  “Perry told me she saw you fighting with Mattie and then storming off…  Do you need to talk about it?”

“Not particularly.”  Carmilla shrugs and sighs.  Her eyes light up with an idea.  “If I tell you about it, will you tell me about your dream?”

Laura bites her lip and nods slowly. “Yeah.  Okay.”

Carmilla drums her fingers on the side of her mug.

 

“I’m not really sure where to start…” Carmilla puts the mug down and lies down, staring up at the roof of The Hollstein Castle.  “Mattie and I were walking and I made a comment that things were better now that things finally settled down on campus…”

She rolls over on her side so she can look at Laura.

“And she said that if she’s being fair, I’m only enjoying the spoils of my girlfriend’s endeavors.”

Laura cocks her head to the side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“She meant that the only reason I was ever freed from my mother was because of you.  You ‘killed’ her in the Lustig pit.  You got Lophii dormant and killed Vordenberg.  You stopped my mother and her Corvae goons and got her out of Perry’s body. If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be under her thumb.”

Laura frowns.  “But you helped me with all that.”

“Yeah, but you’re the main factor here.” Carmilla swallows hard. “Laura, if I never met you, I never would’ve had the strength to ever fully stand up to my mother. But you gave me that strength.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”  Laura gives her a half-hearted smile. “And I still don’t get what you and Mattie fought over.”

“Ah.”  Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Well, her point was that I’m a lovesick lemming that’d follow you to the ends of the Earth… Which is a true sentiment.”

She shoots Laura a wink and Laura giggles.

“But she was trying to say that I’ve never had the strength to make a decision and stand on my own.”

 

“That’s _definitely_ not true.”

Laura puts her mug down and crawls around Carmilla, gently lifting her head and placing it in her lap.

“You made the decision to stand up to your mother even after I told you we were done.  And you broke up with me _all_ on your own,” Laura points out lightly.  “I know a lot of our earlier problems were because it was like I was taking choices away from you by trying to force you to be a hero, just like your mother took choices away from you by trying to force you to be a villain.  But you’re neither.  You’re Carmilla.”

Carmilla smiles up at Laura.

“And you did those things _as_ Carmilla,” Laura continues.  “You’re not enjoying the spoils of my endeavors. You’re enjoying the spoils of _our_ endeavors.”

Carmilla boops Laura on the nose. “You’re amazing, Hollis.”

“Yeah, I know,” Laura replies, beaming.

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “Your turn.”

Laura sighs and nods.

 

“I had this dream I was like, in this tunnel. It _felt_ familiar, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before. But I was walking down it, as if I was looking for something.  And then I stumbled across this opening, and at first I didn’t see anything, but I definitely sensed something else was there.  So I stepped into it and suddenly this _thing_ materialized before me.”

Laura takes a deep breath and Carmilla sits up and wraps one arm around Laura.

“It was like this giant black cloud. And there was booming like thunder, and it sparked like lightning.  I started to turn around and run away but it just engulfed me. Sorta like when you teleport me places.”

Carmilla kisses Laura on the top of her head.

“It was so dark and the noise was so loud, and i-it…” Laura nuzzles her face bit further into Carmilla’s side.  “It felt like I was back in that car with my mom.  The bear growling and the darkness…”

Carmilla hums and rubs Laura’s back reassuringly. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

 

Laura nods quietly.  Carmilla pulls away and kisses Laura on the top of her head.

“I have an idea.  Stay right here.”

Carmilla walks out of the pillow fort and Laura sits patiently.  After a few moments, a flashlight clicks on outside, so Laura can see it through a bed sheet.

Soon, a small figure, clearly made by Carmilla’s hands, appears.

“Carm… Is that supposed to be a cat?” Laura giggles.

“No,” Carmilla replies grumpily. “It’s a big, badass black panther.”

Laura laughs.  “Okay.”

“And it’ll protect you from giant black clouds and bears.”

Laura pops her head around the sheet and grins at Carmilla, who smiles back.  Laura steps out and grabs the flashlight, bringing it into the fort. It lights up the whole internal space and Carmilla enters.

“Like I’m gonna let you have all the fun with shadow puppets,” Laura scoffs.  She makes a dog and makes some yipping sounds.

“You _would_ pick a dog,” Carmilla says, reforming her panther shadow puppet with her hands.

Laura pouts and makes something new.

“What is _that_ supposed to be?”

“A bunny,” Laura says proudly.

She makes it hop after Carmilla’s shadow puppet and cackles when Carmilla pretends her cat is out of breath.

“Time out, time out,” Carmilla says playfully. She makes a new figure and smirks.

“I don’t get it,” Laura frowns.

Carmilla winks.  “A terrifying chicken demon.”

Laura throws her head back in laughter. “You’re _really_ never gonna let me forget that, are you?”

“Never is a long time, cutie.” Carmilla kisses Laura on the cheek. “So yeah, never.”

 

Two small sets of footsteps stomp into the room.

“Aw, this is sweet,” Perry’s raspy voice says outside of the fortress.  “LaFontaine, maybe we should just leave them––”

“No!” LaF shouts, stepping closer. “Carmilla Karnstein, you can take my pillow, you can take my blanket, but you can’t go around taking _Squeaker’s_ blanket!”

Laura pulls away from Carmilla and looks amused. “You took a mouse’s blanket?”

“Uhm, what else would be The Hollstein Castle’s flag?” Carmilla asks indignantly, clicking her tongue.  “Come on, Hollis, use your noggin.”

LaF’s grunts are heard from outside and Carmilla and Laura poke their heads out to see the tiny redhead jumping up and down, trying to reach the makeshift flag Carmilla made with a tiny blanket. “I can’t reach it,” they pout.

Carmilla smirks and shrugs.  “Too bad for you, then.”

LaF nudges Perry.  “Per, give me a lift.”

Perry scowls and glances up at the flag. “Don’t be ridiculous, I think I might throw out my hip if I do that.”

Laura tugs on Carmilla’s shirt and glances up with pleading eyes.

“Fine, but it’s just because I don’t want to take Betty White here to the hospital for fracturing her hip,” Carmilla grumbles, taking down the flag and practically throwing it at LaFontaine, who huffs and leaves with Perry in tow.  “But if a nearby nation decides to start attacking us because they don’t know whose land this is, it’s on you, buttercup.”

 

There’s a knock against the doorframe and Carmilla and Laura glance up to see Mattie lingering in the doorway. Carmilla rolls her eyes and heads back into the pillow fort without a word.

Mattie walks over and starts to walk around Laura, who steps forward and blocks the entrance.

“Uhh, Carm doesn’t want to talk to you right now,” Laura says, trying to keep her voice steady.

Mattie sighs.  “Move.”

“No.”  Laura crosses her arms.  “I’m not letting you in until Carmilla is ready to talk to you.  Which she clearly isn’t right now.”

Mattie stares down at her with a glare intense enough to melt her in her spot.  “ _Move_.”

“ _No._ ”

“Move out of the way before I tear off one of your limbs and clobber you with it until you’re unconscious.  And then I’ll wait for you to wake up and do it with each limb until you’re nothing but a bloody stump.”

Laura furrows her brows together. “Wouldn’t you just be able to go in here once I fall unconscious the first time?”

Mattie takes a threatening step closer but Laura stands her ground.  “Fine, then I’ll just turn you into a bloody stump in one fell swoop, you infuriating potato.”

 

There’s some rustling behind Laura and Carmilla gently slides by.  “It’s fine, Laura. I’ll talk to Mattie.”

“Are ya sure?”  Laura narrows her eyes up at Mattie.  “Coz I can _so_ take her.”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Yes, I’m sure.  Now go back in there and finish your hot chocolate.”

“Can you make me more, please? With milk this time, not hot water?” Laura asks sweetly.

“Fine.”

“And mini marshmallows?”

Carmilla sighs.  “You’re really milking this, aren’t you, cupcake?”

“But I thought you just said I could have milk?”

Carmilla lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Right, okay, back in I go,” Laura rushes out.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and gestures at Mattie for them to go speak in the hallway.

 

Once they get there, Carmilla crosses her arms and leans against the wall.

Mattie throws her hands up and groans. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier, okay?”  She looks like the apology physically pains her.  “It’s just, for years, you were under mother’s thumb.  Yes, you had your small rebellions, but you still did what she asked without questions.  And you never went against her–– except for with that foolish girl that landed you in the coffin–– and were always her _glittering diamond_.”

“This is starting to feel like Personal Attack 2.0 and not like an apology,” Carmilla comments dryly.

Mattie takes a deep breath.  “But all that changed with Laura.  She changed you.  Well, perhaps she just brought whatever was always deep down inside you to the surface, so it wasn’t so much changing as it was _inspiring_ you.  And it’s still extremely difficult sometimes for me to reconcile the force I see before me with the baby vampire I’d known before.  You’re stronger than I give you credit for, now more than ever.”

Carmilla drops her arms to the side and nods. “Thanks, Mattie.”

“So are we good, my little monster?”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Yes.”

Mattie grins and pulls Carmilla in for a short hug. Carmilla tries not to react as she spots LaFontaine tiptoe down the stairs behind Mattie and head in to where the pillow fort is so as not to ruin the moment with Mattie.

 

“You know she loves you, right?” Mattie asks softly.

Carmilla nods.

“I mean, _really_ loves you.  She’d do as much for you as you would do for her.”

“I know.”

 

There’s a loud commotion in the next room as LaFontaine cries out a distraught, “ _Oh no!_ ”

Carmilla’s eyes widen and she rushes in, only to see her entire pillow fort has collapsed to the ground.  “What the feathery hell is this?”

“I was trying to get Per her pillow back,” LaF explains.  “Laura’s still in there!”

Carmilla lets out a growl as she starts tossing pillows aside, but has no idea where she is under all this mess. “Laura?  _Laura_!”

“ _Over here,_ ” Laura answers, muffled.  Carmilla pinpoints where the voice is coming from and digs Laura out.

 

Perry walks down the stairs slowly, ignoring the confused look from Mattie.

“Oh, my,” she says disapprovingly. “This was such a child safety hazard, Carmilla.  You should know better. And now there’ll be lint everywhere to vacuum up.”

Carmilla looks at her, bewildered. “Beat it, Bea Arthur.”

Perry shrugs and leaves, with LaFontaine toddling behind her.

 

Carmilla turns her attention back to the disheveled child before her.

Laura grins as she raises two mugs. “I saved the hot chocolate!”

Carmilla sucks her teeth.  “My hero,” she states flatly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [this](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/post/129822378847/hello-friend-are-you-still-taking-prompts-for-the) anon for the idea that the Alchemy club turns Perry into a little old lady! I feel like there was also an anon that asked for the shadow puppets, but I can't find the link to that right now haha.  
> There's also some inspirations from [this](https://twitter.com/Elise3aum/status/654157896931016704) and [this](https://twitter.com/alydenisof/status/622244490477088768)  
> Welp, we are nearing the end of this whole storyline but I do have a surprise after the 31st chapter is posted. In the meantime, please feel free to give me more prompts! I'll be doing something with them ;)  
> And, as always, feel free to hit me up on [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) or in the comments.  
> Stay awesome!


	30. No One Messes With My Cupcake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Laura has to call on Mattie to help look after Carmilla, she realizes she has to set some things straight with her vampire. And then a certain mouse goes missing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had absolutely no idea what to do with Carmilla in this chapter and I think it becomes hilariously obvious that this was the case LOL  
> Enjoy and stay awesome <3

Mattie frowns down at her phone. There’s a bunch of missed calls from Laura and Carmilla from the oh-so-wonderful reception in the new offices around campus.  She decides it’ll just be easier to teleport straight into the apartment, which is what she does.

And boy, does she regret it.

Furniture is covered in what appears to be vomit and drool and there’s frantic sounds coming from the next room.

“Carm?” Mattie calls out hesitantly. There’s an initial urge to turn tail and leave, but she did decide to stick around and see this odd childcare thing through with Carmilla.  “Carmilla?”

She steps forward and finds Laura sitting at her desk, holding her head.

“What’s happening?” Mattie asks.

Laura wordlessly gestures to the floor, and Mattie glances down to see a baby, around the same age as when she saw Laura had regressed over the video call.

“Who’s this?”

 

Laura groans.  “It’s Carmilla.”  She rises from her chair and sits down next to the baby, who has a recognizable pale complexion and dark eyes.

Carmilla sits and watches as Laura settles in next to her, then flops over so her head is in Laura’s lap.  She looks up and spots Mattie, and gives her a toothless grin, gurgling happily.

Mattie’s mouth has dropped open. “Wh-What?”

Laura sighs and pats Carmilla’s stomach lightly. “After my nightmare the other night _your sister_ decided to go hunting through the tunnels around campus and under these floorboards and happened to wander where the Alchemy club was venting out the fumes of its failed experiment that turned me into a baby.”

Carmilla nuzzles her face against Laura’s arm.

“I got a call from them saying they found a baby surrounded by leather pants and now here we are.”

“How long will she be like this?” Mattie asks.

“Probably not that long.  I was only stuck as a baby for a couple days or so, and it’s almost been the same amount of time for her.”

 

Carmilla opens her mouth wide and clamps down on Laura’s forearm.  Laura lets out a yelp. “Carm, stop gumming at me,” Laura whines.  She carefully shakes Carmilla loose.

Carmilla grins up at Laura.

“Holy cookies, you had that smirk even as a baby,” Laura comments.

Mattie kneels down beside them and gently pinches Carmilla’s chubby cheeks.  “Who’s a good little monster?” she coos.

Carmilla grabs Mattie’s fingers in her hands and pouts, trying to pry them off.

“Who’s a _good_ _little monster_?” she continues.

Laura giggles and stands, trying to fix the furniture. “Carm’s such a handful. She kept crawling around and I bumped into everything trying to keep her from hurting herself.”

“According to her, you were just as much a handful,” Mattie remarks, tickling Carmilla’s stomach and smiling when the baby erupts in laughter.

“Yeah,” Laura admits sheepishly, “but she wasn’t chasing after me stuck in a tiny body.”

“Please, as if your adult body is much larger.”

Laura narrows her eyes in a playful glare.

 

Carmilla rolls over and crawls towards Laura, wrapping her arms around her ankle.  “Cupcky,” she babbles.

Laura laughs and kneels down, scooping Carmilla up and placing her in her lap.  “Are you still calling me ‘cupcake?’”

Carmilla nods.  “Cup-cky,” she states as-a-matter-of-factly.

Laura giggles and bounces Carmilla up and down in her lap.

 

Mattie tries and fails to hide a smile. “Not that I’m not enjoying this… But why did you and Carm call me?”

Carmilla grabs one of Laura’s arms and pops it into her mouth again.  Laura frowns at the drooling baby but doesn’t bother withdrawing her arm this time. “Uhh, well when you didn't pick up my calls, I used Carm's phone. And with everything on campus coming to a head, I didn’t want Carm’s first line of defense to be… Well, _me_.”  Carmilla detaches herself from Laura’s arm and frowns up at her.

Mattie throws her head back in a laugh. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’ve seen you hold your own, firsthand.”

Carmilla lets out a squealing laugh and claps her hands.

“And it seems like Carm agrees.”

 

Laura smiles and kisses the top of Carmilla’s head. “Are you hungry again, Carm?”

Mattie smirks as she looks around the room again. “Is _that_ what all this mess is?”

Laura laughs.  “Well, you know how we have her always drinking blood through a straw because she’s so messy when she feeds?  Turns out, baby Carm isn’t much better.”

Mattie cackles and playfully nudges Carmilla. “You little mess, you.”

Carmilla pouts and furrows her little eyebrows together, babbling something grumpily.

“Oh, hon, you just look even more cute like that. It’s making me want to antagonize you more,” Mattie teases.

Carmilla lets out an actual huff, climbs off Laura’s lap, and crawls out of the room.

Laura and Mattie contain themselves until they’ve heard her make it to the bedroom before bursting out in laughter.

 

“Her _little eyebrows_ coming together like that!” Laura gasps out.

Mattie has to lean her head against her arm resting on a chair and is unable to speak for several seconds. “Th-that little pout, oh _god_!”

The laughter fit continues for another minute before they start to compose themselves.

Laura wipes some tears from her eyes before clearing her throat and giving a few more residual chuckles.  “I’m gonna go check on her.”

Mattie gives a nod as Laura walks over to the bedroom. Carmilla is sitting by Bagheera and stroking its ‘fur.’  She sees Laura coming and turns around so her back is facing her.

“Geez, I never thought I’d see a brooding baby,” Laura says lightly, sitting down near her but giving her space.

Carmilla continues stroking the stuffed panther and ignores Laura.

“Carm,” Laura tries gently.  “What’s the matter?”

The baby side-eyes Laura before turning her attention back to Baggy.

Laura sighs.  “Carm… Are you actually jealous of me and Mattie getting closer?”

 

Carmilla stops her focus on Bagheera’s fur and drops her hands to her side.

Laura lets out a snort and Carmilla looks ready to cry, so she quickly speaks.  “Carm, I thought you would’ve wanted Mattie and I to get along and not try to kill each other.”

Baby Carmilla suddenly leans forward and presses her face against Baggy, letting out an annoyed whine.

Laura laughs.  “Silly-head, are you embarrassed about something?” She gently pokes her. “What is it?”

Carmilla doesn’t move.

Laura sits back and thinks for a bit. Then, it occurs to her… “Carm, you know you’re my number one, right?”

Carmilla pulls back and looks at her, the pout returning.

“Hey,” Laura says quietly, shifting a bit closer. “You _are_. Just because Mattie and I have some of rapport doesn’t mean I’m gonna like, replace you with her. You’re my Carm.”

Carmilla places her hands on Laura’s lap and pats it. Laura smiles, picks her up, and puts her in her lap.

“And I love you,” she says sweetly, before her lips curl up in a grin.  “Why else would I try to make nice with a 1200 year old vampire with a propensity for murder?”

Carmilla glances up at Laura and narrows her tiny eyes in her characteristic glare.  It takes all of Laura’s willpower not to burst out laughing again.

 

“Come on,” Laura says turning Carmilla and holding her up so their eyes meet.  “Gimme a smile.”

Baby Carmilla stubbornly deepens her scowl.

Laura crosses her eyes and sticks her tongue out.

The scowl slowly fades as Laura continues crossing her eyes. “Gimme a smile or they’ll get stuck like this,” Laura teases.

Carmilla finally allows the smile fighting its way onto her face to make it and she gives Laura a gummy grin before giggling.

“There’s my girl,” Laura says, un-crossing her eyes and kissing Carmlla on the nose.

 

There’s a knock on the doorframe and they look over to see LaFontaine.

“Uh, hey, Laur,” LaF says with a wave. “Hello, cute, tiny squishy version of Carmilla.”

Carmilla frowns again and lunges forward in Laura’s arms.

“Whoa, whoa, _down_ , Carm,” Laura says with a chuckle.  Carmilla huffs and stares down LaFontaine from her spot a couple feet off the floor.  “What’s up, LaF?”

They wring their hands nervously. “So, I seem to have sorta, kinda… lost Squeakers…”

“Oh no!”  Laura gently puts Carmilla down on the floor.  “How?”

“Perry is still feeling the residual effects of being turned old, so she asked me to clean out the cage,” LaF says, sitting down on the bed with a sigh.  “I told Squeakers to stay put, but then when I turned around–– just for a second–– she disappeared.”

Laura sits down beside them and gives them a side hug. “We’ll find Squeakers, we’ll find Squeakers,” she says reassuringly.

“We gotta, and before Perry realizes she’s missing!” They sigh.  “I already checked our room and Mattie says she hasn’t seen anything on this floor.”

Laura stands up, determination coursing through her small body.  “You check the kitchen. I’ll check the basement. And we’ll also re-check this floor.”

“Cupcky.”  Carmilla then babbles on the floor and furrows her eyebrows together in worry.

“I’ll be fine, Carm,” Laura says. “Just stay here with Mattie.”

 

She quickly updates Mattie and leaves Carmilla in her charge before heading downstairs.

After about two hours of rooting around in the basement, she sits down on the couch with a sigh.  “Stupid mouse,” she grumbles, tired.  She stands up again and searches through a pile of boxes, vaguely disgusted to find a bunch of what are presumably the Dean’s old clothes and journals.

“Yuck,” Laura groans, trying to lift the top box to see what’s underneath.  Unfortunately, the entire pile slips out and falls over, crashing against the couch with enough force to move it.

And that’s when she sees it.

 _A hole in the wall_.

It’s small–– small enough to be hidden by the couch. For a moment, Laura wonders how Perry never saw it when she was vacuuming down here, but then she realizes Perry didn’t have the need to distract herself by vacuuming the basement until recently… when she was too small to move this couch on her own.

 

Laura manages to move the couch the rest of the way, slipping through behind it and into the hole.  She looks back and the couch definitely has enough space below it for Squeakers to have gone under and through this hole.

She takes a deep breath, pulls out her phone to use as a flashlight, and continues into the tunnel.

It isn’t until a few minutes of walking that she gets hit with a sudden sense of déjà vu.

 

The tunnel _feels_ familiar, but she doesn’t think she’s ever seen it before. She continues walking down it anyway, eyes searching for Squeakers.

Laura eventually spots the small rodent, and catches up to her before scooping her up.  Squeakers doesn’t seem too bothered by the contact, until Laura turns around and starts to head back.  Then, the small mouse begins squeaking and squirming, twisting in Laura’s hand. Laura turns back around and Squeakers calms down.

“Okay, Squeakers.  Lead the way,” Laura says with a sigh.

It’s not long before she stumbles across an opening. At first she doesn’t see anything, but she definitely has the sense _something_ else is there.

She sighs and steps into it and suddenly this giant black cloud materializes before her.

Then it hits her.  _Just like in my dream._

Laura stares into what seems like an abyss, trying to get the courage to _run, run already_ , but fear keeps her firmly in place.  Squeakers seems just as frozen.

Before Laura can muster any kind of nerve, there’s a loud booming like thunder, and the cloud sparks like lightning.

Laura finally yelps and starts to turn around and run away, but she can already feel that it’s too late.

She looks around, surrounded in darkness. She clamps her eyes shut and feels her head spin.

 

“Laura.  _Laura_.”

Laura opens her eyes and sees Carmilla, back to her adult form, before her.  They've teleported upstairs, in the bedroom.

“Carm?”

“Are you okay?” Carmilla asks, her eyes wide with worry.

Laura shakes her head and lets out a whimper before thrusting herself into Carmilla’s arms.

“Hey… you’re fine, you’re fine,” Carmilla says soothingly, kissing the top of her head.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Laura sniffles.

Carmilla chuckles.  “I dunno, if baby-me crawled down there and found you like that, I totally would’ve thrown a pacifier at it to distract it and babbled at you to escape.”

Laura gives her a watery laugh.

“No one messes with my cupcake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [afl0resc](http://archiveofourown.org/users/afl0resc/pseuds/afl0resc) for the idea of having Carmilla as a baby!  
> One more chapter for this whole storyline but as I mentioned, I do have a surprise after the next chapter is posted. In the meantime, if you've got more prompts, lemme know coz I'll be doing something with them ;)  
> And, as always, feel free to hit me up on [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) or in the comments!


	31. Every Part of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and the gang find out what's been causing them to remain children all this time, and come up with a solution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically everything this fic's storyline has been leading up to, but I tried to throw as much fluff into it as I could. Enjoy!!

“But what did it _look_ like?” Danny huffs.

“I don’t know how else to say it!” Laura throws her hands into the air. “Like a big black cloud!”

“But like, what kind of cloud?”

“Like a _cloudy_ cloud!”

Carmilla pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

“That doesn’t _help_ , Hollis,” Danny groans.

Laura crosses her arms and sits down, frustrated. “Look, it took up the whole open area down there, and it made sounds like thunder and there was like, lightning––”

“Like a thundercloud?” LaF offers.

Laura nods.  “But it was like it knew I was a person.  Or something.”

 

Danny turns to the large whiteboard behind them. She uncaps a marker and scribbles, “Sentient Thundercloud,” before turning back to face Laura.

“Well, that explains why we’ve been stuck like children for this long,” LaF comments.

Everyone turns to look at them.

“How does that explain it?” Danny asks.

LaF runs a hand through their hair. “Well, the particles that were released into the air by the Chemical Society and the Alchemy Club should’ve dissipated months ago.  But I’m thinking that whatever this cloud thing is, the electricity it was releasing into our atmosphere charged the particles and that’s what’s been causing the effects to last this long.  It’s been doing it consistently for months.”

“Wait, so you think that whatever this thing is, if we get rid of it, we’ll stop being kids?” Laura’s eyes widen.

LaFontaine nods slowly.

Laura uncaps her marker and writes this down on the whiteboard.

 

“Oh, my,” Perry says from her spot at the desk as she pores through books.  “I think I might’ve found it!”

Laura rushes over and peers over her shoulder. “Cumulonimbus tonitrui,” she reads out carefully.  “It’s some kind of deity your mother wrote about in a journal,” Laura continues, looking at Carmilla.

“I’ve never heard of it,” Carmilla replies, looking over at Mattie, who shakes her head and shrugs.

“It’s a pretty short entry.  Something about a prophecy that she can’t ever see coming true and then how keeping it dormant is pretty easy as long as no one summons it.”

“So someone summoned it?” Mattie grumbles, crossing her arms.

LaF walks over and glances down at the entry. “Not… on purpose…” they say with a scoff.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Perry asks.

“I’m not sure what the odds are of this happening, but the ritual your mother uses to describe summoning it… That’s the mixture that the Alchemy Club and the Chemical Society accidentally released that got us into this mess in the first place.”

 

Laura bites her lip and walks over to Carmilla, tugging on the hem of her shirt and raises her arms up.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and lifts Laura up.

Mattie quirks an eyebrow.  “Is standing on your own too beneath you?”

Laura shakes her head.  “Danny and I took up the entire bottom of the whiteboard and I can’t reach the top on my own.”

“You’re just a tiny ball of uselessness, aren’t you?” Mattie retorts.

Laura grins but doesn’t reply as she starts writing on the whiteboard.  Carmilla stands there holding her with a long-suffering look.

 

After a few moments, she turns and nods at Carmilla, who puts her back down.

“Thanks, Carm.”

She points up at a flow chart she’s drawn at the top of the whiteboard.

“Okay, so…  The Alchemy Club and the Chemical Society both do experiments at the same time and happen to accidentally simultaneously turn us all into children, and summon this thundercloud god.  The god starts to rise and releases electricity into the air, keeping us children. So my questions are–– why hasn’t it done anything yet?  And can we assume that the Chemical Society and the Alchemy Club have a good enough understanding by now of the particles they released into the air?”

“I can’t answer the first question,” LaF replies, “but yes they seem to have grasped the science behind everything pretty well.”

Laura sits down on the chair, her thinking face in full effect as her tongue peeks out of her mouth.

 

Mattie walks over to Carmilla and nudges her. “She’s gotten better at this whole investigative shtick.”

Carmilla grins proudly.  “Yup.  Took a couple tries, but she’s great at it.”

“Only took both of us dying,” Mattie remarks dryly.

This seems to give Laura an idea as she gives Mattie a playful glare before speaking.  “Past transgressions aside…”

She stands up and walks over to the fish tank on the other side of the room.  She opens the lid and, before anyone can stop her, sticks her hand into it.

Carmilla rushes over, yanking Laura’s arm out. “Are you insane? I _just_ said you’ve gotten better at this whole thing, and then you go and try to make yourself fish food?”

Laura pouts and pulls her arm away from Carmilla. “I’m testing out a theory.”

“A suicidal theory?” Danny scoffs.

“Trust me?”  Laura looks up at Carmilla with pleading but determined eyes.

Carmilla hesitates for a second before nodding and stepping back.  Laura sticks her hand back into the water.

 

Carmilla watches as Lophiiformes swims towards Laura’s hand and circles it a few times.  It finally comes right up against Laura’s hand and bites on her finger. Laura lets out a wince and Carmilla takes a step forward but Laura shakes her head.  This time, instead of shaking Lophii loose, Laura allows it to stay latched on.

She sucks in a deep breath and her eyes roll to the back of her head.  Carmilla fights the urge to grab Laura and pull her away from the fish tank again.

“ ** _It wishes to rise,_** ” Laura says in an ethereal voice. “ ** _Rise and take over all of existence. But it needs to feed._** ”

“Feed on what?” Mattie asks.  Her voice is its usual apathetic tone, but Carmilla can see the worry in her eyes.

“ ** _Feed on the souls of children,_** ” Lophii-Laura continues.

“But it’s had plenty of children around for months,” Danny asserts.  “Why hasn’t it fed on any of us?”

“ ** _The timing was not right.  The prophecy states that one of the undead and another deity must be in its presence one fortnight before it can arise._** ”

Perry’s eyes widen.  “When we brought Lophii here… it fulfilled the prophecy…”

“ ** _I tried to warn you fools earlier, but this child did not allow me enough time to pass the message through._** ”

“Okay, so when did we bring Lophii here?” LaF asks.

“Twelve days ago,” Carmilla sighs. “We have two days before it rises.”

“ ** _Make those two days count,_** ” Lophii-Laura says.

 

Laura’s eyes roll back and she pulls her hand out of the tank slowly.  She quickly slumps forward as her knees give out and Carmilla catches her with ease. “Whoa, whoa, cupcake,” she says softly.

“Carm?” Laura groans.  “Did it work?  Did Lophii talk to you guys?” she asks weakly.

Carmilla nods.  “Yep, we got all sorts of information, cutie.”  She shifts so that she’s cradling Laura in her arms and Laura lets out a small hum.  “You did a great job.”

“Thanks,” Laura says, letting out a yawn. “Tired…”

Carmilla chuckles and carries her to the bedroom, tucking her in.  The others follow them out of concern for Laura.

 

“Wait!” Laura suddenly sits bolt upright, actually making Carmilla jump.

“Whoa, take it easy,” Carmilla says gently.

“Th-the particles––” Laura stammers out, her words slurring a bit.

“What about them?” LaF asks, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re affected by the thundercloud god,” Laura says, trying hard to keep her eyelids open. 

Carmilla rests a hand on her back to help keep her upright.

“What if it works the other way around, too? What if we can affect the thundercloud god with the particles?”

There’s a few moments of everyone staring at Laura, not understanding what she’s getting at.

Then LaF’s eyes light up and they grin. “Hollis, you’re a genius!”

 

“I don’t get it,” Perry whispers to Danny, who shrugs.

“Right, well…” Carmilla looks at Laura with worry and gently lies her down.  “Even geniuses who have been fed on by an anglerfish god–– no matter how small–– need their rest. Go to sleep, cutie.”

Laura nods and within seconds, starts snoring softly.

 

Carmilla ushers the others outside before looking down at LaFontaine.  “I’m inclined to agree with you, but _why_ is Laura a genius?”

LaF grins up at the vampire.  “Just you wait and see.”

  

* * *

 

 

Laura groans and sits up slowly, stretching and yawning.  There’s an ache throughout her body stemming from where Lophii bit her on her hand. She starts to get out of bed, but she’s underestimated how drained she is and collapses onto the floor.

Carmilla is in the room in an instant, standing by and unsure if she should help Laura up or give her space.

“Ar-Are you okay?” Carmilla asks.

Laura sighs and just lies down fully on the floor. “More tired than I thought I was.”

Carmilla frowns.  “Do you want me to put you back on the bed?”

“Yes, please.”  Laura looks at Carmilla with puppy eyes and pouts.

Carmilla smiles at her and carefully picks her up, placing her back in her previous position.  “Better?”

Laura nods and Carmilla sits down on the bed, leaning back against the wall.

 

Laura slowly maneuvers herself so her head can lie on Carmilla’s lap.

“Well, LaF got what you were trying to say before you passed out,” Carmilla says, gently running her hand through Laura’s hair. “The Alchemy Club and Chemical society have created some kind of vapor that should affect the thundercloud god and shrink it.”

“Good.  Because I don’t want us to have to kill it,” Laura says.

Carmilla cocks her head to the side with a smile, making Laura giggle.

“What?”

Carmilla smirks and shakes her head. “This thing wants to take over the world and probably would've killed you the other day, but you still can't bring yourself to kill it?”

Laura grins sheepishly.

“I love you, Laura Hollis.”

Laura beams at Carmilla and crawls over for a hug. “I love you, too, Carmilla Karnstein.”

 

“Ugh, I'm going to need dental insurance if I stay here much longer,” a voice says from the doorway. “You two are giving me cavities.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and scoffs as she lets go of Laura.

“Hello, Mattie,” Laura greets warmly.

A warm smile flashes quickly across Mattie’s face before her smug grin returns. “And how's our walking pile of fish food doing?”

Laura glares playfully at her. “Like a regular Bambi on ice.”

Mattie clicks her tongue. “Did you dent the wood when you fell?”

“Your concern is touching,” Laura replies.

“Oh, but I am concerned. This is the original hardwood floor from when the building was built,” Mattie deadpans.

 

“Did you have a reason for coming in here or was it just to tease my girlfriend?” Carmilla snaps.

“Oh, Carm,” Mattie cackles and waves her hand dismissively.

She produces a small mason jar from behind her back and holds it up.

“One thundercloud god, with free shipping and handling,” she says, walking over to Carmilla and handing it to her.

 

Laura all but presses her face against the jar.

“Careful, cutie, not sure you should get this close to it.”

LaFontaine, Perry, Danny, and Kirsch walk into the room behind Mattie.

“Nah, it should be fine,” LaF insists. “I coated the mason jar with an insulant so it should be safe for handling.”

Laura looks at Danny and Kirsch. “How did you guys get it in there?”

Danny walks over and points inside the jar. “Do you see that twig in there?”

Laura nods.

“After the Alchemy Club released its particles to shrink it, we lured it into the jar with that. It kept trying to strike at it with electricity.”

“Except it has less voltage than your standard flashlight battery now,” Perry points out.

 

Laura giggles. “It's so cute. It looks like a tiny burnt marshmallow.”

Kirsch makes a sound like he has an idea.

“Don't even think about eating it!” Danny yells before he can articulate it.

“Aw, man,” Kirsch says dejectedly. “Thought I would take one for the team.”

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes and looks down at Laura. “So, you don't want to kill it. What should we do with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Cloud, cupcake?”

Laura grins. “We could keep it around the apartment?”

“You can’t be serious,” Carmilla groans. “It’s like we’re collecting the world’s saddest gallery of penny dreadfuls.”

Laura giggles.

“We’ve got a sad guppy that uses translation software by the way of mastication and a burnt marshmallow with an affinity for shocking twigs,” Carmilla continues.

“Well, assuming that now that the thundercloud god is contained, we should all eventually return to our regular bodies, Lophii included,” LaF points out.

“We’ll be returning her to her place in the pit soon, yeah?” Perry asks.

Kirsch grabs one end of the tank. “On it!”  He gestures at Danny.  “Come on, D-bear!”

Danny grabs the other end and they both grunt. “It’s too heavy,” Danny frets.

Mattie lets out an exasperated sigh. “Oh, for the love of Hera,” she mutters, grabbing the middle of the tank and lifting it with ease. She marches out with it and the others follow her out, telling her to be careful with the tank. To Mattie’s credit, she snaps at them but doesn’t seem intent on following through with any of her threats of bodily harm.

 

“They’re lucky you grew on Mattie and she won’t go on a killing spree on all your friends just for you, poptart,” Carmilla remarks.

Laura snuggles up against Carmilla. “I didn’t realize I had _so_ much power,” she teases.

“Yeah, you’re a regular vampire whisperer,” Carmilla says dryly.

“Well… this vampire whisperer is sorry.”

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together in confusion. “What did you do _now_?”

“I didn’t _do_ anything,” Laura frowns.  “I just meant I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with months of childcare.”

Carmilla laughs and Laura looks at her, puzzled, so Carmilla looks at her seriously.

“Laura, I got to see a part of you I never thought I’d see.  During your freshman year, I got to fall in love with you in your present… And since then I’ve known I’d love you in our future.”

She swallows hard.

“I just never imagined I would’ve been able to see you in the past.  Granted, your mind and soul weren’t that of a child’s, but you’ve just been so… So stripped away and vulnerable… So open and loving and carefree… And I found myself in love with that part of you, too.”

Laura gives Carmilla a small smile.

“It just confirmed what I’ve always thought,” Carmilla says with a shrug.

“What’s that?” Laura asks.

Carmilla grins.  “That, Laura Hollis…” She kisses Laura on the cheek.  “I am totally in love with every single part of you.”

Laura tackles Carmilla into lying down and giggles. “I love every part of you, too, Carm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read on, gentle viewers ;)


	32. Epilogue?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!!

Laura trips over the table leg, falling to the ground with a thud and taking down a pile of books down with her.

Carmilla pokes her head into the room and looks down at her.  “You okay, cutie?”

Laura laughs and pushes herself up. “Still getting used to my adult-sized limbs.”

“I don’t see much of a difference,” Carmilla grins.

Laura narrows her eyes at her and laughs mockingly. “Oh, ha _ha_. You’ve only got, like, an inch on me, Carm.” Laura bends down and starts picking up the books she knocked over.

“Yeah, but that’s a _whole_ inch,” Carmilla teases.

 

Laura chuckles and starts putting the books back, when the top one catches her eye.  It’s in Carmilla’s beautiful cursive, and it reads “ _Childcare._ ”

“What’s this?” Laura asks, flipping it open.

Carmilla tries to snatch it from her, but Laura whirls away, trying to focus on the pages in front of her.

“Give it back to me, cupcake,” Carmilla growls.

“ _Thought I lost the cupcake today,_ ” Laura reads out, laughing as Carmilla tries and fails to grab the book from her hand again.  “ _Turns out she just went to the park with her insufferable band of idiots._ ”

“Give it _back_.” Carmilla’s voice has lost all edge to it, as if she’s saying it just to save what little shred of dignity she has left–– not that there is any.

Laura flips a few pages.  “ _Laura and I shared an ice cream cone today.  Every time I think we ran out of firsts, she goes and does something like panic over a melting cone and I’m reminded that no matter how fleeting mortal lives are, there’s always more to discover._ ”

 

Carmilla sits back, trying to keep her face from blushing.

More page flipping.  “ _My cute idiot girlfriend thought she upset me and then wanted to make it up to me by drawing a cartoon of us together.  And this comes after she managed to keep me from having a full-blown anxiety attack at the museum. I don’t know what I’d ever do without her..._ ”

“… _Laura took care of me while sick, even to the point of it being detrimental to her own health. I don’t think it would ever be possible for me to forget how lucky I am to have found her…_ ”

“… _One day, the cupcake and I will have a home, with pets, and happiness, and love. I’ll make sure of it._ ”

 

Laura finally looks up at Carmilla. “You kept a journal of all the stuff that happened when we got stuck as kids?”

“Yeah,” she says with a sheepish nod.

Laura looks like she’s about to melt in her seat.

“It’s not a big deal,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura flips through the rest of the book quickly. “Wow, you really went in-depth.”

Carmilla shrugs.  “I didn’t want to forget any of it,” she says, aiming and failing to be nonchalant.

“There’s stuff in here I don’t even remember too well,” Laura says.  “It’s like I was too busy focusing on the mystery behind it all sometimes.”

Carmilla nudges her.  “Well, that’s what I’m here for.  To give you the rest of the story you may have missed the first time around.”

Laura grins and taps on the page. “Let’s see what adventures I forgot to include.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes but smiles. “Fine, fine.  Guess it’s not the end of this story for you, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I _might_ have broken the fourth wall a bit, here. But what Carmilla said is the truth! I made the decision a few weeks ago that since this fic has been so much fun for me to write, and I've absolutely LOVED interacting with all of you, I'd surprise you all by leaving this an open fic. In other words, subsequent chapters are technically entries Laura's finding in Carmilla's journal :P  
>  **That means, if you ever come up with a random prompt, leave it in a comment, or hit me up on[tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) and I'll work on it.**  
>  In the meanwhile, I want to thank ALL of you for this wonderful journey of allowing me to write a shamelessly fluffy fic. Thanks for all the smiles and laughs <3  
> And, as always, stay awesome.


	33. You've Gotta Be Kitten Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla accidentally gets turned into a kitten during one of her nighttime strolls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna say this chapter occurs somewhere between chapters [19](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/chapters/10823474) and [25](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/chapters/11191306).  
> I think this technically fulfilled like, two prompts from [Nyaaaaaaah](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyaaaaaaah/pseuds/Nyaaaaaaah), but it was primarily meant for my little brother [ccc7ccc](http://ccc7ccc.tumblr.com/), who's been such an amazing sounding board and muse for a large part of this fic. He gave me the idea for this chapter and helped with some of the little bits throughout it.  
> Happy Thanksgiving to all of those celebrating, too!!

Laura scrolls through her tumblr dashboard when there’s a knock on the doorframe.  She glances up and smiles.  “Good morning, Perry.”

The small redhead walks into the room and sits on the chaise.  “Good morning, Laura. I was thinking about baking some cookies today.”

Laura’s smile widens.  “Sounds great.  Do you need some––”

She’s interrupted by a soft mewing and the sounds of paws padding around on the floor.

Perry raises an eyebrow.  “What is that?”

“Uhm…”  Laura bites her lip.  “Th-that’s…”

 

The footsteps get closer and a tiny black kitten saunters in, stopping to stare at Perry.  Then it continues to walk over to Laura and bumps her on the leg with its forehead.

Laura giggles and lifts it and places it in her lap. “It’s Carm!”

The kitten mews again and licks her paw, rubbing her own ear before nuzzling into Laura’s stomach.

“Wh-What happened?” Perry asks.

Laura frowns.  “Well, Carm was out on one of her night strolls around campus as a cat, and the Alchemy Club was doing–– uhh, something?–– And she just kinda got caught up in it, and I guess her cat form is more susceptible than her normal vampire form.”

The kitten actually glares up at Laura and lets out a disgruntled sound.

“Uhm, not that her cat form _isn’t_ normal,” Laura clarifies.

Seemingly satisfied, the kitten curls up into a ball.

 

Perry smiles at the tiny furry ball. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I did!” Laura insists.  “Well, I told LaF.  I thought they would’ve passed on the information after I saw them this morning.”

Before Perry can reply, footsteps come charging into the room.

The small kitten in Laura’s lap immediately springs into action, leaping onto the floor in front of her and taking a protective stance.

LaF runs in and stops short when she sees the petite feline trying and failing to hiss at her.  Instead, all that’s coming out of its mouth is a quiet hacking sound.

 

“Uhh, what’s Furball doing over here?” LaF asks, amused.  They put down a paper bag on the floor.

“I… think she’s trying to protect me,” Laura giggles, scooping Carmilla off the ground.  “Is that what you’re trying to do, Carm?”

The kitten appears to nod before it lets out another soft wheezing hiss in Laura’s face.  Laura starts giggling but then her eyes widen and she quickly spins Carmilla away from her as she releases a hairball.

Right onto Perry’s shoulder.

  
“ _EEK_!” Perry shrieks, tearing out of the room and into the bathroom.

If a kitten could look like it was laughing, Carmilla was doing it.

Laura plops Carmilla back in her lap. “Carm, can we please refrain from dropping hairballs on my friends, please.”

The kitten looks up at her sheepishly and seems to nod again.

LaF is chuckling and reaches into the paper bag.

“Why didn’t you tell Perry?” Laura asks, scratching Carmilla behind the ears.

They’re rooting around the bag and pull something out, but hide it behind their back.  “Because I went out immediately to buy things that grown-Catmilla would never deign to play with.”

They produce a small ball of yarn. Immediately, Carmilla perks up and pokes her head out from under Laura’s hand.

LaF walks closer and holds out the ball of yarn. Carmilla lets out a wary mew. LaF drops it on the floor and suppresses laughter and the tiny kitten hops off Laura’s lap and pounces on the ball.

 

“Time for some revenge,” Laura cackles, grabbing her phone and recording.

Perry comes out of the bathroom. “Ugh, I think I got all of it out––” She stops short when she sees Carmilla pushing the ball of yarn around the floor before rolling on her back to continue playing with it, spinning it in place.

Laura giggles and takes a couple pictures.

“I was about to comment on how much I hate Carmilla as a kitten, but I think I stand corrected,” Perry sighs, smiling.

LaF grins.  “Oh, this was better than I could’ve hoped for.”

 

* * *

 

“LaF sent me up here,” Danny states as she enters the room.  “They wouldn’t say why.”

Laura spins in her computer chair. “Pretty sure I know why.”

As if on cue, Carmilla pads across the room, nudging the ball of yarn in front of her.  She stops when she gets to Laura, and bumps her forehead against Laura’s ankle.

Laura beams down and picks her and the ball of yarn up, placing them on the desk behind her.

“Holy crap,” Danny exhales.  “Is that…?”

Carmilla prances around the desk a bit before stretching out and yawning.

“Yeah, that’s Carm,” Laura says, smooching her on the head.

“Damn, she’s cute,” Danny sighs, walking over. “Even her little butt is adorable,” she notes, poking it.

Carmilla looks positively offended and tries hissing again, resting her head on Laura’s shoulder when she fails.

“Don’t poke my girlfriend’s ass,” Laura says with a giggle.  “Even if it _is_ adorable.”

The tiny kitten actually cranes her head and narrows her eyes at Laura.

“Oh, don’t give me that look. You love when I compliment your butt when you’re not a cat.  Why is it any different now?”

Carmilla dips her head a bit as if to relent. She climbs onto Laura’s shoulder and drops down into her lap.

 

“I am so glad LaF sent me up here,” Danny says, handing Carmilla the ball of yarn.

Carmilla tries biting at it and Danny laughs.

“Look at her itty bitty teeth!”

Laura boops Carmilla on the nose and giggles. “Who’s the cutie now, _cutie_?”

Carmilla stops her failed attack on the ball of yarn, turns to face Laura, and pushes her front paws into her stomach repeatedly.

“Is this you trying to swat me?” Laura teases.

Carmilla keeps pushing and finally gives up, pressing her entire face into Laura’s stomach, letting out a distressed sound.

Laura bursts into laughter.  “Alright, _alright_ , stop whining.  I’ll cut out the teasing.”

Danny pokes Carmilla’s butt again and then pivots to leave.  “Lemme know if she does anything else embarrassingly adorable,” she cackles on her way out.

 

* * *

 

Later on, Laura puts the leather jacket she had bought for Bagheera on Carmilla and takes pictures and video, while the tiny kitten scowls at her.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Mattie,” Laura says, holding the phone against her ear.  “What’s up?”

“ _Is Carmilla nearby?_ ”

Laura looks around.  “Probably, but I can’t find her right now.”

“ _Huh?_ ”

“It’s a long story,” Laura says. “Did you want to talk to her?”

“ _Ah, no,_ ” Mattie says hesitantly, “ _I wanted to talk to you, actually._ ”

“Oh.”  Laura’s eyes widen.  “About what?”

“ _Carm probably hasn’t said anything, but her birthday is coming up,_ ” Mattie replies. “ _She gets kinda…_ bummed _when it rolls around.  Might be a reason you guys never celebrated it._ ”

“Uh, yeah.  I asked her about it one time and she changed the subject so fast I got whiplash.”

Mattie laughs.  “ _Yes, well, through the centuries, I tried getting Ms. Melancholic to either forget about it like I have, or to embrace her immortality.  But my efforts only seem to make it worse._ ”  There’s a pause as Mattie sighs.  “ _But I think if you and your gang of idiots were to, say, throw a party–– planned by you and_ only _you–– she might be less prone to feeling so gloomy._ ”

Laura bites her lip.  “I, uhm… I don’t know about that…”

“ _Oh, for the love of_ God _, Hollis_.” Mattie sighs again, more exasperatedly this time.  “ _You make my sister more happy than I’ve ever seen her. And I’ve seen her through a lot._ ”

“Yeah, but––”

“ _When she smiles at you, it’s more than you lighting up her face or her eyes. It’s like you’re lighting up her entire existence.  So for once, will you do something with that power, and throw my little sister a birthday party?_ ”

 

Laura blinks, slightly shocked at how strongly Mattie is pushing for this.  “Of course.”

“ _And if you somehow fail at this, I’ll skin your tiny ass and use it as a lamp shade,_ ” Mattie adds, perhaps realizing she got way more sincere in this conversation than she’d meant to.

Laura giggles.  “Wouldn’t that just upset Carm more?”

“ _Shut_ up _, twerp._ ”

There’s a soft mew from the other room.

“Mattie, I gotta go.  But thanks for the heads up,” Laura says.

“ _Thanks, Laura,_ ” Mattie mumbles.

Laura furrows her eyebrows together. “What?”

“ _IsaidthanksLaura._ ” There’s a click and Laura stares down at her phone screen.

“Oooookay, then.”

There’s another mew, slightly more insistent.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Laura calls, hopping off her chair and heading to the bedroom.

 

Carmilla, still sporting the leather jacket, is staring up at the bed from the floor.  She is clearly annoyed that she’s too short to make the jump onto the bed.

Laura walks over and picks her up, placing her on it. She turns and starts to walk away, but Carmilla meows again.

Laura heads back to the bed.  “What?”

Carmilla pats at the bed with her front paws.

Laura glances at the clock.  “It’s getting late.  Do you want me to go to bed with you?”

The small kitten pads around in a few circles before settling near the pillow, looking back at Laura.

“Fine, I’ll be right back,” Laura says with a smile. She turns off the lights and her computer before heading back to the bedroom and climbing onto the bed, taking the leather jacket off Carmilla.

 

Once she’s settled in, Carmilla gets up from her spot and inches closer until she’s nestled near Laura’s shoulder. Laura lies on her side and rests her hand carefully on Carmilla, petting her gently.

Carmilla starts purring, her eyelids drooping closed.

Laura stifles a yawn and gives her a small kiss on the head.  “Goodnight, Carm.”

Sometime during the night, Laura rolls onto her back in her sleep.  Carmilla gets up and settles onto Laura’s chest, snuggling there.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!  
> As always, feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> I'll get around to fulfilling as many prompts as possible after I finish writing this new AU I'm working on.  
> Stay awesome!!


	34. Can We Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few snippets of Laura and co. being dorks, dragging Carmilla and Mattie into their silliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I said to myself, "Self, what is the _best possible thing_ you could do with three presentations, four reports, and five exams?" And clearly, writing a new chapter was the answer.  
>  And posting the update when I have a senior thesis defense and a final on the same day :P  
> Enjoy!

“Oh, Knight Lawrence, how will we survive this?” Laura frets, sitting onto the edge of a chair, carefully stacked at the top of a pile of furniture.

“I don’t know, Princess Laura,” Danny pouts next to her, readjusting the metal bucket on her head.  “But we’ll find a way!  We always do!  Just hold on!”

Perry walks into the room and gawks at the tall pile. “How…  Wh-What…  Why…” She continues sputtering as she looks up at them.  “How did you guys make this pile, and-and…”  Her eyes widen. “ _There’s_ the bucket!  I’ve been looking for it everywhere!” she huffs.

Danny frowns and removes her bucket, gently tossing it down to Perry.  “Oh no! My helmet!” she cries.

 

Perry rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.

Laura crosses her arms.  “Well, now what?  How is a knight supposed to be a knight without a helmet?”

Danny shrugs.

Perry walks back in with the bucket, filled with water. She starts mopping the floor around them.

Laura giggles like she has an idea and nudges Danny.

“Ah!  We have a monster in our moat around the castle!”

Perry glances up at them, glares, and then continues mopping.

Danny nods.  “We need to get back into the castle safely, princess!”

“Okay, Knight Lawrence, let’s––” Laura suddenly swings off the edge of the chair, dangling a few feet off the floor.  “ _Eep_! Help!”

Danny giggles and grabs Laura’s arms. “I’ve got you!”

 

Perry sighs.  “You two are going to crack your silly little heads open. And then I’m going to have to mop it up.”

Laura and Danny look over at her and then go back to playing.

“That’s a _nasty_ monster,” Danny comments.

Laura nods with a grunt.  “Knight Lawrence–– if I don’t make it–– I want you to tell…” Her voice cracks and she sniffles.  “…tell Carmilla I love her.”

 

“Why don’t you tell her yourself, cutie?” Carmilla drawls, walking into the room.

Laura’s face lights up.  “Let me go, Lawrence,” she declares dramatically. “It’s okay, I’ll be with Carmilla soon.”

Danny lets her go, choking back a sob.

Laura falls and Carmilla catches her, kissing her on the cheek.

“See?  I knew I’d be with you soon,” Laura teases, giggling.

Danny sits on the chair and rolls her eyes. “ _Ugh_. So gross.”

 

There’s a creaking sound and the entire pile shifts. Danny’s eyes widen as the chair slips off the top of it, and she falls off the side.

Carmilla’s there in an instant, catching her in one arm and placing her on the floor.  All the furniture crashes to the ground and Danny lets out a gasp.

“M-Maybe that’s enough playing around today,” Laura says, still in Carmilla’s other arm.  “And next time we don’t build the tower ourselves.”

Danny nods emphatically.  “With ya there.”

 

Perry pokes at Carmilla’s foot with the mop. “I’ll clean this pile up myself,” she grumbles.  “You’ve all done enough.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and walks out of the room with Laura and Danny in tow.

 

“Good thing she wasn’t here when we were pretending the vacuum cleaner was a dragon,” Danny whispers.

 

* * *

 

Mattie walks into the room, sitting down on a chair next to Carmilla.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Carmilla warns, flipping a page in her book.

Mattie raises an eyebrow.  “Why not?”

“Just trust me,” Carmilla replies, glancing above it.

When Mattie doesn’t move, Carmilla shrugs.

Suddenly there’s screaming in the distance, growing louder as it gets closer.

“Carm!  Carm!–– Queen Karnstein!  Now!” Laura cries, entering the room first.

Carmilla sighs.  “I hereby declare this a place of sanctuary for the bandit Laura Hollis.”

“No, no, you didn’t say it right,” Laura whines.

Danny and LaFontaine burst into the room. “Sorry, Laura, looks like we’ll have to take you in,” LaF says.  “Seeing as how no one invoked their _royal power_.”

Danny grabs Laura’s arms and pins them behind her back.

 

Laura pouts.  “Queen Karnstein!  Help meeeee!”

Carmilla puts her book down and stares at the trio. She stands up, slowly walks over to Danny and LaFontaine, and bends down so they’re looking eye-to-eye.

“ ** _As reigning queen of this land, I hereby declare this a place of sanctuary for the wanted bandit Laura Hollis,_** ” she snarls in their face, baring her fangs.

Danny gulps and lets Laura go.

Laura nudges Carmilla.  “Geez, Carm, dial it back a bit,” she whispers.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and sits back down. “Have I fulfilled my role, yet?”

Laura gives her a thumbs-up.  “Yes, thank you, milady.”

 

“You, a queen?” Mattie scoffs. “I would’ve thought a childish game of make-believe would’ve pinned you as a monster.”

Carmilla shrugs.  “I don’t make the rules.”

 

“Let’s play something else now,” Laura declares. “Maybe this time Danny can be the bandit.”

LaF crosses their arms and walks out of the room with Danny behind them.  “As long as I don’t have to deal with Carmilla growling in my face again,” Danny whimpers.

Laura lingers behind.  “You’re the best queen ever,” Laura says sweetly, kissing her on the cheek before following them out.

  

* * *

 

 

Laura pokes Mattie’s shoulder from behind her as the vampire sips from a goblet.

“Wanna join us?” Laura asks.  “We’re pretending to be bank robbers.  You can be a cop or something?”

Mattie quirks an eyebrow and smirks. “Me?  A good guy?  My, my, how times have changed.”

Laura giggles.  “We’re pretending.  I see no reason you can’t be a good guy.  Besides, you kinda are one now,” she explains. “So?  Do you want to join?”

“I think I’ll sit this one out, Hollis,” Mattie says.

Laura nods.  “Cool.  Okay, bye!”

Her footsteps echo down the stairs as Mattie’s phone rings and she answers it.

 

“ _How’s it going over there?_ ” Carmilla asks.

“Fine, fine.  Your tiny pain in the ass just asked me to play with them. Something about bank robbers and cops.”

Carmilla laughs.  “ _To which you replied…?_ ”

“Hell no,” Mattie replies flatly. “I signed up to make sure no one dies on my watch, not to indulge in the fantasies and imagination of toddlers.”

“ _Okay, okay. But I mean, you’d be surprised how fun it can be.  Yesterday, Laura had me racing her in our cardboard box racecars.  She even let me win._ ”

Mattie’s mouth almost drops open. “You can’t _be_ serious.”

Carmilla clicks her tongue.  “ _Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it._ ”

“I’m starting to think the thing that’s been knocked is your noggin for even suggesting this,” Mattie quips.

Carmilla laughs again.  “ _Alright, fine. I’ll see you in a bit after I finish up with the Alchemy club._ ”

The phone call ends and Mattie scoffs, swirling the blood in her goblet.  “Ridiculous,” she grumbles.

 

She strains her ears to listen out for the children. She can pick up what sounds like Laura, Danny, LaFontaine, and Kirsch.  It’d taken a while to adjust to their voices at this young age, but she was catching on.

“ _Kirsch! Start the getaway car!_ ” Laura yells. “ _Officers Danny and LaF are catching up to me!_ ”

“ _Uhm, okay, L-babe,_ ” Kirsch drawls.  “ _I’ll just throw the loot into the car––_ ”

There’s a loud thud and some screaming before the smell of blood makes its way to Mattie’s nose.

 

She springs out of her seat and heads downstairs, taking in the scene before her.

Danny and LaFontaine are on one side of a fallen bookcase, while Kirsch is on the other.  They’re straining to pick it up off Laura, who seems to be unconscious.

“Oh, _god_ ,” Mattie groans, walking over and easily lifting it.  Danny and Kirsch pull Laura out and LaF helps them get her to the couch.

“She looks dead,” Kirsch whispers.

“Stop it!” Danny yells, smacking him on the arm. “Sh-She’s just…”

“She’s not dead,” Mattie snaps, dropping the bookcase. “I can hear her stubborn little heart beating.”  She glares down at the three small children.  “Would one of you rug rats care to explain to me what happened?”

 

The children look away and start nudging each other to speak.

Finally, Kirsch clears his throat and steps forward. “Well, D-bear and LaF were being the cops and Laura and I were robbing the bank.  Well, not _really_ robbing the bank. But we were like, pretending to rob the bank.  A bank that didn’t have any tellers or people in it, just two cops.  Actually, that doesn’t really make sense, does it––”

Danny elbows him and cuts him off. “Laura was pretending to run away and Kirsch was supposed to throw that duffel bag with packages of cookies in it into the getaway car, which was that box,” she says, pointing at a cardboard box big enough to fit two small children and a duffel bag in it.

“Except, like, I didn’t realize where she was running so I threw the bag… right into her,” Kirsch says.  “And she stumbled and fell into the bookcase and the whole thing came right off the wall and fell on her.”

 

“What the _hell_?” a voice demands, as a blur charges past everyone.  Carmilla kneels down next to the unconscious Laura. “Mattie, _what_ _the_ _hell_?”

“Don’t look at me,” she scoffs. “The tiny brotato is the one who chucked a bag full of cookies at her and knocked her into one of Mother’s rusty old bookcases.”

“I’m sorry,” Kirsch says with a squeak.

“Yeah, you’d better be,” Carmilla says with no real bite, frowning at the small stream of blood coming from a cut. She furrows her eyebrows and strokes Laura’s cheek for a few seconds before turning back to face Mattie. “How long as she been out?” she growls.

“Not that long,” Mattie says with a shrug.

Carmilla turns back and kisses Laura on the cheek.

“ _Relax_ ,” Mattie commands with a sigh.  “She’ll be fine.  She’s got a fat head.”

 

“Relax?” Carmilla shouts, jumping up and facing Mattie. “I left you to watch them for _an hour_ and I come back to find Laura knocked unconscious by a bookcase!”

“That literally happened right after our phone call, sis,” Mattie says, glaring at her.  “Can’t really be in two places at once, can I?  Besides, it’s not like _you’re_ with Laura all day and night, either.”

Carmilla starts to respond, but a small groan from behind her stops her.  She whirls and looks down to see Laura slowly blinking her eyes open.

“Carm, no fighting with Mattie,” Laura mumbles. Mattie lets out a chuckle.

“Oh, thank God,” Carmilla breathes, kneeling down next to her again.  “Are you okay?”

Laura pouts at her.  “Is my head really fat?”

“No, cutie, your head is perfectly sized.” Carmilla kisses Laura on the forehead.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Mattie clicks her tongue.  “ _Well_ …”

Carmilla glares at her.

 

Laura pats Carmilla’s arm.  “I meant it.  Don’t yell at Mattie.  It wasn’t her fault.”

Carmilla frowns down at her.  “How hard did you hit your head?”

“I’m fine,” Laura giggles.  “Now make up with Mattie.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  “I’m sorry for yelling at you,” she grumbles.

Mattie smirks.  “Yeah, well.  Sorry your idiot child got knocked unconscious.”

Laura shoots her a dirty look.

“Sorry _Laura_ got knocked unconscious,” Mattie corrects.

 

Danny sits down next to Laura. “You sure you’re okay? You were unconscious for a bit.”

Laura nods.  “All good.”  She smiles at Mattie. “Wanna play with us now?”

 

Mattie stares at her with an unreadable expression for several seconds.

“Fine, fine,” she finally relents.

“Yay!” Laura squeals.  Her eyes widen as she winces and her hand flies to hold her head.

“Oh, cupcake, are you alright?” Mattie asks, her tone changing entirely as she basically pushes Carmilla out of the way.

“Uhhh… Mattie, are _you_ okay?” Laura asks.

Mattie laughs.  “Yes, I’m playing make-believe.  I’m pretending that I’m Carm.”  She gently pats Laura’s head.  “Now, tell me, are you okay, poptart?” she asks, her voice turning more saccharine than ever.

Laura nods slowly, trying not to giggle.

Carmilla scowls at her.  “Fine, then.  I’m Mattie.” She places one hand on her hip and holds the other one out, accented with an air of superiority. “I don’t give a rat’s ass if Laura’s okay, I just worry about all my board meetings and if my manicure specialist is available.”

 

Mattie’s mouth drops open. “Hi, I’m Carmilla Karnstein, and I sleep in during the day time because the night is dark as my soul,” she sneers.

Danny steps between Mattie and Carmilla. “I’m Laura Hollis and I will stop the anger of two vampires with my tiny stubborn body and my strong willpower!” she declares.

Laura gasps, faking offense.  “I’m Danny Lawrence, and I have a temper the size of the my freakishly-large adult-sized body!”

“Man, I wanted to do Danny,” Kirsch pouts. His eyes widen when everyone looks at him and he realizes what he said.  “Wait! That’s not what I meant!”

LaF snorts.  “I’m Kirsch, and I want to do Danny,” they mock.

Kirsch’s pout grows and he crosses his arms.

 

“Guys, guys, no teasing poor Kirsch. It’s like kicking a puppy,” Danny says. “I should know, I’m so small and clumsy one time I trip over them all the time.”

“Ah yes, but I am there to save the puppies that you trip over, because that’s what I do,” Mattie asserts. “I save useless creatures.”

“And I eat them,” Carmilla says, waving her hand in the air nonchalantly.  “One time I snatched a chinchilla right out of a toddler’s hands and cackled as he watched me consume it.”

“Sometimes when I bend over to hug Laura, my ears pop from the altitude change,” Laura says gravely, her hands on her hips.

Danny scowls at her.  “Well maybe if I, Laura, wasn’t so vertically-challenged, there wouldn’t be a problem.”

“I’M LAF AND I LIKE SCIENCE!” Kirsch yells.

They roll their eyes.  “Dude, stop yelling.  So not cool.  Laura hit her head and it’s probably giving her a headache, bro.”

“Maybe I should eat LaF,” Carmilla says, looking at Kirsch.

Mattie grabs Danny.  “Laura and I will save you!”

 

“Oh _, no!_ ” a voice cries from the staircase.  Everyone turns to look at a distraught Perry.  “Did you all swap bodies?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> As always, feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> I'll get around to fulfilling as many prompts as possible after I finish writing this new AU I'm working on.  
> Stay awesome!!


	35. Galaxy Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Mattie works to help Laura fix her mess-up with Carmilla, but Laura puts her own spin on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after [chapter 25](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/chapters/11191306).  
> Part one of nine of my Holiday Fanfic Bomb 2015! I'll be posting nine updates today to three different fics :)  
> Happy Holidays, creampuffs! Thanks for making my year so amazing <3

“––And, uhm, then I was gonna say that I’m sorry––”

“–– _Do_ NOT _say you’re sorry,_ ” Mattie snaps, and Laura shuts up. “ _This is a romantic gesture, not an apology._ ”

Laura pouts. “B-But you just said I messed up. Shouldn’t I apologize for messing up?”

“ _You ignorant little potato chip,_ ” Mattie sighs on the other end of the call. “ _As far as Carm’s concerned, you hung the damn stars for her—pun intended. Where I think you messed up, she’s probably thinking you can never possibly outdo yourself._ ”

“What if that’s the truth? What if I can’t?” Laura frets.

There’s another sigh. “ _Honestly. When I first met you, you were the most stubborn, self-righteous, confident, obnoxious toddler._ ”

Laura waits a few seconds before clearing her throat. “A-And now?”

“ _Oh, none of that has changed. It’s just now there’s that infuriating self-doubt thrown in there, messing it all up._ ”

Laura groans.

“ _Look. You messed up her birthday. But this will make up for it. To my standards._ ”

 

Laura nods.

“ _Laura?_ ”

“Mmhmm?”

“ _Are you nodding?_ ”

More nodding.

“ _Stop nodding! I can’t see you!_ ” Mattie growls.

Laura giggles nervously. “Sorry, sorry. Okay, so no apologizing.”

“ _No apologizing. Simply say––_ ” Mattie cuts herself off. “–– _And that is why I want you to email me a pdf of the estimated projections for next year’s incoming freshmen,_ ” Mattie continues smoothly.

 

Laura’s eyes widen but she quickly recovers as Carmilla walks into the room. “Are you on the phone with Mattie?”

Laura nods.

Carmilla raises her voice slightly. “Thanks for telling Laura about when my birthday is, Mattie,” she says snidely. “Not like I wanted to keep that one close to the vest, or anything.”

Laura giggles and Mattie harrumphs on the other end. “ _And that is my cue to leave. Talk to you soon, Hollis._ ”

“Bye, Mattie.”

 

“Are you two just talking on a regular basis, now?” Carmilla kisses Laura on the cheek, heading to the chaise.

Laura giggles and rolls off the chair, toddling over to climb up and sit next to Carmilla, minding her arm in its cast. She tucks herself into Carmilla’s side. “She just wanted some stuff for board business and didn’t feel like making a trip here just for them.”

Carmilla looks at her skeptically. “Uh huh.”

Laura crosses her fingers over her heart. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Carmilla takes Laura’s hand in hers. “Alright, alright, no need to threaten your life over this _lie_.”

Laura pouts. “Are you calling me a liar?”

“I ain’t calling you a truther,” Carmilla quips.

Laura breaks into a giggle fit and kisses Carmilla’s jaw. “Silly.”

“So what were you and Mattie _really_ talking about?”

“Patience, Karnstein. Patience.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes at Laura but decides to drop the issue.

 

~*~

 

Carmilla is looking out the window when she hears Laura’s tiny footsteps enter the room. Laura tugs at the hem of her shirt.

Carmilla smirks, covering it by sipping blood from her cup. Laura tugs on the hem again. “Carm?”

Carmilla continues ignoring Laura and more tugs ensue.

“Carm? Carm. Carm! Carm, Carm, Carm, Carm…”

“Alright, _alright_ ,” Carmilla says, finally looking down at Laura. “ _What?_ ”

Laura grins and holds up her cast, now removed from her arm after two months. “Well, I was wondering where you wanted to put your masterpiece?”

Carmilla shrugs. “I mean, it’s nothing special…”

Laura looks mortified. “‘Nothing special?’” she shrieks. “You put an entire galaxy on here!”

“I guess…”

Laura huffs. “How about we put it in the solarium?”

Carmilla chuckles. “Fine. Seems fitting.”

Laura looks satisfied and proud of herself, and grabs Carmilla’s hand, pulling her along. “Let’s go!”

 

They make it upstairs and Carmilla lets out an audible gasp.

Laura turns slowly to face her, suddenly very shy.

“What is this?” Carmilla whispers.

Laura bites her lip. “Well, with this semester’s classes not being in session, the astronomy department wasn’t using this. It projects the stars. LaF helped me set it up. Perry, Danny, Kirsch, and I blocked up all the windows with trash bags. It’s like our own tiny planetarium.”

Carmilla is staring around her in wonder. “I can’t believe you did all this.”

“Uhm,” Laura says, blushing. “There’s more.”

Carmilla raises an eyebrow. “More?”

Laura nods, producing a stack of index cards from her back pocket.

 

“Dear Carmilla,

“Ever since you barged into my dorm room four years ago, we’ve had a wild ride. We’ve survived your mother— twice— and a lot of almost-deaths. We’ve survived an angry anglerfish god and a death prophecy. We’ve survived––” Laura flips a card.

“––We’ve survived obnoxious, silly little hobbits––” Laura frowns and looks at Carmilla card before grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, wrong card.” She rearranges the order and Carmilla chuckles.

“We’ve survived Summer Society lynch mobs and Zeta bro-rons. We’ve survived constant interruptions and near disasters. But through it all, we’re still together.

“And even though I am a…”

Laura flips the card, sighs, and rolls her eyes.

“––Even though I am an obnoxious, silly little hobbit, who apparently can’t throw you a birthday party without smashing my delicate insides…” Laura groans and stuffs the cards back into her pocket. “Mattie wrote all these, but I’m not reading that.”

Carmilla laughs and sits down on a chair, patting the spot next to her.

“Okay, in my own words.” Laura joins her and takes a deep breath. “Carmilla, I started falling in love with you in our tiny little dorm room. And even though you protected me, you also always trusted me to make my own decisions and make my own mistakes. You’re my hero. You’re such an amazing, loving person. You love with everything you’ve got and expect nothing in return. You’ve literally hung the stars in the sky for me, and I thought the least I could do is return the favor.”

 

Carmilla stares at the tiny child before her, mouth slightly open. A tear rolls down her cheek. “What…”

Laura blushes a bit. “I messed up your birthday and I know this is like, a couple weeks late, but I wanted to make it up for you.”

“You-you didn’t mess up my birthday,” Carmilla whispers, her voice still cracking.

Laura laughs. “Mattie thought you might say that. And maybe you think I didn’t, but if we summarize that day, it was literally just me annoying you until you left, then you coming back and thinking something horrible happened to me, and then running to the hospital just to find out I broke my arm.”

Carmilla looks like she’s suppressing laughter as Laura rambles and pouts. “Is that what you think I remember from that day?”

Laura shrugs, her pout growing. “Coz that’s not what I remember,” Carmilla says, pulling her in for a hug and kissing the top of her head. “I remember you deviously getting me away so you could surprise me with a birthday banner, and a cake. And,” Carmilla pulls away so they can look into each other’s eyes. “I remember that you went out of your silly little way to get me those books. And I remember that this was the best birthday I have ever had.”

 

Laura blinks back some tears. “Seriously?”

Carmilla laughs and nods. “Look, I’m sure Mattie’s heart is in the right place, but you didn’t mess anything up. She wasn’t… nasty about it, was she?”

Laura shakes her head with a sniffle. “Well, I told her everything that happened. And I think she _was_ gonna skin my tiny ass and use it as a lampshade but then I told her about how I broke my arm trying to make sure your birthday party was the best and how I got you those books from the ruins of our dorm, and then she got really quiet. Which I took to either mean that she was calming down, or was Googling to see how much lampshades made from tiny asses are going for on the black market.”

“Well, I’ll tell her that none of that will be necessary, because you knocked my birthday party _and_ tonight out of the park. And I like your tiny ass right where it is.”

Laura nuzzles her face into Carmilla’s side. “Ahlevoo,” she says, mumbled.

Carmilla laughs. “What?”

Laura pulls away and grins up at Carmilla. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, cutie.”

 

Carmilla gets up and takes a blanket off one of the chairs, laying it on the floor and lying down. Laura wanders over and snuggles up against her side.

“The stars look beautiful,” Carmilla breathes out. Laura lets out a hum.

They lie there for a few minutes before Laura lets out a gasp. “Oh!” She scrambles to her feet and heads over to the projector.

“What are you doing?”

“I forgot to mention that on top of the regular night sky we have here on Earth, the projector has settings for…” Laura presses a few buttons and the “sky” suddenly _zooms_ in.

“Whoa.”

Laura giggles. “Yeah. It’s been programmed for a bunch of settings for different areas of the solar system.”

 

She switches it back to the regular night sky and returns to her spot next to Carmilla. “Y’know, Mattie said you look at me like I hung the stars in the sky.”

“I used to get so disgusted with myself for that,” Carmilla admits with a chuckle. “But then I realized that you came along one day and offered me an entire galaxy… when I only expected a single planet.” She gestures to the space around them. “And you proved that tonight.”

Laura kisses Carmilla on the cheek. “Well you deserve the galaxy, Carmilla Karnstein. You deserve it and more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> I'll get around to fulfilling as many prompts as possible after I finish writing this new AU I'm working on.  
> Also FYI updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!!


	36. (Un)Living Conditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura has to deal with living with two vampires who apparently love pulling pranks and using their abilities to their advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand, last but not least, part nine of nine of my Holiday Fanfic Bomb 2015!  
> Set after [chapter 28](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/chapters/11402161).  
> Once again, happy holidays, creampuffs! Thanks for making my year so amazing <3

Carmilla walks into the apartment and listens for signs of life. She picks up some muffled sounds from the kitchen and heads that way. As she approaches, she hears a frustrated muttering. Her lips curl up when she realizes it’s Laura.

“ _…Stupid… tiny… five-year old… stubby…_ ”

Carmilla peers into the room and sees Laura struggling with a jar.

“Dang it!” Laura hisses, letting out an irritated groan and finally slamming the jar against a table edge.

Carmilla lets it get to four bangs before she finally steps in and wrenches it from Laura’s hand. “Are you _trying_ to get glass all over the place and incur the wrath of Curly Ginger?” Carmilla asks, amused.

Laura pouts up at her. “I can’t open this jar.”

Carmilla laughs.

“Don’t _laugh_ at me, Carm,” Laura whines. “I’m fragile.”

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes and tries to twist the top off. She frowns when it doesn’t open and gives it a few more attempts.

“What the twisty hell?”

Laura lets out a triumphant cry. “See? You can’t do it either!”

Carmilla narrows her eyes at glares down at Laura. “I _will_ eat you.”

Laura’s pout returns. “Can you open the darn jar, or not? Those pickles are calling to me.” She presses her ear against the glass. “ _Laura… Laura… Free us, Laura…_ ”

Carmilla gently pushes Laura away and tries opening it again. “You’re a weirdo, you know that?”

“Yeah,” Laura says, crossing her arms. “But I’m _your_ weirdo.”

Carmilla gives it a couple more tries before her temper starts to get the better of her. Finally she takes a page out of Laura’s book and smashes the jar against the side of the table. Except this time, the poor thing breaks and shatters all over the place.

Laura shields her face and lets out a squeak.

Carmilla drops the shards and kneels next to Laura, carefully inspecting Laura’s arms.

 

“How are your hands?” Laura frets.

Carmilla glances down, but there’s no blood on them. “I’m fine.” She continues checking Laura, and there are some small cuts, but no glass embedded. “And I’m sorry.”

Laura shrugs and bends down to pick up a pickle off the ground. “It’s all good, Carm. Thanks for liberating the pickles.”

Carmilla laughs and shakes her head in disbelief. “You are unbelievable, cupcake.”

 

“ _Seriously_?” a shrill voice demands from the doorway. Perry is holding her head and groaning. “I _just_ mopped!”

 

 ~*~

 

“Hey, Laura!” Danny calls as Kirsch holds open the door for her and closes it behind him. “You around?”

A frantic Laura comes darting down the stairs and grabs Danny. “ _Save me!_ ”

Danny furrows her eyebrows together. “From what?”

Laura pants, out of breath. “From––”

Two blurs fly down the stairs and snatch Laura away from Danny, accompanied by laughter bouncing off the walls.

 

“Tag! You’re It!” Mattie mocks, standing behind Carmilla.

Laura scowls at them. “I don’t wanna play anymore!”

“Sorry, cutie. You challenged two vampires to a game of tag, and that’s what you’re getting.”

“But it’s not _fair_ ,” Laura pouts.

“Life’s not fair, French fry,” Mattie sneers.

Kirsch nudges Danny. “I know how we can make it more fair!”

Danny seems to catch on and nods. “Yes, yes.” She winks at Laura. “The three of us against two of you!”

Mattie and Carmilla share a look before shrugging.

“Sounds good to me,” Mattie comments. “Hollis is still _It_ , though.” She grins and takes off at vampire speed, her cackling echoing from upstairs a few seconds later.

Carmilla starts to do the same, but is stopped by two extra weights on her leg. She glances down, and Kirsch and Danny have wrapped themselves around her leg, hugging themselves to them. They grin up at her, and Laura saunters over and tags Carmilla.

 

“ _Tag_ , you’re IT!” Laura squeals.

Mattie descends down the stairs as Carmilla scowls and Danny and Kirsch detach themselves from her. “Seriously, sis? You let these three toddlers best you?”

Carmilla scoffs. “Yeah, yeah, I’m It.”

Danny and Kirsch grab Laura and the three flee from the room in a panic. Mattie smirks and glances at Carmilla. “Come on, you adorable lug.”

Carmilla glares at Mattie and grins, walking over to her and grabbing her arm.

 

“Tag, you’re it,” Carmilla snickers, taking off into the next room.

Mattie’s mouth drops open. “How _dare_ you!”

 

 ~*~

 

Mattie strolls in and spots Carmilla, still in her panther form from her run the previous night, sleeping on the floor. She gingerly steps around her and taps Laura on the shoulder.

Laura glances over and smirks when she sees Mattie. “Did you get it?” she whispers.

Mattie nods and hands the requested item to Laura, who giggles.

“I’m not gonna use it right now, since Carm is sleeping,” Laura explains.

Mattie nods. “Well, as her centuries-old friend, I simply cannot condone this,” she says sharply. Laura frowns at her. “…But as someone who enjoys Carmilla’s misery–– innocently, of course–– I beg of you, please take video.”

“You betcha,” Laura says, grinning at her.

“I knew I left you alive for a reason,” Mattie teases as she ruffles Laura’s hair and pats her before leaving.

 

Eventually, Carmilla wakes up, stretching and yawning on the ground while still in her cat form.

Laura smoothly turns on the camera while swiveling in her chair. She turns on the device Mattie bought her and waits.

Carmilla blinks groggily for a few seconds and then stares at the red dot on the ground. She growls and then pounces on it, her front paws landing folded over the dot.

Laura stifles her laughter and continues pressing the button, moving it over to the chaise. She watches as the large black cat snarls and leaps across the room, more or less gracefully.

Next, the dot moves slowly across the room, and Carmilla follows it warily.

 

Except the laser pointer slips from Laura’s hands. She manages to catch it but accidentally presses the button and a red dot appears on her lap. Her eyes widen as she hears a stampeding across the room.

“Carm!” Laura shrieks. “Wait- wait- wait- _NO––_!”

There’s a loud crash as Carmilla lands on Laura, and the entire chair collapses. Laura gasps as the large panther remains on top of her.

“Ca-Carm… can’t… breathe…”

Carmilla finally shifts back and rolls off Laura. “Christ, are you okay?”

Laura groans but nods.

Rapid footsteps approach the room as Mattie pokes her head in. “What the…”

 

Carmilla narrows her eyes at Mattie. “Did you know about this? The laser pointer?” She shoots Laura a glare, and Laura shrinks.

Mattie smirks. “I might have.”

“Well, I almost flattened Laura because of it!” Carmilla snaps.

Mattie shrugs and turns to leave the room, seemingly satisfied that everything is okay. “I told you that you need to cut the cookies out of your diet…”

Carmilla looks down at Laura again. “You sure you’re okay?”

Laura nods again, standing up and sputtering a bit. “I think I swallowed some fur, though.”

 

~*~

 

Carmilla flips a page in her book when she hears small footsteps approach her. There’s a slight tug at the hem of her shirt and she glances over to see Laura clutching a jar of mayonnaise.

“Help a tiny creampuff out?” Laura asks, beaming at Carmilla, who sighs. “Well, don’t get all huffy. I tried and tried but my short fingers couldn’t wrap around the lid.”

Carmilla smirks at her. “You’re awfully useless, buttercup,” she teases.

Laura scowls at her, bunching up her face. “Hush. Just open the jar, Karnstein.” Her scowl quickly turns into a sweet smile. “Please?”

Carmilla rolls her eyes, takes the jar, and grips the lid, ready to turn it. But it doesn’t budge.

Laura’s eyes widen.

Carmilla gives it a few more attempts and stares at it.

“P-Please don’t smash this one, too,” Laura pleads, taking a couple steps back.

Carmilla sighs and stands up, straining to turn the lid. “This _goddamn_ abomination––” She lets out a frustrated growl.

 

Laura sinks down into her (new) chair and groans. Then she glances over and furrows her eyebrows together. “That’s weird. I could’ve sworn I turned the camera off…” She pauses the recording and goes to the beginning of the file to see when she turned it on.

She doesn’t expect to see Mattie in front of the camera, grinning.

Carmilla’s jaw drops open and she places the jar down to stop her from throwing it in anger. “ _MATTIE!_ ”

 

A blur rushes into the room, stopping by Laura’s desk. Mattie’s eyes are wide, clearly thinking that someone’s in actual danger. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion when she realizes there is none.

“Uhm, Carm, why did you call my name like there was a mob of angry villagers ready to burn us at the stake?”

 

Laura nudges Mattie. “Because she’s basically _got_ the wrath of a mob of angry villagers ready to burn you guys at the stake,” she warns in a whisper.

Carmilla shoots Laura a glare and points at the computer screen. “What is this?”

Mattie glances over and smirks after a couple seconds.

“You’re in _trouuuuble,_ ” Laura taunts.

“Look, I was rooting through some boxes in the basement when I found that old magical adhesive Mother used to use when some idiot child would break an artifact in her office or what have you,” Mattie explains, amused. “I may or may not have placed it on jars in the kitchen and placed a camera in there or used Laura’s to record you two struggling.”

Laura frowns at the jar of mayonnaise. “So it’s like, Spello-tape?”

Carmilla and Mattie give her blank looks.

“Y’know, like from _Harry Potter_ –– never mind, so not the point,” Laura concedes, joining Carmilla in staring down Mattie.

 

Mattie scoffs with a chuckle. “Honestly, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. I was getting bored. A woman’s gotta manufacture her own entertainment around here.”

“‘No big deal?’ I shattered the last jar and Laura got cuts all over her arms!” Carmilla huffs.

“Not to be callous–– actually, who am I kidding? I love being callous–– but no one _made_ you break that jar, Carm. You did that all on your own.” She pinches Carmilla’s cheek. “My cute little monster with her adorable temper.”

Carmilla swats the hand away and crosses her arms. “Yeah, well… You suck.”

Mattie laughs. “Been spending too much time around five year olds, have we?”

 

Laura sighs and taps on Mattie’s butt. “Okay, but like, _priorities_ , here? How do we open this jar? I really need the mayonnaise, please.”

“I’ll get that right off for you, hon,” Mattie says, taking the jar and leaving the room.

Carmilla gently grabs Laura by the arm and guides her back to the chair. “Start deleting files, Hollis.” She kisses the top of Laura’s head. “And start putting that sweet noggin of yours to work.”

Laura frowns. “For what?”

Carmilla’s lips curl up into a smile. “For revenge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> I'll get around to fulfilling as many prompts as possible after I finish writing this new AU I'm working on.  
> Also FYI updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!!


	37. Carmilla's Little Helper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because Laura Hollis is in her tiny five year old body doesn't mean she can't still try to help her broody vampire out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Managed to work an idea from [carmillacarter](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/post/136576837862/ok-but-picture-this-laura-buys-one-of-those-cds/) in here. Thanks for the inspiration!  
> Enjoy!

Laura and Perry enter the building, trailed by Kirsch. They’re struggling with bags of groceries. “Guys, we’re back!” Laura calls, giving a grateful nod to Kirsch for holding open the door for her.

Danny and LaF rush over to help and Danny gestures to Laura that she needs to whisper something in her ear.

“Carmilla’s in a bad mood,” she says, hushed.

Laura raises an eyebrow. “Why? What happened?”

Danny shrugs. “She’s been screaming and cursing away up there. LaF wanted to go in and find out what’s going on, but I figured Perry would be _slightly_ annoyed at coming back from getting groceries to find them dismembered.”

Perry nods ahead of them. “Yes, I would.”

“Squeakers accidentally strolled into the room and she almost bit her head off. Literally,” LaF frets.

“I wouldn’t have been upset about _that,_ ” Perry teases, causing LaF’s pout to grow.

 

Laura helps the others put away the groceries before slowly tiptoeing to where grumbling is coming from. She lingers outside the doorway, but can’t make out what Carmilla’s going on about. It just sounds like an endless string of numbers.

“C-Carm?” Laura tries as she ventures into the room.

“ _What_?” Carmilla snaps, her back turned.

Laura jumps . Carmilla seems to sense this as she sighs and stands up from her spot on the floor. She walks over to Laura and kneels down in front of her, frowning. “Sorry, cutie. Didn’t mean to yell.”

Laura gives her a small smile and kisses Carmilla on the cheek. “It’s fine. What are you up to?”

 

Carmilla huffs and rises, walking back over to gesture at a messy pile. “I’m trying to put together this stupid desk.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Except the instructions are less coherent than the ones in that damn Sumerian tome about the anglerfish god.”

Laura pouts. “Well, maybe together it’ll be slightly less difficult?”

Carmilla lets out a wry laugh. “I admire your optimism,” she says flatly.

Laura bends down to pick up the instructions and frowns at it. “Okay, so…” She quietly reads to herself.

Carmilla glances over Laura’s shoulder and lets out a long, stretched-out curse and picks up a piece off the ground.

Laura ducks as Carmilla turns away from her, throwing a piece in her hand across the room.

“ _I’VE BEEN READING IT UPSIDE DOWN THE WHOLE TIME,_ ” Carmilla roars.

 

Laura stifles some laughter and quietly walks across the room to crawl under the chaise and search for the piece. She lets out a small gasp to indicate she’s found it.

There’s a small _thud_ and a groan as Laura stands back up, holding the piece in one hand and clutching her head in the other. She holds it out for Carmilla, who frowns and takes it before placing it on the table.

“Are you okay?” Carmilla asks, gently rubbing Laura’s head.

“Yeah, I’ve got a hard melon,” Laura says, leaning against her.

Carmilla chuckles softly.

“Look, how about I read the instructions, and you put the thing together? Like a true team effort,” Laura suggests with a bright smile.

Carmilla smirks and nods. “I knew I kept you around for a reason,” she teases.

Laura giggles and picks up the instructions again.

 

They’ve built it within the hour and marvel at their finished product.

“Why did we build this desk, anyway?” Laura asks, snuggling into Carmilla’s side.

Carmilla grins. “It’s for you. It’s shorter, that way you don’t need to sit on a pillow or anything when you broadcast.”

Laura gasps. “Oh, Carm, you didn’t have to do this for me.”

Carmilla kisses the top of her head. “Well, I didn’t. We did it together.”

 

* * *

 

“I don’t know what to do, Mattie,” Laura whines. “She’s trying her best to be patient with all of us but, like, the other day I tried to go food shopping without her but it took a lot longer coz my tiny muscles were trying to push all these groceries and she panicked thinking something happened like that canned soup incident––”

Mattie lets out a long, exaggeratedly forces yawn.

Laura stops talking and actually glares at the phone.

“ _Oh, wow, that actually shut you up,_ ” Mattie remarks. “ _Wasn’t sure that’d work._ ”

Laura pouts. “Maaaattie…”

“ _Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. You’re stressing Carmilla out. You’re stressing yourself out about stressing Carmilla out. You’re probably stressing Carmilla out about stressing yourself out about stressing her out. So stop stressing each other out._ ”

“But we tried that. We tried giving her catnip.”

“ _And…?_ ”

“And she calmed down for a bit, but we can’t keep her drugged for the entirety of this thing,” Laura says with a sigh. She lets out a small giggle. “I wish I was recording more broadcasts, though. It’d be hilarious to see these things again.”

 

There’s some static.

“ _Sorry, dear, was going through a tunnel. What was that about CDs?_ ”

“Oh, no, I just said I would’ve like to see these––” Laura’s eyes widen.

Mattie sighs. “ _Hello? You still there?_ ”

Laura squeals. “Thanks for the idea, Mattie!”

“ _But I didn’t––_ ”

“Talk to you soon!”

Laura hangs up the phone and starts shopping online.

 

~*~

 

A few days later, a weary Carmilla trudges in and yawns.

“Hey, cutie,” she greets, crawling onto the bed.

Laura leans her head on Carmilla’s chest. “What’s up?”

“I put up a tire swing for The Puppy and the Zetas,” Carmilla begins smiling back at Laura, “and helped Ginger One find Stuart Little. Again. And Tiny Ginger got lost in the forest while wandering around the same stump for hours or something.”

Laura gives her a small smile. “You didn’t have to do all that, Carm,” she says sweetly and softly.

Carmilla shrugs. “Wouldn’t want to see your adorable pouty face if Little Red gets eaten by something while being mistaken for a walking mushroom.”

 

Laura laughs, unconvinced. She rolls off the bed, pulls out a small CD from a cardboard box, and pops it into her computer. She lets it start playing and goes back to her previous position of resting her head on Carmilla’s chest.

“Mmm,” Carmilla hums. “I like this music. What is it?”

Laura beams at her. “Just a new CD I ordered. Do you feel more relaxed?”

“Mmhmm,” Carmilla mumbles, lazily running her hand through Laura’s hair as her eyes droop closed. “Oddly really soothing.”

After a few moments, Laura feels Carmilla drifting off to sleep, more relaxed than she’s been in weeks. Soon, her purring starts.

Laura grins, quietly tucking the _Music Cats Love: While You Are Gone_ CD under her pillow.

 

* * *

 

 

“Movie, three words,” Danny says, with Laura and Carmilla nodding.

Laura makes a ‘T’ with her index fingers.

“First word, ‘the,’” Perry guesses, and Carmilla nods again.

Laura looks at Carmilla and gives her a pointed look. Carmilla’s eyes widen when she realizes what Laura has in mind. She shakes her head vigorously.

Laura tilts her head and gives her a more pointed look. Carmilla shakes her head again.

“Running out of time here to get us to guess, guys,” LaF comments.

Carmilla sighs and rolls her eyes. She takes a deep breath and transforms into a giant black cat.

Laura stands behind her as Carmilla shifts to hook her claws into the floorboards to stand on her hind paws and lifts the front ones up. Laura struggles for a bit and kneels on the chaise so she’s slightly taller than Carmilla and places her hands under Carmilla’s arms, as if she’s holding her up.

“Oh! Oh!” Kirsch shouts excitedly. “ _The Lion King!_ ”

 

“Yeah!” Laura squeals and Carmilla shifts back, looking annoyed.

“That’s cheating,” Danny whines. “It’s already bad enough you get a full-sized person to work with, now you have a shape-shifting advantage, too!”

“No one likes a sore loser,” Carmilla sneers.

Laura pouts. “I’m not a cheater…”

“Trying to be cute about it won’t help, Hollis,” Danny snaps, crossing her arms.

Carmilla starts to take a step towards Danny to tell her to back off, but instead her boot gets caught in the floorboard where her claw dug in, and she trips and falls, landing on her face with a grunt.

 

LaF is the first to burst out into hysterics, and Danny starts laughing right after them.

“Oh… d-dear,” Perry manages to get out before chuckling. Kirsch’s laughter soon follows.

“What did you even _trip_ on?” Danny says through her giggling.

Carmilla props herself up, her eyes widening when she realizes everyone is laughing at her. Anger flashes across her face, quickly replaced by embarrassment.

Laura seems to sense this and gets up.

 

“Okay, guys, cut it ou––” Laura trips and lands right next to Carmilla.

Her fall is convincing enough that everyone starts laughing even harder. Kirsch manages to get something out about “not learning from Carmilla’s mistake” and LaF comments about “Laura tripping over a dust mite bigger than she is.”

Carmilla shifts a bit to look at Laura, whose cheeks are reddening.

“You didn’t actually trip, did you?” Carmilla asks softly so only Laura can hear.

Laura grins and shakes her head no.

“You pretended to so I wouldn’t be as embarrassed.”

Laura nods and shifts to move closer to Carmilla, who leans over and kisses Laura on the cheek.

“Thank you.”

“Consider it payment for acting out _The Lion King_ ,” Laura giggles.

  

* * *

 

 

“Does anyone have any three’s?” Laura asks.

Danny, LaFontaine, Perry, and Kirsch shake their heads.

“Looks like I’m goin’ fishing,” Laura responds, reaching for a card.

There’s a loud crash and some incoherent screaming from the bedroom and everyone jumps.

Laura’s the first to get up and starts to head for the door. Danny and Kirsch are the next to follow, but Laura turns and stops them.

“It’s fine, I can go alone,” Laura insists.

LaF and Perry start to rise as well, looking unsure. “Laura, honey, we don’t know what that sound was,” Perry points out.

“And we’re our itty bitty five year old selves…’ LaF continues.

“Not that her adult self is much bigger,” Danny whispers to Kirsch, who giggles.

 

Laura cuts her eyes at her. “I heard that.” Danny shrinks sheepishly. “Anyway, I do know what that sound was, and I’ll be fine.”

LaF sighs as she leaves the room. They pick up Laura’s cards. “I think she’s just doing this because her hand sucks.”

 

~*~

 

Laura tiptoes into the bedroom and sees Carmilla thrashing about on the bed. She’s mumbling about blood and suffocating, letting out small pained gasps.

Laura picks up the lamp that had been knocked off the nightstand and places it upright on the floor.

Laura climbs onto the bed, trying to avoid Carmilla’s flailing limbs.

“This was so much easier when I wasn’t the size of an actual creampuff,” Laura frets. She dodges a swipe and gently rests a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder. “Carm?”

Carmilla lets out a growl and Laura narrowly misses another swipe.

“Carm!” Laura says, more urgently. “It’s a dream, it’s a dream!”

Carmilla’s arm whips back again and this time Laura doesn’t manage to evade it, getting slapped right across the face.

 

Laura lets out a yelp and Carmilla’s eyes snap open. She rolls off the bed, staring at Laura as she clutches her face.

“L-Laura?”

Laura lets out a pained groan and nods. “It was just a nightmare, Carm,” she says softly, meeting Carmilla’s wild and confused gaze with a warm one.

“Y-Ye-Yeah,” Carmilla mumbles with a sniffle. She gets back onto the bed and slowly reaches for Laura’s face, hesitating.

Laura slowly drops her head down and Carmilla sucks in a breath at seeing the red welt forming.

“I am so, so sorry,” she says in a horrified whisper.

 

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” Laura says, leaning forward and hugging Carmilla. “It was nothing my friends downstairs wouldn’t have done by the end of our card game session, anyway.”

Carmilla chuckles, trying to imagine Danny reaching up to slap Laura for cheating over a card game.

Laura pulls away and plays with the hem of her shirt. “Are you okay?”

Carmilla wipes away the residual tears in her eyes. “Yeah.”

“Are you hungry?”

Carmilla shakes her head no.

“Are ya _sure_?” Laura teases.

Carmilla lies back down and gives Laura a warm smile. “I’m fine.”

 

Laura hops off the bed and grabs the _Music Cats Love: While You Are Gone_ CD and starts playing music off it again before climbing back into bed.

Carmilla props herself up on her elbows. “How’s your face?” she frowns.

Laura touches her tender cheek. “It’s fine. Kinda puffier than the other.” She pouts at Carmilla. “Do you still love me now that I’m lopsided?”

Carmilla chuckles softly and pulls Laura towards her. “I’d love you even if you had no cheeks.”

“Now, now, let’s not get carried away,” Laura teases, curling up against Carmilla’s side.

 

Carmilla slowly lies back and strokes Laura’s cheek gently.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Laura says, “but if you want to, I’m here to listen.”

“Just having you here helps, Laura,” Carmilla whispers, kissing the top of Laura’s head.

Laura nods. “I just wish I could do more.”

“You always help, even with the little things,” Carmilla says. “More than you’ll ever know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> Also FYI updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome!!


	38. Not All Heroes Wear Capes. Some Wear Blankies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day Two of baby!Laura hijinks ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's a two-fer!  
> Set between chapters 21 and 22, more baby!Laura :D  
> In case anyone needs a refresher, "Da-da" is Danny, and "Baba" is Bagheera, Laura's stuffed panther haha

Carmilla wakes up when she feels something squirming underneath her hand. She slowly opens one eye and sees a baby wriggling under the weight of it.

“Am I hurting you?” Carmilla worries, moving her hand.

Laura reaches out and grabs Carmilla’s fingers, tugging them back towards herself with a giggle.

“Looks like Day Two of baby cupcake duty will be just as eventful,” Carmilla teases, playfully moving her fingers and poking a laughing Laura.

In an effort to stop the tickle assault, the baby wraps itself around Carmilla’s hand and hugs it, immobilizing her enemy.

“Alright, alright, I surrender,” Carmilla says around a yawn. “I give up and I’m going back to sleep.”

 

She dozes off for a bit before her eyes crack open again and she realizes there is no longer a stirring baby near her.

Carmilla sits right up, eyes wide. “Laura?” She glances around the bed and the room, but she’s alone.

She double-checks the pile of pillows she had set up last night, and picks up the pillows and blanket to make sure Laura isn’t hiding. Panic settles into her chest and she tries to will herself to calm down.

“ _Laura_!”

Small footsteps approach the bedroom and three tiny redheads enter.

“Lookin’ for this?” LaFontaine asks, grinning. Perry and Danny are pushing a gurgling Laura in on a small stroller.

Carmilla jumps off the bed and grabs Laura out of the stroller, holding her close and letting out a sigh of relief. “You guys just snatched her off our bed?” she growls, putting Laura down on the bed.

Perry rolls her eyes. “As if. No, she just crawled into our bedroom about an hour ago.”

“Th-Then how did she get off the bed?” Carmilla looks at Laura, as if the baby will suddenly be able to articulate a response.

“Watch out!” Danny calls out.

 

Before anyone can react, Laura leans off the edge of the bed and lands right onto the pile of pillows. She rolls over and crawls to Carmilla’s leg, giggling and tugging on her pants.

“Oh, she must’ve done that earlier. Just fallen onto the pile and then made her escape,” LaF surmises.

Carmilla scoffs and picks Laura back up, bringing her to eye level. “Is that what you did?” she coos. “It was, wasn’t it? Just trying to scare the crap out of poor ol’ Carmilla?”

Laura giggles at Carmilla’s silly voice and reaches out a hand, grabbing onto her nose.

“I take this as an admission of guilt, Hollis,” Carmilla says nasally, narrowing her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

Perry walks in to find Carmilla lying prone on the floor, next to Laura in a similar position. She hovers in the doorway, quietly trying to figure out what is happening while their backs are turned to her.

“Where could she be?” Carmilla asks sweetly. Her face is inches from Laura’s cheek.

“Baba?” Laura asks.

“Do you think she’s under here?” Carmilla asks, gently edging Laura towards the underside of the chaise.

“Uh-uh,” Laura grunts.

“Well, I have no idea where she could be, cutie,” Carmilla says, using a tone where she’s clearly lying to Laura to play along with her, and Perry smiles at it.

Laura turns to look at Carmilla and her face bunches up in confusion. “Baba?”

 

Carmilla pushes herself up and picks up Laura under the arms so that Laura is facing away from her. She holds Laura up by the desk. “Do you see her anywhere?”

Laura shakes her head with a gurgle.

She walks Laura over towards the bedroom, bringing Laura slightly closer to her so they can see each other’s faces. “Keep an eye out, cupcake. She could be _anywhere_ , okay?”

Laura adopts a serious expression and nods gravely.

Carmilla wanders around the bedroom, holding Laura out to various spots.

 

“No Baba,” Laura reports as Carmilla places her on the bed.

“Welp, I guess she’s gone forever,” Carmilla deadpans. “We’ll never see her ever again.”

The baby’s eyes widen and she lets out a gasp. “No, Carm! Wan’ Baba.”

Carmilla grins that she got the intended effect of her teasing. “Alright, alright, we’ll keep looking.”

Laura looks satisfied with this idea and waits as Carmilla cradles her in her arms again, carrying her out of the bedroom. She peppers Laura’s cheek with small kisses, chuckling as Laura starts squealing with joy.

They walk right into a smirking Perry.

“Hello, Carmilla,” she greets smugly. “Whatcha doin’?”

Carmilla looks like a deer caught in the headlights and swallows hard, trying to scrape up some dignity and adopt her usual unaffected air. It doesn’t work.

 

“We are searching for something. Isn’t that right, Laura?”

Laura seems to notice the change in Carmilla’s demeanor and identifies Perry as the reason. She stares down from Carmilla’s arms and nods.

“I knew you had a soft spot with Laura, and a whole other side reserved for her. I just had no idea you could be _this_ loving and–– well, _adorable_ ,” Perry snickers.

Carmilla scowls at her. “Whatever. We’ve got a stuffed animal to hunt down, don’t we, cupcake? Let’s check the solarium.”

Laura blows Perry a raspberry as Carmilla brings her upstairs.

 

* * *

 

 

“Wow, she’s got quite an arm!” Kirsch remarks, watching as a small ball soars across the room.

“I got it, I got it,” Danny calls out, running for the ball thrown by Laura.

“This is so fun, it’s taking away from the misery of looking after a baby who won’t sleep,” LaF comments. “Good idea, Kirsch.”

“I did it all the time with my little sister,” he states proudly.

Danny rolls it back to Laura and she lets it fly again, this time towards LaF’s section of the room.

“Damn, she’s strong,” LaF comments.

“That’d explain how grown-up Laura managed to hit a vampire and live to tell the tale,” Carmilla replies, flipping a page in her book.

“Also how she got hit on by a vampire and lived to the tale,” Danny says smugly, grinning at Carmilla.

 

Carmilla glares over her book. “Watch it, gumdrop,” she warns.

LaF gives the ball a soft toss back to Laura’s side of the room, smiling as she crawls over and pounces on it with a grunt.

Danny shrugs. “Just sayin’. Most girls you flirted with wound up running away from campus, or ended up as fish food.”

Laura tosses the ball between Danny and Kirsch, and Kirsch runs after it as it rolls past them.

“Laura’s the only one that didn’t die or run away from you,” Danny continues.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and continues reading, ignoring her.

Kirsch rolls the ball back at Laura.

“And even then, she only stayed because she thought she could sway you to becoming some hero and knight in shining armor––”

A ball flies across the room and smacks Danny right in the face.

 

“ _OW_!” Danny yelps, clutching her face. Everyone slowly turns to look at the baby across the room, whose face is bunched up.

“Da-da, no… no Carm,” Laura babbles with a huff.

Kirsch’s mouth drops open and he breaks out into laughter. “Oh, man, D-bear! Laura just totally threw a ball at you and told you off for ragging on Carmilla!”

Danny frowns and rubs at the increasingly red spot on her face. “I was just teasing, geez.”

 

Carmilla laughs and walks over to Laura, scooping her up and kissing her on the cheek.

Laura maintains her attention on Danny with her scrunched up look. “Da-da,” she states. She gestures at Carmilla.

“What?” Danny asks grumpily.

“ _Da-da._ ” Baby Laura gestures with both of her arms again.

Kirsch snickers. “I think she wants you to apologize.”

Danny throws her arms up in the air, exasperated. “Fine! Fine. I’m sorry, Carmilla Karnstein, for insulting you, and incurring the wrath of the infant Laura Hollis.”

They all glance at Laura, who seems satisfied.

Carmilla laughs and kisses her again. “My hero.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> Updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome <3


	39. Infant Wednesday Addams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 of Laura dealing with baby!Carmilla, where she finds out Carmilla has a more vulnerable and a silly side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY SEASON 3!! *throws confetti*  
> (And Happy Valentine's Day!)  
> (Also if it seems like I've disappeared, I haven't... exactly. I'm writing two other fics for your viewing pleasure at the moment :P)  
> But after the news yesterday, I figured this fic could use an update.  
> Enjoy the silliness!

“Laura, sweetie?” a raspy voice croaks out. “Laura.”

Laura groans and opens one eye. Seeing Perry as an elderly lady was still shocking, and it takes her a moment to focus. “Perry?” she mumbles sleepily. “What is it?”

“Some of the Alchemy Club members are here and… well, it’ll be better coming from them,” she says, shifting uncomfortably and wringing her hands together.

Laura sits up and yawns. “You know, I thought you were already a nervous wreck. And then you became a kid, and I thought it couldn’t get worse. But now as an old lady…” Laura teases.

Perry rolls her eyes. “I’m not too old to slap you,” she snaps, rising slowly.

Laura giggles and looks around her. “Have you seen Carm?”

“Just go outside and talk to the club members,” Perry sighs.

 

Laura frowns and rolls off the bed, heading outside to find three members and one fidgeting baby.

“Uhm, so th–this is… yours…” one says awkwardly, handing Laura the baby, who’s bizarrely wrapped in a leather swaddle.

She feels familiar to Laura, but she can’t quite put her finger on why. “What’s going on? I’m not running a daycare.”

Another one clears their throat. “Tha–that’s…”

The baby wriggles a bit before nuzzling against Laura’s neck.

“Cupcky!” she squeals.

Laura’s eyes widen. “Oh, crap.” She shifts the baby over a bit and notes the pale complexion and dark eyes. “Carm?”

  

* * *

 

 

LaFontaine bursts into the room and Carmilla, sitting in Laura’s lap on the floor, jumps.

“Oh, I just _had_ to see this,” they laugh, shifting Squeakers to one hand to hold their stomach. “Look at little Carmilla!”

Laura and Carmilla both glare at them.

“And now it’s even less intimidating when you two sync up, and all the more cute!” LaF cackles.

Carmilla lunges forward and Laura gently holds her back. “ _Down_ , Carm,” Laura giggles.

The baby reluctantly leans back and crosses her arms, scowling.

“Yikes. Infant Wednesday Addams, much?”

Baby Carmilla starts on a tirade, babbling angrily.

Laura and LaF smirk at her antics.

 

Perry walks in, looks at the odd baby who looks ready to lob an object at LaFontaine’s head, and clears her throat, intent on another objective.

“LaFontaine, would you please clean out your pet’s cage?” Perry huffs. “It is downright filthy.”

They wave their hand at her dismissively. “Alright, alright, later,” LaF answers vaguely.

Perry looks tired and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Can you at least help me make lunch? There are way too many stairs around here.”

LaF nods and walks towards Laura, placing Squeakers on the ground. “Keep an eye on her for me, yeah?”

Laura nods before she can feel the baby in her arms stiffen.

LaF and Perry leave and Squeakers slowly comes closer to Laura.

 

She reaches out and pets her, but Carmilla lets out a whimper.

“What’s the matter, Carm?”

Squeakers starts crawling over Carmilla’s little foot and Carmilla squeaks, withdrawing her foot and scaring the small rodent.

Laura stands and picks Carmilla up, placing her on the chaise and away from Squeakers.

Carmilla lets out a sigh of relief and Laura furrows her eyebrows together. “Carm, are you afraid of Squeakers?”

Carmilla nods hesitantly.

Laura’s eyes widen. “B-But you’ve never said anything before. I mean, you’ve never gone out of your way to pet her, but… And you even caught and rescued her that time on the Ferris wheel when she fell!”

Carmilla narrows her eyes at her, as if annoyed that Laura was missing the obvious answer.

 

“Oh.” Laura chuckles softly. “You did it for me, didn’t you?”

Carmilla nods again, shyly this time.

“Aw, you little softie,” Laura teases lightly, kissing Carmilla on the cheek.

There’s some incoherent grumbling from the small baby, but it eventually changes to giggling as Laura continues kissing Carmilla.

“Some giant black cat you are,” Laura jokes when she finally pulls away. “Scared of a small mouse.”

Squeakers, still crawling around on the floor, looks vaguely offended.

 

* * *

 

Danny knocks on the doorframe to get Laura’s attention and walks in.

“I heard about Carmilla,” she says with a large grin. “LaF used it as an excuse to get me free. Kirsch, unfortunately, got captured by Perry and is being forced to move some stuff around in the basement. And she’s still hounding LaF to clean Squeaker’s cage so they’re just down there with the mouse pissing Perry off. Naturally.”

“Naturally,” Laura laughs.

Danny looks around the room. “So where is she? I gotta see this.”

Laura gets up and leads Danny to the bedroom. Danny notices it before Laura and lets out a loud snort.

“Oh, _god_ , Hollis,” Danny cackles.

That’s when Laura sees it. Her eyes widen and she rushes over to check on Carmilla.

 

“Stupid baby,” Laura frets with a whine, rolling her over. “Can you even breathe like that?”

Carmilla blinks her eyes open slowly with a small yawn.

“You fell asleep _while_ rolling over and just slept on your face!” Laura says.

Carmilla gives her a dopey grin and Danny laughs even harder. “Lazy even as a baby.”

Laura and Danny watch as the baby nods proudly but sleepily, falling right back to sleep.

“Some things never change,” Laura grumbles.

 

Danny chuckles and sits down on a chair near the bed. Laura turns away from Carmilla with a roll of the eyes.

“How are you managing on your own?” Danny asks.

Laura shrugs. “As you can see, she’s a bit of a lazy little lump. Not really high maintenance.”

“Unlike someone else, who was quite an energetic handful as a baby,” Danny teases.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Laura insists, smirking. “Anyway, I’ve been calling Mattie. Not really coz I need her help or anything, but I thought she should know.”

“No response?”

“Nah,” Laura sighs. “The cell reception is still super spotty around there, and it’s not like I can really leave Carm alone. Plus, it’s not super important, y’know?”

Danny peers around Laura and stifles some laughter. “Uhm, Laur?” She points behind her. “She’s doing it again.”

 

Laura turns to see Carmilla has indeed started rolling over only to give up halfway through and settled for sleeping with her face pressed against the pillow.

“Argh!” Laura yells in frustration. “For the love of cookies, Carm, would you turn your fat head?”

 

* * *

 

Laura wakes up from her own nap and strolls out into the living room to find Kirsch and Danny playing nearby as Carmilla watches them from across the room. She sits next to Carmilla, who immediately brightens up and cuddles up against Laura’s side.

“How was your nap?” Danny asks as she and Kirsch walk over.

“Pretty good,” Laura replies, kissing the top of Carmilla’s head.

Kirsch chuckles. “Watch this,” he says. He holds up his hand in front of Carmilla. “Bro-baby, gimme a high five.”

Carmilla immediately leans forward and presses her face against Kirsch’s hand and giggles.

 

Laura almost melts on the spot.

Kirsch laughs and gestures again. “Give me another one! High five!”

Carmilla presses her face against Kirsch’s hand and squeals.

Laura’s almost in hysterics, clutching her stomach in laughter.

Carmilla sees Laura laughing and seems to have figured out the source of it, bringing her face forward again to create more laughter.

“I guess her baby brain isn’t quite processing what a high five is,” Kirsch surmises, still laughing.

 

Laura’s managed to regain her composure. “How was she otherwise?”

Danny shrugs. “Can’t complain. She was quiet the whole time.” She grins and lightly pinches Carmilla on the cheek. “Much easier to deal with than when she’s a finicky vampire, huh?”

Baby Carmilla swats at the offending hand.

Laura shifts a bit. “Uhm, Danny maybe you shouldn’t––”

“––Whoa, look like she’s feisty, after all,” Danny laughs, reaching forward and pinching again.

Carmilla narrows her eyes, reaching forward herself and pinching Danny in the arm as hard as she can.

 

“Ow!” Danny hisses. She pinches Carmilla again, this time also on the arm.

Carmilla huffs and pinches Danny in the leg.

“Oh, god,” Laura groans, unsure of what to do, looking at a laughing Kirsch for help.

Danny scowls and pinches Carmilla on the shoulder, while Carmilla pinches her on the other leg.

Laura finally has enough and whisks Carmilla away.

“Cupcky, _no_!” Carmilla is trying to squirm out of Laura’s hold to assert her dominance, but Laura is prepared and manages to get Carmilla into the bedroom.

“No more pinching!” Laura snaps.

 

“Yeah, _Karnstein_ ,” Danny sneers playfully.

Carmilla looks like she’s about to say something, but Laura glares at Danny.

“ _You started it_!” Laura shouts.

Carmilla closes her mouth and beams at Laura for defending her.

Danny rolls her eyes. “Favoritism,” she grumbles.

 

* * *

 

“I cannot believe I am sitting here reading Goethe’s _Theory of Colours_ to an infant,” Laura groans. She looks over and sees an intense, concentrating, and focused look on Carmilla’s face. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather me read, like, _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_ , or something?”

Carmilla shakes her head and pats at the book’s pages, insisting for Laura to continue.

“Okay,” Laura says, trying to find where she left off. “ _Light and darkness, brightness and obscurity, or if a more general expression is preferred, light and its absence, are necessary to the production of color…_ ”

 

A little while goes by and she can feel the baby pressed against her start to droop. Laura glances down and sees Carmilla’s eyelids growing heavy.

“Hey,” she says softly, chuckling when she sees the tiny body jerk bolt upright, suddenly at attention. “How about we go to sleep?”

Carmilla yawns and nods, tipping over and snuggling up in Laura’s lap.

“Not _on me_ , silly,” Laura giggles.

She manages to pick Carmilla up and carries her to their bed, tucking her in. Laura places the book on their nightstand and starts to get in too when Carmilla grabs Laura’s hand and shakes her head.

“Uhm, do you not want me to sleep in the bed with you?” Laura asks.

Carmilla pouts and seems frustrated that she can’t articulate what she wants.

“What is it?” Laura asks, gently and sweetly.

 

Carmilla huffs and crawls to the nightstand, patting the book.

Laura furrows her eyebrows together, but picks it up and places it on the bed.

Carmilla manages to open it and starts flipping. She finally gets to a certain page and pats it with certainty.

Laura looks down and reads the spot she’s gesturing to. “ _In its highest purity it always carries with it the nature of brightness, and has a serene, gay, softly exciting character._ ” She scans to see what it’s referring to. “The color yellow,” Laura mumbles to herself, looking back to Carmilla.

She nods eagerly, waiting to see if Laura understands her intentions yet.

“Yellow…” Laura’s eyes light up. “Oh! The yellow pillow?”

Carmilla nods and beams up at Laura, who walks out of the room and returns shortly after.

 

“It’s a little lumpy,” she warns. “I guess using it in a pillow fight against Danny will do that.” She fluffs it a bit and places it on the bed, climbing up and setting it between them by the headboard. Laura places Carmilla next to her so they’re sharing the yellow pillow.

“Let’s make a deal,” Laura says around a yawn. “I’ll try not to have any creepy nightmares about giant black clouds, and you don’t suffocate yourself by sleeping on your lazy little adorable face. Okay?”

Baby Carmilla nods seriously and shuffles closer to Laura so their fronts are pressed together.

Laura wraps her arm over Carmilla and pats her on the back.

“Good night, Carm.”

“G’night, cupcky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Carmilla falling asleep on her face was inspired by my brother. I swear, the kid had such a fat head that I remember my grandma and I having to sit by his crib when he napped to make sure he didn't suffocate LOL  
> And the high-fiving with her face was inspired by my cousin's kid. They took a video of them asking her for a high five and she just totally mushed her face against their hand haha.  
> Feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) :D  
> Updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome <3


	40. The Cupcake and the Snot-Nosed Brat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In spite of the fact that Carmilla has also been turned into a small child, Laura shows absolutely no mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI STRANGERS. Thought I forgot about y'all, didn't you? Well, I didn't. There's a longer explanation [here](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/post/141640180707/when-do-you-think-youll-be-updating-childcare) regarding that super long absence, but long story short-- I'm working on my senior thesis and on getting published.  
> But I noticed a relatively larger amount of negativity on my dashboard tonight (both Carmilla-related and from the fallout of _The 100_ and _The Vampire Diaries_ ) so I put a rush on this chapter. Sorry if it's not on par with the usual material. Just wanted to try and cheer someone up with it :)  
> This chapter should be set between chapters [24](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/chapters/11135750) and [33](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/chapters/12208835).  
> Enjoy!

Danny opens the door to the apartment and hovers in the doorway, listening for any voices or movement. “Guys? Is anyone h––”

A hand clamps over her mouth and Perry is pushed up against her, eyes wide in panic as she frantically shakes her head.

“Shh,” LaFontaine shushes, their expression mirroring Perry’s. “We don’t want them to hear us.”

Danny nods and lowers her voice as Perry removes her hand. “Who?”

“Carmilla and Laura,” Perry whispers. “They’re––”

 

“You are impossible!” Laura’s voice echoes through the upper floor.

“ _Me_?” another voice squeaks. “You’re the one who hit me with the yellow pillow while I was sleeping!”

“Because you had rolled over on top of me and were drooling all over me!” Laura yells back.

 

“Who is that?” Danny asks, more confused than ever.

“Carmilla and Laura,” Perry repeats.

Danny furrows her eyebrows together. “Why does Fangface sound so––”

“Ow! Carm, stop it!” Laura yelps, her footsteps rapidly approaching the staircase as she comes running down it. “Stop throwing pillows at me!”

Another set of small footsteps follows after her as a small, dark-haired paler girl chases after Laura.

“ _Wait_ ,” Danny gasps. “I-Is that…?”

“A fun-sized Carmilla Karnstein? Yeah,” LaF replies. “Well, light on the ‘fun’ part.”

“Can it, ginger nerd,” the small girl snaps, pivoting away from the fleeing Laura with a scowl.

 

“Ooh, yeah, I’d know that look anywhere,” Danny comments, earning a glare. “How’d this happen?”

Carmilla crosses her arms and grumbles incoherently.

LaFontaine shifts back and forth with a sheepish grin as Perry huffs at them. “I brought back a sample from the Alchemy club and left it on the kitchen counter. Forgot to label it and, ah…”

When they trail off, Danny looks expectantly at Carmilla.

“I thought it was grape soda,” she mutters.

Danny tries and fails to contain her laughter and is soon holding herself up by the doorknob, gripping her stomach.

“It’s not funny,” Carmilla growls.

“I dunno, Carm, it’s _pretty_ funny,” Laura comments, returning from the safety of the next room.

Danny is still laughing and wiping tears from her eyes.

 

“Why are you here, anyway?” Carmilla snaps, narrowing her eyes at Laura, and then at Danny.

Danny clears her throat after the rest of her laughter subsides and takes a deep breath. “The Summer society found a bunch of inflatable rides and stuff in one of the storage units off campus,” she explains. “I came to invite you guys to hang out in the quad.”

“We don’t want to go on your dumb rides, red,” Carmilla scoffs as she crosses her arms.

Laura pouts at her and shakes her head. “I wanna go!”

“Well, I _don’t_ wanna,” Carmilla huffs.

“But _I_ wanna,” Laura whines.

 

“Oh, gosh,” Perry sighs, tugging LaFontaine out by the arm past Danny. “This is gonna go on for a while.”

“I know!” Danny cackles, clearly not intent on leaving.

 

“I don’t wanna!” Carmilla scowls.

“I wanna!” Laura growls, stomping her foot.

Carmilla stomps her foot mockingly. “ _I don’t wanna_ …”

  

* * *

 

 

“Told you this wouldn’t be stupid,” Laura says, playfully elbowing Carmilla.

“You’re stupid,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura giggles and pulls a reluctant Carmilla along, not pointing out that the dour girl is cracking a smile.

A few seconds pass as Carmilla’s expression soon entirely lightens up while Laura bounces along next to her. “So what do you want to do?”

“I dunno,” Laura replies simply, loosening her grip on Carmilla and bumping shoulders with her.

Carmilla whines. “You dragged me out here and now we’re just gonna do nothing?”

“I didn’t say that,” Laura says, rolling her eyes. “I said––” She lets out a gasp and points excitedly. “I know what I want to do!”

 

Carmilla’s eyes follow to where Laura’s pointing and cocks her head to the side. She thought Laura would want to do something like the bouncy castle, or the relay race. She wasn’t expecting this.

“Okay, sounds good to me,” Carmilla agrees, trailing behind a squealing Laura.

The line for the ride is relatively short and soon they’re putting on padded helmets while standing on large inflated stumps and being handed large staffs with padding on the ends.

“Just whack each other until one of you falls into the inflated pit. Whenever you want to begin,” Mel states unceremoniously.

 

Laura adjusts her helmet and looks back up to find Carmilla staring at her with a warm look and a goofy grin.

“What?” Laura asks with a chuckle.

Carmilla shrugs. “I-I don’t think I can do this,” she replies, giggling. “You look so… so cute!”

Laura gasps overdramatically. “Take that back, Karnstein!” She gestures with her staff. “I am a hard-bitten warrior!”

Carmilla breaks into a fit of giggles and Laura smirks at the sound. It seems so carefree and innocent, a rare side of Carmilla.

Which is why she decides to take full advantage of the vulnerable moment and swings her staff, knocking Carmilla clean off her stump and onto the squishy ground below with a yelp.

 

“You-You hit me!” Carmilla huffs, yanking her helmet off. “I wasn’t ready!”

Laura grins at her smugly and takes her own helmet off. “That’s what you get for letting your guard down, Carm,” she teases. “And for throwing pillows at me before.”

Carmilla crosses her arms and scowls. “You’re a meanie.”

“Just giving you a taste of your own medicine,” Laura says innocently. She giggles and leans over, giving Carmilla a peck on the cheek.

Carmilla’s scowl fades a bit. “Ya killin’ me Hollis,” she sighs. “You’re gonna kill me at the ripe old age of five.”

Laura laughs and Carmilla cracks a small smile.

 

Her phone rings and she answers the FaceTime request.

Mattie’s face appears on screen. “Who is this?” she demands immediately, her face scrunching up in confusion.

Laura giggles on the side and Carmilla shoots her a glare.

“It’s me, Mattie,” she insists.

Mattie rolls her eyes. “Yeah, ha, ha, very funny. Whichever ugly snot-nosed brat you are, please put my sister on the phone.”

Carmilla pouts. “Maaaaaattie,” she whines. “It’s _really me_.”

There’s a moment of hesitation. “Prove it,” Mattie scoffs.

Laura bursts into laughter and elbows Carmilla. “She called you _ugly_.”

“Shut _up_ , cupcake,” Carmilla snaps. She turns her attention back to the screen. “Our first massacre was in a church. You were mad because they wouldn’t let you walk off with this stained glass window and we painted the whole building red,” the small girl answers fondly.

 

Laura gapes at her before letting out a retching sound. “Yucky,” she grumbles.

Mattie seems amused and nods, satisfied. “Well, well, Carm. How ever did you manage this one?”

Carmilla lets out a small sigh. “I chugged what I thought was grape soda, when it was actually––”

Laura sticks her face in front of the screen. “––SHE DRANK A SOIL SAMPLE!” she blurts out, breaking into hysterical laughter before Carmilla pushes her away.

Mattie is chewing her lip, clearly suppressing her own laughter.

Carmilla pouts and furrows her eyebrows together.

“Ah, darling, can I talk to the tiny crumpet alone?” Mattie asks Carmilla, who huffs and hands Laura the phone before stomping away.

 

Laura takes the phone and wipes some stray tears from her eyes. “What’s up, Mattie?”

“Cut it out,” Mattie snaps.

Laura’s eyes widen. “Huh?”

“Look, I think you know Carm by now. She acts like she’s above emotions, but deep down inside, she feels more than any of us,” Mattie states. “And now that she is a child, I’m sure she’s feeling even more. So stop teasing her.”

Laura stares at the screen for a few seconds in shocked silence. Then she bunches up her face and shakes her head.

 

“Nuh uh.”

“Pardon?” Mattie asks flatly.

Laura lets out an exasperated sigh. “You treat Carm like a baby. You always have. You talk to her like she’s a drooling infant who can’t make her own choices.”

“Considering one major choice landed her in a coffin and the other was _you––_ ”

“––Those are two choices in four centuries worth of choices,” Laura interrupts. “Carmilla may be more sensitive now than ever, but she is her own person who can choose what she wants. And if she wants me to stop bothering her, she can tell me herself. Without you butting in, you-you- you… fathead!”

Laura storms over to Carmilla and hands her the phone, walking away without another word.

 

Carmilla blinks at her retreating form before looking at the screen, confused. “What the frilly heck just happened, Mattie?”

“You’ve gotta put a leash or a muzzle on that child, Carmilla,” Mattie sneers.

“ _What happened_?”

Mattie scoffs and rolls her eyes. “I simply told her to stop teasing you because you’re all sensitive. And she had the audacity to say if you wanted her to stop teasing you, you can tell her yourself.”

Carmilla hesitates before softly stammering, “Sh-She’s right.”

“What?” Mattie asks, taken aback.

“I like her teasing me and not treating me like a baby,” Carmilla admits quietly. “I like her kicking my ass at inflatable games and making fun of me. It makes me feel… normal. Like any regular girl.”

 

There’s a moment of silence. Mattie finally presses her lips together a thin line before nodding. “Okay, my adorable monster. I understand.”

“But thank you for trying to look out for me,” Carmilla adds quickly. “I appreciate it.”

Mattie throws her head back in a laugh. “Anything for my little monster.”

Carmilla gives her a small smile.

Laura slowly wanders back over and pokes her in the arm, pointedly ignoring Mattie on the screen. “Carm, they’re about to set up the bouncy castle!”

Carmilla’s face lights up further and she gives an excited nod. “Okay, wait for me!”

Laura giggles and starts to walk away.

 

“Oh, Miss Hollis?” Mattie calls.

Laura takes a deep breath. “Yes?”

“You can be expecting a private conversation with me soon.”

Laura gives her a confused stink eye and shrugs. “Uh, okay?”

“Guess I should get going.” Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together. “Hey, Mattie?”

“Yes?”

“…Do you really think I’m ugly?”

Mattie laughs heartily again. “Oh, _Carm_.” She hangs up and Carmilla stares at the blank screen before pocketing her phone.

 

“She didn’t answer me,” Carmilla whines.

Laura giggles. “Oh, please. You couldn’t be ugly in a million, bajillion years.” She playfully elbows her. “No matter how much dirt you drink.”

 

* * *

 

Laura yawns as she hops into bed next to Carmilla. “I cannot believe you launched me out of the bouncy house,” she grumbles.

“You’re so aerodynamic, cupcake,” Carmilla giggles, turning off the light and settling in. “You had great hang time.”

“You can’t call me a cupcake,” Laura huffs sleepily. “You’re a cupcake, too.”

“We’re both cupcakes,” Carmilla states, suppressing a yawn.

Laura mumbles something before tucking herself against Carmilla’s side, her breathing soon turning into quiet snoring.

Carmilla giggles softly before soon falling asleep, too.

 

A couple hours later, Laura’s woken up from Carmilla tossing and turning. She cracks her eyes open and watches as Carmilla lets out some groans and her movements become more spastic.

“Hey, Carm,” Laura whispers. “It’s just a dream. Wake up.”

Carmilla’s noises slowly become screams. Laura’s eyes widen and she goes to shake Carmilla awake, but Carmilla's arm flies out and hits her square in the jaw. Before Laura can react, the other arm swings over and hits her in the nose.

“Ow! Mother hubbard!” Laura yelps.

Carmilla’s eyes snap open and she’s breathing heavily, trying to focus on where she is.

 

“Carm, hey,” Laura says soothingly and softly, carefully touching her shoulder. “It was just a nightmare. You’re okay.”

Carmilla sniffles and buries her face in Laura’s chest, letting out some small sobs.

Laura holds her for a while, hugging her tight.

Eventually, Carmilla’s breathing slows and she pulls away.

“Better?” Laura asks.

Carmilla frowns and shrugs. She finally focuses on Laura’s face and gasps. “You’re bleeding! And bruised!”

Laura chuckles and kisses Carmilla on the cheek. “Little Karnstein hits hard, apparently.”

“I’m sorry,” Carmilla says, her voice cracking.

“Don’t worry about it,” Laura says, hopping off the bed.

 

“Wait! Where are you going?” Carmilla yells.

“I’m just getting myself some ice and getting you some hot cocoa,” Laura replies gently.

Carmilla shakes her head and rolls off the bed, too. “I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

Laura nods and holds her hand out for Carmilla to take. They slowly walk to the kitchen. Within a few minutes, they’re both sipping hot cocoa and Laura’s holding an ice pack to her face.

“Feel better now?” Laura asks.

“Kinda, I guess,” Carmilla says softly.

“Yeah, I mean… I guess it doesn’t taste as good as soil samples,” Laura says, smirking.

“Oh, haha, laugh it up, cutie,” Carmilla says with a playful glare, tossing the empty hot chocolate packet at her.

 

Laura giggles, gets off her stool, and pats Carmilla’s shoulder, gesturing for her to follow. They go back to the bedroom and Carmilla sits on the bed, cradling both of their mugs.

“I’ll be right back,” Laura says, hurrying off.

 

Carmilla sits uneasily until Laura returns, brandishing the yellow pillow, crumpled and forgotten in the hallway during the day. She puts it at the head of the bed and edges it towards Carmilla’s side of the bed.

 

“There. Now, we finish our cocoa, and let the pillow work its magic on your nightmares.”

“What about your face?” Carmilla frets.

Laura shrugs. “I’m so cute that it’ll just fix itself by the morning.”

“Wow. Modest.”

“You can only be called ‘cutie’ so many times before it goes to your head, Carm,” Laura says with a grin.

“Are you going to hit me with the yellow pillow again?” Carmilla teases.

Laura giggles. “Not even if you roll on top of me and drool on me,” she promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> The staff scene was based off of my best friend and me-- she was too busy giggling over how 'cute' I looked that she was unprepared for my attack and I knocked her clean off her base :P  
> The story is now also on [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/59283662-childcare).  
> Feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> Updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome! <3


	41. Kiss On My List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Laura finds out that Carmilla misses kissing her, she tries her best to give her vampire chances to do so. And then an opportunity comes by that's too good to pass up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK~  
> So. I know it's been almost two months of radio silence. But, uhm, would it be a good enough reason if I say that in the past two months, I successfully defended my senior design and senior thesis projects, got a good full-time job after graduation, and graduated from undergrad as a chemical engineer with a minor in business management?  
> No?  
> Then please accept this fluffy update as penance :P  
> Enjoy!

Laura walks into the room to find Carmilla lounging on a couch, book in hand.

“Hey, Carm,” Laura greets brightly, plopping down on the cushion not being occupied.

“Hi,” Carmilla grumbles, not looking up and flipping a page.

Laura frowns at the lack of warmth but shrugs it off, pulling out her new cell phone. “So, Danny and I are having a competition over who can get more steps in a day on the Fitbit app and I was wondering if you could help me out?”

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow. “You want me to help you cheat?”

Laura grins sheepishly. “I wouldn’t call it _cheating_ , I would call it ‘vampiric assistance.’”

“Call it what you want,” Carmilla sighs, “I’m not doing it.”

Laura bunches up her face. “Okay, Karnstein, what gives? What’s with the grump?”

“It’s nothing,” Carmilla mumbles.

 

Laura’s frown deepens and she turns sideways, taking the book and tossing it behind her before kneeling on Carmilla’s lap. “I’m not moving until you tell me.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and picks Laura up, putting her back in her original seat.

“Ow! You put me on top of the book,” Laura whines.

“Well, whose fault is that?” Carmilla scoffs playfully, a small smile appearing. “Get off of it, that’s a first edition.”

Laura pouts and stands up, taking the book and tossing it at her. “You care more about your books than me,” she growls, starting to walk away.

 

“Wait, wait,” Carmilla says, tugging Laura gently by the arm so Laura’s facing her again. “I’m sorry.”

Laura huffs. “Well? What’s the matter?”

Carmilla shifts uncomfortably in her seat and shrugs. “I-I… I miss kissing you.”

Laura cocks her head to the side, confused. “You gave me a kiss when you got out of bed and I brought you your cup of blood.”

“Yeah... On the cheek. And last night it was on the head.” Carmilla throws her hands up in exasperation. “Every time we’ve kissed since you got turned into a child, it’s been some stupid innocent little peck, and I miss _kissing_ you.”

Laura wrings her hands together, chewing her lip. “So… you’re saying you want to make out right now?”

Carmilla gives Laura a playful smack and chuckles. “ _No_ , creampuff. I stand by saying it’s… weird when you’re like this. I’m just hoping this whole childcare thing blows over soon.”

Laura nods quietly and gives Carmilla a soft understanding pat before leaving the room.

A couple minutes later, Laura walks back in.

 

“Hold out your hand,” she instructs Carmilla, who does so. Laura drops a few pieces of candy into it.

“Uhm... Thanks, cupcake,” Carmilla says hesitantly. “Was there something on my face that said I was craving chocolate, or…?”

Laura giggles and shakes her head. “They’re kisses, silly. Hershey’s kisses.”

Carmilla chuckles softly and pulls Laura in for a kiss on the cheek. “You’re too much sometimes, cutie.”

“‘Sometimes?’” Laura grins, unwrapping a Hershey’s kiss for Carmilla. “I’d like to think I’m too much _all_ the time.”

 

* * *

 

“Carm?” Laura calls, poking her head into the room to find Carmilla napping on the chaise. “You awake?”

“No,” she replies grumpily.

Laura walks over and pokes Carmilla’s arm. “Ya sure? Coz you seem awake to me.”

“No,” Carmilla repeats.

“‘No,’ you’re not sure, or ‘no,’ you’re not awake?”

“No to everything,” Carmilla huffs.

Laura sighs and sits on the edge of the chaise. “Can you help me with something?”

 

Carmilla groans and cracks one eye open. “Is someone in danger?”

“No.”

“Will your life be ruined if I don’t help you?”

“No,” Laura replies. “Only my night will be ruined.”

“Then go get one of the gingers to help you,” Carmilla says through a yawn.

“But Perry’s the––” Laura cuts herself off with a shake of the head. “Fine,” she says dejectedly. “I know we probably tired you out today with the gang video game session here. G’night, Carm.”

Carmilla mumbles an incoherent reply and drifts back off to sleep.

 

She’s asleep for a few minutes before she hears a loud crash and Laura yelp. Her eyes snap open and she rushes towards the origin of the sound.

Carmilla’s quickly followed by Perry, who lets out a distressed groan.

“Laura, I told you not to eat cookies too late at night!” Perry lectures. She kneels in front of the shattered remains of the cookie jar, which had fallen off the top shelf of a cabinet.

“Sorry,” Laura says.

Perry clicks her tongue and shakes her head before looking at Laura. “Oh goodness–– _and_ your lip is bleeding.”

“The cookie jar fell on my face,” Laura explains miserably.

Laughter is heard from the doorway. “Did you try to cram the whole jar in your mouth?” LaFontaine asks.

Laura whines and pouts. “It’s throbbing.”

 

“Okay, I’ll sweep all of this up. LaFontaine, help me. Carmilla, take care of that foolish girl’s lip.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and takes Laura gently by the arm to the freezer, producing an ice pack. “Is this what you wanted help with?” she asks.

Laura nods and winces when the ice pack touches her lip.

“I hope it was worth it,” Carmilla sighs, frowning at the puffiness. “No cookie. Angry redhead cursing you politely behind me for making a mess. Other angry redhead cursing you for demolishing the cookie supply. Annoyed vampire missing out on sleep time.”

Laura gives a small shrug. “It, uh, doesn’t all have to be bad…”

“How so?” Carmilla asks, vaguely amused.

Laura points at her split lip. “Kiss my boo-boo?”

“Your ‘boo-boo?’” Carmilla chuckles.

Laura nods, very serious. “Kiss it now or forever hold your peace.”

“Fine, fine,” Carmilla says, removing the ice pack and giving the cut a small kiss. “Better?”

 

There’s a pained gasp from across the kitchen and they glance over to see LaFontaine holding up a bloody finger. “I cut it on a shard. Can I get a kiss on my boo-boo, too, vamp?”

Carmilla narrows her eyes. “Ask me that again and I’ll _give you a boo-boo._ ”

“I’m, ah, all good,” LaF insists.

“I’ll kiss it,” Perry says, giving it a quick peck and earning a goofy grin from LaF.

 

“Carm,” Laura says, tugging on Carmilla’s arm. “I’m not sure the first kiss did the trick.”

Carmilla grins and kisses the swollen lip again. “How about now?”

LaF nudges Perry. “FYI, your first kiss did the trick, so clearly yours are more effective than Carmilla’s.”

  

* * *

 

 

Carmilla yawns and stretches as she walks out of the kitchen, basically tripping over Laura, who’s sitting on the floor.

“Geez, Laura,” Carmilla grumbles, taking care not to fall on her. “Why are you just sitting in the middle of the floor on your phone?”

Laura looks up, giving her a half-smile. “Oh! Sorry, Carm. Danny just texted that she got roped into helping Mel out with something. Something about wrangling an escaped stag?”

Carmilla frowns at hearing Laura’s obvious disappointment. “You okay?”

Laura nods unconvincingly.

Carmilla sighs and sits down on the floor next to her, nudging her with her shoulder. “Laura…”

Laura pouts. “It-It’s just… We were gonna play more make-believe and I came up with a great idea and now we can’t try it out.”

 

Carmilla picks at the bottom of her shoe. “We can play the game,” she mumbles.

“What?” Laura asks.

“We can play the game. Us. If you want to,” Carmilla says quickly.

Laura lets out a squeal and throws her arms around Carmilla’s neck. “I’d love to!” She rushes to her feet. “I’ll go get it set up.”

“Ugh, what did I get myself into?” Carmilla grumbles, crossing her arms.

 

After a few minutes, Laura tugs on Carmilla’s arm to get her to stand. Carmilla stares down at her donning a frilly white dress and stifles a laugh.

“Uhm, nice outfit.”

Laura bunches up her face and huffs. “I’m a princess. Like Sleeping Beauty, only not.”

“How are you _not_ Sleeping Beauty?”

“ _Because_ I’m Laura!” she declares, crossing her arms. “Just because I’m playing pretend doesn’t mean I erase my own identity, Carm. Sheesh.”

Carmilla throws up her hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, _sorry_ , _not_ -Sleeping Beauty. Don’t get your garter belt in a bunch.”

 

Laura flashes her a grin and pulls her into the next room. “Okay, now you’re going to be my knight in shining armor.” She pulls out a looped chain of paperclips and hands it to Carmilla. “Here’s your chain mail.”

“Yikes, is the kingdom facing serious budget cuts?”

Laura narrows her eyes. “I’m starting to think you’re not taking this seriously enough, Carm.”

Carmilla presses her lips together, fighting back a smile as she puts on the ‘chain mail.’ “Sorry, not-Sleeping Beauty. Just some concerns about the wardrobe.”

Laura rolls her eyes. “Now we just need a prick.”

 

Perry walks in.

“Ah, you must be the prick,” Carmilla states.

“That’s not very nice, Carmilla,” Perry chides, looking offended. She holds out her hands to Laura, one with a sewing needle, and the other with a thimble.

“Uhh, Perry, I only asked for the needle.”

Perry hands them over and clicks her tongue. “Safety first, Laura,” she comments before leaving.

 

Laura shrugs and puts the thimble on. She places the needle on the table and turns to look back at Carmilla. “Psst. Leave the room now.”

Carmilla sighs and starts to walk away.

“Oh, but make sure you vamp-speed back in here to catch me when I fall!” Laura calls after her.

“I should just let you fall and crack your silly head open,” Carmilla grumbles.

“I heard that!”

“GOOD!” Carmilla shouts back.

 

A few seconds pass before she hears Laura declare, very pointedly, “Oh! No! I seem to have pricked my finger on this needle––”

Carmilla rushes in and catches Laura as she’s falling backwards, eyes closed. “I’ve got you, not-Sleeping Beauty, or NSB for short, because I’m a lazy knight,” she says, not missing the slight twitch of a smile on Laura’s lips.

Carmilla carries her over to the bed and puts her down.

“Ow, Carm, my hair is stuck in a paperclip,” Laura mutters out the side of her mouth.

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “This is a pretty crappy sleeping curse,” she grumbles, untangling Laura’s hair and rising. “Now, let’s see here. How ever am I supposed to wake this precious slumbering NSB?”

 

She reaches out and tickles Laura’s stomach.

“Perhaps some tickling?”

Laura giggles, but keeps her eyes closed.

“No?” Carmilla stands with her hands on her hips, looking pensive. She reaches over and swipes a cookie off a plate on the nightstand. “Maybe a cookie?” Carmilla waves it under Laura’s nose. When Laura doesn’t stir, she takes a bite out of the cookie. “Not that either? Well, I’m at a loss. Guess she’s stuck like this forever,” Carmilla pivots and starts to walk away, trying to ignore the giggling behind her.

“Kiss me, Carm,” Laura whispers.

Carmilla smirks and turns back around, kissing Laura on the cheek. “Alright, rise and shine, cutie.”

Laura cracks one eye open with a pout. “What kind of sleeping curse kiss is that? On the lips!”

Carmilla chuckles and leans back down, giving Laura a quick peck on the lips. “Better?”

Laura sits up and stretches with an exaggerated yawn. “Gee, golly, how long was I asleep?”

 

There’s a knock behind them and they turn to see LaF.

“Hey, Laur, your phone’s ringing. It’s Danny asking if she can come over to play today.”

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow and looks over at a sheepish Laura.

“Uhmmm, yeah tell her it’s fine,” Laura replies, her voice more high-pitched than usual.

LaF gives a nod and leaves the room.

“What happened to ‘helping out Mel?’” Carmilla asks sharply.

Laura shrugs. “I may have… lied about that…”

“Why?”

“I wanted you to play with me,” Laura answers, running a hand through her hair. “It was the only thing I could think of to get you to kiss me on the lips without it being weird.”

 

Carmilla gives her a small smile and sighs. “Ya killin’ me, Hollis.”

“Yeah,” Laura says with a giggle, “but I can always use true love’s kiss to bring you back.”

 

* * *

 

“Being a kid has its perks,” Carmilla says, settling herself on a swing. “But I’m not sure children’s playground activities necessarily have to be one of them.”

Laura giggles, waiting for little kid Carmilla to finish wriggling onto the seat before standing behind her. “I can’t believe you’ve never been on a swing before.”

Carmilla shrugs. “They weren’t really a thing until the 1800s,” she replies. “And by then I couldn’t really do childish things.”

“Guess that’s why you keep me around, huh?” Laura teases, giving Carmilla a small push. “Okay, now pump your legs back and forth like you’ve seen me do.”

Carmilla does so and Laura gives her a few more pushes to help with the momentum before settling into a seat adjacent to Carmilla’s.

Laura kicks herself off and soon they’re swinging side-by-side.

 

“That’s not why I keep you around, by the way,” Carmilla says after a couple minutes of silence.

Laura frowns at her. “Huh?”

Carmilla suddenly seems very shy. “What you said earlier. I don’t keep you around to do things I missed out on.”

“Oh!” Laura nods. “Yeah, I know.” She grins widely at Carmilla. “You keep me around for my sparkling personality!”

Carmilla scoffs and then laughs at the incredibly offended look Laura gives her.

 

“You wanna know another perk about you also being a kid?” Laura asks, smirking.

Carmilla thinks for a few seconds before asking, “What?”

Laura halts her swing and grabs Carmilla’s seat to gently slow her down so they’re both sitting stationary.

“This won’t be as weird anymore,” Laura whispers, leaning in and kissing Carmilla on the lips.

Carmilla is taken aback at first, but soon melts into it.

 

There’s a disgusted gasp nearby and they pull away to see a parent staring at them, horrified and judgmental while standing with her own child.

Laura pouts and starts to pull away, but Carmilla tugs her back in.

“Do you have a _fucking_ problem with this?” Carmilla demands from the parent.

The woman looks even more offended at the profanity and all but drags her kid away from them.

 

Laura bursts into laughter and pulls Carmilla back in for another kiss.

She eventually pulls away first, grinning at Carmilla. “Quite the perk, huh?”

Carmilla smirks. “Actually, I’d prefer a Hershey’s kiss right now,” she teases.

“Well, you’re in luck,” Laura giggles and takes one out of her pocket.

She unwraps it and places it between her teeth.

“Come and get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks [afl0resc](http://archiveofourown.org/users/afl0resc/pseuds/afl0resc) for the idea about using Carmilla as a child as a way to let her and Laura kiss  
> I know people have asked for me to address Carmilla's frustration with not being able to kiss Laura properly (most recently [Z](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4163019/comments/60219958)) so I figured I might as well combine the two requests :D As a reminder, this fic started out as a one-shot, and while clearly that's changed, that means there's a lot of logistics I didn't plan for in the beginning  
> The story is also now also on [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/59283662-childcare).  
> Feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> Updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome and thanks for reading! <3


	42. Everything Will Be Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Carmilla leaves Laura to go hang out with Mattie, Laura and her friends end up trapped with a vampire hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt inspired after watching _Stranger Things_ and wound up with this ridiculous chapter lmao. Enjoy!

“Are you sure you're gonna be okay without me?” Carmilla asks, eyebrows furrowed.

Laura nods and giggles. “Carm, I have been alone before, y’know?”

“But never when you were tiny.” Carmilla pauses before snickering. “Actually, I rest my case.”

Laura huffs and crosses her arms. “Meanie.”

Carmilla grins and presses a kiss to Laura's cheek. “Yeah, but you love it.”

“Do not,” Laura insists, sticking her tongue out.

Carmilla sighs and frowns, cocking her head to the side. “Sure you'll be okay?”

Laura nods. “Everyone's coming over so we can play together. It'll be fine!”

 

Carmilla still doesn't seem sure and her frown deepens.

“You'll just come back here and I'll be all,‘oh, Carm! I missed you so much! Turn into a panther and we can play fetch!’ And you'll be like, ‘no, cupcake, I'm darkness, I'm night, I don't just turn into a panther to play a child's game like fetch,’ and I'll be like, ‘please, Carm, please, _please_ , ple—”

“Okay,” Carmilla interrupts, relenting.

Laura tackles Carmilla in a hug. “And say hi to Mattie for me.”

Carmilla kisses the top of her head. “If you need anything at all, just call, okay? I'm sure I can blow off Mattie for our annual hangout if I have to.”

Laura nods and pulls away, watching Carmilla leave.

 

Danny pokes her head in and rolls her eyes. “Pfft. What's the worse that can happen?”

  

* * *

 

 

“Run!” Laura yells, herding everyone into the basement.

Perry is the last one in, whimpering. “I don't understand! One moment, we're playing tag, and the next…”

Danny and Mel close the door, and then gasp for air as they lean against it.

“Who _is_ that?” LaFontaine demands.

The door bangs with a hit to the other side and Laura rushes over to hold it with Danny and Mel.

 

“ _CARMILLA KARNSTEIN. WHERE IS SHE?”_ a man bellows through it.

Everyone stares at Laura as she struggles with a response. “We don't know who that is!” she yells back. “Leave now, please!”

There's a pause and for a moment, Laura thinks maybe he listened. That moment quickly ends with a cruel chuckle. “Nice try, kid. But I've been surveying the place for a while now, and I _know_ she was here at least up until this morning.” He pounds in the door again, making them all jump. “Now, _where is she?_ ”

Kirsch frowns. “M-Maybe he just wants to talk to her?”

Danny rolls her eyes and smacks him. “Yeah, I'm sure he broke down our front door and is trying to get in here just to ask her how her day’s going.”

 

“Does anyone have their cell phone?” Perry asks.

Slowly, they all shake their heads. “Can't fit mine into my kid pockets,” Mel sighs, while everyone agrees.

“Oh, gosh darn fish sticks,” Perry groans.

There's some more large thuds, more indicative that the man is now tackling the door to break it down. It begins to buckle.

“We need to get out of here,” Laura surmises, and Danny nods.

“Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Hollis?”

“I think so.” Laura gestures at Kirsch, LaF, and Perry to stand to the left of the door.

Danny pokes Mel, who seems confused at what the plan is. “We back away from the door on the count of three,” Danny explains.

Laura holds up her fingers. “One… Two…”

At the same time, the three girls dart away from the door to the left, and with one final attempt, the man breaks down the door and flies into the room, stumbling onto the floor.

 

“GO!” Laura yells, waiting for everyone to run out before she kicks the guy in the face as hard as she can and following her friends.

The group runs to the front door, with Kirsch leading the charge. He runs right to it, and then slams into an invisible force and falls backwards.

“What the—” Mel huffs and places her hand against it. “Are we stuck in here?”

 

* * *

 

Mattie and Carmilla clink glasses before taking a sip and smiling. “There. Now, isn't this better than baby-sitting Laura and her band of goonies?”

Carmilla chuckles and takes another sip.

Mattie observes Carmilla for a few seconds before she groans. “Oh, _God_. You sap.”

“What?” Carmilla asks, confused.

“You miss her already, don't you?”

Carmilla blushes and stammers. Mattie groans again and swats at her. “It's only been a few hours!”

“I-I just have a bad feeling,” Carmilla mutters. “I'm sure if I just call her and see that everything is okay—”

Mattie rolls her eyes. “Take out your phone.”

Carmilla does it, but as she starts to unlock it, Mattie swipes it and throws it against the wall, smirking as it shatters.

“Th-That was a new phone!” Carmilla yells.

Mattie waves her hand dismissively. “I'll buy you a new one. But only if you stay here.”

Carmilla crosses her arms.

“Carm. That tiny garbanzo bean survived going up against our mother. She survived going up against _a god_. I'm sure she's fine, even in her stunted state.”

Carmilla chews her lip. “I guess…” She swats Mattie back. “But you didn't have to break my phone.”

  

* * *

 

 

“Well? Is she answering?” Perry demands quietly as the group hides in the foyer.

Laura shakes her head. “Voicemail.” She balls her hands into fists. “Carmilla Karnstein, I know I said you could go have your day with Mattie, but there's a bad guy here and he's looking for you and it's just a bunch of panicking kids stuck in this apartment so I really, _really_ need you to pick up your phone, okay?” She pauses and hangs up, looking at her friends helplessly.

“Now what?” Mel sighs.

 

“Okay, okay, we can't keep running and hiding if we're stuck in here,” Laura reasons. “We have to fight back.”

LaF’s eyes widen as they smirk. “Oh, we can fight back.”

Perry raises an eyebrow. “We can?”

“I, uhm, may have been tinkering with building some weapons when I'm bored at night,” LaF mumbles, flashing a sheepish grin.

“Where are the weapons?” Perry asks. “I haven't seen any—” The realization hits her and she groans. “You've been keeping them in the one room I refuse to touch.”

LaF laughs nervously. “You'd be surprised at how good Squeakers is at keeping lookout over a bunch of pointy objects.”

 

Laura giggles as she pulls out her phone in an attempt for a last-ditch effort for help. “So what I'm thinking is, LaF brings everyone up to the weapons. Someone stays here and creates a distraction.”

“What kind of distraction?” Danny asks.

Laura shrugs, pocketing her phone and looking around the room for help, but no one seems to have any ideas.

 

“Bro, I could really use a snack right about now,” Kirsch sighs.

Mel lets out a frustrated yell. “Now is _not_ the time for your bottomless pit of a stomach, you—”

“Wait, that's it,” Laura interrupts.

“Y-You want us to eat him?” Kirsch whimpers.

Danny rolls her eyes and hits his arm.

“No, Kirsch,” Laura says sweetly. “We distract him in the kitchen. It's got enough things to throw at him.”

Kirsch makes a small “oh” with his mouth.

 

“So who's gonna be the distraction?” Perry asks.

“I can go,” Mel volunteers. “I've got the best throwing arm.”

“But I run the fastest,” Kirsch asserts.

Danny crosses her arms. “I'm the tiniest and can hide the best. It should be me.”

“I mean, I know where everything is placed in the kitchen, so I guess I'm the most logical choice…” Perry mumbles.

Laura groans. “Guys, we can't _all_ be the distraction!”

 

The basement door bangs open from below them all they all jump.

“Forget it!” Laura squeaks. “Everyone run!”

They all clamber upstairs as the footsteps rapidly thud towards them. Laura's the last one out and yelps when she looks over her shoulder and he's right behind her.

He reaches out and grabs her by the ankle. Laura lets out a scream as she falls forward. She quickly rolls over and kicks him in the face as hard as she can.

 

“Laura!” Danny yells, pausing.

“It's me! I'll do it!” Laura shouts back, hoping Danny gets that she wants to be the distraction. Danny gives a pointed nod and runs off with the others.

Laura pushes herself up and turns back, seeing the guy also rise.

She runs into the kitchen and makes sure he follows her. “Where are your friends, cupcake?” he sneers.

Laura growls. “Only Carmilla can call me that!” She puts down her broken phone. “And she's gonna kill you for breaking my new phone!”

“Well, tell me where she is so I can fulfill this contract and I'll be on my way,” he replies.

 

“Contract?” Laura asks.

He rolls his eyes. “Someone asked me to take out all of Lilita Morgan’s children. Carmilla was next on the list.” He shrugs. “Nothing personal.”

“It is to me!” Laura yells. She runs to the nearest drawer and rummages through it, throwing a handful of spoons at him. She run to the next drawer and groans as she lobs a bunch of straws at him. “Perry! Where are the kni—”

“ _Third drawer from the left!_ ” Perry calls from upstairs.

 

“Oh, to Hell with this,” he growls, pivoting and heading up the stairs.

“No!” Laura runs after him, grabbing the first thing she sees on her way out. She cradles a stack of plates and throws them at him. One misses and doesn't even make it near him, the next shatters next to his head.

“ _That better not be the nice ones we got from that thrift store_!” Perry shouts.

Laura rolls her eyes and throws another one. This one connects with the back of his head as he reaches the top of the stairs. He grunts and trips, slipping down the stairs and rolling to the bottom.

Laura approaches him slowly and pokes at his head with her foot to make sure he is unconscious before stepping over him and running upstairs.

 

“Did you stab him with a knife?” Mel asks.

Laura stares at her. “We're not killing him!”

Mel shrugs and throws her hands up in annoyance while Laura looks around the room at their arsenal.

Kirsch is carrying what looks like the offspring of a baseball bat and a hockey stick. Danny has a gardening hoe strapped to half a gardening shear. Mel wields the other half, attached to a pitchfork. Perry has a contraption of a bunch of cables attached to an eggbeater. LaF brandishes a sprayer with a bottle marked as chemically hazardous.

“We-We just have to hold him off until Carm comes back,” Laura says weakly.

“And if that doesn't happen soon?” Mel asks.

 

* * *

 

“Do you remember when we went to that concert in New York City, and we were like, ‘hey, doesn’t Bon Jovi look familiar,’ and then we realized—” Mattie's voice trails off as she realizes Carmilla isn't listening to her. She clears her throat. “And we realized Laura is actually a big dragon stuffed into a tiny potato of a body?”

Carmilla snaps back to attention at hearing Laura's name. “Huh?”

“For the love of beelzebub, Carm, where is your mind at?”

Carmilla pouts and Mattie scoffs. She reaches into her bag with a sigh and produces her cell phone, handing it to Carmilla.

“Call her. If it'll put your silly mind at ease, just please call her.”

Carmilla offers her a grateful smile and takes it. She calls Laura's number and waits. Her eyebrows furrow together.

“It went straight to voicemail.”

“See?” Mattie takes the phone back. “She's probably having so much fun, she doesn't even have time to talk. So, relax.”

Carmilla frowns. “But—”

“ _Relax_.”

 

* * *

 

“LAFONTAINE I DON’T THINK THE ACID IS WORKING!” Perry yells as they flee from the vampire hunter.

LaF huffs, throwing the sprayer at him on the stairs before following the others back into the foyer. “That guy gives a whole new meaning to ‘dressing basic,’” they groan.

Laura runs a hand through her hair. “Okay, okay. We need a new plan.”

Kirsch raises his hand. “What can I do?”

 

“Barricade the door,” Laura replies.

Kirsch cocks his head to the side, confused. “We don't have a bear.”

Danny drops her head into her hands and lets out a groan. “No, you idiot! She means, block the door with stuff.”

“Oh!” He runs across the room.

And he grabs a pillow and leans it against the door.

 

“Agh, no, Kirsch! Block it with _heavy_ stu—” Laura cuts herself off and takes a deep, calming breath. “Never mind. I'll do it.”

Danny tugs him aside and he apologizes quietly.

Laura and Mel grab a dresser and shimmy it over, but as Laura gets it to the door, it flies open and knocks her into the wall, leaving her unconscious.

“Laura!” Perry screams, pulled back by LaF when she charges to check on her.

Mel grabs her pitchfork and points it at the hunter.

He rolls his eyes and easily grabs it from her. “What is wrong with you kids that you're running around with all these dangerous weapons?” he sighs.

 

There's a blur of motion as he goes flying across the room.

Suddenly, Carmilla is standing in the room and she looks around her. Her eyes fly to Laura's crumpled form on the ground. “Check on her,” she growls.

Danny scrambles over as Laura's eyes snap open.

“Carm?”

 

The vampire hunter springs to his feet and laughs cruelly. “The great Carmilla Karnstein is running a boarding house?”

She rolls her eyes and snarls. “Still selling yourself to the highest bidder, huh? There was a time you were working with me, was there not?”

He shrugs. “And then you guys stopped paying me. It's just business.” Without hesitating, he whips out a gun and fires off a few bullets.

Carmilla feigns to the right and then darts to the left.

 

Laura's eyes widen. “Everyone out!” she commands, not wanting her friends to be something on Carmilla's mind as she faces off against this adversary.

The kids run out and Carmilla whirls to face Laura. “You too, cutie.”

Laura nods and follows them out, but stops short in the hallway.

“You can't do anything for her, L,” LaFontaine reasons.

Laura peers back into the room to find the vampire hunter on top of Carmilla, the gun tossed aside as he has a stake pointed at her heart.

 

Laura runs back in and picks up a book lying around and hurls it at his head. It hits him with a _thud_ and he growls. He throws the stake at Laura, and she barely manages to dodge it, diving as it scrapes by her with a scratch.

He reaches into his pocket to produce another, but Carmilla takes advantage of his pause and propels him off her. He lands a few feet away and Carmilla rolls off the floor.

The vampire hunter is quick to recover and seems ready to make his next move.

Laura scans the room and spots half of a gardening shear. She edges towards it.

 

“Kid, this is your last chance to leave,” he growls. “You're not a part of the deal, but I'm not above collateral damage, either.”

Laura gulps before looking over to Carmilla. She needs to act fast.

“Hey, Carm? Remember how before I said when you come back we could play?”

Carmilla and the vampire hunter both stare at Laura, bewildered. Then, realization dawns on Carmilla as she smirks.

Laura grins back and snatches the gardening shear. “FETCH!”

She throws it and Carmilla catches it with ease, driving it into the hunter in one fluid motion.

He falls to the ground and Laura winces. “So much for not killing him…”

Carmilla drops the weapon and rushes to Laura's side. “Are you okay?”

 

Laura nods, burying her face in a hug with a small whimper.

Carmilla pulls her in tighter and lets out a relieved sigh.

“How'd you know to come?” Laura asks, muffled.

Carmilla chuckles. “I was checking your Twitter and you tweeted, ‘ _tfw a crazy vampire hunter is after you looking for @heycarmilla and she's not answering her phone @heycarmilla @heycarmilla @heycarmilla_.’”

Laura pulls away and giggles.

 

Mattie appears in the room, already looking miffed. She looks around the room with a bored, disinterested expression. “See? I told you everything was fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> The story is now also on [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/59283662-childcare).  
> Feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> Updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome! <3


	43. Feels Like the Furst Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang looks after Laura and Carmilla after another mishap turns everything a little fuzzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't think I forgot about this crack fic, did ya?  
> *throwing fluff at everyone* Carmilla movie CARMILLA MOVIE

“Help! Help! LaFontaine’s leaving cheese all over the place to time how fast Squeakers can find––” Perry runs into Laura and Carmilla’s room, looking for reinforcements, except the room is empty. “Guys?”

The bed is made, no one is in the shower or anywhere to be seen on any chairs. She and LaFontaine hadn’t heard anyone leave all day.

“Hello?” Perry asks, slowly backing out of the room.

There’s a small pitter-patter and Perry frowns. _That sounds like_ …

 

A small puppy scampers out from under the bed, running full speed into Perry’s legs with a _thump_. It teeters backwards, dazed by the impact, before barking happily with enthusiasm.

“Oh, my gosh,” Perry chuckles, reaching down to pet the small Labrador retriever. “How did you get in here? And where’s your owner?”

It licks at her face before dashing out of the room.

Perry gets up to follow it, only to stop short when she sees that in her haste to run into the bedroom, she’d somehow missed a small black kitten sprawled out on the floor, basking in the sunlight.

“What the––” Perry scoffs. “Did we open a veterinary practice without my knowing?”

 

The puppy runs up to the kitten and nuzzles it, clearly trying to get it up to play. The kitten simply rolls over with an annoyed grunt, going right back to sleep.

Seemingly unbothered, the lab runs back to Perry, leaping off the ground a few times before sitting down and wagging its tail.

 

Footsteps approach the room and Danny enters with LaFontaine.

“Oh. My. God.” Danny’s mouth drops open. “Laura?”

“Where?” Perry asks, petting the puppy.

Danny bursts out laughing and doubles over.

“Uhm, so… Per. The Alchemy club called. They’d asked Carmilla and Laura to go over last night to help in their trial to see if they found the cure for our… Children-ness,” LaF explains carefully. “They just called to say they appear to have mixed up the vials and… they drank something from another experiment.”

Perry’s eyes widen. “Oh no! Are they sick? In the hospital? We should visit them.”

“You already _are_ ,” Danny blurts out, still clutching her stomach in laughter.

 

Perry furrows her eyebrows together. “I don’t understand?”

LaF lets out an amused snort and points at the small dog bouncing in front of Perry. “That’s Laura.” They gesture at the slumbering kitten across the room. “And that’s Carmilla.”

 

Perry stares at them. “Oh…?”

Puppy-Laura lets out a confirmation bark and runs over to Kitten-Carmilla, pouncing on her. Kitten-Carmilla lets out a startled mew and stretches in a yawn before gently patting Puppy-Laura’s head.

Perry buries her face in her hands. “ _Oh_.”

 

* * *

  

“This is gross,” Danny groans.

“ _So_ gross,” LaF agrees.

Perry walks in with two bowls and a bag. “What is?”

Her eyes follow to where Danny and LaF are looking and she has to agree.

Kitten-Carmilla is licking Puppy-Laura’s side, while Puppy-Laura is licking at Kitten-Carmilla’s paw. Clearly the former is trying to clean the latter, but Puppy-Laura seems content copying Kitten-Carmilla all the same.

 

“They’ve been going at it for like, half an hour,” LaF says, wrinkling up their nose in disgust.

Kitten-Carmilla pauses, giving a small hacking cough. Puppy-Laura stops and looks down at her in concern.

“Oh, god. Hairballs are imminent,” Danny sighs.

Perry shudders at the thought. “Well, in the meantime, here’s some kibble and some Fancy Feast,” she says, putting out the food in bowls.

Puppy-Laura perks up, jumping to attention and nudging to push Carmilla along the floor and across the room until they reach the food. Perry chuckles at the sight as she pours water into a third bowl.

 

Puppy-Laura sticks her face into her bowl immediately, whereas Kitten-Carmilla narrows her eyes and observes hers carefully. She cautiously lowers her little face and takes a few wary nibbles before eating with gusto.

Perry hears a snicker behind her and turns to see both Danny and LaFontaine are recording the animals on their phones.

“Hollis, you are never living this down,” Danny cackles.

 

When she finishes devouring her food, Puppy-Laura splashes the water bowl and a very drenched Kitten-Carmilla glares at her, sulking back to her sunlit corner of the room and licking at her dripping fur.

Puppy-Laura knows to leave her alone for a bit.

 

* * *

 

 

One night, Squeakers is following LaF’s trail of cheese and winds up going into Carmilla and Laura’s bedroom. The unsuspecting Squeakers wanders too close to a sleeping Kitten-Carmilla and winds up running for its life out of the bedroom, leaving little pellets behind.

Puppy-Laura blocks Kitten-Carmilla, allowing Squeakers to barely escape.

LaFontaine jumps when Squeakers come darting into their room, fearfully clutching cheese.

 

They ignore Perry’s lecturing and instead set up a camera to further observe Kitten-Carmilla and Puppy-Laura’s behavior when no one’s around.

 

* * *

 

 

One afternoon, LaF and Perry have gone to pick up more food and litter–– to Kitten-Carmilla’s relief–– and leave Danny and Kirsch in charge of watching over their furry friends.

Danny and Kirsch had just gone food shopping (for the humans), and Danny comes back from putting away groceries in the kitchen. She sets out more water, walking into the room to find Kirsch playing fetch with Puppy-Laura.

“I would’ve come over _days_ ago if I’d known how fun they were,” he laughs, tossing a ball across the room and watching Puppy-Laura hop after it. “Well. Laura’s fun. Carmilla’s not doing much.”

They both glance over to find Kitten-Carmilla perched in front of a book being held open with two paperweights. She lets out a small mew and Kirsch walks over, removes them, flips to the next page, and replaces them. He receives a small grateful nod as compensation.

Meanwhile, Kirsch feels a small nudge at his ankle and he chuckles and rolls the ball across the floor again for Puppy-Laura.

 

Danny giggles before spotting a bag in the corner. “Kirsch! You were supposed to bring all the groceries into the kitchen,” she scolds.

“Oh, Sorry,” he says, rushing over to the bag to pick it up. He trips in his haste and knocks the bag over, and the contents spill out. A cucumber rolls over towards where Kitten-Carmilla is.

She immediately lets out a long hiss and jumps away from the book in fear, landing with her back arched.

“Whoa!” Kirsch yelps.

Danny stands beside him, trying not to laugh. “Oh, yeah! I saw videos of this. Cats get scared by cucumbers for some reason.”

“So weird, dude,” Kirsch whispers.

Danny grins wickedly and reaches into the grocery bag, producing more cucumbers and placing them in front of Kitten-Carmilla, who hisses as she backs away from them.

 

Puppy-Laura, who had been distracted by her ball, notices the ruckus and immediately rushes over, barking at the cucumber enemies threatening the kitten. She nudges them away before walking over to Kitten-Carmilla, eyes wide but letting out a strong yip to show her she’s saved the kitten from the cucumbers.

Kitten-Carmilla still looks unsure, and Danny amusedly rolls the cucumbers back towards them. Kitten-Carmilla immediately darts around Puppy-Laura, taking a protective stance to defend her from the cucumbers.

“Oh, my god. They’re protecting each other from cucumbers,” Danny sighs.

 

Puppy-Laura runs over to the closest cucumber and bites into it, shredding it as best as she can. Before Danny and Kirsch can stop her, Puppy-Laura’s gone through a few of the cucumbers as a happy Kitten-Carmilla watches.

Kirsch frowns down at the mess once they’ve relocated both animals to another room. “Wasn’t this supposed to be dinner?”

Danny nods, burying her face in her hands. “Perry’s gonna kill us.”

“ _You_.” Kirsch walks away with the rest of the groceries. “Perry’s gonna kill _you_. You’re the one who taunted Carmilla with the cucumber.”

“You’re the one who didn’t put his half of the groceries away!” Danny shouts back.

 

She groans and peeks into the next room, retching as Kitten-Carmilla licks the cucumber mess off Puppy-Laura’s fur.

 

* * *

 

 

“You _have_ to see this, Lawrence,” LaF says as Danny enters the living room. “I left the Hollstein-cam up last night, right?”

Danny raises an eyebrow at them.

“For observational purposes, obviously,” they add quickly. “Thought I’d take advantage since the Alchemy club doesn’t know how long these effects will last.”

“Obviously,” Danny replies, unconvinced.

LaF waves their hand dismissively. “ _Anyway_. You have to see this,” they continue, gesturing at the computer screen before them. They play a video from a certain point.

 

Kitten-Carmilla and Puppy-Laura are near their bowls, with Puppy-Laura swatting around a small ball. Tiny Kitten-Carmilla is curled up, watching her with vague amusement.

Suddenly, she seems curious about something. She waits until Puppy-Laura has wandered a bit away from the bowls with her ball, intent on making it crumble beneath her tiny capable paws.

Kitten-Carmilla heads closer to the bowls with intrigue–– and starts eating from Laura’s bowl. She takes a tentative first bite, before digging in.

There’s a small whimper as Puppy-Laura returns to find her food being eaten. A few seconds go by before she whimpers continuously and lies down, watching helplessly as her food disappears before her very eyes.

 

Kitten-Carmilla seems to finally realize she has company and picks her tiny head up from the bowl, looking over to find a very distraught Puppy-Laura. She looks down at the bowl, sheepishly finding that she’s eaten over half the bowl, before chancing a look back over to her furry comrade.

Puppy-Laura is staring back with wide eyes, looking ready to cry.

Kitten-Carmilla lets out a small mew, but receives no reply in return. Realizing she’s done something very wrong, she backs away from the bowl of kibble. She walks over to her bowl of Fancy Feast and edges it off the towel Perry laid out, and towards Puppy-Laura.

 

When there’s no reply, Kitten-Carmilla mews again and circles the bowl before gingerly placing a paw on Puppy-Laura’s. Another mew from Kitten-Carmilla is needed before she finally rises and heads toward the bowl, hesitating when she reaches it.

Kitten-Carmilla lowers her own small face to the bowl and gives a small nod. Puppy-Laura slowly takes a nibble, her tail wagging.

 

LaF pauses the video, looking to Danny for her reaction.

“They’re more gross like this than they are normally,” Danny gags.

LaF cackles as the pitter-patter of tiny paws rushing around is heard upstairs.

“Guess Laura finally got Carmilla up this morning,” LaF comments.

Danny sighs. “I swear, it’s like nothing’s cha––”

 

The floor squeaks and two rolling blurs thud down the stairs. Danny and LaF jump to their feet, rushing towards their two dazed friends as they roll to the bottom of the steps.

Kitten-Carmilla has landed more or less nimbly after the last step, and is the first to recover. She immediately rushes over to Puppy-Laura, who’s still sprawled out on the ground. There’s a soft, worried mew, which goes unanswered as she wanders over. It’s followed by a more urgent meow and she puts her front paws on Puppy-Laura, gently nudging her to see if she’ll stir.

“Is she dead?” Danny whispers, horrified.

A few seconds go by and still nothing.

 

“We should tell Perry,” Danny whispers, kneeling down beside Puppy-Laura.

“She’s gonna kill me,” LaF whimpers. “She told me to put a rug she bought at the top of the stairs so they don’t slip, and I was putting it off.”

Kitten-Carmilla lets out another meow, nuzzling her face against Puppy-Laura’s tiny arm.

Finally, Puppy-Laura stirs, opening her eyes slowly.

 

LaF carefully pokes at Puppy-Laura in various places. “I don’t think anything’s broken,” they observe, letting out a breath they didn’t realize they’d been holding.

“I’d put that rug out now,” Danny comments, flopping onto a chair.

Puppy-Laura stands slowly, under the watchful eye of Kitten-Carmilla. She lets out a small yip, then a more energetic bark before running around in a couple small circles. With one leap, she darts back up the stairs. An annoyed but relieved Kitten-Carmilla trails after her.

“Yep,” Danny comments, “they’re just the same old disgustingly cute Hollstein.”

 

* * *

 

 

“LaF,” a voice whispers through their slumber. “LaaaaaF.”

LaF cracks open their eyes but doesn’t see anyone next to their bed, letting out an annoyed grumble.

“LaF, I need you to, like, stay cool, okay?” the voice persists.

They slowly become aware that there is something on their chest, so they open their eyes again to focus on it. Puppy-Laura is sitting there, eyes wide.

Then, she opens her mouth.

“LaF.”

 

LaFontaine lets out a shriek and instinctively flings the weight across the room.

“Laura!” Carmilla’s voice calls out from the foot of the bed as something small hits the wall.

Perry rolls over. “What’s going on?” she mumbles sleepily.

LaF jumps out of bed and, sure enough, Kitten-Carmilla is running over to where Puppy-Laura landed.

“Are you okay?” Kitten-Carmilla asks.

LaF stares at them, mouth open. Perry’s expression mirrors LaF’s.

“Did… A-Are they… _speaking_?” Perry asks.

 

Puppy-Laura pushes herself up with a groan. “Yeah, uhm. Carm and I woke up still stuck like this, but we could speak. Maybe the Alchemy club thing is wearing off?”

Kitten-Carmilla lets out a soft hiss at LaF before bumping her little fuzzy head against Puppy-Laura. “Are you okay, cutie?”

“I think I was _already_ pretty battered and bruised after falling down the stairs yesterday when _someone_ pushed me,” Puppy-Laura points out with a giggle.

“Listen, I’m not the one who annoyed me by repeatedly biting at my neck scruff,” Kitten-Carmilla scoffs. “I was just trying to chase you away when I slipped and bumped into you.”

“But your neck scruff is so soft and squishy,” Puppy-Laura whines. She takes a step forward and lets out a yelp, falling over.

LaF clicks their tongue and walks over to her, carefully picking up her limp limb. “Yeeeeah, I think this is sprained. But it’s not broken.”

 

With her back arched, Kitten-Carmilla lets out a hiss towards LaFontaine.

“Calm down, fur-ball,” LaF says. “I can just wrap it and it should be fine.” They carefully scoop up Puppy-Laura and carry her into their makeshift lab area.

The sounds of a very impatient Kitten-Carmilla makes LaFontaine laugh as they can hear her small paws pacing back and forth behind them while they work.

After a couple minutes, LaF spins in their chair with Puppy-Laura in their lap, sporting gauze wrapped around their paw. They put her on the ground and Kitten-Carmilla immediately runs over, looking down at the gauze and sniffing it.

“I’m fine, Carm,” Puppy-Laura insists, her tail wagging. She slowly tries to walk forward and lets out a whimper. “Okay, not _fine_ -fine. But maybe you can draw on this when we’re back to normal and you’ve got opposable thumbs again. Make me the coolest puppy in the pound.”

 

Kitten-Carmilla lets out a sad mew before she stands next to Puppy-Laura, their front limbs flush against each other. “Lift your arm,” she tells her, gesturing at the injured limb.

It takes a little maneuvering, but Puppy-Laura manages to sling her arm over onto Kitten-Carmilla’s back. They manage to take a couple steps forward, with Puppy-Laura putting some of her weight on Kitten-Carmilla.

 

As they head out of the room, Kitten-Carmilla narrows her tiny eyes in a glare at LaFontaine. “You’re gonna regret this.”

“Ooh, whatcha gonna do? Hack up a hairball on my floor?” LaF taunts.

“Or maybe _on_ _you_ while you’re sleeping. Or in _your shoe_ ,” Kitten-Carmilla threatens. “You won’t see it coming, Science Ginger. You _won’t see it coming_.”

 

Perry frowns. “ _Whatever_ she does, I am not cleaning it up for you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“By the way, thanks for saving me from the cucumbers,” Kitten-Carmilla purrs, rubbing her face affectionately against Puppy-Laura’s head when they’ve returned to their room. Realizing they probably shouldn’t try to get Puppy-Laura to jump onto the bed, they decided to settle on the floor.

“Well, thanks for sharing your food,” Puppy-Laura replies. “Even though you ate _mine_ first.”

Kitten-Carmilla stretches with a small yawn. “How long do you think we’ll be stuck like this?”

Puppy-Laura rolls over a few times before settling on her back. “I dunno.”

“How’s your paw?” Kitten-Carmilla asks, walking after the rolling puppy.

 

“I think it’s okay.” Puppy-Laura sighs. “Too bad you can’t sign my little cast.”

“I’ve got an idea.” Kitten-Carmilla wanders out of the room for a few minutes and then returns with a small bottle. “Is this good enough?”

Puppy-Laura lets out a small bark. “Yep!”

 

 

The next morning, Perry walks in to fill their food bowls, frowning when she sees a puddle of ink next to an empty bottle on the floor.

LaFontaine enters behind her. “Hey, Per? Have you seen my bottle of dye? I need it to––”

Perry shushes them and points at the small purring black kitten napping next to the sleeping puppy, and at the small bit of gauze wrapped around her paw.

“Guess they found a way for Carmilla to sign Laura’s cast, after all,” Perry says, leaving with LaFontaine grumbling about wasted dye behind her.

 

Puppy-Laura’s wrapped paw has a small kitten paw-print on it. Kitten-Carmilla rubs at her face in her sleep, leaving some ink on her nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally gonna be an independent one-shot (just like, y'know, this fic started out LOL) but I figured if I put it here it'd be easier since I'd already established a lore about the gang and wouldn't have to explain it all again.  
> As for the actual update's insanity... I don't know-- but I hope you enjoyed it LMAO
> 
> The story is also now also on [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/59283662-childcare).  
> Feel free to drop a comment or a prompt below or hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/) <3  
> Updates are tagged on tumblr as [#Carmilla childcare](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/tagged/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome and thanks for reading! <3


	44. The Hunter Becomes the Hunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an incident leaves both Kitten-Carmilla and Puppy-Laura in need of some medical attention, the gang must deal with the fact that another vampire hunter has come looking for Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I forgot about this lil fic, didn't ya? Well, I DIDN'T.  
> Long story short, I've had both of these planned out but life got in the way and I didn't have time to finish writing them. But with the movie coming out, I stepped on the gas, and here we are. Two chapters for this update! We're going full fluffy fuzzy crack, y'all <3

“Did you refill their water bowl?” Perry asks as she brushes past LaFontaine in the kitchen.  They shake their head and Perry lets out an exasperated sigh.  

“I swear, if it were up to you, the two of them would starve to death or die from dehydration,” Perry scolds.

Danny rolls her eyes.  “We all know if either of them were hungry, they’d both be down here with little picket signs demanding food and water.  Not even for themselves.  They’d be insisting we feed the other one first.”

LaF lets out a snort.  “Ain’t that the disgusting truth.”

“Dudes,” Kirsch frowns, “I haven’t heard a peep from them for hours.  Have you?”

“Damn,” Danny huffs.  “Me, neither.”

Kirsch’s eyes widen.  “You don’t think…”

Perry grabs the pitcher of water and runs upstairs and stops short, squeaking when LaFontaine runs right into her.

 

“Per, what––”  LaF peers over her shoulder and makes a face.  “I-Is that…”

Perry clamps her eyes shut and nods rapidly.  “Vomit?  Smeared vomit?  Mhm.  Yes.  Yes, it is.”

There’s a fork in the streak, leading to two trails.  “ _ Siiiick _ ,” LaF chuckles.  They carefully step around Perry.  “‘Sick,’ as in, ‘cool.’  Although, I guess…”

LaFontaine toes over the vomit carefully and heads out of the staircase, following one of the trails, straight to the culprit.

“Yikes, Carmilla.”

The small black kitten is curled up in a ball beside a potted plant, somehow looking pale.

“You’re the source of the vomit?”

Kitten-Carmilla picks her head up and nods miserably before putting it back down.

LaF frowns.  “Where’s Laura?”

 

A few seconds go by before Kitten-Carmilla perks up again, eyes wide.  She lets out a small worried mew.

Before LaF can try to decipher its meaning, they hear a loud shriek from the stairwell.  They quickly run back out, careful to avoid the vomit.  This time, they follow the other trail to where Perry looks ready to pass out.

“Oh my god,” LaF says, covering their mouth. “Please, please,  _ please _ tell me Laur didn’t run out to get help, slip on Carmilla’s vomit, and then crash into the wall and knock herself out.”

Perry clicks her tongue down at the unconscious puppy.  “Helpful to her own detriment, regardless of what animal she is.”

 

* * *

 

LaFontaine runs ahead of Danny, Perry, and Kirsch, who is pushing Puppy-Laura and Kitten-Carmilla in a stroller after they get off the bus.

“How are they doing in there?” Kirsch asks.

Danny jogs in front of it and makes a disgusted face.  “Laura is still dazed and Carmilla is still staring at her all worried with a tiny plastic bag of puke tied around her neck.”

She pushes open the door for Kirsch and holds it, before turning to the dark, empty veterinary waiting room.

“LaFontaine? Where are you?” Perry asks.

“Back here,” they call out from a back room.

 

Perry enters it, leaving Kirsch and Danny with their furry charges.  LaFontaine huffs and holds out a piece of paper before them, reading it loud enough for everyone to hear.

“ _ To Whom It May Concern, _

_ Whatever you bozos did on Silas Campus, it spread to this area.  We are also small children.  Small children are incapable of holding back large dogs and other big animals when they try to escape from the pens.  Which means a group of disgruntled small children (us, the vets) are currently scouring the entire area trying to round up the animals and send them to nearby places.  In the meantime, we suggest you look up other close vets for your needs.  And stop doing weird stuff like turning adults into children. _ ”

 

LaF puts the paper back on the desk in front of the computer. Perry sighs.  “Where is the next-closest vet?”

“I dunno,” LaF says with a shrug.  “Lawrence, can you look it up?” they call.

When a few seconds go by with no reply, the two of them frown.

“Danny?” Perry tries as they head for the door.

The waiting room is completely empty, save for a vacant stroller.

“Uhm.  Thi-This is… odd,” Perry says.

LaF sighs.  “Understatement of the year, much?”  They pull out their phone and dial Danny’s number.  A phone starts ringing and they follow the sound, only to find it discarded under a chair, right next to Kirsch’s phone.

“Very odd,” Perry frets.

LaFontaine pivots and goes back to the back room, heading for the computer.

“What are you doing?” Perry asks.

 

“Gotta be security footage on here,” LaF mumbles.  A few clicks later, they pull up a video and rewind it back a few minutes.  “There’s us walking in… then there’s the others walking in… And now…”

Perry lets out a gasp.  A large man quietly slips in through the door and covers both Kirsch and Danny’s mouths, yanking them outside.  He quickly returns, tossing their phones on the ground, and plucks Laura and Carmilla from the stroller before leaving again.

LaFontaine fast-forwards for a bit and sees themselves and Perry re-enter the room, looking confused.

 

“Oh my god! They’ve been taken!” Perry squeaks.

LaF frowns.  “What could that dude want with two kids, a concussed puppy, and a yakking kitten?”

 

* * *

 

“What do you want with us?” Danny demands, struggling to break free from the ropes around her wrist in the backseat beside Kirsch.  She strains with her hands in her lap for a while before taking a break.

The two animals are strapped securely in a bag together, with a seatbelt holding it in place.  Puppy-Laura still looks slightly dazed, while Kitten-Carmilla stares at her with a concerned look.

“Hell- _ o _ ?  What do you want with two kids, a puppy with a head injury, and a kitten who looks hung over?” Danny demands, kicking at the grate separating the backseat from the driver.

He pulls the van over and growls at Danny, making her jump and scoot backwards.

“Look, you twerp.  I’m hunting a vampire and the locator spell said it was someone in that waiting room.  I don’t know which one of you is the vampire disguising herself, but until I figure it out, none of you are going anywhere.  I don’t care if I have to cart around two snot-nosed brats and two adorable animals all day.”

Kirsch sighs.  “I mean, wouldn’t it be easier to just kill all four of us instead of trying to figure out who’s the vampire?”

Danny’s eyes widen and she elbows him.

“Ow!  What?” he whines.

 

“Not a bad idea,” he laughs cruelly.  “But that’s more of a mess than I’m being paid to deal with.”  He turns back and starts driving again.

Puppy-Laura seems to finally realize what’s going on and starts barking and growling.

The vampire hunter turns the radio on and raises the volume over the barking.

 

“It’s no use, Lil’ Bow Wow,” Kirsch frets.  “We’re gonna have to start straddling.”

Danny blinks.  “Do you mean  _ strategizing _ ?”

Kirsch shrugs.  “I just know we gotta get outta here!”

Kitten-Carmilla lets out a huff and looks over at Puppy-Laura, who seems to be dozing off again.

“Hey!  No more nodding off,” Danny snaps, making Puppy-Laura jump.  “If you do that with a concussion, it’s… bad.  …I think.  I  _ think _ that’s what LaFontaine told me one time.”

“Is that a special type of pillow?” Kirsch asks.

Danny groans.  “A  _ concussion _ , not a cushion!”

“Stop using big words!” he complains.

 

“Oh my  _ god, _ ” the man growls, turning down the music.  “Do you kids ever shut the hell up?”

Kitten-Carmilla mews something in sympathy to him.

“Laura’s passed out again, dudes,” Kirsch points out.

Danny’s eyes widen and she kicks at the divider again.  “You have to take this puppy to a vet!”

Kirsch nods frantically.  “Yeah!  She could have a really bad cushion!”

 

“This is not worth it, I don’t care how cute she is,” the guy growls.  He shakes his head and slams on the steering wheel before pulling over and getting out of the van.  

Kirsch’s eyes widens and Danny does her best to shrug.

The back door opens and the hunter reaches in, pulling both kids out.  “No time like the present to figure out which one of you is the vampire.  Starting with the children.”

Puppy-Laura is awake now, barking again.

 

“Shut  _ up _ !” he growls at her.

Danny takes advantage of the distraction and kicks him in the groin.  Kirsch lunges forward and tackles him backwards, and something goes flying out of his pocket and into the van.

“His phone!” Danny realizes.  The vampire hunter remains still on the ground.  She grabs it and quickly dials LaFontaine’s phone from memory.  “For once, Perry’s craziness and making us memorize each other’s numbers actually pays off,” she grumbles.

It rings for a few seconds, while Kirsch keeps a wary eye on him and frees Kitten-Carmilla and Puppy-Laura.

“ _ Hello _ ?” LaF picks up, confused.

Danny almost drops the phone.  “LaF!  It’s me, Danny!”

 

Kirsch looks at Danny’s hands and his own.  “I’m gonna see if he has a knife,” he whispers.

“Be careful,” Danny replies.

It only takes a few seconds of going through his pockets for Kirsch to produce a knife and head back to the van.

 

“ _ Oh my god, Lawrence.  Where are you guys? _ ” LaF asks.

“We’re––”

Danny is cut off when the hunter springs to his feet, knocks the knife out of Kirsch’s hand, and catches it as it’s falling.  He throws it at Danny, who yelps and manages to duck, flinching as the knife flies into the front of the van.  The hunter grabs Kirsch and spins, throwing him to the ground.

“Get off of him!” Danny yells.   She drops the phone and digs around in the front seat for the knife.

 

Kitten-Carmilla and Puppy-Laura scamper over to the abandoned phone, looking at each other while the chaos unfolds around them.

“ _ Hello?  Still there? _ ” LaF’s voice comes through.

Puppy-Laura looks at Kitten-Carmilla with wide eyes and lets out a bark into the speaker.

There’s a pause.  “ _ Laur _ ?”

Puppy-Laura nods.  Kitten-Carmilla narrows her eyes at her and Puppy-Laura realizes her mistake, giving LaFontaine a confirmation bark.

 

“ _ Crap _ .”

“ _ What’s going on, LaFontaine? _ ” Perry’s voice asks.

“ _ I think Lawrence and Kirsch are fighting the dude who took them.  And we’re left with Laura on the line. _ ”

Kitten-Carmilla meows at the phone, offended.

“ _ Aaaand I guess Karnstein, too. _ ”

“ _ Well, that’s not good, _ ” Perry huffs.

 

There’s another brief pause.

“ _ Okay, we need to figure out where you guys are, _ ” LaF says slowly.  “ _ One bark or meow for ‘yes,’ two for ‘no.’  Do you guys know where you are? _ ”

Kitten-Carmilla meows once.

“ _ Are you back on campus? _ ”

Two barks.

“ _ So you went away from campus? _ ”

One bark.

“ _ Did you go north on the highway? _ ”

 

Puppy-Laura and Kitten-Carmilla stare at each other.  Kitten-Carmilla sticks out a paw in one direction, cocking her head in confusion.  Puppy-Laura shakes her head and points a paw in the opposite direction.

“ _ Hello? _ ” LaF tries impatiently.

“ _ Maybe they don’t know which way is north, _ ” Perry suggests.

LaF groans.  “ _ Did you turn left? _ ”

Puppy-Laura nods again. Kitten-Carmilla lets out an annoyed huff and meows once.

 

“ _ Okay.  How many exits did you pass on the highway? _ ” LaF asks.

Kitten-Carmilla meows four times.  Puppy-Laura barks three times.

“… _ Which is it? _ ” LaF asks.

Puppy-Laura barks three times again.  Kitten-Carmilla meows four times again.

 

“Hey!  What the hell are you two doing?” the monster hunter shouts, having finally knocked out both Danny and Kirsch.  “It’s  _ always _ the cute ones.”

He reaches forward and grabs the phone.

“Say goodbye to your friends, twerp,” he growls before hanging up. He narrows his eyes at them.  “That tiny redhead said the puppy is concussed, right?”  He swallows hard.  “I’m sorry,” he says before picking up Puppy-Laura and flinging her to the front of the car. She smacks into the windshield and flops onto the driver seat, unconscious.

Kitten-Carmilla immediately hisses and leaps at him, digging as much of her tiny claws into his face as she can.

 

Danny and Kirsch are slowly coming to.

“Dude, Kitten-Carmilla is gonna kill that guy with her itty bitty paws of death,” Kirsch groans.

Danny pushes herself up as the hunter manages to pry Kitten-Carmilla off his face, blood streaming from the cuts.  She rushes at him, but he simply shoves her back, making her land clumsily on Kirsch.

“I see it in your eyes,” he snarls down at Kitten-Carmilla in his hand.  “You’ve killed.  You have an old soul.   _ You’re _ the vampire.”  He tightens his grip and she lets out a hacking gasp.

 

There’s a  _ thunk _ and before anyone can react, the van flies forwards several feet.

The hunter’s eyes widen.  “What the…”

The tires screech and suddenly the van jerks before immediately reversing and backing up at full speed and rams right into the hunter, with the rear bumper slamming into his knees.  He gets sent soaring through the air, letting Kitten-Carmilla go as he lands on the ground, howling in agony.

“What the hell?” Danny asks, getting up with a grunt.  

Kirsch stares at the man cursing away beside him on the ground.  “Bro, I think both of his legs are broken.”

 

Footsteps run up to them as LaF and Perry finally catch up to them, gasping for air.

“W-We… We narrowed it down to somewhere in this area from the direction Laur and Carmilla gave us,” LaF explains breathlessly.  “How did you guys manage to take him down?”

Danny and Kirsch peer into the van and hear small feet scampering from the front of the van to the back.  Her eyes widen.  “Hollis, did you just drive a van in your puppy form and hit this dude?”

Puppy-Laura nods with a proud bark.  She leaps from the van and heads over to where Kitten-Carmilla managed to land nimbly on her feet.  The others watch as Puppy-Laura bumps her head against Kitten-Carmilla, who lets out a purr.

“I can’t believe Laura ran over a man for threatening Karnstein,” Danny comments.  “I mean, I  _ can _ , but…”

 

“Well, the next nearest vet isn’t too far from here.  What should we do with this… man?” Perry asks, frowning at the vampire hunter.

“Maybe call Mattie?” LaF suggests with a shrug.  

Carmilla perks up and shakes her head.

Perry smirks.  “Oh, she’s gonna  _ love _ this. ”

 

* * *

 

“Who’s a cute kitty?   _ Who’s a cute kitty? _ ” Mattie asks in a childish tone, laughing when Kitten-Carmilla swats away Mattie’s hand in annoyance.

LaF walks in with a frown.  “The vet called back.  Laura doesn’t have any broken bones or a concussion.  And they have no idea why Carmilla was vomiting.”

“Hmm,” Mattie hums.  “That’s odd.”

Perry and Danny enter with Puppy-Laura trailing behind them.

Mattie scratches behind Kitten-Carmilla’s ears, watching as Puppy-Laura rolls a ball into the room with her nose.  She’s too small to see where she’s going and winds up rolling it right into a potted plant.

Mattie frowns.  “Are there…”  She gets up with Kitten-Carmilla in her hands and walks over to the plant.  “Why are there bite marks on these leaves?”  Mattie looks down at Puppy-Laura.  “Have you been  _ eating _ this plant?”  She stares at Kitten-Carmilla.  “Have  _ both _ of you been eating this plant?”

Both look properly shamed.

 

“Oh my  _ God _ ,” Mattie groans, putting down her fuzzy sister.  “Carm, this is a plant Mother used to extract the drug that would knock out girls who fought back when they were taken!  And it’s poisonous to vampires!”

“Wait.”  LaF lets out a snort.  “If they both ate this plant… then that’d explain why Carmilla was barfing everywhere, and why Laura kept dozing off without having a concussion.”

 

Mattie glares down at the two sheepish furry troublemakers.

“What do you have to say for yourselves?” she demands.

Puppy-Laura and Kitten-Carmilla share a look before slowly walking over and lying down at Mattie’s feet, eyes wide as they stare up at her.

“Oh, no.  This cute act doesn’t work with me,” Mattie snaps, taking a few steps away.  Kitten-Carmilla bumps at her ankle with her head, while Puppy-Laura lets out a small whine.  Then Kitten-Carmilla begins making a figure-8 around Mattie’s feet.

Mattie waits for a few seconds before growling and picking them off the ground, sitting down on the couch with them, resigned to giving in to their cuteness.  “Leave it to you two fuzzballs to be able to take on a vampire hunter for each other after eating a poisonous plant, yet adorably survive it all.”

 

“My mama was right,” the man growls from across the room.  They all look at the tied-up vampire hunter Mattie left in the corner.  “She always said I had a weakness for cute things.”

Puppy-Laura lets out a happy bark before licking at Kitten-Carmilla’s face.  Kitten-Carmilla begins purring.

“Ugh, I’m gonna be the next one to vomit,” Mattie groans.

Danny nods.  “Welcome to the club.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>


	45. A Series of Unfortunate Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LaFontaine premieres a new film, starring Kitten-Carmilla and her adventures with Puppy-Laura

LaFontaine clears their throat, standing before a screen.  “We are gathered here today––”

Perry jumps out of her chair immediately.  “Oh, God!  Who died?”

“No one died, Per,” LaF replies, waiting for Perry to take her seat again before starting over.  “We are gathered here today to witness a cinematic masterpiece.  Perhaps one of the most revolutionary films to have ever graced the modern era.”

“Oh my  _ God _ ,” Danny squeaks exasperatedly from the couch beside Mel and Kirsch.  “Is this the stupid drone movie you’ve been filming where you stalk Carmilla?”

LaF lets out an offended gasp.  “I haven’t been stalking Carmilla!”

“No, just your drone,” Mel replies, rolling her eyes.

There’s a small hiss and everyone looks down at the two pillows on the floor close to the screen.  "I hated that thing," Kitten-Carmilla grumbles.  Puppy-Laura pats her reassuringly.

 

“Yes, Carmilla, I was the one who sent the drone to watch over you,” LaF confirms, leading to another hiss from the floor, which they ignore.  “But I had a theory I wanted to test.”

Kirsch stretches and stuffs some popcorn from a large bowl in his mouth.  “I didn’t know we were going to be tested,” he mumbles sadly, mouth full.

“No,” LaF groans.  “I want you guys to watch my film.  About Carmilla.”

Mel, Danny, and Kirsch all share an exasperated look.

“You’re lucky that storm out there is getting worse, or I'd leave,” Mel grumbles.

“Cool, cool,” LaF exclaims gleefully, starting the movie file and sitting down beside Perry.

 

A  _ Star Wars _ -like scroll appears on the screen, backed by dramatic orchestral music.

 

“ _ Do cats really have nine lives? Or just nine  _ unfortunate _ lives?  A small kitten who recently was kidnapped by a Very Bad Man is the subject of this study. _ ”

A zoomed-in picture of Kitten-Carmilla asleep on the floor, bathed in sunlight, fades into screen.  Text continues to scroll.

“ _ If we count her kidnapping and an almost-fatal poisoning incident as one ‘life,’ then how many can we catch on footage?  Theory says, eight more to go. _ ”

The background goes back to black, with new text appearing.

“ _ A drone was programmed to follow this particular kitten.  We join the subject on a leisurely stroll with her canine companion… _ ”

 

Footage begins with an aerial point of view, a few feet above Puppy-Laura and Kitten-Carmilla,  Laura barking excitedly while Carmilla seems content just enjoying the sunlight on her back.

The pair makes their way down a narrow path on a cliff-side, with Laura by the edge.  She teeters couple times until Carmilla seems to finally have enough and motions for them to switch sides.

Their journey continues for a while. A couple minutes go by when suddenly Kitten-Carmilla lets out a frantic hiss, wraps her front paws around Laura’s waist and yanks her away from some offending foe.

Puppy-Laura lets out a surprised howl as she and Carmilla disappear from view of the drone, which catches a glimpse of the being that instilled such fear in Kitten-Carmilla–– a small snake.

 

The drone follows the pair down as they land on a small clearing below.  Kitten-Carmilla has landed more or less gracefully, with Puppy-Laura in a crumple pile beside her.  Carmilla walks over to Laura and pokes her, looking relieved when she stirs.  Laura looks up and it was a decent drop, so she lets out a whimper.

Kitten-Carmilla looks sheepish and stands on her hind legs, but her front paws come nowhere near  the ledge above them.

There’s an insistent bark behind her and Carmilla turns to find Puppy-Laura in a downward-dog position with an expectant look up at the ledge.  Carmilla seems to get the message and carefully climbs on top of Laura, who stands up and gives Carmilla a boost as she climbs over.  Kitten-Carmilla looks back down at the now-stranded Laura and lets out a sad mew, looking around frantically for help.

For her part, Laura seems perfectly fine where she is and is entertained by a small blade of grass.

 

Carmilla, on the hand, heads back up the road the way they came with a sense of urgency.

She wanders as fast as she can for a couple minutes before she spots an adversary in the road.

 

The snake.

She lets out a small hiss and eyes it warily as they approach each other.

 

_ “I can’t believe we managed to lose them _ ,” the drone picks up Perry fretting in the distance, approaching.  “ _ And I can’t believe  _ you _ lost them _ .”

“ _ It’s not my fault! _ ” LaFontaine insists.  “ _ Laura runs fast with two extra legs.  And Carmilla must have some kind of magnetic attraction coz wherever Laura goes, she immediately follows. _ ”

They obviously hear a small hiss and run ahead towards it, finding Kitten-Carmilla battling it out with a small snake.  It snaps forward and bites her on the paw and she lets out a yowl as LaF makes it to them, scaring the snake away.

“Oh no,” Perry says, carefully picking up Kitten-Carmilla.

“I have something for the bite back home,” LaF says, already heading back.

Kitten-Carmilla lets out an urgent mew, stopping them in their tracks.

“Where’s Laura?” Perry asks as Kitten-Carmilla squirms in her arms.  Kitten-Carmilla points down the road with her injured paw. Perry turns to LaF. “Okay, you take her back and treat the––”

This increases the squirming and worried meowing.

“--Orrrrr not,” Perry frets.  “Fine.  Show us where Laura is first.”

This seems to satisfy the kitten, who leads them down the path and back to where Puppy-Laura is rolling around, blade of grass tucked between her teeth.

 

LaF manages to reach down and pick her up and they start heading back home with her draped over their shoulder.  Puppy-Laura looks at Kitten-Carmilla's limp paw and hops out of LaFontaine's hold and onto the ground, biting at Perry's ankles.

"Ow!  What are you doing?"

The biting becomes more insistent and Perry loses her balance and stumbles a bit, placing Kitten-Carmilla on the ground.  Puppy-Laura gestures at Kitten-Carmilla's injured paw and turns pointedly, and Carmilla seems to get the hint and manages to drape herself over Laura's back, nuzzling her face into the scruff of her neck with a contented purr.

She and Laura start walking home, leaving a befuddled LaFontaine and Perry behind.

 

The scene fades out, replaced with a title card, reading, " _ Act II. _ "

"Kill me now," Mel whispers to Danny, who snickers.

 

The title card transitions into late-night footage, showing Carmilla peeking into LaFontaine and Perry's bedroom.  They're both asleep and Carmilla heads to the kitchen, mewing and nodding, as if giving a signal.  They both look up at the top of the fridge, which has boxes of snacks.  The couple manages to work together to push a tall chair against the fridge, and both leap onto the seat. 

There's a pitter-patter of small footsteps.  Squeakers enters the doorway, takes in the scene before her, and actually shakes her head before walking away.

Laura and Carmilla share a sheepish look and return to their mission.

 

Once again, Puppy-Laura bends down into a downward-dog position and Carmilla carefully climbs on top of Laura, who stands up and gives Carmilla a boost.  Kitten-Carmilla stands on her hind legs and bats at the box in the front with her front paw, knocking it to the floor.  She gets off Laura, who frowns down at the box.

The drone is situated at an angle where it can see that the box is a low-fat, off-brand snack.  Puppy-Laura shakes her head disapprovingly and gets back into a downward-dog position.  Kitten-Carmilla lets out an annoyed huff.  

 

She climbs back up and swats another box farther back, unable to see her mistake as quickly as the drone captures it.  The box is what's holding up the rest of the pile, and the entire structure comes flying forward, knocking the yowling small kitten off Laura, off the chair, and onto the floor.  An avalanche of snack boxes completely cover her in a cascade and Puppy-Laura watches in shock as everything falls.

She leaps down and starts pushing boxes away, whimpering.

 

Frantic footsteps approach and Danny appears first, stopping short right under the drone upon seeing the mess.  "Ohh, Perry is gonna KILL you guys."

Perry enters next, her eyes widening.  "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU GUYS!" she squeaks.

Laura continues her urgent search for Carmilla, until some rustling is heard on the other side of the pile.

Kitten-Carmilla pops out of a torn-open box, a cookie in her mouth.  She walks over to a relieved Laura and puts the cookie down before her.  Puppy-Laura steps on the cookie and breaks it in half, examines the two halves, and nudges the larger half over to Kitten-Carmilla, who lets out a soft purr.

 

"All this for  _ cookies _ ?!" Perry yells.  "All of these boxes knocked over-- this whole me-mess-- y-you could've KILLED Carmilla-- f-for a  _ cookie _ ?"

LaF finally walks into the room, Squeakers in hand, and lets out a snort. "I don't think you have to worry about Laura accidentally getting Carmilla killed, Per.  Not if they kill you from stress first."

Perry turns with a glare.  "Get. A. Broom.  _ Now _ , LaFontaine."

 

The scene fades into a title card, reading, "Act III' with a subtitled, "This time, they're alone in the house..."

 

The drone is already in motion, trying and failing to keep up with two blurry balls of fur.

Puppy-Laura runs by first, darting into the bedroom.  Kitten-Carmilla is slightly slower, approaching the room when a loud commotion is heard.  She rushes in to find Puppy-Laura struggling to drag a large wool blanket off the bed.

 

Kitten-Carmilla looks amused as she leaps onto the bed and nudges it off.  The whole blanket lands on Laura, and Carmilla watches as a small lump slowly crawls out from under it.  Puppy-Laura lets out a grateful yip for the assistance before taking the blanket back in her teeth and running out of the room.  Kitten-Carmilla hops off the bed but mistimes her landing and winds up on the blanket.  Laura is blissfully unaware during her mission to tear out of the room with her new blanket as quickly as possible, and Kitten-Carmilla frantically mews as she's dragged out.

Puppy-Laura cuts a turn sharply at the staircase, but doesn't realize she has extra cargo.  Kitten-Carmilla doesn't make the turn and instead flies right into the stair railing-- getting her head stuck in the process.

 

Her mews become more urgent and loud this time, finally catching Laura's attention.  Puppy-Laura immediately realizes Kitten-Carmilla's head is wedged between two columns in the railing and drops the blanket, running back upstairs with worry.  Carmilla tries pulling but the angle is wrong and she eventually drops to the ground with a huff.

 

Squeakers walks up to them and she and Laura both take one of Kitten-Carmilla's hind legs each, trying their best to pull Carmilla out.

This goes nowhere and Squeakers gives Carmilla a small pat on the butt before getting bored and leaving them in search for a snack in LaFontaine's room.

 

Puppy-Laura lets out a bark and holds up a paw as if signaling to remain patient before running away.  The drone stays on Carmilla, and a few minutes pass before there's a crash downstairs.  Carmilla perks up at that, but after a few more failed attempts at liberating herself, she relents again.

Another couple minutes go by and Puppy-Laura finally returns, a stick of butter in her mouth.  She carefully climbs on top of Carmilla, who lets out an annoyed grumble.  Puppy-Laura manages to wipe the butter on the columns and eventually Kitten-Carmilla pulls her head out.

 

The front door opens below.

Both Laura and Carmilla's eyes widen as they run downstairs with the blanket, taking it to a half-constructed pillow fort.  They quickly duck inside it and pull a pillow to seal it up, right as a shriek comes from the kitchen.

LaF's footsteps run towards her.  " _ Per?  What is it? _ "

" _ One of those furballs knocked the entire carton of milk all over the floor!  And left the fridge open! _ " she yells.

There's a yelp from upstairs.

" _ Ew there's like, a stick of butter up here.  And butter all over the stair railing! _ " Danny's voice wails.

 

The drone captures what sounds like quiet laughter from within the pillow fort.

 

The fourth act begins.

" _ By now, our furry friends have gained the ability to speak.. _ ." subtitles read.

"Oh my  _ GOD _ how many of these are there?" Mel laments.  "I'm going to actually grow by the time we're done."

"We're halfway done," LaF snaps.  "Relax."

Mel starts to lunge at them from her seat, but Danny grabs at her and yanks her back.

"It's still raining really hard out there.  Might as well stay."

Mel crosses her arms.  "'Fine.  But the next time you say 'let's go see what LaF and Perry are up to,' I'm not coming with you."

LaFontaine shushes them and Mel makes a rude gesture, which makes Danny giggle.

 

The scene shows an amused Kitten-Carmilla watching as Puppy-Laura rolls a ball back and forth around the room.  The window is open and a bird is chirping outside.

"Do you want a turn?" Laura asks, stopping the ball with her nose.

"No," Carmilla replies.  "I'm tired just watching you."

Laura giggles and returns to swatting the ball.

 

A couple minutes pass by before the bird chirping gets louder.

Laura stops with the ball and looks at the window.  "Did... Danny ever put up the new window screen?"

Carmilla rolls her eyes.  "No.  She was too short and didn't want to ask for help."

"I don't think she's used to being too short to do things," Laura points out with a laugh.

 

Suddenly, a bird flies through the hole in the window screen and soars around the room.

"Thanks a lot, Lawrence," Carmilla drawls grumpily.

The bird suddenly swoops down and brushes against Laura's ball, sending it flying across the room.

"My ball!" Puppy-Laura yelps, scampering after it.

The bird does it again and Carmilla is unable to suppress her chuckling. 

"Carm, help me!" Laura begs as the bird goes to repeat the action.

At this point, Carmilla is on her back, laughing at her.

Puppy-Laura finally manages to hide her ball under a chair and stands protectively in front of it.  "You suck," she growls at Carmilla.

 

The bird changes direction and goes across the room.  This time, it dives down and pecks Carmilla on the head.

"Ow!"

Laura cackles.  " _ Karma _ ."

The bird circles around and aims for Carmilla again, who hisses and swats at it.  She backs away from the bird.  The bird makes another lap around the room and targets Carmilla again as she continues to back away.

Laura's eyes widen.  "Carm!  Wai--"

Her warning comes too late as Carmilla backs up too far when the bird makes its move.  Both go crashing through the window screen hole, knocking it out with it.

The window slams closed and, by the time Laura makes it to the window sill, the bird has flown off, and Carmilla is trapped on the narrow ledge.  The drone has flown out with her.

 

Puppy-Laura puts up a paw on the window, whimpering as Carmilla peeks through from the other side, her front pressed up against the window.

"I-I can't open the window without thumbs," Puppy-Laura says lamely.  "And everyone  _ with _ thumbs is at the Alchemy Club trying to help turn us back to humans faster."

Carmilla peeks behind her and gulps.  "I... I don't know how long I can stay out here without slipping."

Laura looks around for several seconds before she seems to get an idea.  She takes a deep breath.  "Okay.  Okay.  Stay here and wait.  Just stay right there, okay?"

Laura's retreating footsteps don't make Carmilla feel any better.

 

A few seconds later, Laura reappears.  She drops off Bagheera at the window.

"Talk to Baggy for a bit to stay calm."

Carmilla huffs.  "Laura..."

"Just until I can fix this!" Laura shouts, disappearing again.

Carmilla lets out a long sigh, staring at the stuffed cat in front of her.

 

"Sooo... come here often?"

 

Several minutes go by and Carmilla's mind starts to wander.

"Baggy, you pretty much know Laura as well as I do, now.  What do you think is more likely-- that she tripped down the stairs and knocked herself out seconds after leaving us, that she got distracted by a new crusade when she got downstairs and is halfway to fighting some demon, that she saw a real gorgeous cookie on the kitchen counter, or--"

"Wow, you really think a lot of me, huh?" Laura asks nearby, feigning hurt.

Carmilla frowns.  "Laura?  Where are you?"

"Turn around, bright eyes," Laura replies with a giggle.

 

Carmilla carefully about-faces and her eyes widen.

"Hey."  Laura is on a ledge a few feet away, with some fabric gathered behind her.

"Where've you been?" Carmilla asks.

Laura squints at a space between them.  "Do you trust me?"

Carmilla's eyes follow to where Laura's went and her mouth drops open.  "Laura..."

"I'm taking that as a 'yes,'" Laura declares.

 

Without waiting any longer, Laura backs up a bit before running across her ledge, the fabric in her mouth.  She leaps off the edge and soars through the air.

Suddenly, she whips her head and lets the looped fabric go, and it catches on a flagpole between the two ledges.  Laura quickly bites onto the end of the fabric, and the momentum swings her like a pendulum-- right into a stammering Carmilla.

The motion knocks them both off the ledge towards the ground below and the drone follows.

 

"I love you, cutie, but wHY WOULD YOU WANT US TO GO SPLAT ON THE GROUND TOGETHER?" Carmilla yells.

"TRUST ME PLEASE," Laura screams back.

A few seconds later, they land-- not on the ground, but in a giant pile of pillows and blankets.

Carmilla's head pops up first and she frowns at her surroundings in confusion.  "I-Is this our pillow fort?"

Laura nods beside her.  "Yup!  I dragged it all out here so we'd have a safe landing."

 

Carmilla turns and stares at her, bewildered.  "You just... climbed onto a ledge a few stories up.  Tarzan-ed on a flagpole.  Knocked me off a ledge I was stuck on.  And made sure we'd land on pillows and blankets."

Laura nods proudly. "Yup!"

"You're a crazy creampuff," Carmilla remarks.

"Yup!" Laura says with a smug grin.

Kitten-Carmilla laughs and purrs as she nuzzles her face into Puppy-Laura's neck.  "But you're my crazy creampuff."

 

The scene fades out, replaced with a title card, reading, "Act V."

Kitten-Carmilla and Puppy-Laura are shown on the front lawn of the apartment, with Carmilla snoozing and Laura knocking her ball back and forth.

"Please play with me," Laura begs.

"No," Carmilla replies grumpily.  "I am  _ napping _ ."

Laura huffs.  "You're  _ always _ napping." 

"Well, maybe I'm  _ always _ tired, because you're  _ always _ bothering me," Kitten-Carmilla grumbles, rolling over and covering her face with her paws.

 

Laura rolls her eyes and swats at her ball a _ little too hard _ and it goes flying right into Carmilla's back.

"Oof!"

Laura's eyes widen as a very angry black kitten slowly rolls back over, glaring at her.  The ball rolls off into the trees.

"Did you just... _ throw the ball _ at me?"

Laura gulps.  "It was an accident!  I'm sorry!"

Carmilla scowls but Laura looks genuinely upset as she walks over.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Laura asks, worried.

 

Carmilla takes a deep breath before her scowl fades into a mischievous grin.

Laura laughs nervously.  "Wh-What?"

"Betcha you can't catch me."  Carmilla takes off running.

 

Laura seems taken aback for a second but quickly breaks out into giggles and gives chase.  A few seconds pass before Laura realizes their destination.  "Carm, no!"

Carmilla lets out a cackle.  "If I get to your ball first, who  _ knows _ what will happen!"

"Not my ball!" Laura laments, picking up speed.  She manages to run past Carmilla and cuts sharply through the trees to start the search for her ball.

Carmilla does the same and there's rustling from both of them as they look for the ball.  The drone gets stuck in a tree and struggles to break free as it focuses on the ground.

 

"Great camera work," Mel remarks dryly.

LaF rolls their eyes.  "Sure, I program a drone to follow a kitten around for weeks with no issues, but it getting caught on a tree is what we're gonna comment on."

 

" _ Carm _ ?" Laura's voice is heard.  " _ I found the ball and buried it so you can't get to it _ ," she continues mockingly.

She's met with silence.

" _ Carm? _ "

The drone finally gets loose and Laura spots it on the move, following it.

 

It reaches a clearing and Laura catches up to it, before promptly bursting out into giggles.

Some random fully-grown mother cat has Kitten-Carmilla by the scruff of her neck in her mouth.  A bunch of smaller kittens are following the mother.

And Kitten-Carmilla is  _ not happy. _

 

_ "...and, y'know, my cupcake is gonna come save me, and  _ then _ you'll be sorry.  Yeah, she'll like, throw her ball and mow down your stupid kittens like they're bowling pins and you'll rue the day you ever carried Carmilla Karnstein off!"  _ Kitten-Carmilla snarls, dangling from the cat's mouth.

The cat actually rolls her eyes, and so does her litter of kittens.

" _ Just you wait.  She's gonna show up any second now, ready to fight you. _ "  A pause.  " _ Aaaaany second, now. _ "

 

Laura strolls up to the group and tries and fails to contain her amusement.  She steps in front of the mother, who regards her carefully.

"Seems like you’re feline helpless," she says to Carmilla.

“Laura.”

“How was this even pawsible?” Laura continues.

“ _ Laura _ .”

“You’re a real whisk-taker.”

“ _ LAURA _ .”

“Alright, alright.”

Laura clears her throat and addresses the mother cat.

 

“Excuse me, ma’am.  You seem to, uhm, have my grumpy girlfriend.  And I know you probably picked her up thinking you were rescuing some useless kitten, but, well, she’s  _ my _ useless kitten.  So I’d really appreciate it if you could just put her down?”

The cat blinks at her and then walks past her without another glance.

“Lau. Ra.”  Carmilla’s annoyance is coming off her in waves.

The kittens swarm Laura.  They all begin miming swatting an invisible object.

Laura frowns.  “You guys want to trade my ball for Carmilla?”

One kitten nods.

 

“Welp, I’m doomed,” Carmilla grumbles.

 

A few minutes pass as the drone only has Carmilla in view.

Then, rapid footsteps approach them and Puppy-Laura appears, her ball in tow.  “Here.  Now will you let my grumpy useless girlfriend go?”

The cat rolls her eyes and unceremoniously drops Kitten-Carmilla to the ground.  She meows at her litter to follow her, and they all take turns gleefully swatting the ball back and forth down the path.

 

Carmilla looks at Laura.  “You gave up your ball for me.”

“Well, duh, silly.  You’re worth more to me than my ball.”  Laura starts going back and Carmilla follows her.

“But you really liked that ball,” Carmilla points out.

Laura giggles.  “I did.  But I like you more.”

Kitten-Carmilla bumps her side against Laura’s affectionately and lets out a purr.

 

The sixth act begins, the scene before them is Kitten-Carmilla basking in the warmth of a sunbeam on the floor, her front paw draped over a slumbering Puppy-Laura.

Puppy-Laura's legs begin pumping in her sleep, as if she's chasing something, and which seems to get Carmilla's attention.  She huffs out a laugh and gently nudges her sleeping companion.

"Laura."

Puppy-Laura jumps to attention, looking around the room.  "Sq--" She cuts herself off.

This piques Carmilla's curiosity.  "What were you dreaming about?"

Laura shakes her head.  "Nothing."

"Laura..."  Carmilla snickers.  "Was it a squirrel?"

Puppy-Laura lets out a whimper.  "Shut up.  Yes."

 

Carmilla laughs and gets up, stretching with a yawn.  "What should we do today?"

Puppy-Laura hops up to the window sill.  "Chase a squirrel," she suggests, more to herself.

"Gonna veto that one, cutie," Kitten-Carmilla says, joining Laura at the window sill.  She cuddles up to her side.  "But it is a nice day outside.  Maybe a picnic?  We drag a blanket and some kibble and Fancy Feast outside?"

Puppy-Laura's tail wags and she lets out a happy bark.

 

"Where's the picnic blanket, anyway?" Carmilla asks.

Laura turns and squints around the room.  "It's so much harder to find things when you're this tiny."

"It's not that big of a change for you," Carmilla teases.

Puppy-Laura makes a playful nip at her and growls softly as she leaps to the floor, walking around the bedroom.

"Maybe it's in that chest over there?" Kitten-Carmilla asks, pointing with a front paw.

Laura scampers across the room and frowns when she gets to it.  "I'm too short."

 

Carmilla goes to her, smirking. "I'm sorry, I couldn't quite hear that from over here."

"I  _ said _ ," Puppy-Laura replies with a huff, "I'm too short."

"Mmhmm," Carmilla says smugly.  "Thought so."

Laura rolls her eyes and gets into a downward-dog position.  Carmilla climbs on top of Laura, who gives Carmilla a boost as she manages to flip the latch and open the chest.

"Get a look at  _ that _ upper-body strength," Carmilla comments.

Laura rolls her eyes again.  "Well, Wonder Woman, do you see the picnic blanket, or not?"

Carmilla stands up more and uses her front paws to help peer further into the chest.  "I--"

 

With a yowl, she tumbles over into it, head-first.

 

"Carm?"  Laura's eyes widen as she gets on her hind legs, but alas is too short to see into the chest. "Carm?"

"Ugh.  Found it," Carmilla grumbles, her voice muffled.

Laura lets out a whine.  "Can you leap out of there?"

There's a sigh.  "Or... I could just nap the day away in here.  It's nice and spacey--"

 

The lid to the chest suddenly falls down on its own and slams closed.

"Oh. God."

Laura tries again to try and reach the latch, to no avail.  "Crap.   _ Crap _ , crapcrap!"

There's a stunned silence from within the chest.  "Laura.  I can't breathe."

Laura springs into action.  "Carm, hold on! Okay?"  She starts to run around the room, her eyes searching.

"Laura?"

Laura runs back and leans her head against the chest, hoping Carmilla can feel her there.  "I'm trying to find something to drag over here that I can climb on and get you out.  I'm not leaving you, I promise.  Okay?"

A sob.  Then a deep breath.  "Okay."

Laura backs away, a fierce determination in her eyes.  "Just-Just keep listening to my voice.  Focus on that."  She begins scouring the room.  "Be brave.  Like. Do you remember that time at the zoo when I fell into the lion pit?"

"Yeah," Carmilla says with a sniffle.  "I don't think he was ready to work that hard for a meal, though."

 

"I'd tease about you not being a hard-worker either, but you did once make me an upside-down chocolate chip cookie bowl with white frosting on top, and a TARDIS made of sugar cookies," Laura comments.

"You were on a sugar high for weeks," Carmilla replies.  "It was the worst idea I ever had."

Laura giggles and starts walking around the room.  "Really?  Coz I'd think you drinking a soil sample and also turning into a child was a pretty bad idea, too."

There's a pause and Laura looks back at the chest in fear that Carmilla's hyperventilated herself into unconsciousness.

 

"You're right," Carmilla finally says.  "That was definitely worse."

 

Laura lets out a sigh of relief and carefully ventures out of the room.  "So let's focus on more positive things."  There's sounds of her trying to budge the chaise, but it's too heavy for her.  "How about that snowball fight we just had?"

"You mean... when I pelted you with a bit of ice?" Carmilla asks

"Okay, so that wasn't the most positive thing," Laura admits.  "Although, not to toot my own horn, but those snow versions of us were pretty accurate."

She can actually hear Carmilla roll her eyes.  "Sure, Hollis."

 

Laura finds a chair and slowly starts nudging it into the bedroom.

"Laura?"  Carmilla asks, her voice small again.  "I... B-Breathing... can't."

Laura's eyes widen and she abandons the chair, running back to the chest.  "I'm right here, Carm.  Just... Breathe with me, okay?"

She strains and can make out slow square breathing from Carmilla.

"More... positive things... please?" Carmilla asks slowly.

Laura thinks hard. "Oh! How about the pillow fight we had when we were camping?  That was fun."

She hears Carmilla's laugh and Laura relaxes.  "Curly Sue cried for like three hours after that."

"Not as hard as she cried after you hacked up a hairball onto her shoulder, though," Laura remarks. 

There's another laugh and Laura figures it's safe to go back to trying to move the chair into the room.

 

"Thank you," Carmilla says, her voice less panicked.  "For taking care of me."

"Ah, it's nothin', Carm," Laura says, nudging audibly the chair along as the drone stays on the chest.  "You take care of me all the time.  Like when my appendix burst.  Or that time we went to the park without telling you and you showed up all worried.  Or when I fell off the chair when we first turned into kids and I hit my head."  Laura frowns when the chair gets caught on something, so she pushes it harder.  "Hell, even when you were a cute baby--"

 

There's a loud crash and Laura lets out a yip followed by some whimpering.

"Laura?" Carmilla calls, her voice urgent again, this time for a different reason.

There's another couple seconds of whimpering before Laura replies. "I'm good."  A pause.  "Perry's plant isn't, though. Accidentally pushed too hard on one side and it fell over."

There's now a loud scraping sound as Laura bites onto a chair leg and drags it slowly across the floor.

 

Carmilla chuckles.

"What?" Laura asks through clenched teeth.

"I was just thinking about that time you yelled at the guy working Strength-O-Meter when I won you the stuffed cat. Bagheera.  The guy looked more scared of you than he did of me," Carmilla recounts fondly.  "Not that I can blame him, you get pretty scary sometimes.  Especially when you're being my hero."

There's a pop and Laura manages to pop the top off of the chest.  She beams smugly down at Carmilla.  "A hero, you say?"

Kitten-Carmilla leaps out immediately and takes a deep breath before purring.  She gives Puppy-Laura a lick on the cheek and affectionately bumps her head against hers.  "The biggest hero."

 

Act VII begins with a nighttime setting, with both Laura and Carmilla sleeping in bed.

Laura lets out a soft whimper.  Then another.  Then a yelp.

Kitten-Carmilla sits up, her ears twitching.  "Laura?"

"No.  No.  All my f-fault," Laura mumbles sadly.  "Come back."

"Laura, hey.  It's just a dream," Carmilla tries softly, gingerly nudging her.  "Wake--"

Laura sits bolt upright with a shout and looks around her, eyes wild.  She finally focuses on Carmilla's face in front of her and lets out a sob of relief.

"You're fine," Kitten-Carmilla says soothingly, holding out a paw and patting Puppy-Laura's.  "Just a nightmare."

 

Laura sniffles.  "I had a dream about the pit and how you died and never came back and..."  Her voice cracks.  "And it was all my fault."

"It wasn't your fault. And I'm here," Carmilla states gently.

"Yeah.  Yeah, you are," Laura says with another sob.

 

A overpassing shadow makes Laura jump and look around her.  She lets out a wheeze.  "It was just the drone," she realizes.

"You know what?" Carmilla snarls.  "I've had enough of this stupid thing.  Like, it following us around is one thing.  But to scare you when you're vulnerable?"  She gets up and arches her back.

"Carm?"  Laura frowns.  "What are you doing?"

Carmilla smirks, a glint in her eye.  "What I should've done weeks ago."

 

She scoots back a bit and then pounces, landing on the drone.  It smashes to the floor and Kitten-Carmilla stays on top of it, making sure it crunches beneath her paws.

"Die, drone!  Die!" she yells.

Laura giggles.  "My hero."

 

The scene fades out after this and Kirsch's applause is the only thing echoing through the room.

"Stop clapping, you idiot," Mel growls.

Danny laughs.  "He's like a monkey."

"Thank you!" Kirsch shouts.

"What did everyone else think?" LaFontaine asks.

Perry clears her throat.  "I liked it, dear."

"One out of five stars," Carmilla grumbles from the pillow.  "And the only reason it's even getting that one star is because Laura is in it."

"Well, I'm nothing without my co-star," Laura comments.

 

Text begins rolling up the screen.

" _ Nine unfortunate lives for a cat, as it would currently be on its ninth, and therefore, last one.   But this kitten shows that, with a lifetime comrade by her side, these events and lives would've been even more unfortunate.  So, maybe what each cat needs is a dog along for the ride? _ "

Carmilla laughs softly.  "They have a point, there."

"What happened to, 'Ya killin' me, Hollis?'" Laura asks smugly.

Carmilla shrugs.  "Can't be killed if you're dead.  Maybe that just means at the same time, you're what's keeping me alive, too."

Laura giggles and snuggles up against Carmilla.

 

Mel stands up and lets out a long sigh.

"Where are you going?" Danny asks.

"Outside into the storm.  I'd rather get flattened by a tree branch than hear any more Hollstein cuteness."

She walks out of the room and Carmilla smiles at her departure before realizing LaFontaine is staring very intently at her.

"What...?"

LaF takes a deep breath.  "I'm thinking, for the sequel, I'll just attach a GoPro camera to you."

Carmilla's eyes widen.

" _ No _ ."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Carmilla Movie!! Really wanted to celebrate and give back to those of you who've helped me continue writing for this fandom. Hope you enjoyed the fluff!  
> As for the future of this fic, I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it. Life _should_ *crosses fingers* be easing up on me now, so I'll have more time for writing!  
>  I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> And, as always, stay awesome <3


	46. In Front of My Salad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura rush to a five-star restaurant to make a dinner reservation that they made before Laura was turned into a child. When the waitress and Carmilla begin flirting, Laura decides to put a plan into action to make the evening more enjoyable for her and her vampire girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " _I have a prompt: Little Laura and Carm (who is her usual normal self) go to a cafe/diner/restaurant whatever and Carm gets hit on by a waitress. A very pretty waitress. And Laura gets jealous, but is forced to watch the waitress flirt with her girlfriend, because she can't exactly tell her that she's Carm's girlfriend (well, she could, theoretically, but that would be...undesirable). And Carmilla lets the waitress flirt with her, because she likes jealous Laura (or whatever reason ou find plausible)._ " --[lufluf](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lufluf/pseuds/lufluf)  
> Hope I did this hilarious prompt justice! :D

“You sure they’re gonna let us in?” Laura asks, trying her best to keep up with Carmilla as they dash towards their destination.  There was a last-minute rush to find a fancy outfit for the five-year old and by the time they found a nice blue dress for Laura, their reservation was less than an hour away.

“Cutie, I paid good money to reserve not only this table months in advance, but an entire section of the restaurant.  If anyone gives us problems, I’m gonna demand they also be served on the menu.  Even if we _are_ late,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura giggles.  “I’d find your grumpiness more endearing if you weren’t dragging me down the street and crushing my hand.”

Carmilla frowns and releases Laura’s hand as they hastily walk.  “Oh.  Sorry.”

“No, no, you’re right.  We’re gonna miss our reservation,” Laura says, looking down at her reddened hand.

“Not really worth you losing a limb,” Carmilla comments.

Laura shrugs.  “The place _did_ get great reviews on Yelp.  Might be worth it.”

Carmilla rolls her eyes and holds the door open for Laura, who marches past her with a grin.

 

“Uhm,” the hostess mumbles upon seeing a child enter the restaurant.

“Two for Karnstein,” Carmilla tells her.

The hostess stares at her, then down at Laura, then back at Carmilla.  “Your… reservation is for you and your daughter?”

“I’m not her daughter,” Laura replies stiffly.

The hostess regards them suspiciously.

“It’s not like I kidnapped her and brought her to a five-star restaurant,” Carmilla grumbles.  “I’m her… baby-sitter.”

Laura pouts at this, but doesn’t argue.

“Fine.  Right this way,” the hostess says, grabbing two menus.  The restaurant is pretty empty, with the section they’re heading towards even more so.

 

Carmilla hangs behind Laura as they follow the hostess and she leans down to whisper.  “Want me to ask for a booster seat?”

Laura crosses her arms.  “And subject ourselves to more “potential kidnapper” scrutiny?  No, thanks.”

Carmilla chuckles.  They reach the table and both sit down while the hostess lays out the menus by the starter salad.  Laura can barely see above the table but neither she nor Carmilla comment.

“Would you like some… vertical assistance?” the hostess asks Laura.

Laura frowns at her.  “No!”

The hostess looks over at Carmilla with a pointed look.

 

“Ah… how about you give us some time to discuss that?  I promise I’m a gal worth waiting for,” Carmilla suggests, turning on her charm simply to get the hostess to leave faster.

It seems to work too well, however, when the hostess goes from leery to grinning back.  Her eyes linger on Carmilla, taking in her slim black dress and heels.  “Sure.  My name is Elena.  But my friends call me Elle.”

Carmilla and Laura both stiffen.

“Right.  Elena,” Carmilla replies, clearing her throat.

Elena seems to take this the wrong way entirely and throws back a wink.  “Right. So… _not_ friends.”  She walks away with a hip sway.

 

“She’s FLIRTING with you?!” Laura squeaks when Elena is out of earshot.  “Right in front of me!”

“In front of your _salad_ ,” Carmilla points out, trying and failing to stifle a snicker.

Laura huffs.  “I’ll appreciate that later… after we set the record straight.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes playfully.  “What do you wanna do, cutie?  Tell our already-suspicious hostess who doesn’t live anywhere near the weirdness of Styria that I’m a vampire a few centuries old with a bottomless trust fund who reserved seating months ago for me and my girlfriend, but now my girlfriend shrunk into a five year old who can’t even see above her salad bowl?”  Carmilla shrugs.  “Not that the height difference is _that_ big.

“Fine, fine.  But dial back on the flirting, please?  I’m getting flashbacks to your parade of study buddies,” Laura comments.

Carmilla nods seriously at this.  “Okay.  Promise.”

“Thank you.”  Laura sucks in a breath.  “But I think will take her up on the offer for some kind of boost.”   This seems to give her an idea.  “Wait.”

 

Carmilla rolls her eyes, amused.  “Laura, I know you hate it, but you need some kind of--”

Laura shakes her head.  “No, not about the seat.  Well, it’s kind of about the seat.”

She grins.

“Wanna have some fun with Elena?”

Carmilla looks at her, confused.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, do you work out?” Carmilla asks, stirring her drink with the straw while maintaining eye contact with Elena.  The bartender actually rolls her eyes and walks away.

“I work out enough,” Elena replies with a sly grin.  She’d promised the only waitress working that night that she’d cover her shift for her since it was a slow night- as per Carmilla’s suggestion.

Carmilla’s phone screen lights up and she glances down at it.

“ _Get me more cookies, please!_ ”

Carmilla chuckles.  “My beloved bottomless pit demands more cookies.”

“You’re too good to her,” Elena says, heading towards the kitchen and gesturing for Carmilla to follow.

“Ah, well, I always treat a pretty gal right,” Carmilla replies.

Elena smirks.  “Noted.”

 

She heads into the kitchen and returns in a few moments with a plate of cookies in hand, going to Laura’s table as Carmilla follows.  Laura is on three soft-looking pillows and has since been moved to a table meant for four, with several main course plates, now empty, situated before her.

“Yesss!” Laura cheers, snatching one off the plate before it even hits the table and stuffing it into her mouth.  “Beftdate _everrr_.”

Carmilla gives her a panicked look from behind Elena and Laura chokes on her cookie when she realizes what she’s said.

“By which I mean, a total age-appropriate baby-sitter/baby-sittee date,” Laura clarifies.  “That my dad is definitely aware of.”

Carmilla actually facepalms.

Elena hums in response.  “Well, if you need anything else… I guess text your baby-sitter.”  She turns to head back to the bar, and Carmilla lingers behind with Laura.

 

“Smooth, sundance,” Carmilla comments.

Laura huffs and takes a bite of a cookie.  “Your date wandered off, y’know.”

“She’s right here,” Carmilla replies sweetly, booping Laura on the nose.

Laura drops her grumpiness act and she giggles.  “I was teasing you, Carm.  But seriously, you seemed to be having fun flirting with her.”

“This seems like a real grimy thing to be doing during our big date night,” Carmilla mumbles.

“Aw, come on,” Laura says.  “You’ve been watching after me for months.  You deserve a carefree night out.”

Carmilla frowns.  “But…”

Laura shakes her head.  “No buts!  Go follow that pretty waitress to the bar and get your charm on, Karnstein.”

Carmilla laughs and kisses her on the cheek.  “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Laura replies, reaching for another cookie.

Carmilla smiles and gives her a small pat on the arm before going to the bar.  Another drink is waiting for her, matching the one Elena is sipping from.  The bartender is nowhere to be seen.

 

“She’s definitely crushing on you, you know.  It’s cute,” Elena comments, gesturing at Laura.  “You’re such a heartbreaker.”

“Oh, am I?” Carmilla asks coyly, feigning innocence.  She takes a sip of her drink—slightly too fruity for her taste.

“Mmhmm.  Breaking hearts, taking names,” Elena replies.

“Well, I definitely like taking what’s mine.”  Carmilla gives her a wink.  “If I break it in the process then I guess that’s par for the course.”

Elena chuckles.  “A girl after my own heart.”

“Be careful.  If that’s what I’m after, I might break it.” Carmilla says with a wink.

 

The bartender shows up with four shots in hand.  She puts them down in front of Carmilla and Elena.  Elena returns her own wink, and they take two shots each other.

“Ah, haven’t done this in ages,” Carmilla comments.

 

Elena grins and pays with the rim of her glass.  “So, tell me.  How does a gorgeous gal like yourself end up spending her Friday night baby-sitting a gross brat in a five-star restaurant?”

Whatever flirtatious air was between them vanishes instantly.   “Maybe that’s exactly how I want to spend my Friday nights,” Carmilla answers stiffly.

Elena seems to realize she’s made a mistake with her previous comment.  “I… I just meant, you’re young and hot and seem like you know how to have a good time. That girl seems like a waste of a good Friday night.”

Carmilla narrows her eyes in a glare.  “You’re gonna wanna tread carefully, now.”

“Geez,” Elena frowns, “no need to get all worked up over nothing.”

 

Carmilla stands up at this.  “Laura is _not_ nothing.  I took her out tonight because she’s the most important thing in my life, and even though I’m with her all the time, the real waste would be any Friday night _not_ spent with her.”

Someone clears their throat behind Carmilla and she turns to find Laura.

“I, uh… guess this is a bad time to ask for more brownies,” Laura mumbles.

Carmilla pulls out a wad of cash and throws it at the bar next to Elena.  “We’re leaving, cutie.”  She takes Laura by the hand and leads her out the front door.

Elena scowls and counts the cash.  “Damn, she was a good tipper, too.  Really shouldn’t have messed that one up.”

  

* * *

 

 

“What was that all about?” Laura asks when they’re outside.

“Nothing,” Carmilla grumbles.

Laura pouts and stops short, which catches Carmilla by surprise and she winds up dragging Laura for a few steps by accident.

“What are you _doing_?” Carmilla asks.

“Look, we abandoned a great brownie, so the least I deserve is an explanation,” Laura demands.

Carmilla rolls her eyes. “You didn’t even get a chance to ask for another brownie.”

“Well…”  Laura crosses her arms.  “It had the _potential_ to be a great brownie.”

Carmilla clenches her jaw.

“Oookay, someone’s cranky,” Laura says.  She steps closer to Carmilla and wraps her arms around her waist, giving her a tight squeeze.

 

“Laura.”  Carmilla looks down at Laura, who tightens her embrace.  “Laura?”

“Hmm?”

Carmilla chuckles.  “Not that I’m not enjoying this hug, but _why_ are you hugging me?”

She feels Laura shrug.  “You just looked like you needed one.”  Laura pulls away and looks up at Carmilla.  “Feel better?”

Carmilla smiles and nods.  “Yes.”

“Good.  Grumpy pants Carm isn’t as good as happy Carm.”  Laura starts walking and Carmilla trails after her with an amused look.

 

“She insulted you.”

Laura turns to look back at Carmilla.  “Huh?”

“Elena.  She called you a brat and a waste of time,” Carmilla mumbles.

Laura stares at Carmilla before breaking into a fit of giggles.

Carmilla’s mouth drops open in offense.  “ _What_ are you laughing about?”

“Are you telling me you yelled at that woman and then grossly overpaid so you could storm out to defend my honor?” Laura asks, still giggling.

Carmilla crosses her arms and scowls.

“I’m not laughing at you,” Laura clarifies.  “I’m just touched you’d do that over me.”

 

Carmilla’s expression softens.  “Yeah, well, you should know by now no one gets to insult my creampuff. Except for me.  Sometimes.”

Laura nods.  She takes Carmilla’s hand and gently tugs her along.  “I do know.”

 

They make it about half a block before Carmilla speaks again.  “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Laura replies.

“Why did you let me flirt with her tonight?” Carmilla asks.

Laura laughs softly.  “I told you.  You looked like you were having fun and you deserved a carefree night out.”

Carmilla furrows her eyebrows together.  “That’s all?”

“I may be stuck in the body of a child, but I’ve still got enough emotional maturity and security to know it was harmless,” Laura says sincerely.  “You were laughing and seemed lighter tonight.  Y’know-- until she started calling me a brat.  Which… I probably _was_ to her.”  She shrugs.  “A little bit of casual flirtation, some alcohol.  Not an awful way to spend a Friday night.”

Carmilla pulls Laura into a small hug before releasing her.  “That _was_ fun.  But for the record, any evening with you is time well spent.”

“Noted.  And right back atcha.”  Laura beams up at her.  “ _And…_ the evening doesn’t have to be over yet.”  There’s a glint in her eye.

Carmilla grins.  “Oh?  Is that so?”

Laura reaches into her pocket and pulls out something bundled in napkins.  “I saved two cookies for the road.”

 

Carmilla laughs at this and takes the one being offered to her.  “Good thinking, sweetheart.”

Laura takes a bite of her own cookie.  “Y’know, there’s an ice cream parlor nearby with a cute girl on shift tonight.”

Carmilla quirks an eyebrow and then narrows her eyes in a glare.

Laura pouts.  “It was worth a shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess whose third Carmillaversary is today~  
> This year's carmillaversary kinda snuck up on me, but I did manage to churn this update out in time, so there's that. Felt fitting to add to the"46-chapter-crackfic-that-started-out-as-a-one-shot" that's been such a fun ride to write and interact with you guys over!  
> As always, I'd be more than happy to accept any more ideas from you guys, so feel free to leave any you have in the comments or if you wanna hit me up on my [tumblr](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/), I'll work on it.  
> I'll also continue to tag any stuff related to this fic on tumblr under "[#Carmilla Childcare"](http://romeo-oh-nomeo.tumblr.com/search/carmilla+childcare).  
> Stay awesome <3


End file.
